GETTING A LIFE 5: EXPECT, AND EMBRACE, PAIN

"Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness" (James 1:2-3).

Change doesn't come without challenge or pain. We would all like it to be painless, but the reality is that it is not. So, expect challenge and expect pain, but learn to view it as constructive. It is part of building a new and better life. It hurts, but it is good hurt. Early mornings, late nights, sore muscles, fatigued bodies, fatigued brains, rejection slips and rejection, diet restriction and loneliness are some of the good hurts that one has to endure on the way to getting a life, but in the long-run they are a blessing!!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

GETTING A LIFE 4: A COMPELLING VISION

"For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God" (Hebrews 11:10).

There are two factors necessary for change: 1) A strong dissatisfaction with where you are now; 2) A compelling vision for the future. Without these you will always continue to be as you are. For Abraham, about whom the text was written, both of these factors came about because he believed God--because of his faith. On this earth, Abraham never found the city. Perhaps it might be that on this earth our vision for the future will never be realized, nevertheless, the sin is in not venturing, not trying. Our vision might have to be adjusted to reality--the city of God will never be seen on this fallen earth. That being said, it is also true that as a result of his vision, Abraham still had a wonderful and fulfilled life, becoming the father of those who have faith. In Heaven his vision is realized!

Living a rich life means that there is an old life that has to be walked away from! Even with a compelling vision, there will be misgivings about doing it! Do you suppose that Abraham had some misgivings about walking away from his life in Ur? I'm sure he did, but that is part of the territory--that is part of the price of leaving. It is a normal part of the human experience. One shouldn't view these misgivings as a sign of making a big mistake. Having misgivings is only a characteristic of the loss experience one has as a result of making a change.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

GETTING A LIFE 3: BE WILLING TO TAKE A RISK

"Who (Jesus) gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar (emphasis mine) people, zealous of good works" (Titus 2:14 KJV).

Having a life means the willingness to take a risk--the risk to do good. Jesus strongly teaches that the unwillingness to take a risk is wickedness (See the parable of the talents in Matthew 25). Life is an adventure. As human beings, unless God specially gifts us, we cannot know the future--we cannot know the outcome. One of the characteristics of God's people that makes their lives different is that they are willing to embrace risk-taking, the risk-taking done for Him.
But of one outcome that they can be absolutely sure is that God will bless the risk taken for Him.

Risk-taking is not recklessness. Recklessness is thoughtlessness, as when one exposes himself to danger without thinking it through. The Godly risk-taker has thought it through and has come to the conclusion, "It is worth the risk." Former Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, once said, "In crises, the most daring course is often the safest." That was one of his guiding principles of foreign policy--it is a good principle for life too.

To be a "peculiar" person-- a different person--be willing to take the risk to do good things.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

GETTING A LIFE 2: OVERCOMING FEAR

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (II Timothy 1:7).

"What will people think if I fail?" "What will people think if I change?" These are questions that haunt us all from time to time. The fear of public humiliation has great power to keep us inert, to keep us from moving toward making the changes we need to make. We need to remember that failure is an essential part of growth. I have great respect for those who are willing to take a risk and perhaps fail because that sets them apart as people of courage; as people who are willing to grow. When we do something we are afraid to do we grow stronger as a result.

It is an inescapable truth that there will always be those who will be critical of the positive changes. If there are people close to you who are critical of positive changes you have made in your life, you have to ask yourself the question, "is it good to have these people in my life?"

Grace&Peace,
Tom

GETTING A LIFE: GRATITUDE

". . .always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 5:20).

The first step to getting a life is to thank God for the one you already have. None of us asked to be born but here we are. We have been handed the gift of life. What will we do with it? Life is a great adventure. Each of us is born into different circumstances. We each have different capabilities. All of this diversity is a means to a rich and colorful culture if we acknowledge the One who gave us life, thanking Him by living lives of love, faith, joy and responsibility.

One of the hallmarks of a healthy life is gratitude, and one of the common characteristics of a troubled and unhealthy life is complaining and grumbling. On "Steele's Depression Inventory*," the lack of gratitude is given a significant value. On God's Judgement Inventory, complaining and grumbling have significant value too, being characteristics of wickedness (See Jude 15-16.).

Sometimes we find ourselves in difficult circumstances--painful circumstances. Complaining about them isn't going to solve them. Rather, acknowledging that our difficult circumstance might be just the spur we need to move us to making the changes we need to make. When our pain spurs us to take initiative we are taking the first step to getting a life. Therefore, we can be thankful.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*In a future article I will publish "Steele's Depression Inventory."

lOGOTHERAPY

"Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" (Romans 12:2).

One of my psychological heroes is Victor Frankl. Frankl was a Nazi concentration camp survivor. As a result of his experiences in the camps, he wrote a book called Man's Search For Meaning. It ought to be required reading for everyone in a leadership position. Here is a quote from it:

"As a professor in two fields, neurology and psychiatry, I am full aware of the extent to which man is subject to biological, psychological and sociological conditions. but in addition to being a professor in two fields I am a survivor of four camps--concentration camps, that is--and as such I also bear witness to the unexpected extent to which man is capable of defying and braving even the worst conditions conceivable . . . Man is not fully conditioned and determined but rather determines himself whether he gives in to conditions or stands up to them. In other words, man is ultimately self -determining."

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THE WAY TO ABUNDANCE

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy: I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).

One of my resolutions for the year was to post more often in Silver Bullets. Some times that is challenging when life is busy as it is right now. Though rain has slowed us considerably, we are in the middle of planting season, and there is much spring work to be done. This last week I also spoke to the local Methodist women about Israeli/Palestinian relations. It is strange that one trip to the Holy Land confers on one "expert" status, which I am not, but they asked me to shed some light and balance on their study topic.

As a result of my busyness I have resorted to using some quotes as I am using today. It is much like another I have used recently, but it is worth repeating.

"When I have learned to love God more than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God, and instead of God, I shall be moving towards that state in which I do not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased." --C.S. Lewis

Grace&Peace,
Tom

GOT PAIN?

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." --C.S. Lewis

Grace&Peace,
Tom

NEED A FRIEND?

"There are friends who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24).

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy" (Proverbs 27:6).

"Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).

I'm taking the word of PSYCHOLOGY TODAY for this statistic, "Since 1985 the number of Americans who say they have no one to talk to has doubled." It is hard to believe with all the folks one sees jabbering on their phones while driving!! That statistic may not be as ominous as it sounds because there are more people living in America now. Still it does show an increase. The freedom we have to indulge our own personal preferences also tends to isolate us. For example, if I do not like what Helen is watching on TV, I can go to a different TV and watch.

So how can one make a friend?

1. Smile!!! Be approachable.

2. Do not isolate!!! Be approachable.

3. Be involved in a Bible study with others, or take a class.

4. Sign up for a tour and have an adventure with others.

5. Try a new perspective on people you already know.

Friends do not pop out of the thin air. Making a friend does require some effort, but it is definitely worth the effort. As the Proverb writer said, 'A friend who is near is better than a brother who is far away.'

Always remember, too, that Jesus is your best friend!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

FINDING YOURSELF (your identity and personality)

"He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it" (Matthew 10:39).

Jesus repeated this teaching several times in the gospels; it must be important. Becoming a real self is a requirement to being a psychologically and emotionally healthy person. The key to becoming a real self is not to be so self-absorbed so that every pleasure has to be experienced, or to become introspective to the point of being self-possessed, but rather, to surrender to Jesus. Jesus is the one who gives a new dignity to "other people." Jesus is the one who gives us a new definition of love. Jesus is the one who leads us to look outward rather than inward to become a real self.

The first requirement for becoming a real self is to have a relationship with the Creator. The second requirement is to have a relationship with other people. If these relationships are kept in their proper order, then becoming a real self is a forgone conclusion.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THE POWER OF NEGATIVE THINKING

"Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Philippians 4:8).

We talk about the power of positive thinking. Making the decision to think positively about life, about the good things of life and even looking on the positive side of negative events can have a powerful effect on your moods. Indeed, any way we choose to think can have a powerful effect on our moods. In fact, some authorities believe that the negative thinking and pessimism that characterizes depression actually causes it.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

INTIMACY

"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces" (Matthew 7:6).

What is intimate is what is inmost or private. An intimate relationship is when one can share what is most inmost or most private with another without fear. Safety is an essential requisite for intimacy. To become vulnerable and share one's inner most thoughts, feelings and dreams with another without them being trampled on and disrespected is essential to intimacy. The surrendering of one's self to a sexual relationship in love, only to have the other view it as a conquest or a business transaction is exactly one of the meanings of these words of Jesus.

Understanding is another requisite for intimacy. One of the killers of intimacy is criticism. Why should one of the spouses share his/her share inner most thoughts and feelings with the other who is constantly critical. As a result, the spouses grow apart, though they live in the same house and sleep in the same bed. Granted, one's inmost thoughts, feelings and dreams may be dysfunctional and unrealistic, but they must be understood. Doing this takes effort, making time to listen and understand. Most of the time, intimacy wanes in a marriage because there are too many things to do, making a living and living up to our responsibilities, we think we already understand. One of the biggest reasons for affairs is the search for intimacy.

Intimacy is a real need. It is the need to love and be loved for who we are. There are many who try to fill this need by throwing their inmost selves out there to be ravaged by "pigs" and "dogs" only to have their needs unmet and to become course and hard themselves. Be careful who you give yourself to.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

FIRST THINGS FIRST FOR GREAT SEX

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be yours as well" (Matthew 6:33).

C.S. Lewis said that when 'first things are put first, second things will increase as well.' It is interesting that Sigmund Freud believed that the sex drive was the primary drive of humanity. He is the father of modern sexual promiscuity yet his own sex life was very impoverished. Really, that is the case with the majority of sexual libertines. Not only do they have to deal with the physical diseases that accompany promiscuity, but they come to the place where they are unable to be emotionally intimate. They become lonely, seeing others as sex objects rather than as people. But, when first things are first and God's boundaries are honored, then sex becomes something really good. Rather than having impoverished sex lives, the sex resulting from a truly intimate marriage is rich. Admittedly, the are married couples who lack intimacy and thus their sex lives are impoverished too, but the truth is that when a couple respects God's boundaries and makes emotional intimacy primary in their relationship then their sexual relationship will be rich too.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

WORSHIPPING THE SEX GOD

"Put to death, therefore, what is earthly in you: sexual immorality. . .which is idolatry" (Colossians 3:5).

Watching an ad about a drug that treats genital herpes prompted me to write this. The drug inhibits the transmission of the herpes virus to a partner, but does not prohibit it. The same can be said of the use of condoms and vaccinations to deterr the HPV and the development of cirvical cancer. Those who are dealing with HIV gulp dozens of expensive pill to deter the advancement of a disease that will eventually claim their lives years before their otherwise normal life-expectancy. The ads imply, like the cigarette ads of old, that if you use these things life will be even more blissful because one "can have his cake and eat it too." One can engage in promiscuous sex and not suffer the consequences. Of course the reality is that it is no fun to have to deal with sexually transmitted disease. And condoms and vaccinations only deter, but do not prevent, the diseases a problems that accompany sexual promiscuity. The sex god is a demanding god! He will get his offerings!

The sex-drive is a powerful thing. It is a wonderful gift from God! However, when it is given a priority that is higher than the boundaries that God intended to contain it, sex becomes a god, an idol. It is a free country. I am proposing no new laws. You can choose the god whom you will worship, but you will not worship the sex god without giving him his offering--which will be your life. We only need to enforce the pornography laws we already have, the reason being that pornography predisposes boys to sex addiction. What a load our society imposes on our boys!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

BUT I WANTED TO START OUT BEING FAMOUS!!

Check out http://www.howmanyofme.com/ There are 62 Tom Steele's in the United States. One would think that just 1 of them would be famous. Oh well--we do the best with what we have and God will take care of the rest.

Grace&Peace,
The least famous Tom Steele

TRUE RELIGION: A SIMPLE THING

"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8).

Jesus said this to the Pharisees, "Go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,'" (Matthew 9:13).

"And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets'" (Matthew 22: 37-40).

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law, justice and mercy and faith; these you ought to have done without neglecting the others" (Matthew 23:23).

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world" (James 1:27).

I write these words because I heard news of an old Christian friend who has come to believe that the practice of observing traditional Christian holidays, Christmas and Easter, is wrong. Rather, he believes that Christians should be observing Jewish holidays and observing Sabbaths. It would seem like this kind of people would get a clue--God isn't a legalist. The same God who commanded animal sacrifice in the Old Testament was sickened by it because it was practiced by people with hard and unrepentant hearts. Likewise, I believe, in the New Testament the same God who commanded baptism and the observance of the Lord's Supper is sickened by it when it is observed by people with unrepentant hearts. It would be better that these ordinances not be observed than to be observed with unrepentant hearts!

Christ is not glorified by the legalistic practice of ordinances. Jesus is worshipped through honest submission to His will, acting kindly and rightly toward everyone, especially the helpless and the destitute, in His name.

Why is it that people will say their mantras, rosaries, keep horrendous hours of prayer, tithe even of their garden vegetables, but will not show the love of Christ in their lives? True worship is a simple thing. It consists in humble submission to Jesus Christ. It consists of showing His love to those around us in word and deed. It consists in encouraging and supporting brothers and sisters in Christ so that they remain true to Him.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

EASTER, THE SEASON OF HOPE

"But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep" (I Corinthians 15:20).

Anyone who has touched a dead body knows that "it is over!" The life is gone. To hope that it would live again is just nuts! To believe that one could ever meet that person again is crazy, yet even atheists cling to that hope that some how, in some way, the lost loved-one will be seen again.

Hope hangs in there long after optimism has given up and gone home. When life is at its darkest, hope is insane. It would be were it not for the fact that Jesus Christ has risen from the grave! His resurrection means that we will conquer life and death too! Easter is the season of hope! It is not crazy, it is audacious!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

OUR BROTHER'S KEEPER

"Then the Lord said to Cain, 'Where is your brother Abel?' 'I don't know,' he replied, 'am I my brothers keeper?'" (Genesis 4:9).

"What part of 'you are your brother's keeper' do you not understand?'" the liberal replied to a conservative who challenged his assertions. Being a conservative myself, I thought the conservative "bungled" his answer. So, here is my answer to the liberal who would bring the power of the state to bear on the problems of hunger, poverty and health care.

First, liberal politicians do not care any more than anybody else about social problems, or even global warming. Their personal checkbooks and tax returns tell the true story. They build huge energy consuming houses, drive those same kind of cars, while personally contributing very little to the "little people" to help them with their problems. Conservatives give far more than liberals to charitable work.

The hallmarks of conservatism are: Traditional Values, Limited Government (personal freedom) and market economy. Jesus taught in a parable that anyone in real need is our neighbor. And he said by means of another parable that the sin of simply ignoring one in desperate need is sufficient to send a person to Hell. So what really helps those in real need the most? [Money does not solve non-money problems. Not all apparent need is real need.]

Liberalism comes in two different styles, the extreme of each being Communism, the state owns everything, and Fascism, the state simply dictates every facet of business. What is common to both forms of liberalism is state control. In either of the extremes there is no freedom; innovation comes to a halt. Even in moderate forms of liberal government, shortages and rationing become reality. Back in my early years, President Nixon used price controls on gasoline. We had constant gas shortages. People waited in line to fuel up their cars. Some found that by the time it was their turn to fill up, the gas was gone. Without price controls we have plenty of gas, but at a price. Likewise, it will be the same with government-run health care. People will wait in line for their turn and many will die while waiting (except for the politicians, of course). Granted, the current health-care system isn't what it should be, but there is plenty of health care at a price. When there is plenty, even though it might be expensive, it is available to be given away. When there is scarcity, there is nothing to give away and everybody suffers. Liberalism spreads the misery, the help that it extends to those in need is only apparent because production of essentials falls to subsistence levels. How does that help any body? Freedom is a powerful dynamic of production. If one is allowed to produce for the market, without exploiting fellow humans, there will be plenty.

In the Bible, being our brother's keeper is addressed on the level of personal responsibility. Religion that is worth anything is freely held and is the true Christian position. As Joshua said in the Old Testament, "But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . . But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15). The choice to help someone in need must be made freely. We can say we believe in God until the cows come home, but if we do nothing to help those in need we really do not believe. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (James 1:27). This is when we are "our brother's keeper."

Grace&Peace
Tom

AFRAID? ALONE? FEELING BLUE? THIS IS FOR YOU

A good friend, and brother-in-Christ, sent me theses Scripture verses which I felt worthy to share with my "vast" reading audience.

You say, "It's impossible." God says, "All things are possible." Luke 18:27 & Philippians 4:13.

You say, "I'm too tired." God says, "I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28-30.

You say, "Nobody really loves me." God says, "I love you." John 3:16 & 3:34.

You say, "I can't go on." God says, "My grace is sufficient." II Corinthians 9:8, 12:9 & Psalms 91:15.

You say, "I can't figure things out." God says, "I will direct your steps." Proverbs 3:5-6.

You say, "It's not worth it." God says, "It will be worth it." Romans 8:28.

You say, "I can't forgive myself." God says, "I forgive you." Romans 8:1 & I John 1:9.

You say, I can't manage." God says, "I will supply all your needs." Philippians 4:19.

You say, "I'm afraid." God says, "I have not given you a spirit of fear." II Timothy 1:7.

You say, "I am worried and frustrated." God says, "Cast all your care on Me." I Peter 5:7.

You say, "I am not smart enough." God says, "I will give you wisdom." I Corinthians 1:30.

You say, "I feel all alone." God says, "I will never leave you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5.

Make sure you read all these Scripture references. Make a copy of this and put it in your Bible.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

MORE SILLYNESS

For your entertainment, I am sharing with you this letter to the editor that was rejected by a newspaper because its genre is not appropriate for the opinion page.

Recently, I was thinking about the benefits of daylight savings time: energy conservation and greater productivity. What a payoff for simple mind-game! So I was thinking, "Is there another mind-game that would have even more benefits?" Yes there is! It is the 10-day week. Think about it. The 10-day week would increase productivity by having at least one less weekend per month. We all know that with a half billion dollar shortfall of revenue for governor Culver's budget, more productivity would be greatly appreciated.

Education would benefit from the 10-day week. Those young "skulls-full-of-mush" would have at least one less weekend to be distracted by Big Entertainment, whose excesses suck the brains and finances out of our kids. The kids would then have more time in school. Teachers would become more productive too, actually earning their extravagant salaries. Iowa might again lead the nation in education.

Most important of all, the 10-day week would advance secularism in the state. There is nothing in nature that requires a 7-day week. A 7-day week is simply a matter of the Judaic-Christian Faith being forced on the masses. Isn't there supposed to be separation of church and state? With the 10-day week there would be at least one less weekend a month for people to be indoctrinated with faith.

Iowa State found that the use of a long-discredited religious institution can advance secularism even faster than the 10-day week. Those encrusted scholars utilized the Inquisition to make the university safe from spirituality. Now even an Isaac Newton cannot get tenure at Iowa State. Though the Inquisition goes a little too far, the 10-day week will do just fine!

The biggest problem I can see with the 10-day week is what do we name the next three days?

Grace&Peace,
Tom