POLITICS AND MENTAL HEALTH

A good friend of mine sent me the results of some Gallup research that I wanted to share with you. Republicans report much better mental health than those of other political persuasions--independents or democrats (http://wwwgallup.com/poll/102943/Republicans-Report-Much-Better-Mental-Health-Than-Others.aspx). It is a very significant difference too--check it out.

I know that independents and democrats have their own theories as to why republicans report much better mental health: republicans are deluded; they think they are exceptional--everyone is out of step but them; etc.

However, I happen to think that the Republicans are, for the most part, Christians. Independents and Democrats would have a much more secular world view. They have a low view of human kind and a high view of secular government and science as the solutions to the world's problems--the chief one being global warming. Liberals are in a constant state of fear and anxiety. Every issue becomes a crisis to them. A little faith can do a lot to increase mental health, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6,7).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

PROPER GROWTH

"But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body's growth in building itself up in love" (Ephesians 4:15,16).

I receive a farm journal called FEEDSTUFFS. It deals with the availability of feedstuffs for agribusiness. As I was reading early this morning I read this blurb that was interesting and possibly could make for a good sermon illustration. This blurb is taken from an article written by Dr. M.W. Orth who is associate professor of skeletal biology with the department of animal science at Michigan State University.

"With the advances made in genetics, certain livestock species have attained some impressive growth rates. To try to give some perspective, if a week-old, 10 lb. baby boy grew at the rate of a market pig, he would weigh about 467 lb. at 24 weeks of age. If the same baby grew at the rate of a turkey, he could weigh as much as 1320 lb. at 22 weeks of age. That is more than four times the size of Shaquille O'Neal. In addition, his body composition would likely compare to that of a middle linebacker."

If our children grew that fast we would want to make sure they were properly disciplined early because they could get out of control very quickly!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

REPLY TO BL

BL asked a question that reflects the popular psychology of our time, 'If the marriage is unhappy, isn't that harmful to the kids too?' There is just enough truth in that line of thinking to make it seem that a marriage must be a happy marriage or the children will be damaged. The research does not reflect this. Both boys and girls desperately need their dads for proper development. One huge dynamic of dysfunctional behavior in children and young adults is the lack of Dad's involvement in their lives--just having dad there is important.

Jesus said that Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts. Indeed, divorce does serve a remedial function. There are marriages that are dysfunctional enough that they put the children and one of the spouses in danger. Affairs, addictions and abuse, the triple A's, are adulterous, being violations of the vows and endangering the family! Even these things do not require divorce in the short term--separation works better for short-term unfaithfulness. But, if any of the triple A's persist over the longer term, then divorce is an acceptable remedy for the sake of the family. The triple A's are so dysfunctional that the children will be damaged if the marriage continues!

But, by far, most marriages end because one, or both, of the spouses is not happy. Children from homes where the marriages are simply "not happy" get along much better, as a whole, than children from divorced parents. It is the right thing to do to stay together for the sake of the children. Personal happiness is not the number one concern here--the children are. Raising the kids until they are 19 is not a life-sentence in "prison"--only a 19+ year one. Then, of course, grandchildren are quite likely on the way. It is right to stay together for the grandchildren too; they need grampa and gramma together. By that time grampa and gramma might have just learned how to be happy in their marriage.

If parents who are not happy in their marriages can, at the very least, learn to be polite to each other in the home, the children will be OK.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

DIVORCE DAMAGES KIDS

"He will turn the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children to their parents, so that I will not come and strike the land with a curse" (Malachi 4:6).

Did you know that only about a third of the kids whose parents are divorcing only get as much as a 10 minute explanation about what is happening and why it is happening. Some just get a single sentence, like "Daddy's gone." How confusing and terrifying that is to a child!! Kids end up paying the price financially, academically, socially, psychologically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. About 60% of kids apparently make it through their parent's divorce OK, but I remember having a 40 year old, and apparently successful, woman in my office who was still agonizing over her parents divorce 25 years ago. Then there are the 40% who require treatment.

The prophet Malachi implies that God will curse the land where parents put their own happiness ahead of the well being of their children and when the children are allowed to rule their parents. Are we there yet?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

Are 29 Dimensions of Compatibility Sufficient?

I have written previously about eHarmony.com's 29 dimensions of compatibility. Being compatible is a good thing--Neil Clark Warren has done a good thing with eHarmony.com. Did you know that there are more than 30,000 marriages a year that result from eHarmony? In about 3 years there should be enough data to do some meaningful research on eHarmony marriages.

I said all that to reaffirm to my vast reading audience that I am not against eHarmony. However, I am going to share a blurb from Christian Counseling Today, by Joshua D. Straub, M.A..

"May I assert, however, this requires humility. . . an attitude of the heart. The famous love passage in 1 Corinthians 13 describes love as patient and kind. It is not envious, proud, rude, self-seeking, or easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, trusts, hopes perseveres, and rejoices with truth. This passage exemplifies the attitude of the heart necessary for the marital relationship to be healthy and satisfying.

"Although similarity may be a factor in marital success, it is only one of the many that must be understood and respected by researchers and clinicians alike. And for the eHarmony couple now living out that good marriage, they must be wary of assuming that compatibility alone will carry them through the troubled times inevitable in any marital relationship..

"We know that marital satisfaction is a function of at least two significant variables: compatibility and the attitude of the heart. Especially a man or woman after God's own heart."

Grace&Peace,
Tom

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

I wrote a letter to the editor of the Sioux City Journal in response to a column written by Leonard Pitts Jr. titled by the Journal, "Looking for Some Answers From God." Pitts' column was in response to the revelation that for the last 50 years of her life, Mother Teresa felt spiritually abandoned and cut off from God. She felt no Presence. She felt alone. Pitts' column is a conversation with God. Pitts humorously asks God at one point, Do you have any idea how much easier you make it for atheists when you act like this?" It was a good column!

My response was this: I thoroughly enjoyed reading Leonard Pitts', Looking for Some Answers From God." The feeling of being abandoned by God that Mother Teresa felt is a common experience of being human. Those who work in tragic and difficult situations, as she did, almost uniformly have the same experience and those who are grieving experience it too. Several prominent Biblical figures, including Jesus Christ himself, experienced it, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" he said in his last moments. The Psalmist cried out, How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" Within the pages of scripture these honest expressions of anger toward God are allowed. This emotional honesty is one of the reasons I believe the Bible to be the "real deal."

Since what Mother Teresa experienced is pretty much the normal human experience, atheists are left with a couple of problems, why is there any faith in God at all? And, why would this God be thought of as being loving and caring?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

A HISTORY LESSON

"Now these things happened to them as a warning, but they were written down for our instruction, upon whom the end of the ages has come" (I Corinthians 10:11).

I was just reading an op-ed piece by Paul Greenburg in which he makes a great quote for all of us to remember.

"For there will always be those who think of the past as only something to out grow, not to learn from."

Grace&Peace,
Tom

LABOR DAY 2007 GRATITUDE

Oh Lord!,

I thank you that you did not make me a Michigan fan! Amen!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

VOICES SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

". . . his sheep follow him because they know his voice" (John 10:4).

What does the Good Shepherd's voice sound like?

You can tell a lot about a person simply by listening to the sound of their voice. From the quality of a person's voice a one can estimate height, weight and age as accurately as from viewing a photo--an have a very good estimation of physical attractiveness too.

Physically attractive people tend to have more attractive voices, so when you are working on your body image do not forget your voice image. To get an idea of what you sound like to others, audio record, better yet, video record yourself. Attractive voices are variable from dynamic to soft and even monotone if needed, depending on the situation at hand. Authoritative, assertive voices drop in pitch. The voices of intimidated people tend to rise in pitch.

The voice of the Good Shepherd is the voice of authority. The voice of the Good Shepherd is the voice of truth. The voice of the Good Shepherd is the voice of love and tenderness. His voice has the full range of expression. What is your voice like?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

Today is the 37th anniversary of the marriage of Thomas E. Steele to Helen M. Steele. I posted this so that you could, in the words of my friend Zach, 'cheer us on.' I mumble and grumble a lot, but the truth be told, most of the best things in my life I owe to Helen--really the God who made provision that we should be together. Helen is probably the only woman in the world who could deal with me, the rest of them would have said, "I'm outta here" a long time ago.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

DISCIPLINE UNDER THE NEW COVENANT

"But if you are led by the Spirit you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are plain: immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing and the like. I warn you , as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires" (Galatians 5:18-24).

Probably the most salient reason why church folks want to be under the law is the fear of lawlessness if there is no law. But, are our people in the churches or the culture at large following the law any way? No! The reason they are not has nothing to do with the lack of10 commandment preaching. It has everything to do with bringing folks to Christ with unchanged hearts. They continue to be creatures of the culture at large first concerned with matters of the flesh rather than matters of the Spirit.

Living by the law of love seems to be too "loosy goosy" for a lot of folks; they want something with more structure. The problem is that they disregard the structure anyway. The new covenant is not with out law and structure. None of the old covenant is in force except what Jesus and the apostles brought into the new covenant. An this is the law that has always been in force, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all you soul and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, 'you shall love your neighbor as yourself'"(Matthew 22:36-39). Or, as Paul stated about love for neighbor, he said, "Bear one an other's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).

Living by the law of love is living by the Spirit. That is a little too subjective for a lot of folks since we can all make the claim that love had something to do with our actions. So when discipline under the new covenant has to be done--and it does even though discipline is seldom, if ever, done any more in the churches, Paul shows us what is of the flesh and what is of the Spirit. If there are personal problems or church problems, those who are mature need to ask, "Where is this problem coming from? The Spirit or the flesh?" Let those who are involved answer. After reading this text the answer should be self evident. Those who love the Lord will ask forgiveness. They may need some help with skill development, but they are teachable. Those who only have excuses and blame are unworkable. These are the ones who still live by the flesh and there is little hope for them.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

LIVING UNDER THE NEW COVENANT

In the last few weeks I have managed to alienate most of the people around me. I thought I would write this and finish the job of alienating every one. A week ago I preached a sermon called, The Law of Moses and Salvation. Afterwards a couple of leaders from the congregation came to me disagreeing with what I said. They contended that the Law is still in force--it has not been done away. I again cited to them the words of Paul in Galatians 5:4 "....you who are seeking to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace." Anyone who trusts in his own good works for salvation has fallen from grace. We might live very good lives, but as James said, "For who ever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all" (James 2:10). That is why every one of us needs a savior! We all stand guilty before God! In Revelation 21:8 there are some frightening words, "But for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted, as for murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their lot shall be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death." With out Jesus, that is what we all are--we are guilty! Hell is our destination! Law keeping cannot save us! "For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did; sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh as an offering for sin. He condemned sin in the flesh so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit" (Romans 8:3-4).

Jesus did not come into the world to slap a new patch on an old system or to pour new wine into old containers--it just would not work! (Matthew 9:16-17). The problem with the Law was that it could not change hearts! As God said through Jeremiah about His people, "Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked each one in the stubbornness of his evil heart. . ." (11:8). God says about humanity in general, "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). So, a heart change is necessary! That could only happen with a new covenant--all new.

God is after our hearts and the way that He gets them is through the great expression of His love. He created us because He loves us. He redeemed us through the great sacrifice of Jesus Christ because He loves us. If His love does not draw us, nothing will. If His love does not motivate us to serve Him, nothing will, even the threat of hell. As Paul said, "For the love of Christ controls us...he died for all so that they who live might no longer liver for themselves but for Him who died on their behalf" (II Corinthians 5:14-15).

Christians serve God from their hearts. If they serve under threat of Divine punishment then their service is of law rather than grace and is of no credit to them. God wants willing service from our hearts. Jesus said to the woman at the well in John 4:23, "But an hour is coming, and now is, when true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshippers." Worshipping God in spirit has to do with our spirit--it is from our heart. True worship comes from the heart! Paul says something similar about giving our offerings, "Each must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver" (IICorinthians 9:7). We are not under the law to be held accountable for tithing--God wants us to give generously from the heart!

Living under the new covenant is wonderful--we have freedom and infinite pardon. We enter it because of God's love for us and we respond in faith to it. We enter it something like marriage, because we respond to God's love in Jesus and we love Him. We trust in Him. We make a commitment to Him in that our flesh no longer has the first claim on our lives, but God does. And both God and us sign the covenant agreement in the blood of Jesus in Christian baptism (I Peter 3:21).

Grace&Peace;
Tom

GOD'S POLITICS

How quickly a month passes! I'm sorry it has been so long since my last post--I have had a lot on my plate that has occupied my mind. Even this post is short, but one that I found amusing and wanted to pass along to you.

"A wise man's heart inclines him toward the right, but a fool's heart toward the left" (Ecclesiastes 10:2).

Enough said.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

UNAPPRECIATED SATIRE

I have been thinking about the 29 dimensions of compatibility that eharmony.com uses to match up people into couples. If the NAA is not included, a potential couple does not stand a chance of making is. Anyone who is really familiar with personality testing knows that if the NAA is not factored in, the validity of the testing is open to serious question because, as the late, great Steve McQueen said, "Racing is life." According to Iowa State University psychological testing, the NASCAR ATTITUDES ASSESSMENT is not religious, nor in any way "spiritual" and therefore can be used as a personality inventory for the football program. All new recruits will be evaluated on the basis of their NAA score. That is how important and valid the NAA is in determining compatibility.

All NAA questions have four possible answers. Circle the one that best fits your feeling: 1. Strongly agree; 2. Agree; 3. Somewhat agree; 4. Will leave and go home to mother.

Sample questions:

1. I would love to spend my honeymoon at Bristol, Tennessee for a NASCAR race.

2. I wear a Matt Kenseth Dewalt-powertools jacket and tie for formal wear.

3. I think of down-field blocking as just another form of bump-drafting.

4. I think of marriage as a 500 mile race.

The NAA is to be administered by professionals only! Conclusions drawn by anyone else could cause a couple to crash and burn. Anyone in need of premarital counseling needs to take the NAA.

One's mind can wander while mowing the yard, especially when it is a large yard like the one at My Father's House. After listening to many radio ads for Eharmony.com about the 29 dimensions of compatibility I thought, "I wonder if they left one out--the NAA" It is true that relationships work better if there is personality compatibility, but 29 dimensions of compatibility does not a soul-mate make. This is sacred ground that cannot be fully understood by social science, but only by the Spirit. I wonder what the divorce rate is for the matches of Eharmony.com?

Then there is Iowa State University. The football coach there wants to have a chaplain for the football team. The University has been anti Christian lately, denying tenure to professor Gonzales, a highly respected professor in physics and astronomy because he wrote a book, The Privileged Plant. That book is a testimony to his belief in intelligent design. The same gang of professors out to deny tenure to professor Gonzales want to deny chaplaincy for the football program on the grounds of separation of church and state. The thing is, chaplaincy is a respected institution in our country from the very beginning. If the framers of the constitution believed that separation of church and state denied a chaplaincy, there would have been no chaplains from the very beginning--so was the reasoning of Justice Warren Burger in affirming the validity of chaplaincy.

Iowa State will never have a generally successful athletic program as long as a gang of professors circulating petitions is allowed to make decisions for the administration.

These were some of the thoughts that were behind that bit of mild satire--though I doubt that anyone was really interested.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

PORNOGRAPHY DESTROYS LOVE

"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. . ." (I Corinthians 13:4-8a).

"A ChristiaNet.com and Second Glance Ministries poll found 20% of Christian women (vs 50% of Christian men) are addicted to pornography. Sixty percent of women respondents admitted to significant struggles with lust, 40% admitted being involved in sexual sin in the past year, and 20% of church-going female participants struggled with viewing pornography." (Foster Report, Christian Counseling Connection).

These are astounding numbers, even if the research is flawed, which I think it is, half those numbers are huge. How do they define addiction? How do they define lust? How large is the sample? These are some of the questions that need to be asked. There are those who do ask the question, what is the harm in pornography? It is harmful because it is addictive, needing more and greater stimulation to receive the same "high." Thus it leads to all kinds of perversity, physically abusive and even homicidal results.

The biggest problem with pornography is it teaches that another person has no value except what they can do for me, completely contradicting the teaching of the Scriptures. The Bible says that each person has value, not because of what they can produce, but because God created them and Jesus died for them.

God created us as sexual beings. Sex is good, but it is of the flesh. The flesh does not come first--the Spirit does! Keep it in that order and you will have the best sex--I promise!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

Our Irrational Beliefs

"The word of the Lord came to me again:'What do you mean by repeating this proverb concerning the land of Israel, 'The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge'? As I live, says the Lord God, this proverb shall no more be used by you in Israel. Behold, all souls are mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sins shall die'" (Ezekiel 18:1-4).

I know, I have used that text many times. It is almost a proof text for me, but it is a very important text in the Scripture because it emphasizes our personal responsibility to God. We blame our sinfulness on "original sin," how our mothers treated us or because our fathers were not involved in our lives or because of some other trauma that we experienced. I know these kinds of things do have some power, but they are not determiners of our behavior!

The Scripture says that the just shall live by faith, meaning faith in Christ. In reality, everyone lives by faith, but most of the time our beliefs are irrational. The reason the past has power over our lives is because of how we think about it. The reason present problems cause depression and anxiety is because of what we believe about them.

I've said all this to lead up to this quote by Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational-Emotive-behavioral therapy, who, himself, suffers with the irrational belief in atheism, which I want to share with you: "The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny." I think he and God agree.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

PRAYER

"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:11-13).

We have had quite a lot happening around our place lately, and it looks like it will be that way for much of the summer. Soooo, my postings will probably be a little more infrequent, and/or a little more borrowed. This posting is like that. I found the following quotes about prayer in Christian Counseling Today by Harold Koenig M.D. that I wanted to share with you all.

"I have seen prayer active in the lives of many patients in my clinical practice, so I don't need scientific proof of this. In the early days of my work as a family physician, I would often ask patients, 'What enables you to cope with the stress of your medical illness? What keeps you going, despite these difficult circumstances?' Patients would so often tell me that it was prayer."

"I have also had patients tell me how prayer for them or a loved one changed the course of an illness and doctors could not explain it. Even more often though, patients report to me that prayer changes how they view their illness or the situations they are in."

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THE FAMILY TABLE

"And when it was evening he came with the twelve. And as they were at the table eating, Jesus said. . . ." (Mark 14:17,18).

