EMPATHY, COMPASSION, SYMPATHY, PITY (part 2)

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to "suffer with" (literal translation) our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are . . . (Hebrews 4:15).

Jesus did not call us to be sympathetic and pity the lost, rather he called us to be empathetic and be compassionate to the lost. Pit is the expression of sympathy and compassion is the expression of empathy. Jesus is the example of empathy and compassion. He made a decision to enter into human flesh and suffer what every human being suffers. No longer can anyone complain, "God! You do not understand what it is like to be me," because God does understand--he knows what it is like to be you. God made the supreme effort to come into understanding distance of you and me in Jesus Christ!!!

Pity is commiserating with the hurting one, agreeing that one should feel as he or she does. A common example of this is when a child falls and bumps his head. Mother comes running and says, "Poor dear!" "Poor dear!" and the child cries harder than before. Mom, in her pity, has just increased the emotional reaction of the child, making the problem worse.

Compassion is the expression of the understanding that comes with empathy. Perhaps complete understanding of feelings and problems of another can never be attained, but we are all more alike than we are different. There is a great deal of common experience and feeling among all people. So, when the child of a compassionate parent falls, there is concern because dad or mom knows it hurts, "been there and done that." They observe and ask questions for indications of possible injury. Finding none they say, "You will be alright. This kiss will make it feel better.. Now go and play." This expression of empathy/compassion is much more likely to help the child cope with the realities of life than the expression of sympathy/pity.

Taking the time to come into understanding distance is the greatest gift we can give to another; that is compassion. God knows, it isn't easy, but it is in this way that we will have the greatest possibility of helping others.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*I think it must be emphasised that having the same feeling as the hurting one does not result in understanding when it is emotionally driven. The intensity of the emotion itself prevents one from seeing the "whole picture."