ABOUT BEING AUTHENTIC

"I have discovered that no marriage can be triumphant until both people are able to be fully and freely themselves" (Neil Clark Warren).

"And we all with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being changed into his likeness from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit" (II Corinthians 3:18).

Psychologists tell us that one of the characteristics of good mental health is the ability to be authentic; to be able to live with your guard down; to be able to be a self, not the self someone else wants you to be. Now that sounds good, but there are some good reasons for a person to have his guard up--one might get punched in the nose if he doesn't. There are some good reasons for one to be the self someone else expects him to be--he might not graduate or he might be fired from his job. There are inumerable people who authentically wanted to say, "take this job and shove it" to their boss, but didn't.

One principal I want you to remember is that you cannot not be authentic. Pardon the use of a double negative. A counterfeit dollar bill is a genuine counterfeit dollar bill--it is what it is, a real counterfeit dollar bill. You are what you are doing. Jesus said that it is out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The totality of our behavior is the mouth speaking. The question we all need to ask ourselves is, "What is in my heart that makes me conform to other's expectations and keep my guard up?"

The most important principal to remember is this paradox: We are our most authentic selves when we become like Jesus. It is in putting Him on as a garment that we are freed to find and be our true selves. To be a truly authentic person, one has to have an intentional philosophy of life to live by. The most freeing philosophy is that of surrendering to the rule of Jesus Christ. It is in trusting Him that the fear factor is taken out of your life. It is in obedience to Him that our words are spoken with wisdom rather than "shoot-from-the-hip" emotion. That is what is required for true marital intimacy.

Grace&Peace,
Tom