The some of the greatest memories are those surrounding the family table. I was cleaning the house, preparing for the arrival of a former minister and his wife. [Our church is celebrating its 125th anniversary. As part of the celebration, former ministers and "Timothy's" have been invited to speak the first Sunday of each month during the year. Helen and I are hosting this month, June.] As I changed the table cloth I remembered that this table is one that our guests would have gathered around, and eaten from, many years ago because this is the only table I remember being in my childhood home during their ministry with us. Returning to the farm in 1980, Helen and I inherited the table and raised our own children around it.

I suppose if this table were sold at an auction that it would bring very little. The legs have an ornate design, but the top is somewhat of an embarrassment to look at, and that is why it stays covered with a table cloth. Yet, that table tells the story of the Steele family history in a way no written word can tell. So, it will live on in our home until the day of my passing comes. Perhaps it will find its way to an auction where it will be sold for a "song." Who would want a table with a linoleum top? The top is a testimony to my mother's thrifty practicality--it is great for cutting up meat or processing vegetables. There is a burn mark in that linoleum table top from the time in 1953 during a terrible storm and the electricity was out that my sisters tried to make some light by starting a fire in a pan, my parents being occupied by livestock.

It is around this table that we started every meal with prayer, asking God's blessing on what we were about to eat. Food is always more filling and nourishing when it is eaten with gratitude and God's blessing, and with six hungry children, food needed all the blessing it could get. Dad always ended his prayers at that table with, "Bless this food to its intenda juice." I pondered for a long time what intenda juice was until I came home from college one time and heard, "intended use." The lessons about prayer that I learned from dad around that table I have tried to teach and model for my own children and grandchildren around that same old table.

I remember a lot of good times, important discussions, fellowship with dear friends and ministers. I bought my first life insurance policy at that old table. There were has been anger shown there, tears shed there, belly laughs laughed there, games played there and a lot of food and drinks spilled there. This is all normal stuff for raising a family and having friends. The rungs show the wear of all the big and little feet that have been there.

Helen has never complained about keeping that old dining-room table around. I suppose that is partly because she has a lot of history with that table too, and because she is like my mom, a practical woman who can use a sturdy table with a linoleum top, as well as being able to put up with my "quirkiness." Someday that table will probably sell at an auction for very little, but the memories, of which it bears the marks, are priceless!

Go now. Find a good sturdy dining-room table that you can make some good family memories around and make them. A good family table will always remind you of the really important things.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

COMMUNICATION PATTERNS IN MARRIAGE

"A continual dripping on a rainy day and a contentious woman are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in his right hand" (Proverbs 27:15-16).

The most complimentary writing about a woman is found in Proverbs 31--she definitely was not a contentious woman. Scattered throughout Proverbs are references to the contentious woman. This proves that in whatever culture in whatever period of time human nature has not changed very much.

Communication patterns are at the center of the success of a marriage. One of the things premarital counselors should evaluate are the communication patterns of the engaged couple because it is communication patterns that are pretty reliable predictors of the success of the marriage. Negative patterns are far more predictive than positive ones. It takes 5 to 20 positive comments to equal the power of 1 negative comment. Sometimes with a nagging and critical spouse in marriage counseling it is hard to find a positive comment. It is hard for a marriage to survive a contentious woman----or man. Predicting the success of a marriage is almost as simple as doing the math. If there are at least 5 positives to 1 negative comment in their communication, they will probably do OK. If there is less than that, there will be trouble.

Here are some negative communication patterns that are extremely destructive to a marriage:
1) Withdrawal--men are most guilty of this. Working late, hobbies and activities which become excuses for not being with spouse. All of this busyness says something, thus it is communication.

2) Escalation--raising of voice or anything that raises the temperature--slamming a door.

3) Invalidation--name calling, rolling eyeballs, heavy breathing, the silent treatment(this could be the worst).

4) Negative interpretation--when even a spouse's positives become a negative if the motive is believed to be negative. The spouse can do nothing right. When communication is in this mode the marriage will not turn around unless there is a miraculous change in perspective!

Check out your communication patterns! Are you a contentious woman----or man?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

INVITING MORE TROUBLE

"When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, he passes through waterless places seeking rest; and finding none he says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' And when he comes he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first" (Luke 11:24-30).

Problem solving is complex. Apparent solutions can simply lead to more problems. It has long been my belief that changes can be made in a person's life, in a business, in a church or an institution, but unless the necessary changes are made, all other changes are meaningless. According to the cited Scripture text, they can be worse than meaningless, they can actually invite more trouble. One can change addresses, jobs, bosses and spouses, but if the personal changes are not made that need to be made, it is opening up the door to something worse. It isn't enough to rid one's life of a demon. One has to fill his life with something to take the demon's place. The something that takes the demon's place has to be the right stuff. The Greek word translated, "put in order" literally means to decorate, adorn." That decoration was done from the set of values that got the man in trouble the first time; what needed to be changed was not changed. As a result the demon returned with seven other demons. And the man was worse off than before.

When the values of the world (kosmeo, to decorate or adorn) are the values that order our lives, then we invite more trouble into our lives. It is such a sad thing that Christians and churches look to the world for their standards of success and worth. Actually, it is hard not to do since we are surrounded by the world. Nevertheless, it is by faith that we look at God's standards of morality, success, achievement, value and personal worth and use them to order our lives.

In focusing on solutions for our problems it is absolutely necessary that we understand the road that led us to the problems we have and change directions. That is repentance. The failing to do this is inviting more trouble into our lives.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

BACKWARDS BILL---LIVES WAY UP ON BACKWARDS HILL

Conan O'Brien reported this little news blurb: "The Washington Post reports that Sen. Hillary Clinton is trying to win the Democratic nomination by reaching out to women. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, 'Oh sure, when she does it, it's OK.'"

Blessings,
Tom

SHOW YOURSELF A MAN

"When David's time to die drew near, he charged Solomon his son, saying, 'I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and SHOW YOURSELF A MAN, and keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his ordinances, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses . . ." (I Kings 2 :1-3).

