EMPATHY, COMPASSION, SYMPATHY, PITY*

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; pray therefore the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest" (Matthew 9:36-37).

Not all that is called empathy is empathy. Even professionals confuse empathy and sympathy, sometimes intentionally I think, politicians being the worst offenders. Confusing sympathy and empathy can have severe consequences so it is essential to be able to tell the difference. Sympathetic counsel almost always results in freezing the problem in place, if not making it worse. While empathy alone is not the "silver bullet" that heals all problems, it is foundational to problem solving and healing because in empathy one reaches an understanding of the person with the problem.

Sympathy seems to come to human beings fairly naturally, but empathy is a skill that needs to be learned and developed. Some people seem to be more naturally inclined towards empathy than others, but the skill can be developed in most people through the example of a role model, education and training.

A classic definition of sympathy is sameness of feeling--"I feel your pain." A classic definition of empathy is the power to enter into the feeling of another resulting in understanding. In other words, empathy is the decision to come into understanding distance of another by entering into their pain. Sympathy is completely an emotional experience while empathy is decision to enter into the world of another to gain understanding and with understanding one is more likely to bring about solutions and healing. (To be continued)

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post