MANAGING GRIEF 4

". . . that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope" (I Thessalonians 4:13).

As I have said earlier, my belief is that one never really stops grieving; one learns to manage grief. Ask any widow how many years it has been since their spouse passed away, or any parent how long it has been since their child died. They know! Grief feelings can come at any time, even many years later. Any loss leaves a scar, even though there has been healing, a scar can be a source of pain.

There are some folks who will not heal. This is called "unresolved" or "complicated" grief. It is diagnosed by the intensity of the symptoms or by the extended length of time. This is a complicated area that I will try to handle with sensitivity, but it is also an area where one can refuse to make the choice which will bring health to him/her self. I believe that God has provided the resources but one must make the choice to make use of them! If a person is already suffering from clinical depression and is already taking an antidepressant, managing grief will be much more difficult. Learning to manage grief will take an extended period of time.

Sometimes unresolved grief results from circumstances i.e. a young woman has an abortion. She ended a life. She might feel that she is doing penance by grieving. Because of the guilt she is feeling, she would feel shame if she stopped grieving, and so she believes there is virtue in wallowing in grief. The Scripture is clear, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I John 1:9). God does not want us to wallow in grief; He wants us to live healthy, Godly lives for Him.

Grace & Peace;
Tom