SEX IN MARRIAGE: Introduction

And God saw everything he had made, and behold, it was very good (Genesis 1:31).

I have written little about sex in the postings of Silver bullets, its neglect is a glaring omission.  Because one cannot turn anywhere in our culture and not be confronted with sexual themes, it is important to have a Christian perspective on sex and sex in marriage.  As well, the competition between sexual issues and money issues as a cause of divorce is nearly equal, so for this reason it is important that I write something about sex in marriage.  Much has been written in other venues about sex, perhaps I have nothing to add that is new, but in any case, a Christian perspective provides an important balance to the ubiquitous worldly perspective.

God made men and women sexual beings, telling them to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:28).  It was after that that God pronounced his creation as being very good.  Sex was truly good before the fall of mankind into sin. The way some think about sex is that it only became fun after the "fall," but in truth, it was before the "fall" that it was very good and really fun.  My personal opinion is that like Adam and Eve knew that they were naked and so tried to cover themselves after their fall into sin, so sex itself fell into shame and has been a cause of power plays, abuse, and controversy ever after.  But God intended that sex be a blessing, not a curse, something by which bonding and mutual strengthening would occur.

According to the Bible, sex is a good thing in the context of marriage.  It was in that context that sex is introduced and it is in that context that sex is healthy and good.  Sex is like fire.  When fire is in the fireplace fire is good, bringing warmth and comfort to all in the house.  If the fire gets out of the fireplace it burns the house down.  So it is with sex.  As long as it is kept in the context of marriage, husband and wife are warmed, comforted and strengthened by it--indirectly, even the children are blessed because the bond of dad and mom is strong. For those who think that the best sex is outside of marriage, there is no research that I know about that indicates that it is.  The history of sex out of marriage is one of illness, poverty, alienation.  The research shows that married couples have the most sex and the best sex.  However, in more than a third of marriages sex is a problem and it is for that reason a sequel will follow.

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom