I have the honor of officiating a wedding in a couple of weeks. My wife is gone for a few days so I thought I would take this opportunity, while the house is quiet, to write notes for the ceremony.
Dear friends, family and loved ones. We are gathered here to witness the marriage commitment of _________ and___________ which they will pledge to each other. It is significant that all who witness this marriage covenant are people who love and including the One who loves them most of all--God, our Father, the author of marriage.
Who gives this woman to be married to this man?
I. Marriage is a mutual commitment--an unreserved commitment that cuts the ties of childhood. The Bible says that a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. One of the characteristics of emotional maturity is leaving home. Leaving home is not moving a thousand miles away, it is the ability to live responsibly without reference to mom, dad, brothers and sisters. In marriage that means the spouse comes first. The Bible says, 'When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things ( I Cor. 13: 11).
The seeds of destruction are found in every relationship. Even though a couple seems to be compatible in every way, compatibility is not a guarantee of a successful marriage. The seeds of destruction must be weeded out when they begin to sprout and grow. Weeds are recognized by how they contrast with the crop. Love is the crop, the atmosphere, of marriage. What is inconsistent with love is weeds. In the Bible love is defined this way: "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in the wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never ends . . . (I Cor. 13:4-8). Having a loving heart is essential to a successful marriage. Loves greatest example is Christ Jesus, who died for our sins. "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it" (Eph. 5:25).
II. Marriage is to be companionship. Companionship is to be present with. Companionship is shared interests, values and attitudes. It is meeting the joys and struggles of life together!
III. Marriage is coalescence (welding together) The two becoming one flesh. As children come, your love for each other is more important to them than anything else--it is their greatest security.
If the vows which you are about to make be kept faithfully then the sunset days of your life together will be even more radiant and lovely than these dawning days. Please join your right hands if you will accept these ties and vows.
Will you, , have this woman, , whose hand you hold, to be your wife, and promise her that you will loyally fulfill your obligations as her husband to protect her, honor her, love her, and cherish her in adversity as well as prosperity, and so you promise to keep yourself unto her alone so long as you both shall live?
Will you, , have this man, , whose hand you hold, to be your husband and solemnly promise that you will be unto him a tender, loving and true wife, through sunshine and shadow alike, and do you promise to be faithful to him alone so long as you both shall live?
_________will you repeat after me your promises for ________? I ________ from this day forward, take you to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband)/ to have and to hold, / for better or for worse/ for richer or for poorer/ in sickness, and in health/ till death shall part us.
Rings:
______________What token do you wish to give each other which will be symbolic of your sacred promise? These symbols are good because they will remind you of the promises you have made to each other when you are apart. Gold, a precious metal, represents the preciousness of your relationship. That it is a ring reminds that this relationship is to be endless unless broken by death.
Man: you may take this ring and put it on the wedding finger of and say to her these words: I, , give this ring to you, , and by this act declare/ that I take you to be my beloved wife/ that I will be to you a faithful husband/ until death shall part us.
Woman: you may take this ring and put it on the wedding finger of and say to him these words: I, , give this ring to you, ,/ and thus declare that you are the husband of my choice/ that I will be faithful to you until death shall part us.
BENEDICTION AND FINAL STATEMENT:
As much as you, _______ and _________ have openly declared your wishes to be united in marriage, and in the presence of God and these witnesses have pledged love and fidelity to each other, I pronounce that you are husband and wife. Ladies and gentleman, may I introduce to you for the first time Mr. and Mrs. __________________.
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