CHANGE: INSIDE OUT OR OUTSIDE IN?

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

It is a truism that there must be changes on the inside so that there can be changes on the outside of a person. But sometimes internal change begins with changes in external behavior. There is evidence both from research and the Bible that what one does on the outside effects what is on the inside too.

There is an old saying which has been very helpful to people with phobias, "Do the thing you fear and fear will pass from you." When one is able to confront the thing that frightens him, then the fear that is on the inside will go away.

Outside action is a powerful influence on the attitude of the heart. When parents deal with the outside behaviors of their children through congruence between proper teaching and personal example, then the inside commitment of the child's heart to the Lord is almost a forgone conclusion (Proverbs 22:6 and Hebrews 5:14). On the negative side of this principle is Colossians 1:21, "Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior." Jesus taught that we are to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us. Why? Not that they will become our friends, but that we will change what we think about them.

Modifying external behavior to effect internal change is the guiding principle of several therapeutic interventions. At virtually all juvenile residential treatment facilities, swearing is not allowed in casual conversation because it is recognized that swearing negative effects personal and other resident' attitudes. Dr. William Glasser says in Reality Therapy, "People do not act irresponsibly because they are 'ill'; they are 'ill' because they act irresponsibly" (p.XV). In reality therapy it is assumed that responsible behavior will result in good mental health.

A conversion of the heart does not automatically determine that one's outward behavior will change; anyone who has worked with Christians who have addictions can attest to that truth (note also Romans 7:17-20).

Ultimately, there must be a change on the inside! No behavior change will be permanent without it. It has to be understood that Proverbs 22:6 is not a promise but a probability. If the child does not internalize her training she will go her own way rather than God's way.

Grace&Peace,
Tom