NARCISSISM: SELF-ESTEEM GONE TO SEED

For by the grace given to me I bid every one among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think . . . (Romans 12:3).

Whether it is an over emphasis on self-esteem, or a misunderstanding of how to deal with low self-esteem, it certainly seems like we are raising more and more narcissistic and self-centered people.  Personal peace, happiness and prosperity are our chief values.  We tend to be, in our culture, more "I" centered than "we" centered.  Even among so-called low self-esteem people there are many times when they think, "rules are for other people, they do not apply to me."  As a result, there is a lot of out-of-control behavior by low self-esteem people.  Yes, low self-esteem people can be narcissistic.

What this means is that low self-esteem people are not always low self-esteem people.  It just means that, more often than not, they seem to be low self-esteem.  Low self-esteem is situation specific, it is not a constant.  At work one may act with great confidence and competence while in her social life she might be a blushing, stumbling "wall flower."  One of the tasks of the low self-esteemers is to identify the competencies they have and the beliefs they have that enable them to act in self-accepting ways, and try to strengthen them and expand them.

The opposite of low self-esteem is not self-centeredness, or narcissism, it is being comfortable with one's self and becoming what God created us to be.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom