GENTLE MAN OR WILD MAN?

And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit . . . (Ephesians 6:17).

And Jonathan said to the young man who bore his armor, "Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised; it may be that the Lord will work for us; for nothing can hinder the Lord from saving by many or by few" (I Samuel 14:6). Read the whole story of this "wild man" who was also gentle.

A Christmas present from my son-in-law, Kirk, was a book called, Why Men Hate Going to Church, by David Murrow. It was an enjoyable read and I think it made some important points about masculinity. One of them was this, Christianity was never intended as an antidote to masculinity. As is the case with both males and females, Christianity was never intended to cancel out either masculinity or femininity. I believe there will be genders in heaven! Certainly, Christianity was not intended to make us into a neutral gender. Boys naturally tend to be more rough and tumble, willing to take chances than girls. It seems as if, not only in the church, but in our educational systems, we are more focused on neutering boys than civilizing them. The difference between neutering and civilizing is teaching boys to become men of faith who reject passivity, accept responsibility and lead courageously rather than just to become compliant.

Murrow also asked the question, What if Christ turns him into wild man instead of a gentle man? True faith changes our lives. One encounters true masculinity or femininity by faith in Christ. Faith in Christ is the first step to the true you! So, come on guys, pick up the sword, we have a battle to fight!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH HELL . . .

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth should change though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult (Psalms 46:1-3).

Winston Churchill is said to have said, If you are going through hell, keep on going. We* did. On the return trip from California we lost our air conditioning in Bakersfield. It was 4:30 in the afternoon and 105 degrees. Our goal was to make it to Las Vegas before we quit for the night. So we opened the rear vent windows in our Chrysler minivan and headed for the Mohave desert where the temperature rose to 114 degrees. The hot dry air dried my eyes out. Though Helen and I made sure that we had plenty of water and ice, we couldn't keep cool. Sin City (Las Vegas) was never a more welcome sight as we arrived there. It was still 105 degrees at 9 in the evening. Next morning I called a technician who thought he found the source of the problem, but the needed parts could not be obtained. So, at about noon with the temp well over 100 we pushed on. Finally in the mountains of Utah we saw the temperature fall to under 9o and the air coming in the vents felt like air conditioning. It was cooler in Grand Junction, Colorado where we spent the night and visited friends the next morning. At about noon the next day we continued our journey home, stopping for lunch at Rifle, Colorado, where I served as pastor of the Christian Church and where our beautiful daughter, Rebecca was born. When we reach Vailed, Colorado, we encountered rain and much cooler temps, in the 50's, and a little rain. The elevation at Vail pass is over 10,000 feet. At the Eisenhower tunnel, elevation almost 12,000 feet, the temperature had dropped to 37 degrees and there was heavy rain, ice and snow. What made this dangerous was that the malfunctioning of the air conditioning would not allow the heater to work either. The windshield fogged over. I used paper towels to keep it clear as I could. I followed a slow truck down the mountain. Helen and the kids were wrapped in blankets, but I needed none, being too busy keeping things under control. By the time we reached Denver we were doing well and it was a cool and uneventful trip on home.

Churchill's quote came to my mind in the Mohave desert. When one is going through hell, there are not too many options but to keep on going. Churchill knew something of going through hell, suffering with severe bouts of depression** his entire adult life. He could never rid himself of the "black dog," as he called it, yet look at what he accomplished as an author and his life of public service. He did not allow the "black dog" to be his excuse!

What also must be said about going through hell is that the hells we suffer on this earth are only mini hells compared to the great hell.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Tom, Helen and our grandchildren, Alex and Samantha.

**Actually, Churchill suffered from what we know now as bipolar disorder, suffering bouts of deep depression and then great bursts of energy without losing touch with reality.

EVEN BIBLE TRIVIA IS IMPORTANT

He said: (Job 3:2 NIV).

Jesus wept (John 11:35 NIV).

. . . the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (II Timothy 3:15b-17 NIV).

While visiting in California, a jail chaplain pointed out to me--no, I wasn't in jail--that the shortest verse in the Bible is Job 3:2, not John 11:35. I was surprised by this. I guess that I need to read my Bible more carefully! But, this bit of trivia reminded me that there really is no trivia in the Bible. In context, every word is important, being inspired by God and teaching us lessons for this life and the life to come. Because of his great losses Job was driven to the depths of despair. It is important to know what "he said." Though Job said many important things, I think the most important is found in 42:5 when he said at the end, "My ears have heard of you but now my eyes have seen you." Job helps us to understand that for faith to be real it must be tested! Will an untested faith bring us into the presence of the Creator?

In both Job 3:2 and John 11:35 the emotion is intense. The emotion of Job is easily understood; the emotion of Jesus is not. Countless opinions have been expressed, my view being that the One who knows when a bird falls from the air and who has the hairs on our heads numbered shares in our emotions too. There is sorrow in life. God did not insulate himself from it--he feels with you, "Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, 'see how he loved him'" (John 11:35-36).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

A HISTORY LESSON*

Now these things happened to them as a warning, but they were written down for our instruction, upon whom the end of the ages has come (I Corinthians 10:11).

It has often been said that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Why is it then that there are so few that learn from history? As a counselor, I know that people with problems very often do not learn the right lessons from their own experience and need someone to help them interpret their own experiences so that positive course corrections can be made in their lives. Unless the right changes are made, all other changes are in vain.

Another reason history is so often repeated is that there is a class of people who think of the past as something to be out grown, not to learn from. To them, with the advances of our age, affluence, science, technology and medical treatments, the past seems so irrelevant. To them the new priest or pastor is a technician wearing a lab coat.

The truth is, history cannot be safely ignored or discarded! The Lord says that in the time when people are saying peace and safety, look out or sudden destruction will come upon them! When people say, "There is peace and security," then sudden destruction will come upon them as travail comes upon a woman with child, and there will be no escape (I Thessalonians 5:3). We will never out grow the lessons of history--past or future (I was just thinking about the lessons of prophecy too, but that is another lesson).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Completely rewritten from an earlier post.

**I will be away from the computer for a couple of weeks. Do not be discouraged, I shall return if the Lord is willing.

IT IS FREEDOM DAY!

Once when Jacob was boiling pottage, Esau came in from the field, and he was famished. And Esau said to Jacob, "Let me eat some of that red pottage, for I am famished" . . . Jacob said, "First sell me your birthright." Esau said, "I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?" Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentils, and he ate and drank, and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright (Genesis 25:29-34).

And proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants (Leviticus 25:10).

Freedom is our heritage. It is easy to take it for granted when it is possessed, but when it is gone, it might not ever be possessed again even if it is sought with blood, sweat and tears. Freedom is the absence of arbitrary control. Our founding fathers pledged their lives, fortunes and sacred honor, not to free us from law, but to free us from the whims of unrepresentative government; "czars" and bureaucrats. A very large portion of the world's people suffers abuse and/or sheer terror at the hands of arbitrary government. I thank God for the wisdom and the personal sacrifices of our fathers and for each one who has given his or her life to preserve our liberty!

My greatest concern for America is that we are trading our birthright of freedom for a bowl of government promises. If we turn over our freedom, the government will give us everything from cradle to grave. It is like the temptation of Christ, the devil says, 'worship me and I will give you everything," trading our freedom for the promise of security is a deal with the devil! We will have lost our freedom and will be left with poverty. As it has always been, the political elites will live in luxury while the rest of us live in misery!

Be responsible, take a risk and stand for freedom!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

GOD'S POLITICS*

A wise man's heart inclines him toward the right, but a fool's heart toward the left (Ecclesiastes 10:2).

Actually, God's place in politics is above what is thought of left and right today. If the political left and the political right are pushed to their extremes, they meet out back somewhere making as bed fellows.

That God is involved politics is without question. The Bible clearly indicates that God is, in ways we do not always perceive, involved in the forming of nations and the decline of nations so that we would seek him (Acts 17:26).

I do believe that God's politics are conservative because, as Margaret Thatcher, former Prime Minister of Britain is said to have said, 'The facts of life are conservative.' The Lord concurred when he said to Jeremiah, "Thus says the Lord, Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls" (Jeremiah 6:16). When traditional values are violated there will be national trouble!!!

Conservatives are the brakeman of the national train. They are criticized because it seems like the only word they can say is no. But understand, no is a good word. It is a word that adults say to children for their education and protection. It is a word that law-abiding people say to the lawless and childish for the sake of an orderly society. And finally, no is a word that has to be said to the government so that the rights of each person can be preserved. No is a very good word!!!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

EMPATHY, COMPASSION, SYMPATHY, PITY (part 2)

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to "suffer with" (literal translation) our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are . . . (Hebrews 4:15).

Jesus did not call us to be sympathetic and pity the lost, rather he called us to be empathetic and be compassionate to the lost. Pit is the expression of sympathy and compassion is the expression of empathy. Jesus is the example of empathy and compassion. He made a decision to enter into human flesh and suffer what every human being suffers. No longer can anyone complain, "God! You do not understand what it is like to be me," because God does understand--he knows what it is like to be you. God made the supreme effort to come into understanding distance of you and me in Jesus Christ!!!

Pity is commiserating with the hurting one, agreeing that one should feel as he or she does. A common example of this is when a child falls and bumps his head. Mother comes running and says, "Poor dear!" "Poor dear!" and the child cries harder than before. Mom, in her pity, has just increased the emotional reaction of the child, making the problem worse.

Compassion is the expression of the understanding that comes with empathy. Perhaps complete understanding of feelings and problems of another can never be attained, but we are all more alike than we are different. There is a great deal of common experience and feeling among all people. So, when the child of a compassionate parent falls, there is concern because dad or mom knows it hurts, "been there and done that." They observe and ask questions for indications of possible injury. Finding none they say, "You will be alright. This kiss will make it feel better.. Now go and play." This expression of empathy/compassion is much more likely to help the child cope with the realities of life than the expression of sympathy/pity.

Taking the time to come into understanding distance is the greatest gift we can give to another; that is compassion. God knows, it isn't easy, but it is in this way that we will have the greatest possibility of helping others.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*I think it must be emphasised that having the same feeling as the hurting one does not result in understanding when it is emotionally driven. The intensity of the emotion itself prevents one from seeing the "whole picture."

EMPATHY, COMPASSION, SYMPATHY, PITY*

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; pray therefore the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest" (Matthew 9:36-37).

Not all that is called empathy is empathy. Even professionals confuse empathy and sympathy, sometimes intentionally I think, politicians being the worst offenders. Confusing sympathy and empathy can have severe consequences so it is essential to be able to tell the difference. Sympathetic counsel almost always results in freezing the problem in place, if not making it worse. While empathy alone is not the "silver bullet" that heals all problems, it is foundational to problem solving and healing because in empathy one reaches an understanding of the person with the problem.

Sympathy seems to come to human beings fairly naturally, but empathy is a skill that needs to be learned and developed. Some people seem to be more naturally inclined towards empathy than others, but the skill can be developed in most people through the example of a role model, education and training.

A classic definition of sympathy is sameness of feeling--"I feel your pain." A classic definition of empathy is the power to enter into the feeling of another resulting in understanding. In other words, empathy is the decision to come into understanding distance of another by entering into their pain. Sympathy is completely an emotional experience while empathy is decision to enter into the world of another to gain understanding and with understanding one is more likely to bring about solutions and healing. (To be continued)

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post

FINANCIAL ADULTERY*

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also (Matthew 6:21).

A person's bank statements are a record of one's true values. Do you suppose God has a direct line to the local bank's records? In any case, Jesus taught that where a person's money is spent is where the heart is. If one spends his money on heaven, his heart will be there too.

Financial problems are the leading factor involved in divorce. In most cases it isn't that there isn't sufficient money, but it is that there isn't sufficient money to satisfy competing values. Of course, there is never enough money to satisfy our wants, but there is enough to satisfy our needs.

When couples marry, they promise faithfulness to one another, but if one of the partners spends money in disregard of the other, thinking only of personal desires, that is what I call, Financial Adultery. The way the money is being spent indicates where the heart is--it is not in the marriage, if fact, it undercuts the stability of the marriage. Financial infidelity is just as serious a breach of trust as an affair.

I have said all this to introduce a quote from Dr. Val Farmer, a psychotherapist and columnist in a weekly area farm paper I used to receive, Complete trust about money is about as basic to a relationship as is sexual and emotional loyalty. Financial unfaithfulness in a marriage is just as destructive to a marriage as any other kind of unfaithfulness. Of course, just as an affair doesn't have to mean the end of a marriage, financial infidelity doesn't have to end it either, but the recovering of trust can be just as difficult.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.
**I will be a dorm dad to about 35 boys for the next week, so be patient about receiving a new post.

THE NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE 5*

But when the time had fully come, God sent forth his Son, born of a woman . . . (Galatians 4:4).

God is the ultimate non-anxious presence. From the first promise of a Savior, as announced in Genesis 3:15, until the birth of Jesus was no less than four thousand years. Over those many years there were countless prayers for God's intervention to deal with the problems of his people. In some cases he did intervene in miraculous fashion, but always intervening according to his covenants. It is according to his purposes that God intervenes in the lives of humanity--he is not emotionally driven to do something because someone might not believe in him. The Bible very clearly says that God had a plan for us, before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). Before the creation, God had a plan for those whom he would create, so when the time was right, he sent forth his Son.

God does not use quick fixes to meet our whims and make us feel better. God takes the long view toward bringing about healing. God does not ordinarily "zap" us with a cure. He is willing to spend what ever it takes to bring about true healing for us. God will not give to us that which costs him nothing. The great salvation that we enjoy was bought and paid for by our Lord Jesus Christ. Oh how we have been blessed by God's non-anxious presence!!!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from a previous post and, thank God, the last in the series!

THE NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE 4*

For as the earth brings forth its shoots, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations (Isaiah 61:11).

One of the necessary characteristics of a leader is non-anxious presence. In the midst of conflict, chaos, tragedy and sorrow a leader will keep it together when everyone else has come apart. Does that mean that a good leader is emotionless? A thousand times, no! A leader weeps with those who weep! She rejoices with those who rejoice! He is shocked by immorality! Non-anxious presence is not emotionless, but it is the appropriate display of the emotions in a given situation. Those who do not display their emotions could be the most anxious of all because they are likely to be afraid of allowing someone else to see into their heart.

To be a non-anxious presence is to model God's presence. Do you know who you are? Do you know what you believe and act consistently with your beliefs in spite of opposing pressure? Does your presence inspire love, righteousness and praise to God? These are some of the qualities of a non-anxious presence.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.

NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE 3*

How long, O Lord? Wilt thou forget me for ever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all the day? (Psalms 13:1-2).*

By his wounds you have been healed (I Peter 2:2-4).

Is it our expectation of God to be to us a genie to grant our wishes? Should we be able to bring our requests to God, and to quote a great American philosopher, "boom"** we have what we want? If we do not get what we want, what is the use in trusting God? For what reason should we worship him? We tend to be pragmatic; if it works, do it. If it doesn't work, forgetaboutit!!

What is interesting to me is that God never worries that some one will not believe in him because he does not grant their request. God goes about his business according to his nature and according to his covenant, working out what is right and best for us. What is right and best for us may not square with what we think is right and best for us. We are frustrated when our pain is not relieved, when we feel like God isn't around.

What I want you to remember is that God is the great physician; he is not the great magician. It is not wrong to bring all our our requests to God! He who has the hairs on your head numbered is very interested in you and will give to you just as a responsible and loving earthly father gives to his children. He will not, however, be your "magic man" to satisfy your every whim, but he will grant to you what is best.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Our loving Heavenly Father does not feel threatened by our requests and emotions. One of the reasons I believe that the Bible is the word of God is because it is so true to life--it allows the full range of human emotion even if it is directed against him.

**John Madden.

THE NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE 2*

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy (Psalms 126:5).

Problems are not solved until we attack them as intelligent beings. We suffer in our attempt to escape this obvious fact. Wailing about diphtheria for centuries got us nowhere. Robert Koch began to grow bacteria on his wife's kitchen stove. The end was diphtheria antitoxin, and diphtheria has been practically wiped off the face of the earth. Perhaps this was the answer to centuries of prayer. My father, a very devout man, believed a striving to the limit in a worthy cause constituted the most eloquent form of prayer (Arthur E. Hertzler, MD).

I know a psychologist who understands non-anxious presence. His practice is to not speak until his client speaks to him. A client came for an appointment and didn't say anything. The client walked to the corner of the office, lay down on the carpeted floor in a fetal position and stayed that way for the fifty-minute session. No words were ever spoken, but just having someone understand and be accepting was powerful therapy. God is that way--he understands! The Messiah was described as the Wonderful Counselor. The Holy Spirit is another counselor, the Comforter, the One who walks along side. The Bible is clear, God is love and he loves each one.

We live in a world that is, in the words of Paul the apostle, "in bondage to decay." In this fallen world there is sickness, hate, death, greed, lust, unfaithfulness and weeds, to name a few. God has determined that it be so, but he has commanded us to deal with this fallen world in practical ways. That is why we have theology, civil law, science, medicine, engineering, biotechnology, etc..

Suppose God always dealt with our prayers by miracle or direct intervention of some sort. We would have never learned, progressed or achieved, except in learned helplessness. Think of the blessings we enjoy as a result of the pain and the sacrifices of those who have gone on before us! God's non-anxious presence has provided for the achievement of the comforts and blessings we enjoy today! Soren Kierkegaard is said to have said, Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays. God changes us in his non-anxious presence.

Have you ever considered that those who labor in their chosen field of work that benefits humanity are answers to prayer?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.

THE NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE*

Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me (John 14:1).

After more than sixty years I can still hear the eloquent prayers that filled the countryside when epidemics of diphtheria appeared. One tube of antitoxin will do more good than all of these (Arthur Hertzler, MD).

Doctor Hertzler practiced medicine in both the 19th and 20th centuries, building a clinic of some renown in Halstead, Kansas. My first ministry was in Abbyville, Kansas, some 40 miles from Halstead so when I read his book, Horse and Buggy Doctor, I connected with it. Dr. Hertzler's father was a Mennonite lay minister, but Dr. Hertzler, himself, was skeptical of prayer and of Christians as they practiced their Christianity, but he did believe in God.

If a person can keep his head on when everyone else is losing theirs, this is what is called, "non-anxious presence." If one can do that over an extended period of time then those who are around him, or her, will begin to regain their heads. This is more easily said than done because the only true "non-anxious presence" is God--to be human is to be anxious. Just as God has a plan for His creation and is working his plan, to be non-anxious ourselves is to trust in God, believe that he is working his plan, and as Christians, live out that plan. As a result, non-anxious people live by their faith and do not allow themselves to be drawn into anxious defensive behaviors like gossip, destructive criticism, outbursts of anger or addictive behaviors.

Non-anxious presence is emotional, but it is not emotionally driven. When one is emotionally driven, he or she ceases to think and only reacts. God, being the only true non-anxious presence, is not stampeded into action by our anxious prayers, rather he answers in the way that is right. One of the reasons Hertzler was skeptical of prayer was that God did not answer in the way he thought God should answer. Eventually, Hertzler did come to the understanding that the answer to prayer is the diligent pursuit of a worthy cause. In this way he saw diphtheria antitoxin as an answer to prayer. God did answer in the way that was best. How much poorer would we be if God "zapped" us with answers to prayer with no effort on our part?

One of the qualities of Godliness is being a non-anxious presence.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post

HERE I RAISE MY EBENEZER

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Jeshanah, and called its name Ebenezer, for he said, "Hitherto the Lord has helped us." So the Philistines were subdued and did not again enter the territory of Israel. And the hand of the Lord was against the Philistines all the days of Samuel (I Samuel 7:12-13).

The last Monday in May is Memorial Day, a holiday that was originally intended to honor the memory of those who have served in the United States military and have died. Though that is still the primary purpose of Memorial Day, it has become a holiday in which we honor the memory of all of our deceased loved ones.

This weekend I helped my elderly mother place flowers at the graves of about a dozen family members, one of them being Ebenezer Bunce, my great, great grand father. Ebenezer was a pastor in the United Brethren Church. Ebenezer's name brought home to me the significance of what we were doing--remembering, honoring and being thankful. Ebenezer means, stone of God's help. It was a monument intended to help the Israelites remember how God helped them! Every monument in the cemetery is an Ebenezer. Who would I be without Ebenezer Bunce? Who would I be without the influence of my Dad? What kind of a country would we have were it not for the ultimate sacrifice of those who have died for it in military service? What kind of country would we have were it not for those whose lives were salt and light as they served Jesus Christ? God used every one of them. Their grave stones are Ebenezers!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

BEWARE OF THE FACTOIDS*

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! (Isaiah 5:20).

