SUMMARIZING SUBMISSION

That God has place men in such a privileged position is interesting. In my humble opinion it means that the order of creation and the order of the fall have a significance that we do not appreciate even though it is a very significant matter to God. It is a matter of faith because from a purely secular perspective, in today's society, there is no reason why a wife should be submissive to the husband. The truth is, though, that when husbands and dads take responsible leadership seriously, homes work better; regardless of the perspective one has on this issue.

There are times when a wife must act independently of her husband, for the sake of her family. To act independently of the husband is a dangerous thing, but extreme demands that violate the will of God, affairs, abuse and/or addictions can justify that independence. In every case, the wife will act in the husband's best interest, and will tell him why she did it. That is how Abigail acted with Nabal. There is nothing wrong with being a strong woman. One of the worst things a wife can do for her husband is to be an enabler, enabling him to continue in irresponsibility. I believe that to be a part of Biblical submission. But, when a wife acts independently of her husband, spending money at her whim, she endangers the well-being of the family and stresses the marriage. We do not know what tomorrow will bring. Financial stability is critical to the stability of the family. Irresponsible spending is a violation of the marriage vow, regardless of who is doing it, and thus constitutes adultery.

The husband's authority in the Christian home is to be guided by the Spirit of Christ. To rule as an autocrat is not the Spirit of Christ. It happens very often that when a husband leads his home in this way, the wife, or one of the children will develop symptoms. Addictions, affairs, irresponsible spending, eating disorders, running away from home, etc. can be symptoms of overly rigid, autocratic husbanding and fathering. Symptoms are a way of speaking without saying a word, voicing disagreement with the kind of leadership that is going on in the home. Always, when symptoms appear, husbands and fathers have to take stock of the kind of leadership they are manifesting in the home!

Grace & Peace;
Tom