YOU CANNOT DRAW ON RESOURCES YOU DO NOT HAVE

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be mad know to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

In the May/June issue of Psychology Today, in an interview with psychologist, David Schnarch, writer Pamela Weintraub reports:  And when you become your own person within a relationship, you leave room for someone else to do the same.  Instead of depending on a partner to help you manage your own feelings and maintain your equilibrium, you are free to be with your partner.  "You can offer your partner a hand instead of just your needs."  Schnarch goes on to emphasize, You have to learn to sooth your own discomfort, regulate your own emotions, and pursue your own goals. To stop being a drain on your partner and to handle problems on your own.

I liked the article and would recommend its reading, nevertheless, as a Bowenist*, Dr. Schnarch should understand that learning to sooth one's own discomforts is almost impossible.  I know that skills can be taught, but when stress levels increase, people will return to their old selves.  One cannot draw on resources he does not have.  That is the problem with a lot of approaches to therapy, people are asked to draw on resources they do not have.  Purpose and meaning cannot be drawn out of thin air.  Soothing one's own anxieties demands resources that one cannot generate within himself when stress becomes unbearable.

Generally, psychologists do not regard faith as being a legitimate approach to therapy, but trusting in God has helped many, many people deal with difficult marriages, anxiety, depression and addictions.  God is the source of the resources needed to sooth your own feelings and maintain your equilibrium so that you can be the kind of marriage partner who can help your spouse grow and your marriage flourish.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*I respect Dr. Bowen's work, but as an atheist, ultimately, he does leave those with a lot of undifferentiated ego mass without any real resources to deal with their problems.  Bowen does, for me, provide a good lense through which to diagnose and even to design treatment, but there has to be a resource from which strength is drawn, otherwise during periods of high stress a person will revert to his original condition.

MARRIAGE REQUIRES ONE TO BECOME AN ADULT

To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.  If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him . . . But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such case the brother or sister is not bound.  For God has called us to peace(I Corinthians 7: 12-15).

A book could be written about these verses, but this is only a devotional, so I will only make one point: Marriage does require a person to become an adult. If a marriage is to succeed and flourish, each partner has to grow and mature.  Successful people are not static, staying the same throughout their lives.  It is inevitable that one of the partners will make the decision to grow.  When one spouse hears the call of God to become an adult, the other spouse is faced with these choices: 1) to become an adult, too, 2) to live with it, facing the possibility of becoming an adult, him/her self, or 3) to sabotage the growth by threatening to leave, or some other means of causing trouble in the family relationship.  The best way to help a marriage partner is not to surrender to the trouble, but to continue on the path of growing in faith, knowledge and personal responsibility.  If a spouse refuses to come along, not much else can be done to help him or her to mature and he or she will continue to live as a child in a world that desperately needs adults.

Our Father's Love,
Tom 

PUNISHING YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN SINS? (A Communion Meditation)

But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.  If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (I John 1:7-9).

I was randomly searching for a communion meditation thought when I found a blurb from an old issue of Psychology Today.  The question was asked, "Does guilt cause people to punish themselves?"  There definitely is a correlation between the emotion of guilt and cutting/self mutilation, binge eating, self-sabotage and even suicide.

Brock Bastian, a psychologist at the university of Queensland, used this test to research the question, Does guilt cause people to punish themselves?  Dr. Bastian asked people if they had done something bad that made them feel guilty.  He asked them to write about it.  He asked each participant, if they felt guilty or not, to put their arm in ice water as long as they could stand it.  Then they could pull their arm out. 

This little test revealed that: 1) Those who felt guilty kept their arms in the ice water longer; 2) These same people rated the experience more painful, and 3) This experience of punishing one's self reduced the guilty person's perception of guilt.

What does this mean for communion?  There is no self-punishment that can pay for our sins.  Only the blood of Jesus can cleanse us.  All the Lord requires is that sinful behavior be recognized and confessed, and it is forgiven; guilt is taken away.  Do not think that because one has suffered because of his sinful behavior he is less guilty.

The Lord's Table is the family table for Christians to gather around, confessing their sins.  They know that their guilt is taken away because of the ultimate gift of God in the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ.

Our Father's Love,
Tom

*The book of I John was written to Christians; non Christians were not the primary audience.

PONYSHO

Sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider he has thrown into the sea (Exodus 15:18).

I went and did it.  I've always wanted to have a Mustang convertible with a V8 engine and some sweet sounding pipes, and it was like the Lord wanted me to have it too.  I had noticed this car before, sitting on a used car dealers lot, but I could never justify spending the money to buy a big-boy toy to play with.  I was returning from Helen's parent's house in Kansas, driving home alone. Driving through Lyndon, Kansas, I noticed that the Mustang convertible was still on the lot--a definite sign from God.  Still, I never would have stopped to check it out if I would have had a passenger--another sign.  I still drove past the used car lot, but I had this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach that I would regret not stopping to check it out--a third sign.  So, I turned around and went back.  The price on the care was about $1500 less than I expected--a 4th sign?  So with all these signs, who was I to say "no" to the Lord?  So, I bought the car, although I do not have it at home yet.

As a final note, the lovely and gracious Helen is OK with it, but I think it tested her a little.  And really, I was just teasing about all the signs from the Lord--but I think He might be OK with it too.  If I can make it work I will put up a picture of a Mustang exactly like the one I bought--I hope this doesn't turn out to be just another pony show.

Our Father's Blessings,

Tom

IN SORROW, CHRISTIANS HAVE HOPE

But we would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.  For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again . . . (I Thessalonians 4:13-14a).

The lovely and gracious Helen's dad passed away this morning.  Charles Huff's death is a great loss to the Tom Steele family.  Of course, Helen's dad had a great deal to do with Helen being the kind of woman I would want to be my wife and the mother of our children.  That fact alone made him an important man to me.  He was a very important grandfather role model and mentor to our children.  His influence was an important dynamic in the formation and function of our family; we will grieve his loss for quite sometime.

What I want each reader to understand is that in our family we believe that we have not seen the last of Charles Huff!  If one has ever touched a corpse, to possess a hope that the dead person will ever be seen alive again is quite audacious, to say the least.  Yet, based on the history of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ, that is exactly what we believe.  Death is only sleep when Jesus Christ is around.  The Christian does not have to say, "Goodbye" to Charles, only, "So long, see you later."

Our Father's Love,
Tom

NEED A TOUCH?

When he came down from the mountain, great crowds followed him; and behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, "Lord, if you will, you can make me clean."  And he stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, "I will; be clean." and immediately his leprosy was cleansed (Matthew 8:1-3).

This is only one of several times when Jesus touched the one whom he was healing.  We know from the Biblical record that touching was not essential to the healing process.  At Jesus' word, one could be healed even if he was not present, so it is easy to assume that physical touching was not necessary for physical healing.  So why did Jesus touch the leper when he healed him?

According to the law of Moses, a leper was to identify himself as a leper so that non lepers could keep their distance.  Leprosy was a communicable disease, so, as a result, a leper had to be quarantined from the healthy population.  This man with leprosy had probably not experienced very much compassionate human touching in his life and perhaps that is why Jesus included touching in the healing process.

I have never considered myself as a "touchy, feely" guy, and yet when Helen's (my lovely and gracious wife) and my schedules become extremely busy and there is not much touching time, I find myself becoming irritable for no apparent reason.  Touching is communication.  Proper touching is validation, saying, "You are important to me," or "I love you."

Christians are called to be like their master.  We should not be afraid to give a hug, a handshake or a pat on the back as we witness about the love of God and His Son, Jesus the Christ in our lives.  Do you need a touch?

Our Father's Love,
Tom

BE CAREFUL OF GENERICS

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I will reject you . . . (Hosea 4:6).

I always like to have a Scripture text with the blurbs that I write.  In this case it might be a little lame, but still, if we do not know something that is very important, we can really suffer because we did not know! 

This morning I was reading and article written by a child psychiatrist, Glen Havens, about child mental health and medications.  It was a very informative article, but one of the things that stood out to me was this: By Federal Drug Administration regulation, Generic compounds only have to be 70% as effective as the name brand to hit the market.  There can be significant variability in therapeutic benefit. I assume that this applies to all generic medications and not just psychotropics.  So, make sure you ask questions, and ask them again, and read labels so that you know what is the best decision to make in choosing between name brands and generics.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

CHRISTIANS GIVING TO THE LORD WHAT HE DOESN'T ASK FOR AND NOT GIVING TO HIM WHAT HE DOES ASK

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, "This is my body which is broken for you. Do this in reremembrance of me."  In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood.  Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me."  For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes (I Corinthians 11:23-26).