It is Friday and I need to have a sermon on Sunday. My mind is a little barren right now so I needed some inspiration as to where to start with a sermon. Perhaps "googling" is not the best place to start, but that is what I did. I "googled" Sunday Sermons. What I found were some sermons by Billy Sunday. Billy Sunday was a professional baseball player from 1883-1891, making $5,000 a year. During that time Billy became a Christian and became convicted to become a preacher of the gospel. He then made $75 a month. During the 40 some years of his ministry it is estimated that 300,000 people came to believe in Jesus.

The title "Show Yourself a Man" was interesting to me. In his sermon he talks about biblical manhood. It's a great sermon and it is really one for both genders. Being a man isn't about having a pair of "big-ones," but it is about having courage enough to walk in God's ways. Sampson was a man full of testosterone but small in self-control.

I'm not going to do Sunday's sermon as written, but it is a good place to start.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

LIFE IS HOW YOU LOOK AT IT

"We know that in everything God works for good with those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

Alex and his grampa were wrestling on the family room floor. After a short time, grampa got Alex pinned on the floor. Grampa was laughing out loud when he said to Alex, "I've got you down now." Alex giggled as he replied, "No, grampa, I've got you up."

Alex did have his grampa "up." He was receiving his grand father's full attention. He could look at his situation in a completely different way because he knew that he was loved. We are loved by our Heavenly Father so we are able to look at the events of our lives in a completely different way too. Christians should not look on the dark side of things even though there are many dark things happening. It is my natural tendency to look at life through "dark glasses;" I have to work at being optimistic. A little lesson from a child reminds me that life is a whole lot better if we have love and faith enough to look at it in a different way. Quoting again from Romans, "'For thy sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.' No! In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us!" (Romans 8:36-37).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

RISKY BEHAVIOR CAN BE A GOOD THING

"But as for the cowardly . . . their lot shall be the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death" (Revelation 21:8).

The Bible places a lot of importance on courage as a virtue. It takes courage to live out our faith in Christ. Unfortunately, there are many Christians who buckle under peer-pressure and go along rather than stand up for Jesus, thinking that going-along to get-along is safer. It is not. I read an interesting quote by Henry Kissenger in the Jewish World Review a couple of weeks ago that I thought needed to be shared with my vast reading audience, "In Crises, the most daring course is often the safest." Do something daring for the Lord when the odds are against you!!

Grace&Courage,
Tom

SHERYL, CAN I HAVE JUST ONE SQUARE, PLEEEZ?!?

"But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and the heavens will pass away with a loud noise, and the elements will be dissolved with fire, and the earth and everything that is done on it will be disclosed" (2 Peter 3:10).

Climatologist, environmentalist and entertainer, Sheryl Crow has pontificated that we should all use just one square of toilet paper, we've got to save those trees to make oxygen, you know. If any of you Seinfeld fans remember, Elain Bennis needed just one square and Seinfeld's date couldn't even spare a square! Thank you, Sheryl, for allowing us "little people" a square! I'm pretty sure that Sheryl Crow is pretty much like Al Gore, talking the talk but not walking the walk.

We have plenty of trees. America is more forested now than it was prior to settling the frontier. When my great grandfather claimed the homestead that I currently farm, in 1871, the only trees on the prairie were along the creeks and rivers. Their first house was sod. Now the prairie is overgrown with trees, so much so that the Department of Natural Resources pays us to cut them down. We just did a prairie burn last week and burned up quite a few live cedar trees. Believe me, there is plenty of timber for toilet paper, and to produce oxygen; grass does it better anyway!

The great worry is that there is such a carbon dioxide build up in our atmosphere that it is causing "global warming." There is great concern that we won't be able to breath or that all the heat will cause us to die. To me it is interesting that just a month ago I sat in a meeting of farmers and agronomists talking about how to increase corn yields. One absolutely proven method of increasing production is to make sure the corn gets more CO2!! You do that by tilling the soil with a cultivator. More CO2 is a good thing. We can grow more corn to feed the world! Global warming is a good thing because more land will be available for growing food for the world. Global warming is a good thing because we will run our furnaces less, but with all the new-found affluence, we will run air-conditioners more so that will cancel each other out.

There is a day coming that will begin just like any other day--there will be no sign. Things will be going along as they always have. Despite all that Al Gore and Sheryl Crow have done there will be global warming that has never been seen before--the earth will dissolve with a fervent heat. Are you ready?!?

By the way, if Sheryl only uses one square we might have some insight on why she and Lance broke up.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

A PITHY PONDERING

"It is easier to train a wild horse than to resurrect a dead one" (unknown).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THE ONE YOU FEED

"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:24-25).

Yesterday I spent the day at North American Baptist Seminary in beautiful Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I attended the annual Hiller Lectureship dedicated to pastoral care and counseling. The speaker was Dr. Frederick DiBlasio, who serves as a professor in the School of Social Work at the University of Maryland. Dr. Diblasio has pioneered in the clinical use of forgivness, having researched the use and effectiveness of forgivness in marriage and family therapy. As Christians, it should be no surprise to us that forgivness is an effective intervention in family therapy, but Christians, themselves, are amazingly unforgiving, holding on to their "righteous anger."

Dr. DiBlasio, himself, is a committed Christian. He spoke briefly about the warfare that goes on in each of us between the flesh and the Spirit. He framed it as a father talking to his son about the battle between the flesh and the Spirit. The son asks his father, "What side wins?" The Father replies, "the one you feed." What side are you feeding?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

COMPASSIONATE REPLY TO HUSKER RED

"What do you mean by repeating this proverb concerning the land of Israel, 'The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge?' As I live, says the Lord God, this proverb shall no more be used by you in Israel!" (Ezekiel 18:2-3).

There, there Husker, it is going to be alright. I know it is Friday the 13th and having that bowl of crabby flakes for breakfast didn't help a lot either. I know you have a problem with making human relationships too complex and difficult. Still, even though it is helpful to show those who are hurting that you care, it does make a difference how you show them. By sympathizing with them one tends to freeze the problem in place. It is a form of enabling--agreeing that one is entitled to feel and act the way they do because, "If you had been through what I have been through you would feel and act the way I do." Sympathy makes victims, and God will have none of that, but compassion results in making responsible people, ". . .we are more that conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:37).

Thankyou, HR for your comment because you expressed the thoughts of many. A compassionate person will take the time to try to understand another's feelings from their perspective. Armed with this understanding the compassionate one will act in ways that are more likely to bring about an aleviation or solution to the problem. God has not acted toward us in sympathy, but He has acted in compassion for us, giving us what is needed to meet our deepest need.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

AMAZING GRACE

America's most recognized and loved hymn is AMAZING GRACE, written by John Newton. When Newton was just 11, his mother died. His father took him off to sea to be with him. On a visit back at home, the British Navy impounded young Newton and impressed him into service. He escaped from the Navy, only to be impounded again. This time, however, the Navy traded him to a slave trader. That is how Newton became involved in the slave trade and other immoralities. He was eventually imprisoned, and the rescued by a friend of his father.

In 1748, he boarded the Greyhound headed for home, but encountered a terrible storm on the way. After 27 days of being lost at sea, the crew finally sighted land. This experience drove Newton back to the faith he learned from his mother. He became a preacher of the gospel and for the next 59 years would preach it faithfully. At age 82, near death,almost blind, and with fading memory, he spoke these words: "My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things.
I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior."

Now you know why he wrote, "Amazing grace! How sweet the sound! That saved a wretch like me!" Any one who has a conscience and honestly evaluates her internal and external behavior will feel wretched, understanding how far short she has fallen in meeting the demands of love and holiness.

There is a paradox here too, because it is in this wretchedness that we find true self-esteem. We a not a piece of human debris! We are a person created in the image of God whom God loves so much that He made a sacrifice beyond the scope of our understanding and imagination. This side of Heaven it will never be completely understood, but the cross assures us of our great value to God.

"But God shows His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

YOU MIGHT BE A LIBERAL IF. . .

"A wise man will hear and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels" (Proverbs 1:5).

If you have ever had a question about whether you are a liberal or conservative consider the following:

1. You might be a liberal if you are against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You might be a liberal if you believe businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You might be a liberal if you believe tha guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the hands of the Chinese, North Koreans and Iran.

4. You might be a liberal if you believe there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You might be a liberal if you believe global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's and burping cows.

6. You might be a liberal if you believe gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You might be a liberal if you believe that the AIDS virus is spread by lack of Federal funding.

8. You might be a liberal if that the government school system that cannot teach our children how to read is some how competent enough to teach them about sex.

9. You might be a liberal if you believe that hunters do not care about nature, but activists who haven't been outside San Francisco do.

10. You might be a liberal if you believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You might be a liberal if you believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST for financial gain only.

12. You might be a liberal if you believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You might be a liberal if you believe that taxes are too low and ATM fees are too high.

14. You might be a liberal if you believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history that Thomas Jefferson, Robert E. Lee, Thomas Edison and Alexand Graham Bell.

15. You might be a liberal if you believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You might be a liberal if you believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and a very nice person.

17. You might be a liberal if you believe that the only reason that socialism has failed every where and every time it has been tried is because the right people have not been in charge.

18. You might be a liberal if you believe that conservatives telling the truth belong in jail and a liars, frauds and sex offenders belong in congress and the White House.

19. You might be a liberal if you belive that funding provided by the Chinese and Saudi governments to the Democrat Party is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

20. You might be a liberal if you believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and beastiality should be constitutionally protected, but that manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

21. You might be a liberal if you believe that it's OK to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day, but it is no OK to say "Merry Christmas."

22. You might be a liberal if you believe that this post is part of a "vast, right-wing conspiracy,"
though it was adapted from a contribution from a dear friend.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THE BONES OF JESUS?

Apparently, the ossuaries of Jesus and his family have been found. I doubt that the timing for the release of this story was coincidental, being released during the Easter season for maximum exposure and maximum profits for the Discovery Channel.

Arguably, the greatest evidence for the truth of the Christian faith is that it exists at all. From day one, Pentecost, 29 A.D. at Jerusalem, the bodily resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth was preached as being foundational to the faith. It was consistently preached that way, as Paul would later say, "If Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile..." Both friend and foe alike knew the location of the tomb of Jesus. At the first public preaching of the faith, which was heard by thousands of people, the foes could have extinguished the faith by producing the body, but they could not. This accounts for the explosive growth of the faith in the very place where Jesus was crucified.

If Christ has not risen one has to contend with the unlikely scenario that the disciples perpetrated a fraud. It takes about a year for bones to be prepared for an ossuary, so they had to be very secretive about what they were doing. Then it was these same disciples who were perpetrating the fraud that suffered torture and died to defend its truth. People die for false beliefs all the time, suicide bombers are evidence of that. However, people are extremely unlikely to die to defend the truth of a fraud they are perpetrating. James, Jude and each of the apostles of Jesus, suffered torture unto death without recanting the Easter story!

There is no question that the Christian hope is audacious, but it is not delusional! It is founded on the solid truth that Jesus Christ has risen. Whose ever bones are in the ossuary, they are not the bones of Jesus of Nazareth, as the name would have been inscribed on the ossuary of a Galilean.

So, now, have a joyful Easter!!!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

DANGERS INHERENT IN PASTORAL MINISTRY AND COUNSELING

"He who digs a pit may fall into it. . .He who quarries stones my be hurt by them, and he who splits logs may be endangered by them. If the axe is dull and he does not sharpen its edge, then he must exert more strength. Wisdom has the advantage of giving success" (Ecclesiastes 10:8-10).

While clearing my office clutter for an important visitor I happened on an article by Dr. Diane Langberg. It was one that I used in my Pastoral Counseling lectures at Nebraska Christian College. I will share some thoughts taken from it with you.

As the writer of Ecclesiastes wisely points out, there are dangers that are inherent to any job. A wise person is more likely to be safe and successful. Pastors and pastoral counselors have good inside jobs, working with good people. So what is so dangerous about that? After all, they function in a sphere of professionalism with faith, codes of ethics and accountability to protect them.

Can people dealing with abuse, addiction, rage, fear and grief be dangerous? Those of us who listen to their stories can easily begin to question the character of God, why does He allow this to happen and why is it that many times change does not come? Where is God? We begin to see God through the lens of sin and sorrow, rather than viewing sin and sorrow through the lens of His character. This is what erodes faith.

Another danger is over-involvement. It is the thinking process that says, "Success ultimately depends on me." "If God isn't going to do anything, then, I have to." It is this kind of thinking that leads to the justification of all kinds of evils. Over-involvement is just a symptom of an eroded faith in the life of the pastor.