Though it has always been true, in the age of the Internet it is even more true, beware of the factoids! I read in a column by Wesley Pruden that the term "factoid" was coined and defined by Norman Mailer, so if that is not a fact do not blame me. A "factoid" is something that , "looks like a fact, could be a fact, but in fact is not a fact."

Of course, politicians are the ones who make the most use of factoids, but so do scientists, sociologists, lawyers, teachers, preachers, counselors, etc.. Factoids are used to make the wrong look right and black look white. Facts are used to reveal and teach the truth. My dad often warned me, "Figures don't lie, but liars sure can figure." So it is always wise for a person to check the "facts" because they might be factoids!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.

THE SAFETY OF RISK TAKING*

Then Jesus said to Simon, "Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people" (Luke 5:10).

What is your top prayer request? Is it "God, keep us safe" or "Watch over us and protect us" or "Keep my life rolling smoothly"?

God is good, but He is also dangerous and He calls those who follow Him into danger. It is one of life's great paradoxes that following the Lord into great danger is the safest place you can be.

Perhaps one of our top prayer requests should be, "Father, help me to take risks for Jesus."

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from a previous post.

I BELIEVE . . . *

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).

The first time I remember hearing the song, I Believe, was on the Lawrence Welk television program way back in the 1950's. The lyrics go something like this:

I believe for every drop of rain that falls, A flower grows . . .

I believe that somewhere in the darkest night, A candle glows . . .

Though those are only the first two lines, it is an inspirational song to me and it still reminds me that when things appear to be hopeless, God is still there. Out of the floods and out of the darkness He will bring beauty and light!

Allied soldiers found in an abandoned house, shortly following World War II, similar words scrawled on a wall; probably written by a holocaust victim:

I believe in the sun, even when it does not shine. I believe in love, even when it is not shown. I believe in God, even when He is silent.

When it seems as if God is silent, He is still working--working for the good of those who love Him. When it seems that evil is unstoppable, do not give up the faith for with out faith in God all hope is lost!!!

And without faith it is impossible to please him. For whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him (Hebrews 11:6).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.

PROBLEM SOLVING 2

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward being . . . (Psalms 51:6a).

Not everyone who comes to a counselor with a problem wants a solution. There is a payoff in having the problem and the counselee simply desires confirmation that the problem does not have a solution. Actually, there are many problems that do not have a clear solution, but there are courses of action that are clearly better than others in managing the problem. Simply wallowing in the woe-is-me victim status is the payoff for those who do not want to change. They receive sympathy and pity from the well-meaning people-helper--that is the payoff. So they remain stuck in their problems.

Job, of the Bible, was a true victim. He suffered at the hand of satan quite a string of tragedies. There are relatively few Job's. There are many people who seem to have a never-ending run of bad luck which prevents them from accomplishment, "The car broke down so I couldn't make it to the job interview," or "I have sent out ten resumes, but no one answers" kind of thing. And so they see themselves as victims of life's unlucky lottery. Of course, the truth is that by taking responsibility one can develop his organizational and communication skills that would prevent these kinds of things from happening.

Many people see money as the solution to life's problems--even many churches do, what a shame. Certainly, money is power, but money cannot solve a non money problem. Money cannot solve a spiritual problem and money cannot solve a character problem. The real problem behind most of our external problems is spiritual. We do not trust God, We do not want to obey God, and we do not want to accept responsibility. We would rather be victims because victims are not responsible.

. . . therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart (Psalm 51:6b).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

PROBLEM SOLVING*

Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts (Zechariah 4:6).

One of the counselor's undeniable truths of life is: There is no pain-free or cost-free way of dealing with a problem. Much of the time people expect the counselor to find an easy-does-it cure or a win-win solution, but this is an unrealistic expectation of the counselor. The only pain-free cure is a miracle. I do believe in miracles, but one of the characteristics of miracles is that they are rare, so one should expect to deal with pain when doing problem solving!!!

The role of the Holy Spirit in the life of the Christian is not to make life pain-free, but it is to encourage fruit production (Galatians 5:22-24) and sometimes it takes a little cutting and pruning to accomplish that (John 15:2). So, the cost of problem solving is pain, but the growth that will result will be worth the pain. Your counselor, the Spirit of God, will walk along side of you, encouraging you and strengthening you as you deal appropriately with problems.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.