As much as Helen and I enjoyed our trip to Kansas on Easter weekend, we left disappointed even though we were blessed by our visit.  The reason we were disappointed was the fact that we did not receive communion.  I thought it would be a certainty that communion would be offered in the Abbyville Community Church, but it was not.  They did do some special things for Easter, and there was a gospel message, but there was no communion.

Services were over in Abbyville early enough so that we could go to another church where friends of our worship.  They were having a rousing testimony time, but there was no communion.  It is interesting to me that we are willing to give to the Lord what He hasn't ask for, and we do not give to Him what He has specifically asked for.  He hasn't asked us to celebrate Easter--every Lord's day is to be "Easter" to the Christian--but we do not celebrate the Lord's Supper, which He has specifically asked us to celebrate.  The Lord never asked us to go and lead people to repeat the "Sinner's Prayer," but He has specifically asked us to go and baptize sinners into Jesus Christ.  It is twisted theology that has led to all of this, and I do not know how the Lord is going to deal with it in judgment, but we need to ask ourselves once in a while, "Am I giving to God something He has not asked for in place of something that He has asked?"

Celebrating communion is a Good Friday through Easter message like no other, and certainly, a testimony like no other.  Without communion we left Abbyville a little empty.

Our Father's Love,
Tom

MORE ALIKE THAN DIFFERENT

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it (I Corinthians 10:13).

Human beings are more alike than they are different.  Granted, there are almost infinite variations from person to person.  It has been said that there are no two snowflakes that are alike, so it is that there are no two people exactly alike.  Still, human beings are more alike than they are different.  That is why those who work in health care can devise treatment protocols that can bring therapy and healing to the human body.

In the areas of mental health and spiritual health it is no less true, we are more alike than we are different.  One of the dynamics of counseling with which the counselor almost always has to deal is the thinking on the part of the one being counseled is, "My case is different.  You might have helped others, but my situation is so different, you will never be able to help me."  But, the truth is, there is a sameness to our problems; they can be remedied if one is willing to accept the therapy.

We are people of flesh who live in the world.  Satan attacks us through the desires and needs of the flesh: food, sex, social relationships being some of the strongest avenues of attack.  Satan also attacks us through the philosophies of the world: pleasure, power, beauty and wealth being the most salient avenues.  Because we are more alike than different, we are all vulnerable to satan's attacks on us through one, or more, means of attack.

The way of escape begins before the attacks come.  Being close to God or Father, and his Son, Jesus Christ, is the best way to thwart Satan's schemes from the very beginning.  In any case, trust this: God will not allow you to be tempted beyond which you are able to stand.  Stand firm, you will make it!  And never forget I John 1:9.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

A THOUSAND MILE DRIVE DOWN MEMORY LANE

Thus says the Lord; "Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls" ( Jeremiah 6:16).

Helen and I drove to Kansas for the Easter break.  It was good to take care of business at Helen's parents and to get a clearer understanding of their life situation.  Being elderly people, their children need check on them fairly frequently.  We attended "Good Friday" services at the New Strawn Christian Church and renewed some old acquaintances there.  We spent Saturday cleaning and organizing around Dad & Mom's house and bid them farewell.

We were up and going at 5:30 Sunday Morning, driving from Burlington, Kansas to Abbyville, Kansas, arriving in time for morning worship.  Abbyville is the location of my first church when I started in the Christian ministry.  Though that was about 40 years ago, we still have dear friends there, one of them celebrating her 90th birthday.  She doesn't look a day over 70.  We spent the day visiting with our dear brothers and sisters in Christ, but by 6:00 p.m. we needed to begin the trip home to Iowa so I could make it to an appointment with the doctor on Monday.  We did a lot of driving and visiting in a short time, but it was a blessing to us.

When we commit our lives to serving the Lord and walking in His way, there will be hardship and difficulty, but looking back, the way is good.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

THE DRAWING POWER OF GOD'S LOVE

No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day (John 6:44).

. . . "and I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself."  He said this to show by what death he was to die (John 12:32-33).

What is traditionally called Easter is the season when attention is drawn to the historical events that are the foundation of the Christian faith, the death, burial and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.  If these events are not true, there is no faith, no hope and no love in the world.  That statement may sound extreme, but it simply means that if these events are not historical there is no God.  Faith is reduced to ritual. Hope is reduced to wishful thinking.  Love is reduced to altruism.  And, we are still in our sins.

The power that draws people to God is not some mystical irresistible tractor beam focused on a few whom God has arbitrarily chosen, but it is the power of love extended to all who will receive it.  If the good news of God's love will not move the human heart to surrender to Him, nothing else will.  Have a blessed Easter season.

Our Father's Love,
Tom

BELIEFS DETERMINE ACTIONS

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 3:27).

Josh McDowell wrote an article in Christian Counseling Today called, "What Teens Believe."  He shared some of his research on the beliefs of teens who lack a basic biblical belief system.  I do not vouch for the accuracy of his research except to say that it sounds reasonable to me and that is why I'm sharing it with you.

Teens who lack a biblical belief system are:
1. 36% more likely to lie to a friend;
2. 48% more likely to cheat on an examination;
3. 200% more likely to steal;
4. 200% more likely to physically hurt someone;
5. 300% more likely to use illegal drugs;
6. 600% more likely to attempt suicide.

What someone thinks and believes does have consequences!

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

GOOD RELIGION

If any one thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this man's religion is vain.  Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world (James 1:26-27).

Religion that makes you feel good without being good is not any good.*

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*A barb borrowed from Sword and Staff.

I RECEIVED A NICE COMPLIMENT, OR THE GOOD ABOUT GRAY HAIR

A hoary head (gray hair) is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life (Proverbs 16:31).

Every Monday, the Hy Vee super market in our area gives senior citizens a discount on what ever they buy, a senior citizen being anyone over 55.  As I was checking out this last Monday, the checker asked if I was a "senior."  I replied, "yes I am," I'm 64, "but thank you for asking."  The checker didn't intend to compliment me on my youthful good looks, she was just doing her job, but it certainly made me feel good, knowing that she felt like she needed to ask--it made my day.

I do not have gray hair yet.  As recently as the early 20th century the average life expectancy was only about 50 years.  That someone would live until their hair was gray was somewhat unusual.  The best way to live to the age a gray hair was to live a clean and righteous life.  Perhaps I will make it to "gray hair" and I hope you do too.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

WHAT WAY ARE YOU GOING?

Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off an evil odor; so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor.  A wise man's heart inclines him toward the right, but a fool's heart toward the left (Ecclesiastes 10:1-2).

The way of the Lord is on the right.  The way of man veers to the left.  The way of the Lord is personal responsibility for one's behavior.  The way of man is for society to accept responsibility for personal irresponsible behavior.  Certainly, it is a sign of a decaying society when it is demanded of the government, and church related institutions, that they pay the birth-control expenses of single women.  On this earth, there is no end to foolishness. 

Though the contraceptive issue is a cheap campaign ploy of the democrats in an attempt to say the Republicans have declared war on women, it does reveal the depths of depravity to which our culture is headed.  How much lower can it descend?  Let me think, we already kill babies in an attempt to solve our social problems, now free contraceptives.  Free drugs to keep each one happy while the economy sinks into oblivion?  I believe there is a strong connection of the general abandonment of personal responsibility to a sinking economy.  The costs of supporting personal irresponsibility are too enormous to overcome.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

THE NECESSITY OF FORGIVENESS

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against any one; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses (Mark 11:25).

Some of the goals of marriage counseling are to improve communication, to increase understanding in each spouse, and to build conflict resolution skills.  While being successful in accomplishing these goals in marriage counseling is a good thing, nevertheless, healing will never be complete unless there is forgiveness.

When Jesus taught about forgiveness, he tended to frame it in financial terms, Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors" he taught us to pray.  People are familiar with finance so it makes forgiveness a little more easy to understand when Jesus pictures forgiveness this way.  When a debt is forgiven, the note is put through the paper shredder; there is no longer a legal basis to hold the debtor accountable for his debt.  Though the debt might not be forgotten, it cannot be brought up again.