Another danger is that sin is contagious. The truth is that the roots of those sins we find so abhorrent in others lie within us as well. We must be careful that we do not catch the full-blown disease that we are treating in others--nor become infected with the pride of self-righteousness instead.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

MONEY: VALUES AND FIDELITY

One's bank statements are a record of a person's true values. Where a person's money is spent is where her heart is. A person's money follows the heart, the heart doesn't generally follow the money. A person's "treasure" is what one see's as valuable. She doesn't put it where her heart doesn't want it to be.

Financial problems are the leading factor in divorce. In most cases, it isn't that there isn't sufficient money, but it is that there isn't sufficient money to satisfy competing values. Of course there is never enough money to satisfy our wants, but there is enough to satisfy our needs. When couples marry, they promise faithfulness to one another. Why is it that we tend to think that it is sexual faithfulness that is primary, and that other kinds of faithlessness are less serious, when actually financial faithlessness is just as serious a breach of trust as any other!!

This is a quote from Dr. Val Farmer that I used to share with my Marriage and Family students, "Complete trust about money is about as basic to a relationship as is sexual and emotional loyalty." Financial unfaithfulness in a marriage is just as destructive to a marriage as any other kind. Of course, just as an affair doesn't have to mean the end of a marriage, financial infidelity doesn't have to end it either, but the recovering of trust can be just as difficult.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THE HIGH-PRICE OF A GIFT

"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God--not because of works, lest any man should boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

I am rereading a book that was assigned reading in my seminary days. The book is BOLD LOVE by Dan Allender. I thought I would share this quote from today's reading, "The cost to the recipient of God's grace is NOTHING--and no price could be higher for arrogant people to pay."

Grace&Peace,
Tom

ARE THERE ANY CONSERVATIVES IN THE HUNT?

Jay Leno has humerously commented, "Rudy Giuliani has defended Newt Gingrich, saying it's okay Newt had an affair and that no one is perfect. That's when you know the Republicans are in trouble--when a guy with three marriages and an affair is defending the guy with three marriages and two affairs so they can team up and beat a Clinton."

The situation with the Republicans is not good. Ultimately, I may have to hold my nose and vote for Giuliani, but until that time I've come to the conclusion that Huckabee will recieve my support.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

CHANGE: INSIDE OUT OR OUTSIDE IN?

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

It is a truism that there must be changes on the inside so that there can be changes on the outside of a person. But sometimes internal change begins with changes in external behavior. There is evidence both from research and the Bible that what one does on the outside effects what is on the inside too.

There is an old saying which has been very helpful to people with phobias, "Do the thing you fear and fear will pass from you." When one is able to confront the thing that frightens him, then the fear that is on the inside will go away.

Outside action is a powerful influence on the attitude of the heart. When parents deal with the outside behaviors of their children through congruence between proper teaching and personal example, then the inside commitment of the child's heart to the Lord is almost a forgone conclusion (Proverbs 22:6 and Hebrews 5:14). On the negative side of this principle is Colossians 1:21, "Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior." Jesus taught that we are to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us. Why? Not that they will become our friends, but that we will change what we think about them.

Modifying external behavior to effect internal change is the guiding principle of several therapeutic interventions. At virtually all juvenile residential treatment facilities, swearing is not allowed in casual conversation because it is recognized that swearing negative effects personal and other resident' attitudes. Dr. William Glasser says in Reality Therapy, "People do not act irresponsibly because they are 'ill'; they are 'ill' because they act irresponsibly" (p.XV). In reality therapy it is assumed that responsible behavior will result in good mental health.

A conversion of the heart does not automatically determine that one's outward behavior will change; anyone who has worked with Christians who have addictions can attest to that truth (note also Romans 7:17-20).

Ultimately, there must be a change on the inside! No behavior change will be permanent without it. It has to be understood that Proverbs 22:6 is not a promise but a probability. If the child does not internalize her training she will go her own way rather than God's way.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THE AUDACITY OF HOPE

"God will make a way where there seems to be no way, He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me . . ." (Don Moen).

"Blessed by the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead" (1 Peter 1:3).

Barack Obama has written a book called THE AUDACITY OF HOPE, I believe that was also the title of his speech at the 2004 Democrat convention. I have not read the book, nor did I listen to the speech, it is not high on my reading priority list, unless in the extremely unlikely case he is able to defeat Hillaryfor the nomination of president. Then I will need to know what makes him "tic." But THE AUDACITY OF HOPE is a great title because one needs to be audacious in order to truly hope.

According to Greek mythology, when Pandora opened her box she loosed all the miseries of mankind: greed, vanity, slander, envy and pining. Only ELPIS was left inside. ELPIS is the Greek word that is translated by HOPE in the New Testament. The Greek goddess, Elpis, is the personification of hope. She is portrayed as a beautiful young woman with a smile on her face and a flower in her hand. Eventually, Pandora revisited her box and released Elpis. What would the world be like without hope?

What makes hope hope? Is hope merely the belief that good tends to win in the end? That is optimism. Though hopefulness is listed as a synonym for optimism in a thesaurus, I see a shade of difference. And that difference has to do with evidence to the contrary. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary one still clings to hope of a positive outcome long after the optimist has given up. That is why hope is so audacious.

An audacious hope is delusional and sheer lunacy except for God. If God says it will be so, it will be so!!! Have you ever touched the body in a casket? You know immediately from the touch that the personality that animated the body is gone. All the evidence says the person is dead, it is over, the dead person will never be seen again. But God says otherwise. In Christ, we are assured of a great family reunion in eternity in the face of the negative evidence to the contrary. It is the power of God that makes an audacious hope reasonable rather than delusional.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

A SPORTS METAPHOR FROM BO RYAN

"and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1).

I was reading in "Hawk Central" the account of the Iowa-Wisconsin basketball game. It has been a matter of great concern to me how Wisconsin has dominated Iowa in sports this year. Oh well, there are some great things that result from intense competition regardless of who wins. Sports competition is life concentrated. I think this is why some of the most decent people on any university campus are in the athletic departments. Their life philosophies are always being tested in athletic competition. The success or failure of their philosophies are witnessed by thousands of people. They are not hidden away in some obscure paper, lab or classroom where intellectual freedom is denied.

Anyway, this quote from Ryan was great and I wanted to share it with you: "Hustle opportunities, they are there for anybody to get if they get the right position and keep working hard. People always say, 'Well, the ball doesn't bounce our way.' But in life what are you going to do? Wait for things to come to you? So we just treat an offensive rebound as grabbing life by the horns and riding it."

Grace&Peace,
Tom

ABOUT BEING AUTHENTIC

"I have discovered that no marriage can be triumphant until both people are able to be fully and freely themselves" (Neil Clark Warren).

"And we all with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being changed into his likeness from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit" (II Corinthians 3:18).

Psychologists tell us that one of the characteristics of good mental health is the ability to be authentic; to be able to live with your guard down; to be able to be a self, not the self someone else wants you to be. Now that sounds good, but there are some good reasons for a person to have his guard up--one might get punched in the nose if he doesn't. There are some good reasons for one to be the self someone else expects him to be--he might not graduate or he might be fired from his job. There are inumerable people who authentically wanted to say, "take this job and shove it" to their boss, but didn't.

One principal I want you to remember is that you cannot not be authentic. Pardon the use of a double negative. A counterfeit dollar bill is a genuine counterfeit dollar bill--it is what it is, a real counterfeit dollar bill. You are what you are doing. Jesus said that it is out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The totality of our behavior is the mouth speaking. The question we all need to ask ourselves is, "What is in my heart that makes me conform to other's expectations and keep my guard up?"

The most important principal to remember is this paradox: We are our most authentic selves when we become like Jesus. It is in putting Him on as a garment that we are freed to find and be our true selves. To be a truly authentic person, one has to have an intentional philosophy of life to live by. The most freeing philosophy is that of surrendering to the rule of Jesus Christ. It is in trusting Him that the fear factor is taken out of your life. It is in obedience to Him that our words are spoken with wisdom rather than "shoot-from-the-hip" emotion. That is what is required for true marital intimacy.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THE POWER OF RITUAL

"For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until He comes" (I Corinthians 11:26).

In modern western culture we have devalued the necessity and power of ritual. In psychotherapy and contemporary Christian religion, we have invented our own substitute rituals because we understand that people need to recognize a foundational turning point in their lives. But why use substitutes when the real thing is easily available. Baptism is the statement of trust in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ for our salvation. Participation in the Lord's Supper is renewing that statement of trust. In my congregation, we observe the Lord's Supper each week for this reason. We are as human as any one else, and as subject to the frailties of the flesh as much as anybody else. We need to strengthen our trust and renew our faith each week. Once a week is not too often.

I say this because I wanted to share a blurb from Neil Clark Warren, of E-harmoney fame, that is applicable in this regard:

"That's exactly why I am proposing to change the frequency of the marriage vow. Instead of its being taken once in a lifetime under stressful conditions, I suggest that it needs to be said two to three times a week for the first ten years of marriage--and at least once a week for the rest of marriage. Why? In order to maintain a steady focus on the promises that form the steel framework of the marriage. With this structure in place, it is much more likely that commitment will shape the attitudes of a person, as well as the behavioral expression of those attitudes."

During stressful times in marriage, wedding vows seem like yesterday's news. They seem remote and irrelevant. It is in repetition of the vows that relevancy is restored. I hate to admit it, but I have not repeted my vows to Helen since we were married--it's like being baptized, but never taking the Lord's Supper.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

BEWARE OF THE FACTOIDS

Though it has always been true in the old media, in the age of the internet it is even more true, beware of the factoids! Norman Mailer coined the term and defined it, "A factoid is something that looks like a fact, could be a fact, but in fact is not a fact." Now if that quote is not a fact, don't blame me. It came from a column by Wesley Pruden.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

SIGNS IN THE HEAVENS

"Learn not the way of nations, nor be dismayed at the signs of the heavens because the nations are dismayed at them, for the customs of the peoples are false" (Jeremiah 10:2).

There is a huge amount of anxiety in our culture about global warming, so much so that there are people who are ready to "cash in" their God-given rights to stop it. It appears that there is consensus in the scientific community that global warming is a reality and if we do not do something about it, humanity will become extinct--if not all life. To me it is interesting that believers in macro evolution, that life formed from inert matter, would have this much anxiety about "global warming" at all. After all, humanity is the problem. If it became extinct some life form would adapt and evolve and start the whole process over again--maybe in a better way.

Of course, any time a group of scientists get together with a political agenda, their consensus becomes junk science. It was the scientific consensus that there would be many hurricanes during the last season. There was not. If the scientists cannot accurately forcast a hurricane season 6 months ahead of time, why should we believe that they can forcast what would happen if global warming really is a reality? I have a suspicion that one simply needs to look at the "money trail" and political agendas to get to the bottom of the "scientific consensus" on global warming.

The signs in the heavens could well be a sign of the times. The Hebrews understood that there were 3 heavens: the atmosphere was the first heaven; where the sun, moon and stars are constituted the second heaven and the place where God resides constituted the third. Global warming qualifies as a sign in the heavens because it is in the atmosphere. One of the qualities of a corrupt generation is when its fears come from the imaginations of its heart. Trust and obey the Lord. It's gonna be OK.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

FAMININE?

"Hear this word, you cows of Bashan, who are in the mountain of Sameria, who oppress the poor, who crush the needy, who say to their husbands, 'Bring, that we may drink!'" (Amos 4:1).

"Husker Red" gave me a little heat for my poor spelling ability. Yet "faminine" is not a mispelled word--I just coined a new one. Famines have to do with scarcity and dryness. Femininity has to do with qualities of the female gender. When a system is excessively female driven and there is a scarcity of masculine and Spiritual leadership that is what is a "faminine system." It is one of the most common systems in Western culture. The father with draws from a dominating female influence in the family, church or workplace. The result of such a system is just as dysfunctional as when there is too much male dominance. Is your family, church, workplace, or government too faminine?

It is interesting to me that this dynamic is not new. It has been present in every era of history when men have not lived up to their God-given responsibility to be the Spiritual leaders in their homes. The hen-pecked husbands of Israel of which Amos speaks are but one example.

Grace&Peace;
Tom