That two sinful people can be united in marriage and not hurt one another is nearly impossible and that is why forgiveness is so necessary.  Most of the time the hurts are minor, sometimes they are major, but always they will be sources of anger and conflict unless they are forgiven.  Forgiveness is a core value of being a Christian; to forgive is to love like God loves in Jesus Christ.

One of the hindrances to effective prayer is when forgiveness is withheld even when it is asked for.  God will not hear our prayers if we are not willing to forgive the one who has hurt us.

My understanding of Christian forgiveness is that it is not unconditional; there must be a change of mind which leads the offender to ask for forgiveness.  Sometimes there a pathological abusers out there who take advantage of forgiveness as a means of continuing the abuse and we must be wise in that regard.  Generally, asking for forgiveness implies a desire to change.  According to First John 1:9, forgiveness is conditioned on the offender recognizing that his behavior is sinful and, as a result, asks for forgiveness.

God loves each person; Jesus died on the cross for all!  The sins of every person are paid for in the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ--while we were yet sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).  God stands willing to forgive anyone who recognizes their sin and embraces Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.  Apart from that, they stand unforgiven.  Likewise, we must be so ready to forgive that forgiveness is a foregone conclusion if one asks for it.

Our Father's Blessings and Love,
Tom

THE ACTIVITY OF SALVATION: BELIEVING IN DR. CHRIST

Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of man will give to you; for on him has God the Father set his seal.  Then they said to him (Jesus), "What must we do to be doing the works of God?"  Jesus answered them, "This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he hath sent" (John 6: 27-29).

As I wrote in the Passivity of Salvation, salvation is something that only God can do to us--we cannot save our selves and make our selves whole!  The sacrificial death of Jesus Christ for our sins is the only price that can be payed.  The ministry of Holy Spirit is the only power that can make us whole.

It is only a coincidence that the doctor who is the doctor in charge of treating my sickness literally has the surname, Christ.  It adds a nice touch to this devotional does it not?  Dr. Christ is in charge of the treatment, but if I do not believe in him, can he heal me? 

I do not show or feel any signs of the disease I have.  It was only by an annual physical that it was discovered.  I could say, "I'm doing okay, I do not need Dr. Christ."  But I have seen what this disease does to men, so I do not want to take the risk.  As a result, believing in Dr. Christ, I am willing to sign the consent form for treatment, follow his instructions, show up at the hospital at the appointed times for treatment.  If the treatment is successful, I will be extremely thankful to Dr. Christ, even though I will pay him very well, because I could not have healed myself!  If I did not believe in Dr. Christ, I would do none of those things.

If one truly believes in Jesus Christ, all that follows is a foregone conclusion.  The activity of salvation is believing in Dr. Christ.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

QUICK TRIP TO CALIFORNIA

(The Lord) who satisfies you with good as long as you live so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's (Psalms 103:5).

We (Helen and I) just returned home from our annual President's Day holiday week-end trip to the great state of California to visit our grandchildren, Faith, Deacon and Parker and their wonderful parents, Rebecca and Kirk.  The weather was sunny and warm, a nice break from Iowa.  It was nice to see green grass and the almond trees blossoming!  The honey bees were out doing their job of spreading pollen around.

The state of California is truly the state of fruits & nuts.  The church my son-in-law serves is building an out door baptistry.  Since baptism is by immersion there has to be enough water to immerse a person under water.  The local officials couldn't decide if this would be a pond or a pool.  They finally decided that it would be a pool and, as a result, the church must post a "No Life Guard on Duty" sign on the baptistry.

It is a good thing to be connected to the family.  For children to be connected to the extended family gives them a source of meaning, purpose and self-esteem during their growing-years.  It is a blessing to grand parents too, keeping them young.  I think God intended to renew the strength of grand parents through their grand children.

The flights were uneventful this year, thank God, but those airplane seats are the most uncomfortable place to park one's "keester" since the steel tractor seat.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

THOUGHTS BEFORE I WENT UNDER: THE PASSIVITY OF SALVATION

And we all with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being changed into his likeness from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:18).

You know that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your fathers, not with perishable things such as silver and gold, but with the precious blood of Christ . . . (I Peter 1:18,19a).

When I was on the operating table waiting to be sedated, yesterday, I was thinking about the journey of physical healing I was beginning.  In purely human terms, the healing is coming from the doctor, nurses and hospital staff.  They provide the facility, expertise, medication and care needed for me to get well.  In my case, the doctor was doing a procedure on me that will make me well.  What would I be doing?  Nothing, (I had already signed the consent forms) except letting the doctor and staff work on me.  Then I thought, "Isn't that how salvation is, allowing the Divine healer to do his work in my life?" What is necessary for me to do is to sign the consent forms for treatment (Christian baptism) and to let go of the futile ways of the past.

I will have more to write about this in a following post.  For now, remember that Dr. God wants to heal your life if you will allow Him.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

AMERICAN PICKERS: A COMMUNION MEDITATION

You know that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your fathers, not with perishable things such as silver and gold, but with the precious blood of Christ like a lamb without blemish or spot (I Peter 1:18-19).

One of the programs I enjoy watching on television is American Pickers--it's on the History Channel.  The "pickers" are Mike Wolfe and Frank Fritz, who are from Iowa, incidentally, and they travel the United States looking for junk that is really treasure.  So, as they drive their van, they are looking for places that have lots of junk.  Finding one, they will ask the owner if they can look through their junk.  If they find some junk that is really a treasure, they will make an offer to buy that object for a certain amount of money, knowing they can re-sell that object for more money and make a profit on it. 

Mike & Frank are funny to watch, but their program reminds me of one of the basic principles taught in economics 101: An item is only worth what a buyer will pay for it.  Mike & Frank will not buy an object on which they cannot make a profit.  If the seller wants too much money for an item, then they simply move on. 

The point I want to make here is that God has established the value of every human being here by what He has paid for them.  God did not cheap out here, trying to redeem us, buy our salvation, with mere gold and silver, but He bought us with the precious blood of Jesus Christ, His Son.  God's motive is not the profit motive; the reason God is so extravagant in the payment price is that He loves us as much as His very own Son who was sacrificed on the cross for you and me.

Our Father's Love
Tom

NARCISSISM: SELF-ESTEEM GONE TO SEED

For by the grace given to me I bid every one among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think . . . (Romans 12:3).

Whether it is an over emphasis on self-esteem, or a misunderstanding of how to deal with low self-esteem, it certainly seems like we are raising more and more narcissistic and self-centered people.  Personal peace, happiness and prosperity are our chief values.  We tend to be, in our culture, more "I" centered than "we" centered.  Even among so-called low self-esteem people there are many times when they think, "rules are for other people, they do not apply to me."  As a result, there is a lot of out-of-control behavior by low self-esteem people.  Yes, low self-esteem people can be narcissistic.

What this means is that low self-esteem people are not always low self-esteem people.  It just means that, more often than not, they seem to be low self-esteem.  Low self-esteem is situation specific, it is not a constant.  At work one may act with great confidence and competence while in her social life she might be a blushing, stumbling "wall flower."  One of the tasks of the low self-esteemers is to identify the competencies they have and the beliefs they have that enable them to act in self-accepting ways, and try to strengthen them and expand them.

The opposite of low self-esteem is not self-centeredness, or narcissism, it is being comfortable with one's self and becoming what God created us to be.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

SELF-ESTEEM AND CONFIRMATION BIAS

. . . and you shall know the truth, and the truth will make you free (John 8:32).

There are no truly objective researchers.  Any researcher who has set forth a hypothesis tends to favor evidence that confirms his hypothesis.  That is the definition of confirmation bias.  Not only is confirmation bias a problem for researchers, it is a problem for ordinary people too.  If a person has come to the conclusion that he or she is worthless and has little to offer in terms of beauty, talent, intellect or finance, then that person only selects evidence that supports his conclusion.  If one is told he is ugly, stupid, fat, clumsy and will not amount to anything enough, he will believe it. 

In many cases, people with low self-esteem cannot be reasoned out of it.  There's an old counselor story about a man, "John," who came to the counselor believing he was dead.  The counselor reasoned with the man for most of the session, but then he finally used this argument when he asked the client, "John, do dead men bleed?" John replied, "no."  So, the counselor gave John a needle and asked him to prick his finger.  John did as the counselor asked and blood came from his finger.  Then the counselor said, "See, John, you are alive because dead men do not bleed."  Then John said, "Well what do you know, dead men do bleed!"

In dealing with depression and low self-esteem, this phenomena of confirmation bias is not easily dealt with, but the solution is always the truth.  Dr. Chris Thurman wrote a book called, The Lies We Believe.  It would be worthwhile reading for anyone dealing with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.  Daily we are surrounded with messages about self-worth that are lies.  The antidote to that is bathing in the truth every day.  How do your beliefs and values line up with the sound teachings of the Bible?  Low self-esteem does not cause false beliefs, rather, the lies we choose to believe cause low self-esteem.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*There is an emotional component to low self-esteem that makes it so difficult to remedy.  One additional facet of treatment is to fellowship with those who live the truth--those with healthy self-esteem.

THOUGHTS ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM: GUILT AND SHAME

Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons (Genesis 3:7).

Adam and Eve had just eaten the fruit that God had told them specifically not to eat.  Guilt is a legal term.  If one violates the law, he is guilty of it.  Shame is the feeling of worthlessness that one should have as a result of violating the law.  Adam and Eve felt the shame, and therefore, sewed fig leaves together to cover their nakedness.  Verse 8 of Genesis 3 tells us that they then tried to hide from God.  Their actions indicated their shame--shame accompanies sin.

I've often wondered if all the tattoos that men and women cover themselves with these days are attempts to cover the shame they feel.  Perhaps that is a subject for research.  Guilt and shame are not always the cause of low self-esteem, but much of the time they are.  If one is suffering from low self-esteem, it is worth taking some time to probe around in the past to see if there are some "Adam & Eve" moments of unfaithfulness and disobedience that have been covered in psychological fig leaves that need to be uncovered.

Shame is the feeling of worthlessness that results from wrong-doing, real or imagined.  Those suffering from shame must remember that the value of any object is always established by the one who purchases it.  Think about it, God has established your worth by purchasing you with the precious blood of his only Son, Jesus Christ!  Regardless of your sin, guilt and shame, your worth has been established by God (John 3:16-17).

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

THOUGHTS ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM: SELF-CARE

Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God.  On it you shall not do any work . . . (Exodus 20:9,10).

The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath . . . (Mark 2:27).

It should be noted that Christians are no longer under the Sabbath law (Colossians 2:16-23) but there remains a principle of rhythmic rest and worship that refreshes our hearts and bodies enabling us to face life with confidence.  Christians celebrate the Lord's Day, the day of Christ's resurrection, on a weekly basis, resting from nonessential labors to fellowship with sisters and brothers in Christ, worship and reflect on the author of creation and salvation, Jesus Christ. When these most-important matters are observed, a person is blessed and refreshed.

Many people suffer from low self-esteem because they violate this principle of regular rest and worship.  It is difficult to have positive self-esteem if one is chronically tired.  Chronic weariness and pain have a role in causing depression, while rest and worship refresh the heart.  A person with materialistic values believes he, or she, only has value because of what he, or she, produces.  As a result, there is an idolatry of work, and workers drive themselves beyond limits, becoming anxious, irritable and exhausted.

The sabbath principle was made for human beings so that they can see and appreciate who they really are.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

THOUGHTS ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27).

I'm sharing some thoughts on self-esteem at the request of a reader and because there is a need for understanding self-esteem at this time.  My basic understanding of self-esteem is based in theology, for it is God who gives value to human beings; human beings do not have the final word on the worth of themselves.

Self-esteem may be defined as the feeling we experience as the result of self-appraisal or appraisal by others.  This appraisal is either positive of negative; if negative, we usually feel depreciated, deficient, and depressed; if positive, we usually feel elevated, enthusiastic, and exuberant.  Thus, positive self-appraisal is crucial to our well being.  Negative appraisal from others is less threatening if we can appraise ourselves positively (Bruce Parmenter, 1986).*

We are not the final authority on our own self-worth, nor is the appraisal of others the final word on our own self-worth.  The feelings and the values of the appraiser, the glasses through which they view the world, distort the truth of the value of another human being.  Do not allow the criticisms of others, or your own negative self-talk and feelings conquer the truth.  God says you are created in his image, thus your dignity, value and nobility are established!

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*Bruce Parmenter was a seminary professor of mine, and a friend.  He wrote a book called, What the Bible Says About Self-Esteem.  Many of his thoughts will be reflected in this series of self-esteem.

YOGI'S WISDOM

Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?"  Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but by me . . ." (John 14:5-6).

Yogi Berra* had a way of expressing himself that is truly unique--funny, but profound.  This saying credited to him was reproduced in a church news-letter.  It reminded me of the cited text above.  I just had to share it: If you don't know where you're going you'll end up somewhere else!  I have a feeling Jesus would laugh and would agree completely.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*When I was a boy, Yogi Berra was an all-time great catcher for the New York Yankees baseball team.  I was a Yankee fan.

METOPROLOL* FOR THE SOUL

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid (John 14:27).

I receive a health news-letter from Dr. Andrew Weil.  In today's letter he cited a Norwegian study about the correlation between church attendance and lower blood pressure: A large new study from Norway suggests that the more time men and women spend in church, the lower their blood pressure.  Earlier research in the U.S. suggested a similar association between church attendance and blood pressure, but the Norwegian researchers didn't expect to see the same thing in their country.  In Norway only about 4% of the population attends church while in the United States about 40% of the population attends church on a weekly basis.

I do not recommend that people start attending church so that it will improve their health.  The reason people should attend church is because the gospel of Jesus Christ is true--immediate salvation or eternal punishment await.  The lower blood pressure, that results from having faith in Christ, is one of the immediate blessings of salvation.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*Metoprolol is a blood-pressure medication.

A LITTLE GOOD NEWS

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have ever lasting life (John 3:16 my memory version).

He who does not love remains in death.  Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer . . .(I John 3:14-15).

Any who have followed this blog know that I had a Carpenter's CD playing in my F-150 farm truck for about a week.  I gave it up.  Making a long story short, I happened upon an Ann Murray CD.  I have had that one playing in the truck for a while now, too.  I guess those old love songs make this old man a little sappy, especially when they are sung by the next silkiest, smoothest voice ever, Ann Murry.  On this CD is an interesting song called, A Little Good News.

Gospel literally means, good news.  The good news is that God has provided a means of salvation for ALL in Jesus Christ.  It is through this salvation that hearts are changed and lives are changed so that we can love our enemies and help the disadvantaged.  As hearts and lives are changed for Jesus, the world is changed.  Isn't that a little good news?

In closing, I'd like you to consider that there are approximately 1.9 billion people* on this earth who have not heard the gospel for the first time.  There are approximately 1.4 billion people who live on less than $1.25 a day.  There's a great need out there yet for a little good news.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*Statistics are from the Foster Report in the Christian Counseling Connection, a periodical of the American Association of Christian Counselors.

ADDENDUM TO CALLING MIKE LEDGEWOOD

When I look at the heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars which thou hast established; what is man that thou art mindful of him, and the son of man that thou doest care for him? (Psalms 8:3-4).

In a universe of a billion trillion stars, not counting the planets, it seems that there should be life out there somewhere to contact.  In fact, some scientists have asked the question, "Where is everybody?" due to the high probability that there are other earth's out there where conditions are similar to ours so that life could have evolved.  Some, like Carl Sagan, have advanced the notion that the reason we have not encountered extra-terrestial aliens is because there is a "high probability that advanced civilizations destroy themselves."* That appears to be the destiny of planet earth.  From weapons biological to nuclear weapons falling into the hands of secular dictators and the moon-worshippers obsessed with death, there is the potential for us to do ourselves in and civilization erased from planet earth unless there are "interstellar policemen."

 God chose to create life in one place, on planet earth.  On this spec of dust in the universe, God chose to create man.  If life is found somewhere else, so be it, but I believe the silence in the universe is intended to show us that life cannot spontaneously come from non life.  It is only on earth that God has created us with free will to live our lives and make choices.  Materialists are desperate to find life elsewhere in the universe because the alternative is God and the notion of a God to whom we are accountable is unacceptable.  That we find ourselves in this mess on planet earth is because we have chosen to ignore our Creator and go our own way.

The "interstellar policemen" are coming, and all things will be made right.

Our Father's Warnings,
Tom

*From a column by Charles Krauthammer, Are we alone in the Universe?

CALLING MIKE LEDGEWOOD

The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and evil doers, and throw them into the furnace of fire; there men will weep and gnash their teeth.  Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father.  He who has ears, let him hear (Matthew 13:41-43).

Anyone who knows who Mike Ledgewood is either actually knows a person named Mike Ledgewood or has been listening to too much of the Carpenter's music.  I am the latter.  My Ford F-150 farm truck has a dynamite sound system.  My wife left a Carpenter's CD in the counsel.  Last week it finally made it into the CD player and I have been listening to the silky-smooth voice of Karen Carpenter for about a week now--Okay, okay, I promise I will give it a rest.  It is unbelievable that it has be nearly 30 years since her passing.*

Anyway, there is a fun song on the CD that is the anthem of  world contact day called, Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft. 

If you took the time to listen you now know who Mike Ledgewood is--the guy on the phone to the DJ announcer.  I've always wondered if the name Mike Ledgewood is symbolic of something, or if it was a name plucked out of thin air.  One of the things that has always interested me about the song is the assumption that space aliens are friendly and that they are "interstellar policemen."  Is there an innate desire in human beings to have order imposed on them by extra-terrestials with super natural power?

The Bible speaks of a day when, at the Lord's command, the archangel, Michael (Mike Ledgewood?), will lead the angels in the harvest of the earth, first taking wickedness, and those who cause it, out of the earth.  These are the true "interstellar policemen."  Are you ready for contact day?

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*I have always been a Carpenter's fan.  See the Feb. 26, 2010 posting about another Carpenter's song, Goodbye to Love.

THOUGHTS ABOUT LEADERSHIP

Where there is no guidance, a people falls . . . (Proverbs 11:14).

Farm Journal television interviewed Barry Posner, author of a book called, The Truth About Leadership and I happened to watch that interview at five in the morning.  Posner shared four essential qualities for leadership a person must possess if he/she is to lead: 1) To be a leader one must be honest and possess integrity.  A lie is generally not hidden for ever; the truth comes out eventually so that a person's ability to lead is seriously compromised, if not ended.  Politicians are great illustrations of this point.

2) To be a leader one must possess vision.  Where is it that the leader wants to take those who follow?  Much of the time leader want-to-be's do not have followers because they have no clear vision of where they want to go and cannot articulate how to get there.

3) To be a leader one must be inspiring.  This is a quality of leadership that is a gift and not all people possess it to the same degree though most people possess it to some degree.  Charisma, achievement, power, position and relationships are inspirational qualities, but, it seems to me that there is an intangible quality to this quality of leadership.  Charisma might come the closest in describing it, but there are some who are recognized as leaders simply by how they carry themselves with self confidence and personal authority.

4). To be a good leader, one must be competent.  Each of us is a leader to somebody, so each of us has to make the effort to become as knowledgeable and skillful as we can be.  Good leadership does not just happen.  One has to be intentional about becoming the best leader he/she can be because there are many who are watching . . . And if a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit (Matthew 15:14).

5)  Dr Posner did not include this one as necessary for leadership, but the Lord did: . . . and the leader as one who serves (Luke 22:26). Leadership is about love and service.  I have almost no hope that our politicians will ever get it.  They call themselves public servants while enriching themselves in political office, acting like kings and nobles while fleecing the citizens of the United States.  Being a servant is leadership by example, teaching by behavior.

You will lead someone in 2012. Do what it takes to become the best leader you can be.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT: WHAT HEAVEN IS LIKE OR KNOWING THE ONE WHO MADE HEAVEN?

For God sent the Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him (John 3:17).

Recently, I have had occasion to think about heaven more.  I've wondered why God does not tell us more of what heaven will be like--perhaps more people would desire to go there if they had a clearer picture of heaven.  We all want to go to heaven, but if the Lord is getting a bus load up today, maybe we will want to take a later bus.

I was thinking about this as I was reading the Bible this morning and decided that what is really important is not so much the destination, but who one will be with at the destination.  If one is a disciplined reader of the Bible, then one will get a clearer picture of the nature of the Creator, Redeemer, Father, Brother and Friend with whom we will spend eternity.  Anywhere will be Heaven if they are there.  Anywhere will be hell if they are not.

The Christmas story reveals the nature of our God.  I hope you spend this Christmas getting to know the One who truly loves you.

Our Father's Love,
Tom

IS TEBOW A HERO?

For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the son of man also be ashamed, when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels (Mark 8:38).

For my non-American readers, Tim Tebow is a professional football player, quarterback of the Denver, Broncos.  Since Tebow has been elevated to the starting quarterback, the Broncos have won six games in a row, vaulting the team to first place in the western division.  For the Tom Steele family, this has been a wonderful thing because we have been Denver fans since we lived in Colorado--about 35 years.

What has made Tebow such a subject of controversy is that he is a devout Christian and is not afraid to let others know about his faith.  He is not an "arrogant twit" about it, but seems to be the real deal; he is quite refreshing.  Actually, Tebow is not the greatest athlete in the world, but he is a great one and he seems to have this intangible quality about him that is more than leadership, it is about inspiring the players around him to play better than they are otherwise able; Larry Bird is one of the few other professional athletes who had this gift.

The criticism, mocking and shaming that have been directed towards Tebow have not seemed to affect him at all; he still stands firmly for the Lord.  Some have suggested that if real bullets were being shot at Tebow he wouldn't be so brave.  I think just the opposite, standing for the the Lord in spite of the onslaught of very public criticism indicates real courage that would be steady under fire.

What about you?  Do you have the courage to take the stand that Tebow has?

Go Tebow!  Go Broncos!

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

DID JESUS LAUGH OR DOES GOD HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR?

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27).

The short answer is yes, even though the Bible does not speak of Jesus, God become flesh, as laughing. In the New Testament Jesus wept, but it does not say, "Jesus laughed." In the Old Testament it is recorded that God laughs, but it is a laugh of derision, not a belly laugh of humor.  So how can I say that Jesus did laugh and that God does have a sense of humor?  First and foremost, human beings have a sense of humor and laugh.  I believe because human beings are created in the image of God, I infer from that truth that because humans have an innate sense of humor and laugh, then the God who created us in His image, must have a sense of humor and laugh too.  How could we survive in this sinful world without humor?  A lot of humor comes from the shared experience of the struggle of living in this world.

All of us laugh.  If we do not laugh then we are struggling with twisted theology or mental illness because clean joking and laughing are hallmarks of health.  I know that in the world of theology there are those who believe the fall of Adam caused the total depravity and that depravity completely obscures the image of God so that what is seen in the natural man is only depravity; even if a natural person does something apparently good it was from an evil motive.

I believe in original righteousness, not in original sin.  There is no question that the fall of Adam does obscure the image of God in our lives, but not completely.  God's image, original righteousness, does shine through the clouds once in a while and allows people to do noble things, to cheer each other up, and to laugh.  I wonder if when Jesus was eating with sinners or hanging around children he told a joke or two and laughed.  There are some stories in the New Testament that, I believe, cannot be properly interpreted without the humor factor.

It is interesting that hell is described as a place of weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, and it is never said there is laughter there.  In contrast, it is said that in Heaven there are no tears, grief, pain or death, but it does not say laughter will be taken away!  It appears to me that Heaven will be a place where there is lots of love and laughter.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

FEELING TRAPPED?

So they took Jeremiah and cast him into the cistern of Malchia, the king's son, which was in the court of the guard, letting Jeremiah down by ropes.  And there was no water in the cistern, only mire, and Jeremiah sank in the mire (Jeremiah 38:6).

I have been reading through Jeremiah.  For some unknown reason, as I read this verse, I thought about the clients who have spoken of feeling trapped in their marriages, jobs and even their lives.  It's funny how a single verse can trigger such thoughts--humm.

Sometimes being trapped is not one's own fault.  Being trapped can come through simply being faithful, as Jeremiah was a faithful prophet for God.  In those situations, one can, at the very least, have a clear conscience about the situation; it goes a long way toward helping one sleep at night!  Of course, if it is true that one is trapped because he/she was being faithful to God's word, then God will also make a way out; Jeremiah was pulled from the cistern.

Most of the time, feeling trapped and/or being trapped is of our own doing; we make the prisons that imprison us.  I am not blaming here because we all make mistakes and errors in judgement that are not intentional, but, nevertheless, form the bars of our prison cells. It should go without saying that  intentional sins have the same result.

Feeling trapped is hopeless anxiety.  It is the feeling that a situation will never change and there is nothing I can do about it; I have no resources or power to bring about change.  If one believes in the God of the Bible, he/she already has resources to deal with a hopeless situation, even one of our own making.  God is our Redeemer, paying the price for freedom from the prisons in which we find ourselves.

So the place to begin is prayer, asking God's help to see and understand.  Sometimes the prisons in which we find ourselves are not prisons at all, it is just a matter of perspective.  Reframing a situation can make all the difference in the world.  If one can meaning in imprisonment, one can find, not only the strength to persevere, but to flourish.  It can be that those in a literal prison can be the most free people, the apostle Paul being an example, because there is meaning in the imprisonment.

The prisons of addiction are the most difficult to deal with, not only because of the dysfunctional family dynamics that form much of the prison, but because of altered body chemistry and brain dysfunction.  Even with God's help, it is a tough way out.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being changed into his likeness from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit (II Corinthians 3:17-18).

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

CHARACTER FORMATION/SPIRITUAL FORMATION

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being changed into his likeness from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit (II Corinthians 3:17-18).

The goal of character and spiritual formation is Christ-likeness.  It is foolish to think that this can be accomplished by pastors, parents, teachers, counselors, coaches and their methods alone.  Without the dynamic of Holy Spirit, it is futility to think that we can accomplish more than Pavlovian responses from those in our charge.  So, character/spiritual formation has to begin with prayer!

People are more than animals, they are also spiritual beings.  John Rosemond, in an article called, Children, Rats and Mazes, pointed out: . . . the principles that govern the behavior of a rat do not govern the behavior of a human being.  A rat is subject to the force of reward and punishment.  A human is not.  Reward a child for obedience and he is likely to turn right around and disobey the first chance he gets.  Punish a child for misbehaving and the misbehavior may get worse.  This is not because the child carries a gene that makes him impervious to "normal forms of discipline."  It is because of all the species on the planet, only human beings are capable of acting deliberately contrary to their best interests, even when they know where their best interests lie.  While I do not know the faith-perspective of Dr. Rosemond, I do know that what he has said is consistent with Biblical revelation.  I also infer from Dr. Rosemond's quote that external circumstances are not determiners of behavior, only dynamics.  It means that a person has it in his power to act completely different from what powerful family and work dynamics seem to dictate. 

The purpose of spiritual/character formation is not for the glory and convenience of the parents, pastors or life coaches, but it is for the glory of God and the good of those in whom the character of Holy Spirit is to be formed.  It is important to mention this because properly behaving children make life much easier for parents, but good behavior is not for the parent's convenience, it is for the welfare of the children in this life and the life to come.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

COMMUNION MEDITATION FOR THANKSGIVING

. . . and if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire (Revelation 20:15).

On the Saturday night after Thanksgiving, Helen and I were driving home from Kansas after having celebrated the holiday with Helen's side of the family.  Making an effort to keep me awake and knowing I was scheduled to have the Communion meditation the next day, she asked me, "What are you planning for a Communion meditation?"  I said, "I've been thinking about Revelation 20:15," and then I quoted the scripture to her.  I can't remember the exact words Helen used, but she strongly implied that she thought I was being excessively negative.  However, I went ahead and did do the meditation based on that text.

The truth is that the most important blessing that we have for which to give thanks is the pardon and forgiveness we have because of the incarnation, crucifixtion and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ; that is good news!  God has warned us about the wrath to come: . . . Jesus who delivers us from the wrath to come (I Thessalonians 1:10).  Consider also Romans chapter 5 verse 9: Since, therefore, we are now justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 

During the Thanksgiving season we often make an attempt to make a list of things for which we are thankful.  Prominent on that list should be the salvation we have in Christ Jesus because we are able to look to our own coming death with peace and hope because of him!

The wrath of God has been the subject of many theological debates, but what is undebatable is the existence of hell and that people outside the protection of Christ will find that as their destination.  Thankyou, Father, for Jesus Christ.

Our Father's Love,
Tom

CHARACTER FORMATION, NOT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

The following is an interesting quote from a column by Dr. John Rosemond: "The term 'behavior modification' has been a distraction because it implies that the discipline of a child is all about proper behavior.  In fact, the discipline of a child is all about shaping his or her character. Proper behavior will follow of its own accord."*
I will add my own "AMEN" to this, and if I have time, follow up on it later.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*I read this in the http://www.jewishworldreview.com

FOR THE HEAVEN OF IT

And the tongue is a fire.  The tongue is an unrighteous world among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the cycle of nature, and set on fire by hell (James 3:6, emphasis mine).

Sometimes, listening to the tractor radio stimulates my thinking as I work.  Listening to a sports broadcast or call-in show, it is not uncommon to hear it said, "That was a helluva play," or "he's a hell of a coach."  But, if one stops to think about it, those descriptions meant to be complimentary are anything but complimentary.  Hell is a place for those with no positive self-discipline; there is only excellence in evil.  Hell is a place for the destructive.  Hell is a place for the self-centered, there are no team players in hell.  Hell is the capital city of evil, destruction and torment.  I never want it to be said about me, "He's a hell of a guy," though there have been times when that statement would have been true.  Thank you, Jesus, for making it not true!!!

Think about it.  God's people should be the toughest competitors because they can persevere.  They are tough because they are willing to do what it takes to become the best they can be.  More than anybody, God people practice teamwork, working together to bring about success for each member, not just for one's self.  God's team is not a team of individual stars, but a team made up of people who serve each other.  Heaven's team practices teamwork, hell's team is individual stars out for their own glory.

Perhaps it is because there is no single syllable word for Heaven, that Heaven has not achieved the same popularity as hell, but I really believe that the lost really enjoy spitting at God and raising hell, not Heaven.  What team are you part of: Heaven's or hell's?  Your language indicates the team you are cheering for.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

THERE IS NO TEACHING, ONLY LEARNING

This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand (Matthew 13:13).

My wife, the lovely and gracious Helen, is an educator.  She has spoken to me often of the frustrations of teaching children who are unprepared to learn and who do not want to learn.  This is not only true of children, but also of adults.  In a news letter I receive, the author spoke of his frustration with adults who would not accept new concepts of investing.  That frustration prompted him to say, "There is no teaching, only learning."  He went on to say that one must be emotionally prepared to learn before learning can take place.  An old school board member who wanted to keep teachers in their place used to say, 'No teaching has been done if the students haven't learned.'  There is enough truth in it so his premise sounds logical, but the truth is, if one refuses to learn, no teaching can make him learn; "My mind is made up, do not confuse me with the facts."

Is our culture emotionally preparing our children to learn?  If one studies the demographics of our country it will be found that parents are pursuing more self-satisfying lives rather than lives that are in the best interest of their children.  With those kinds of parents, how can children be prepared to learn?  Our problems in education are more of a crisis of culture than any lack of money.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

CHANGE YOUR THINKING, CHANGE YOUR WORLD

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth (Colossians 3:2).

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do (John Wooden, greatest ever basketball coach).

If I remember correctly, the phrase that is used as the title to this blurb is by Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking.

The Bible says much about thinking, the mind and the heart; Colossians 3:2 is only one of many references.  Paul's instruction to us does not have to do with thinking about angels, or what heaven is going to be like, but it to do with thinking about God, what He is like--His nature and His values, and then begin to appropriate them into our lives.  Certainly, God is righteous and His desire is for us to be righteous too.  God is love and His desire is for us to love like He does.  God is all powerful, we are weak but He is strong.  Christians are God's adopted children, and, one of the blessings of being His children is that He gives us what we need when we need it much better than Bomgaars.*

I have said all that to say this, Christians should not be negative thinkers, focusing on matters of the flesh.  A trite example: A week ago Iowa lost to Minnesota in football; I was bummed the whole week until we beat Michigan.  What a silly waste of emotional energy!  I am still an avid Hawkeye fan, but, when the game is over it is over, move on.  The game didn't change the price of corn nor did it solve the economic crisis.

Positive thinking begins by trusting God and who He is.  God has not created His children to be exactly alike, but He is Father to each of them.  At no time should we think negatively and believe that we cannot have a significant impact in the world because we are not talented, or we do not have money--we have God as our Father who can do all things beyond what we can even dream (See Ephesians 3:14-21).  Do not think negatively and allow lack of money or lack of talent to keep you from doing what you can do!

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*Bomgaars is a small chain of stores in the upper Midwestern United States with the slogan, "What you need, When you need it."

HABITS OF THE HEART

You have heard that it was said to the men of old, 'You shall not kill, and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.'  But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgement . . . (Matthew 5:21-22).

This guy was in a counseling session when he told his therapist about an incident that happened the previous week.  He said he was out for his daily walk, as the therapist had instructed him to do, when he came to a thorny thistle patch.  He took off all his clothes and rolled around in the thistle patch naked.  The therapist asked the man why he would do such a thing.  The man replied, "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

Though the story is fiction, yet there are many who roll around in that proverbial "thistle patch" because they cultivated emotions and thoughts that, nurtured long enough over time, resulted in painful and destructive behaviors that "seemed like a good idea at the time."  That is why Jesus went to the root of negative and destructive behaviors, our thought and emotional lives, and condemned the nurture of them.  One cannot stop a thought from coming into his mind, but he can refuse to nurture negative thoughts and emotions by thinking and doing positive things.

Have you let your heart fall into the habit of negative thinking?  Do you nurture negative emotions?  Perhaps you could plant and nurture the positive by resolving to read and meditate on God's Word each day, choosing to be a happy person in spite of being surrounded by sin and negativity.  There are a lot of depressing things happening in the world, and there will always be until the Lord returns, so, choose not to participate in the depression by developing positive habits of the heart.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

FAITH IS . . .

There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of us all, who is above all and through all and in all (Ephesians 4:4-6).

Though there are seven unities listed in this text, I am only emphasising the one faith.  There is essential material that must be believed if a person is to be called a Christian.  Essential to the Christian faith is belief in the testimony of the four evangelists, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.  Faith is the belief of credible testimony.  Belief of incredible testimony is credulity, believing too easily.  God does not expect us to believe incredible testimony, but he does expect us to believe testimony that is credible, and he has supplied us with much testimony that has all the evidences of credibility.

Belief of testimony is not faith if it does not result in obedience to Christ as Lord, and no trust in him as Savior.  It was the mission of the apostle Paul, and every other Christian evangelist to call all peoples to . . . the obedience that comes from faith (Romans 1:5).  If belief is truly faith then life-change is a foregone conclusion.  One will love what Jesus loves and will hate what Jesus hates.  He/she will invest in what the Lord is invested and make sacrifices like the Lord sacrificed.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

COMMUNION MEDITATION FROM THE BOOK OF JUDGES

In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes (Judges 21:25).

I just finished reading the book of Judges for my own personal Bible study.  Judges is one of the books of Hebrew history in the Bible, but as I was reading it I found myself asking the Lord to help me make something of it--to make sense of what it means because the images of homosexual practice, rape, murder, a war that killed many thousands, etc., was not inspirational to me.  What follows is what the Lord helped me to understand.

About four times in the book of Judges the theme is repeated, 'there was no king in Israel.'  Why did they need a king?  They had the Law.  And, if they had the Law, they did have a king who was the Law-giver, Jehovah God.  When the Israelites were asking for a king to lead them, Samuel told them, "the Lord God was your king" (I Samuel 12:12b).  What is clear is that they did not want God for their king.  The Israelites disregarded the priesthood and the Law and, as a nation, sank to the lowest depths of depravity.  It is interesting to note that the people of Jesus' day did not want a king from Heaven either. Jesus told them, "My kingship is not of this world" (John 18:36). The Jews of Jesus' time were like those of the Judges, they wanted a king from earth, not of Heaven, and, as a result, crucified Jesus on a cross.

The Lord's Supper, the Eucharist, communion reminds us that Jesus is the King sent from Heaven, but rather than rejecting him, we renew our commitment to him.*

Our Father's Love,
Tom

*Often what I write needs some refinement in expression, but I think the broad outline is sound.  Communion is a time for recommitting our lives to King Jesus.

CONTENTEDLY DISCONTENT OR DISCONTENTEDLY CONTENT?

Not that I complain of want; for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content (Philippians 4:11).

Perhaps the real secret of contentment is found more in the context of Philippians 4:11 than in the verse itself, except to say, contentment is something that needs learned.  In that I hope this post helps.

Discontentment is not a good thing because it is what makes people over spend which leads people to over work, over play, over stress, cheat, steal, lie and murder.  It is as the Bible says, "The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil" (I Timothy 6:10).  Hebrews 13:5 gives us a little more insight into contentment: "Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have: for he has said, 'I will never fail you nor forsake you.' "  In almost every case, when contentment is spoken of in the Bible it is in the context of money and material wealth.  Thinking in this way, contentment is rooted in faith, trusting God, our loving Father in Heaven, to make provision for us.  This does not mean that we are to stop working, but it does mean that God will provide the means for His children to have a job and make a living.  So, will we trust God or not?

In the dictionary contentment and satisfaction are said to be synonymous, in other words, they mean the same thing.  If one is content, or satisfied, there might be a tendency to relax and think there is no need to compete, to achieve excellence, or at least to become the best that we can be.  To think that way is to misunderstand Biblical contentment.  Contentment is rooted in faith and it grows in gratitude, taking time to recognize the many blessings God has already given us.  One of the greatest means of achieving contentment is to count your blessings, intentionally becoming aware of what God has already blessed you with.  Because we are His children and His servants, His commands and His blessings spur us on to greater achievement, making the most of what He has given us.  Certainly, God is not honored when we bury our blessings and contentedly sit on them.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

PS.  We all have a little materialism in us, the idea that if I just had enough money my problems would be solved.  When we do not have enough money is when discontentment enters the picture.  The truth is that there will never be enough money to solve our problems because very few of our problems are really money problems and money will not solve non-money problems.  The One who can really solve your problems is where to begin--person, church or state.

THE VIRTUE OF ACCUMULATING WEALTH

Wealth and riches are in his house; and his righteousness endures forever (Psalms 112:3).

As much negative as the Bible has to say about material wealth and riches, one would think that there is no virtue in accumulating it.  First Timothy 6:9 has this to say, But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and hurtful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction.  So, it is true that the accumulation of material wealth cannot be the first priority of one who is committed to Christ, but the earning of material wealth is an absolute necessity.  Consider these texts: If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (I Timothy 5:8); For even when we were with you we gave you this command: If anyone will not work, let him not eat (II Thessalonians 3:10).  This was standard Hebrew teaching, every little Jewish boy was taught these work ethics as he grew up--generally, the gentiles were not so blessed.

When a person lives up to his responsibility to God, his family and his community, wealth almost always accumulates: A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich (Proverbs 10:4).*
When a person diligently works at honest labor, spending less that he or she makes, over the years a small fortune will accumulate (Some of the things we need to teach our children about money are: 1. Debt is expensive; 2. The power of compound interest.)  Generally, those who try all the get-rich-quick schemes end up in their own personal poverty.

Because of the tendency for material wealth to accumulate when a person is living up to his responsibilities it is easy to make an erroneous assumption, that material wealth, in itself, is a sign of righteousness and salvation because material wealth is a sign of God's blessing.  When Jesus said, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God,"  the disciples were exceedingly astonished and they asked, "Then who can be saved?" (Mark 10:25-26).  To the disciples, material wealth was a sign of God's approval on a person's life. When the Lord asked the question, "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?" he made it crystal clear that the accumulation of material wealth has little to do with salvation so one should not make accumulating wealth the purpose of his life!!!

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

*Where the government allows lawlessness to exist, or the government, itself, is corrupt then the opportunity to accumulate material wealth is severely reduced!

GIVING IS GOOD FOR YOU

And he said to them, "The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath" (Mark 2:27).

But he answered, "It is written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God' " (Matthew 4:4).

Jesus countered the hyper legalistic critics of his time by telling them that the institution of the sabbath was to bless humanity, not to hinder it.  While I am not "Lord of the sabbath" like Jesus was, I believe that this principle could be applied to other areas of faith as well, in this case, giving.

It is strange that those who emphasize grace and Holy Spirit the most are the ones who are some of the most legalistic about money--at a minimum one must give 10% of his gross income, not his net income.  Often pastoral sermons on stewardship will speak of money as the Christian's treasure.  The thinking is that if one gives his treasure to the Lord, his heart will follow it.  Such theology is purely materialistic and thus undermines and distorts the message of Christ.  Often such pastoral sermons will lament what the church isn't doing because the church does not have the funding.  That is the problem with materialistic theology, it makes finances the determining factor on what can or cannot be done by the church.  When materialism is emphasized, there is always a shortage of money, whether it be in the church or the state.

All this begs the question: Does God need our money to accomplish His purposes?  If God does need our money, then He is not God.  Just as God can 'raise up children of Abraham out of the stones,' so God can raise up givers of money to accomplish His purposes--if He wants to use financial means to accomplish them.  I believe one of the reasons the Lord wants us to give is to increase our faith and trust in Him.  If we give that which is necessary to physical life to Him, how will we be sustained but by Him?  As we rely on Him more and more, we will find riches that money cannot buy--giving is good for us!

The truth is that man, or churches, or states, do not live by bread alone!  Those who do believe in life by bread alone are always in poverty.  If Jesus Christ is our treasure, if we are led by His Spirit, then the money will follow where He leads.  If it seems that the lack of money is the biggest obstacle in your life, or church life, then a radical reassessment of one's relationship with Christ needs to be done.

Finally, if one is not giving his money, and his time and talents, to Jesus Christ, he needs to do a radical assessment of his relationship to Christ too!  The truth is that all you have follows your heart--if Jesus has your heart, He has your money.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

OUR RESPONSE TO GOD

Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless his holy name!  Bless the Lord, O my soul and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good as long as you live so that your youth is renewed like the eagles (Psalm 103:1-5).

When you think of all that God has done for you, do you not feel like you owe something to Him?  Is there something you could give Him in return?  Your heart?  If God truly has our hearts, He has everything else!

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

KEEPING YOUR VISION

If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell (Matthew 5:29-30).

While my minister was preaching on this text, an old saying came to mind: "It is better to lose your sight than to lose your vision."  Rather than being led by the flesh, which dulls the vision, the one who is led by the Spirit has a vision of doing what does not seem possible.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

THOUGHTS ABOUT WEALTH

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment (I Timothy 6:17).

The term wealth comes to us from an old Anglo-Saxon word, weal.  When one was in weal, he was in a state of well being resulting from being in a state of prosperity.  Thinking about this definition, I thought, "Is it possible for a person to be rich and not be wealthy?"  A rich person cannot buy his salvation with money; Jesus asked the question, "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?"  Even though a rich person might be able to extend his physical life many years because of his riches, the truth is one day death will come calling; human beings know that they will die.  What then?  Many times, in the homes of the rich, there is no love or peace.

We have a rich Father, trusting in Him we are provided with that feeling of well-being even though we might have little in terms of material abundance.  During my growing-up years my family was poor.  While we were living through those times of poverty, admittedly, there was pain.  But, looking back, I treasure my growing up years.  We had a good family and we have great memories.  God did richly provide for us during those years.  It was something that money alone cannot buy--we were wealthy even though we were poor.

Are you wealthy or are you just rich?

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

WHY I AM A CHRISTIAN

And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile . . . But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep (I Corinthians 15:17&20).

The bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead is a historical truth.  Following the rules of evidence, the resurrection of Christ is established as a historical fact.  That is why I am a Christian.  I am not a Christian because it makes be feel better.  I am not a Christian because of the social relationships in the church.  I am not a Christian because of the do-gooding opportunities in the church.  I am a Christian because Jesus Christ has risen!

Christ's resurrection means that the Bible is God's word and thus its words are true.  Therefore, we ought to pay attention to the Bible.  The resurrection of Christ means that we have not seen the last of our loved ones who are in Christ--we will see them again!  The resurrection of Christ means that God has the last word!  No matter how good of a lawyer you might have, God has the last word!

I enjoy church, but that is not why I am a Christian.  I am a Christian because of the resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth--love, hope, joy and peace follow the resurrection.

 Our Father's Blessings
Tom

A PASTORAL PRAYER

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks , the door will be opened (Matthew 7:8).

Father in Heaven, may we keep your name holy always.

Father, we ask you for faith; we believe, but in difficult times our faith wavers, help our unbelief.  We know that without faith it is impossible to please you.

Father, we ask you for love so that we can recognize the needs of those around us and be truly compassionate towards those in need.

Father, we ask you for wisdom so that we might deal with difficult problems in a way that pleases you; so that we can know when show tough love rather than being enablers.

Father, we ask you for courage so that we will take a stand and live for your truth.  We are often tempted to take the easy way out rather than stand for what is right.

Father, we ask for strength so that we might persevere and not faint as we face the continual onslaught of the evil one.

Father, we ask for pardon and forgiveness because of Jesus' sacrifice for us.  We have sinned and we cling to Jesus as our only hope for eternity.  In His name we pray, Amen.

Our Father's Love,
Tom 

CONCESSION TO HARD HEARTS: POLYGAMY

If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights (Exodus 21:10).

Over the course of my ministry I have been asked several times about the men of God in the Old Testament who had more than one wife.  There are some, who believe that these men were living in adultery because they had more than one wife.  However, no where in the Bible does it say that having more than one wife is sinful.  Rather, like divorce, the Scripture actually gives one the idea that polygamy is remedial, levirate marriage being one example.  Levirate marriage is spoken of in Deuteronomy 25: 5-10 when a man is to marry his deceased brother's wife, regardless of his marital status, so that there can be children to carry on the brother's name.  Jesus recognizes the truth of this law in Matthew 22: 23-32.

It appears that polygamy was a better remedy for marital strife than divorce because when a man divorces his wife to marry another he commits adultery.  When a man marries another, according to Old Testament law, he is not released from his responsibility to his first wife.  Real men stand up and take responsibility for their relationships.

In the New Testament, it is never said that polygamy is a sin either, but it does say that church leaders are to be the husband of one wife and they are to parent their households well.  I believe the reason for this is that the ideal marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church, and church leaders are to live that picture out in their lives (Ephesians 5: 25-29).

Is polygamy sinful today?  Well, it is against the civil law of the United States.  Modern marriage ceremonies have the couple vow that they will forsake all others, so to have another wife is to forsake the vow, which is adultery.  Depending on the situation, when a man has an affair and his wife has come to me for counseling I ask her, "Do you want to be one of his harem?  That wasn't part of your marriage covenant."  Some will go along with being one of the harem.

I believe that God's plan is one man married to one woman for a life time.  There is nothing more romantic than a man and a woman working together, supporting each other to achieve their goals, dreams and purpose.  Because of hard and sinful hearts and difficult circumstances there were remedies for the civil governance of society, polygamy being one of them.  The best remedy is the changing of hearts, but if there can be no change of heart then law has to bring some kind of order out of disorder.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

CONCESSION TO HARD HEARTS: DIVORCE

"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied.  But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'  'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh.'  So they are no longer two, but one.  Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate . . . Any one who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.  And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." (Mark 10: 5-12 NIV)

While doing my daily Bible reading, I was reading from Mark 10 about Jesus' teaching on divorce and it struck me that Mark's gospel account is the most concise and readily understood, certainly being consistent, however, with the other teachings of Scripture about divorce.  It is in the divorcing to marry another that adultery is committed.  (Adultery is forsaking, disregarding, the vow.  Because we have sex on the brain, we think adultery only has to do with sex.)

The Mosaic law on divorce was intended to be remedial.  The options for any woman in ancient times were extremely limited.  Certainly, there were beautiful and talented women who were leaders and business women, but they were an extreme minority.  The options for a discarded woman was even more limited; cast out of her household, what was she to do?  She couldn't even marry because, technically, she was still married.  It was understood that the Mosaic law on divorce made it possible for the marriage to be ended so that the wife could legally marry again (Deuteronomy 24:2), having the option of marriage rather than resorting to immorality to sustain herself.  The option for divorce was not part of God's plan for marriage, but it was intended to be a practical remedy for those with sinful hearts.  One of the interesting facets of the Biblical teaching on divorce is that God views remarriage to the first partner to be an abomination if there has been a subsequent marriage (Deuteronomy 24:3-4).

According to the Department of Health and Human Services, more than Seventy percent of divorces are initiated by women.  These days women have a lot more options so they are much less dependent, plus the fact that the hearts of women are fully as hard as men's.  Another statistic indicative of that fact according to DHHS is that fully two thirds of child abuse is initiated by the biological mother. Given the Casey Anthony case, I'm not surprised.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom