Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness . . ." (Genesis 1:26).
One of the most commonly accepted doctrines in Christendom is the doctrine of original sin, the belief that sin is in human nature. It is so embedded in human nature that even the remission of sin found in Jesus Christ cannot eradicate it, for it continues to be passed along to the children of Christian parents.
It seems to me that a doctrine that makes the sin of Adam a more powerful dynamic than the redemption and pardon found in Jesus Christ is suspect. If the doctrine of original sin is such an obvious teaching of Scripture, why is it that the earliest creeds of the church, the Apostle's Creed and the Nicene Creed, did not teach it? Because the earliest Christians still held an Apostolic view of the fall; they understood the difference between guilt and consequences. We do not bear the guilt of Adam's sin, but we share in the consequences, two of which are these:
1) When sin entered the world through Adam's disobedience, he passed from a state of innocence to a state of personal accountability. We share in that consequence.
2) When Adam and Eve were removed from the Garden, they no longer had access to the tree of life, thus their physical death was a forgone conclusion. We share in the consequence of physical death too, for the same reason.
If there is something in the make up of a human being that is passed from one generation to another, it is original righteousness--we are created in the image of God. Though all humanity has fallen into sin, following the desires of the flesh, the wisdom of the world and the seduction of satan, the image has not been blotted out! Beings created in the image of God have great nobility! Beings created in the image of God have a great responsibility! Beings created in the image of God have a great Savior!
The doctrine of Original Sin is a doctrine of death. The doctrine of Original Righteousness is a doctrine of hope!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
THE REAL WASHINGTON
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves (James 1:22).
One of the disadvantages of being dead is that those who are living can make any kind of person out of you that they want. Evidence can be bent enough to make the dead person into the image that the historian chooses. So it has been with the life of our first President, George Washington*. There have been historians who contended that Washington was a deist and not a Christian because he did not speak of Christ very often. He did not speak of Christ often, that is true, but when he did it was powerful. Proclaiming the first Thanksgiving holiday, Washington said,
It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor.
In an address to his soldiers he said, To the distinguished character of patriot, it should be our highest glory to add the more distinguished character of Christian.
Powerful stuff!! His words represent the thinking of the great majority of our founding fathers!
Washington's personal motto was, Deeds not words. He was a doer who did not spend a lot of time talking. What our deeds say is the real truth about who we are. When Henry Lee, interestingly, the father of Robert E. Lee, gave Washington's funeral oration, he said about him,
First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen. To that we say, AMEN for he was our first and best president.
Remember, Washington's birthday is the 22nd.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
* Much of the information in this devotion I owe to the research of Peter A. Lillback, Ph. D. and the History News Network of George Mason University, 2-12-07.
One of the disadvantages of being dead is that those who are living can make any kind of person out of you that they want. Evidence can be bent enough to make the dead person into the image that the historian chooses. So it has been with the life of our first President, George Washington*. There have been historians who contended that Washington was a deist and not a Christian because he did not speak of Christ very often. He did not speak of Christ often, that is true, but when he did it was powerful. Proclaiming the first Thanksgiving holiday, Washington said,
It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor.
In an address to his soldiers he said, To the distinguished character of patriot, it should be our highest glory to add the more distinguished character of Christian.
Powerful stuff!! His words represent the thinking of the great majority of our founding fathers!
Washington's personal motto was, Deeds not words. He was a doer who did not spend a lot of time talking. What our deeds say is the real truth about who we are. When Henry Lee, interestingly, the father of Robert E. Lee, gave Washington's funeral oration, he said about him,
First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen. To that we say, AMEN for he was our first and best president.
Remember, Washington's birthday is the 22nd.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
* Much of the information in this devotion I owe to the research of Peter A. Lillback, Ph. D. and the History News Network of George Mason University, 2-12-07.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
ALEXANDER CHOSE SIDES ON VALENTINE'S DAY
. . . baptism that now saves you also--not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ. . .(I Peter 3:21 NIV).
When my grandson, Alexander, was baptized on Valentine's day I was thinking, "Now Alexander has officially chosen sides." In a sense, Alexander has been a Christian all of his ten years of life. He has Christian parents who have taught and modeled the teachings of Christ his whole life long. Ninety per cent of the time, when there is congruence between what the parents say they believe and their actual behavior, the children will adopt the parent's faith. That is the way it is with Alexander. But, on Valentine's Day, Alexander made it official. In baptism he made the pledge to serve our Lord Jesus Christ and to trust our savior, Jesus Christ, for salvation.
The term that is translated "pledge" is also translated "answer" in other versions of the Bible. Giving an answer or making a pledge are essential in making a vow or a covenant. In this case, in baptism, one swears by the blood of Jesus--the covenant is signed in the blood of Jesus and sealed in the Holy Spirit. Alexander now has all the blessings of the New Covenant available to him. He now has all of its responsibilities too, that of living a life of service to Jesus Christ.
Have you publicly pledged, on Christ's terms, not your own, your trust in and your service to Jesus Christ? Alexander has.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
When my grandson, Alexander, was baptized on Valentine's day I was thinking, "Now Alexander has officially chosen sides." In a sense, Alexander has been a Christian all of his ten years of life. He has Christian parents who have taught and modeled the teachings of Christ his whole life long. Ninety per cent of the time, when there is congruence between what the parents say they believe and their actual behavior, the children will adopt the parent's faith. That is the way it is with Alexander. But, on Valentine's Day, Alexander made it official. In baptism he made the pledge to serve our Lord Jesus Christ and to trust our savior, Jesus Christ, for salvation.
The term that is translated "pledge" is also translated "answer" in other versions of the Bible. Giving an answer or making a pledge are essential in making a vow or a covenant. In this case, in baptism, one swears by the blood of Jesus--the covenant is signed in the blood of Jesus and sealed in the Holy Spirit. Alexander now has all the blessings of the New Covenant available to him. He now has all of its responsibilities too, that of living a life of service to Jesus Christ.
Have you publicly pledged, on Christ's terms, not your own, your trust in and your service to Jesus Christ? Alexander has.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Lincoln & Darwin, Their 200th Birthday
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth . . . Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth" (Genesis 1:1, 26 RSV).
The great emancipator, Abraham Lincoln, and best articulator of the theory of evolution, Charles Darwin, share the same birthday, February 12, 1809. A quote from each man is revealing. In them we see the implications of the logical consequences of their different faiths.
First, a quote from Lincoln's second inaugural address, spoken near the end of America's costliest war, the Civil War:
With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds . . .
Now a quote from Darwin found on Google's Brainy Quotes:
At some future period, not very distant as measured by centuries, the civilized races of man will almost certainly exterminate, and replace the savage races through out the world.
The legacy of Lincoln is that the preserved Union became best nation in the history of the world. Treating people, no matter who they are, as God's creation and worthy of love, had a great deal to do with America's strength and goodness.
The legacy of social Darwinism is grim. Sigmund Freud, Margaret Sanger, Hitler, Stalin, etc. followed the logical conclusions of social Darwinism and the result has been a story of pain, blood and death.
Oh yes, Darwin was a man of faith. Though his disavowed faith in the God of the Bible, he adopted faith in nature, about which knowledge is not absolute. I'm sure that when he met God, who has absolute knowledge, there was weeping and gnashing of teeth!
Which birthday do you want to celebrate?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
The great emancipator, Abraham Lincoln, and best articulator of the theory of evolution, Charles Darwin, share the same birthday, February 12, 1809. A quote from each man is revealing. In them we see the implications of the logical consequences of their different faiths.
First, a quote from Lincoln's second inaugural address, spoken near the end of America's costliest war, the Civil War:
With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds . . .
Now a quote from Darwin found on Google's Brainy Quotes:
At some future period, not very distant as measured by centuries, the civilized races of man will almost certainly exterminate, and replace the savage races through out the world.
The legacy of Lincoln is that the preserved Union became best nation in the history of the world. Treating people, no matter who they are, as God's creation and worthy of love, had a great deal to do with America's strength and goodness.
The legacy of social Darwinism is grim. Sigmund Freud, Margaret Sanger, Hitler, Stalin, etc. followed the logical conclusions of social Darwinism and the result has been a story of pain, blood and death.
Oh yes, Darwin was a man of faith. Though his disavowed faith in the God of the Bible, he adopted faith in nature, about which knowledge is not absolute. I'm sure that when he met God, who has absolute knowledge, there was weeping and gnashing of teeth!
Which birthday do you want to celebrate?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Monday, February 09, 2009
WHAT IS SELF-CONTROL? 2
Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable (I Corinthians 9:25).
John Tierny, New York Time columnist, wrote an article called, For Good Self-control, Try Getting Religious About It.* In it he cited research done by the Universities of Miami and Maryland which confirmed that religious people do tend to be more self-controlled than nonreligious people.
Why is that? Faith gives us purpose to live in a certain way so that we can live intentionally rather than simply being victims of our feelings, impulses and urges. Faith not only restrains us from negative behaviors, it motivates us to do right behaviors in spite of our feelings. Much of what is called "depression" is simply a lack of self-control. Faith gives us a reason and it gives us a resource to get up and get going. The dynamic of the Holy Spirit is essential to the formation of self-control in our lives--the fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control (Galatians 5:23)!!
Faith in Christ does not mean that self-control problems will vanish, but it is the necessary first-step to a life of real purpose and fulfillment.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
John Tierny, New York Time columnist, wrote an article called, For Good Self-control, Try Getting Religious About It.* In it he cited research done by the Universities of Miami and Maryland which confirmed that religious people do tend to be more self-controlled than nonreligious people.
Why is that? Faith gives us purpose to live in a certain way so that we can live intentionally rather than simply being victims of our feelings, impulses and urges. Faith not only restrains us from negative behaviors, it motivates us to do right behaviors in spite of our feelings. Much of what is called "depression" is simply a lack of self-control. Faith gives us a reason and it gives us a resource to get up and get going. The dynamic of the Holy Spirit is essential to the formation of self-control in our lives--the fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control (Galatians 5:23)!!
Faith in Christ does not mean that self-control problems will vanish, but it is the necessary first-step to a life of real purpose and fulfillment.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Sunday, February 08, 2009
WHAT IS SELF-CONTROL?
Like a city breached, without walls, is one who lacks self-control (Proverbs 25:28).
A quote attributed to Rupert Brooke says, "The worst of slaves is he whom passion rules." After reading a little about his life on Wikipedia, I believe his wisdom resulted from his own personal battles for self-control.
One of the greatest expressions of love for God, humanity and self is simple self-control. Those who possess self-control are trustworthy and dependable. They can keep in check obsessive, compulsive and unacceptable behaviors. The one with self-control is one who is able to hold over-emotional responses in check as well. Fear, anger and selfishness always bring about destruction and sorrow and seldom work for the benefit of anyone, including one's self--it is hard to have enduring relationships and gainful employment without self-control.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
A quote attributed to Rupert Brooke says, "The worst of slaves is he whom passion rules." After reading a little about his life on Wikipedia, I believe his wisdom resulted from his own personal battles for self-control.
One of the greatest expressions of love for God, humanity and self is simple self-control. Those who possess self-control are trustworthy and dependable. They can keep in check obsessive, compulsive and unacceptable behaviors. The one with self-control is one who is able to hold over-emotional responses in check as well. Fear, anger and selfishness always bring about destruction and sorrow and seldom work for the benefit of anyone, including one's self--it is hard to have enduring relationships and gainful employment without self-control.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
GRACE EVENTS
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all, training us to renounce impiety and worldly passions, and in the present age to live lives that are self-controlled, upright, and godly . . . (Titus 2:11-12).
As a Christian counselor, one of the assumptions I make when a person, a couple or a family comes with a problem is that God is already at work in their lives. God has created us. Jesus has died for us all. God has not abandoned those whom He loves. The problem itself can be a grace event that prods a person to change and to grow. We think of grace in the terms of being made safe from God's wrath, but salvation is much more than that! Salvation also means becoming spiritually complete, whole and healthy servants of God. Grace is the environment in which we live. It is how God brings about healthy and good change into our lives. Therefore, when we have problems we should think of them as grace events. Problems are grace events not because God caused them, but because He alone is the One who can bring good out of our worst problems. That "good" being the change, growth and maturation of those He loves.
Thinking about our problems in this way helps us recognize the solutions that God opens up to us.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
As a Christian counselor, one of the assumptions I make when a person, a couple or a family comes with a problem is that God is already at work in their lives. God has created us. Jesus has died for us all. God has not abandoned those whom He loves. The problem itself can be a grace event that prods a person to change and to grow. We think of grace in the terms of being made safe from God's wrath, but salvation is much more than that! Salvation also means becoming spiritually complete, whole and healthy servants of God. Grace is the environment in which we live. It is how God brings about healthy and good change into our lives. Therefore, when we have problems we should think of them as grace events. Problems are grace events not because God caused them, but because He alone is the One who can bring good out of our worst problems. That "good" being the change, growth and maturation of those He loves.
Thinking about our problems in this way helps us recognize the solutions that God opens up to us.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Monday, February 02, 2009
WHO IS PRECIOUS IN HIS SIGHT?
Do not begin to say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our ancestor'; for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children to Abraham (Luke 3:8).
I do not know very much about Clare Herbert Woolston except that he has the same name as a shirt-tail relative of mine and that he was a preacher in Chicago during the late 19th century and the early 20th century. Also he authored the words to a little children's song that we used to sing in Sunday school when I was a little boy, Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and Yellow, Black and White, all are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world. I imagine that serving the Lord in a city like Chicago proved to be the source of inspiration for this little song.
How is it that anyone who trusts in the God of Bible could have ever thought that God loves one race more than another? I am familiar with some of the reasons given, but they all ring hollow. God is concerned about what is in a person's heart and character. Least of all is he concerned with the color of their skin; it is not an issue with Him!
Genocide is evil, yet there is a slow genocide that is against the unborn, and particularly, the Black unborn. Blacks make up a little less than 15 percent of the American population, but Black babies account for 36 percent of the abortion total. God weeps just as much for an unborn black baby who was denied the gift of life as an aborted white baby. Which one of them might have been a future President?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
I do not know very much about Clare Herbert Woolston except that he has the same name as a shirt-tail relative of mine and that he was a preacher in Chicago during the late 19th century and the early 20th century. Also he authored the words to a little children's song that we used to sing in Sunday school when I was a little boy, Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and Yellow, Black and White, all are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world. I imagine that serving the Lord in a city like Chicago proved to be the source of inspiration for this little song.
How is it that anyone who trusts in the God of Bible could have ever thought that God loves one race more than another? I am familiar with some of the reasons given, but they all ring hollow. God is concerned about what is in a person's heart and character. Least of all is he concerned with the color of their skin; it is not an issue with Him!
Genocide is evil, yet there is a slow genocide that is against the unborn, and particularly, the Black unborn. Blacks make up a little less than 15 percent of the American population, but Black babies account for 36 percent of the abortion total. God weeps just as much for an unborn black baby who was denied the gift of life as an aborted white baby. Which one of them might have been a future President?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
THIS IS THE DAY
This is the day which the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it (Psalms 118:24).
If 1 is awful and 10 is fantastic, on a scale of 1 to 10, how are you feeling today?
It is at least an implication, if not a direct command, of this text to find something in each day to rejoice about. Learning to rejoice in difficult circumstances is a skill not taught in public schools, or any other school* for that matter, yet it is a basic skill for success in life. Check out the biographies of successful people and see if that is not the case. It should be taught across the curriculum. I can see it now, a unit of "Rejoicing in Physics."
Our prayer request for each day should be, "Help me to see the good in this day."
Grace&Peace,
Tom
*Once in a while Sunday schools touch on it.
If 1 is awful and 10 is fantastic, on a scale of 1 to 10, how are you feeling today?
It is at least an implication, if not a direct command, of this text to find something in each day to rejoice about. Learning to rejoice in difficult circumstances is a skill not taught in public schools, or any other school* for that matter, yet it is a basic skill for success in life. Check out the biographies of successful people and see if that is not the case. It should be taught across the curriculum. I can see it now, a unit of "Rejoicing in Physics."
Our prayer request for each day should be, "Help me to see the good in this day."
Grace&Peace,
Tom
*Once in a while Sunday schools touch on it.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
A WORD TO A FRIEND
I received word from a friend today that death over took her brother very unexpectedly. These words are for her and for all and for all who are dealing with grief:
The Lord is near to the broken hearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the Lord delivers him out of them all (Psalms 34:18-19).
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
The Lord is near to the broken hearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the Lord delivers him out of them all (Psalms 34:18-19).
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Friday, January 23, 2009
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO SINK IN THE SEA OF GOD'S LOVE
"Thou hast made us like sheep for slaughter, and hast scattered us among the nations, Thou hast sold thy people for a trifle, demanding no high price for them. Thou hast made us the taunt of our neighbors; the derision and scorn of those about us, Thou hast made us a byword among the nations, a laughingstock among the peoples . . ." (Psalm 44:11-14).
I had the honor of officiating my uncle Harry's funeral on Monday. He would have been 101 years of age in April. Harry Warren was my uncle by marriage, having been married to my mother's sister, Joyce, who passed away 16 years ago.
The Scripture text I used for the funeral sermon was from Romans 8:31-39. The text is very comforting, speaking about nothing being able to separate us from the love of God, except that in the middle of the text Paul uses this quote from Psalm 44, ". . .we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." That has always been a difficult text for me. How could the apostle Paul ruin such a beautiful thought about God's love by adding such a negative thought?
One of the reasons I believe that the Bible is truly the word of God is that it truly reveals and recognizes the pain of humanity. People are not condemned for expressing their hurt and anger to God. How could God allow such talk to be expressed to Him as it is in Psalm 44? He does because He understands our pain and grief! And do you know what? HE STILL LOVES US!!!
"No! In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us. For I am sure that neither death nor life; angels or principalities; things present or things to come; nor powers; nor height nor depth; nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, our Lord" (Romans 8:27-29).
So,what I thought was negative is really a positive. Even when we are angry with God, that cannot separate us from His love. Almost exactly a year ago, January 19th, I was swimming on the Dead Sea. It is impossible to sink in the Dead Sea. I do not swim very well, so for me it was very comforting to swim in waters that I could trust to hold me up. It the same way, it is impossible to sink in the sea of God's love.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
I had the honor of officiating my uncle Harry's funeral on Monday. He would have been 101 years of age in April. Harry Warren was my uncle by marriage, having been married to my mother's sister, Joyce, who passed away 16 years ago.
The Scripture text I used for the funeral sermon was from Romans 8:31-39. The text is very comforting, speaking about nothing being able to separate us from the love of God, except that in the middle of the text Paul uses this quote from Psalm 44, ". . .we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." That has always been a difficult text for me. How could the apostle Paul ruin such a beautiful thought about God's love by adding such a negative thought?
One of the reasons I believe that the Bible is truly the word of God is that it truly reveals and recognizes the pain of humanity. People are not condemned for expressing their hurt and anger to God. How could God allow such talk to be expressed to Him as it is in Psalm 44? He does because He understands our pain and grief! And do you know what? HE STILL LOVES US!!!
"No! In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us. For I am sure that neither death nor life; angels or principalities; things present or things to come; nor powers; nor height nor depth; nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, our Lord" (Romans 8:27-29).
So,what I thought was negative is really a positive. Even when we are angry with God, that cannot separate us from His love. Almost exactly a year ago, January 19th, I was swimming on the Dead Sea. It is impossible to sink in the Dead Sea. I do not swim very well, so for me it was very comforting to swim in waters that I could trust to hold me up. It the same way, it is impossible to sink in the sea of God's love.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
TO BE WITH 4
"'Behold, the Virgin shall be with child and shall bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,' which translated means, 'God with us'" (Matthew 1:23).
"I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you" (John 14:16-17).
"Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest . . . For since He himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted" (Hebrews 2:17-18).
The testimony of Scripture is clear. God wants to be with us, not just in a theoretical theology, but in a tangible reality! God became flesh, like you and me--He knows what it is like to be human! He is on your side! His Spirit walks along side you, making provision for your life. Not only that, He desires to live in you and strengthen you with might in your inner self IF you surrender to His will.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
I'm not sure if "To Be With" was a random thought or one that the Lord placed in my mind for me to write about. However, if anything I have written about "To Be With" has helped you, I am sure it was the latter!
"I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you" (John 14:16-17).
"Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest . . . For since He himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted" (Hebrews 2:17-18).
The testimony of Scripture is clear. God wants to be with us, not just in a theoretical theology, but in a tangible reality! God became flesh, like you and me--He knows what it is like to be human! He is on your side! His Spirit walks along side you, making provision for your life. Not only that, He desires to live in you and strengthen you with might in your inner self IF you surrender to His will.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
I'm not sure if "To Be With" was a random thought or one that the Lord placed in my mind for me to write about. However, if anything I have written about "To Be With" has helped you, I am sure it was the latter!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
TO BE WITH 3
"Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
A great many marriages fail; some as a result of addictions, some as a result of abuse and some as a result of affairs. When I see clients who see themselves as victims of a spouse's failures, at some point in the counseling process I always ask them, "What did you contribute to your spouse's failure?" Every apparently "Innocent victim" needs to do some honest self-examination to consider the possibility that he or she contributed something to the failures of the spouse.
Could it have been the lack of real presence? How can you make love to a spouse whose mind is a million miles away at work? How can you really be with some one who is a constant critic? These defile the marriage bed too because they prevent two people from really being with each other.
While there is no sufficient cause for sexual marital infidelity, abuse and addictions, yet the infidelities of workaholism, negative criticism or other-people pleasing can surely be contributing factors.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
A great many marriages fail; some as a result of addictions, some as a result of abuse and some as a result of affairs. When I see clients who see themselves as victims of a spouse's failures, at some point in the counseling process I always ask them, "What did you contribute to your spouse's failure?" Every apparently "Innocent victim" needs to do some honest self-examination to consider the possibility that he or she contributed something to the failures of the spouse.
Could it have been the lack of real presence? How can you make love to a spouse whose mind is a million miles away at work? How can you really be with some one who is a constant critic? These defile the marriage bed too because they prevent two people from really being with each other.
While there is no sufficient cause for sexual marital infidelity, abuse and addictions, yet the infidelities of workaholism, negative criticism or other-people pleasing can surely be contributing factors.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Sunday, January 11, 2009
TO BE WITH 2
"Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?" (Amos 3:3).
Taking a journey with another person requires a certain level of agreement, depending on the kind of journey that is about to be traveled. Going on a tour of the Holy Land with a group does not require the same level of agreement and commitment as going on a life journey of marriage.
On the issue of defining marriage as a faith relationship between a man and a woman, I would gladly stand with a Mormon. On the sanctity of life issue I would gladly stand shoulder to shoulder with a Roman Catholic even though with both Mormons and Roman Catholics I have some serious theological differences and could not travel the whole faith journey with them. Just because I cannot travel the whole faith journey with them does not mean that I cannot be thankful for the positive faith influences that they bring to our culture.
"Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (II Corinthians 6:14).
When it comes to life journeys, like marriage, business partnerships or even intimate friendships, there, of necessity, has to be common values, a common faith, a common way of looking at life. Often these days, a common religious faith is discounted, believing that love conquers all. But, in all too many of these marriages there is a great deal of unhappiness because of the differences of faith and values.
There is an old adage that says, "opposites attract." Actually it is true, and for a while it does seem exciting, but what is also true is that a relationship with another has a much greater chance of success over the long term if the people in the relationship are more alike rather than different! Relationships in which the partners are very much alike still have enough differences to make things exciting!
To really be with another in a relationship, find someone who is more alike who is more alike rather than different!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Taking a journey with another person requires a certain level of agreement, depending on the kind of journey that is about to be traveled. Going on a tour of the Holy Land with a group does not require the same level of agreement and commitment as going on a life journey of marriage.
On the issue of defining marriage as a faith relationship between a man and a woman, I would gladly stand with a Mormon. On the sanctity of life issue I would gladly stand shoulder to shoulder with a Roman Catholic even though with both Mormons and Roman Catholics I have some serious theological differences and could not travel the whole faith journey with them. Just because I cannot travel the whole faith journey with them does not mean that I cannot be thankful for the positive faith influences that they bring to our culture.
"Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (II Corinthians 6:14).
When it comes to life journeys, like marriage, business partnerships or even intimate friendships, there, of necessity, has to be common values, a common faith, a common way of looking at life. Often these days, a common religious faith is discounted, believing that love conquers all. But, in all too many of these marriages there is a great deal of unhappiness because of the differences of faith and values.
There is an old adage that says, "opposites attract." Actually it is true, and for a while it does seem exciting, but what is also true is that a relationship with another has a much greater chance of success over the long term if the people in the relationship are more alike rather than different! Relationships in which the partners are very much alike still have enough differences to make things exciting!
To really be with another in a relationship, find someone who is more alike who is more alike rather than different!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
TO BE WITH
How to Be Fun to Be With - wikiHow
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law" (Galatians 5:22-23).
Expressing myself, either in writing or orally, is not easy for me and yet this skill is essential to what I do as a pastor and counselor. Often, what I write here is the rough draft of what will follow for a devotional or a sermon--it is part of a creative process for me. Such is what follows. If it seems not to make sense, or be disconnected, that is why. If you follow me all the way through this, perhaps you will get a clue as to how my mind works.
If a "hit man" was trying to discover my routine so that he could "take me out," he wouldn't have to work very hard. Twice a day I walk my dog, Obie, for a mile, most usually early in the morning and late in the evening--I would be an easy target. It was during one of those walks with Obie that I was thinking about possible topics to write about that this phrase came to mind completely "out of the blue," "To be with." I do like the challenge of making something meaningful come from a random thought, and yet, was it a random thought? I will be sharing some of my thoughts about what it means "to be with" in the next couple of posts.
The first part of "being with" has to do with being the kind of person one wants to be with. I "googled" the phrase "to be with" and one of the things I came up with was the article from wiki posted above. I thought it was good enough to share. However, if a person is a Christian, with the fruit of the Spirit growing in his life, there should be a winsomeness that makes him or her good to be with.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law" (Galatians 5:22-23).
Expressing myself, either in writing or orally, is not easy for me and yet this skill is essential to what I do as a pastor and counselor. Often, what I write here is the rough draft of what will follow for a devotional or a sermon--it is part of a creative process for me. Such is what follows. If it seems not to make sense, or be disconnected, that is why. If you follow me all the way through this, perhaps you will get a clue as to how my mind works.
If a "hit man" was trying to discover my routine so that he could "take me out," he wouldn't have to work very hard. Twice a day I walk my dog, Obie, for a mile, most usually early in the morning and late in the evening--I would be an easy target. It was during one of those walks with Obie that I was thinking about possible topics to write about that this phrase came to mind completely "out of the blue," "To be with." I do like the challenge of making something meaningful come from a random thought, and yet, was it a random thought? I will be sharing some of my thoughts about what it means "to be with" in the next couple of posts.
The first part of "being with" has to do with being the kind of person one wants to be with. I "googled" the phrase "to be with" and one of the things I came up with was the article from wiki posted above. I thought it was good enough to share. However, if a person is a Christian, with the fruit of the Spirit growing in his life, there should be a winsomeness that makes him or her good to be with.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
PRAYER THOUGHT FOR 2009
"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words" (Romans 8:26).
"In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart" (John Bunyon).
Grace&Peace,
Tom
"In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart" (John Bunyon).
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Thursday, December 18, 2008
BLIND SPOTS
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23-24).
Blind spots; we all have them. Physically, there is a spot on the retina of each eye where the optic nerve is attached; there are no rods and cones on that spot so there is no sight in that place. Every person has a blind spot in each eye--that should make you want to look twice before you pull out into traffic.
Actually, a blind spot is any lack of self-awareness, it can be physical, psychological, social or spiritual. A blind spot can cause destruction, death and mayhem simply because one wasn't willing to look twice before pulling out into traffic; the psychological, social and spiritual consequences can be just as devastating if a blind spot is not acknowledged.
First, social and emotional blind spots can have a physical cause, for instance, a person with Aspberger's Syndrome lacks mirror neurons in his brain which enable him to read the emotions of another. It is, therefore, extremely difficult for him to have appropriate sensitivity in social situations because he cannot "see" and so life is much more difficult for him. A whole list of brain dysfunctions could be compiled that cause a lack of social and emotional awareness.
Unrecognized bias and prejudice also create blind spots. To make decisions simply on the basis of felt beliefs without examining them can be very dangerous and be the cause a lot of collateral pain.
Most people go around in a kind of hypnotic state open to the power of suggestion. When the conventional worldly wisdom makes a suggestion, we tend to hop on the bandwagon. When one refuses to consider that the conventional wisdom might be wrong then a huge blind spot is created. Just six months ago, who would have believed we would be dealing with such a bad economy as this? The conventional wisdom said otherwise! And, who would have thought that a guy running a ponzi scheme could cheat some very "smart" people out of fifty billion dollars? Anyone who questioned his "investment" scheme was thought to be stupid.
Now there are some people who will never admit to having a blind spot--narcissist and other self-absorbed people come to mind. But, for the rest of us, especially during this Festivus season (I couldn't resist), it is important to remember that we do have some places in our lives where there is a lack of awareness and need to ask for God's help to see them. The Lord may send a mean-spirited critic to help us see. Our worst critics can be our best friends if there is truth in their criticisms. The Lord has given us His Word, His Spirit, teachers, preachers, counselors and may be even a mean-spirited critic to help us see.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Blind spots; we all have them. Physically, there is a spot on the retina of each eye where the optic nerve is attached; there are no rods and cones on that spot so there is no sight in that place. Every person has a blind spot in each eye--that should make you want to look twice before you pull out into traffic.
Actually, a blind spot is any lack of self-awareness, it can be physical, psychological, social or spiritual. A blind spot can cause destruction, death and mayhem simply because one wasn't willing to look twice before pulling out into traffic; the psychological, social and spiritual consequences can be just as devastating if a blind spot is not acknowledged.
First, social and emotional blind spots can have a physical cause, for instance, a person with Aspberger's Syndrome lacks mirror neurons in his brain which enable him to read the emotions of another. It is, therefore, extremely difficult for him to have appropriate sensitivity in social situations because he cannot "see" and so life is much more difficult for him. A whole list of brain dysfunctions could be compiled that cause a lack of social and emotional awareness.
Unrecognized bias and prejudice also create blind spots. To make decisions simply on the basis of felt beliefs without examining them can be very dangerous and be the cause a lot of collateral pain.
Most people go around in a kind of hypnotic state open to the power of suggestion. When the conventional worldly wisdom makes a suggestion, we tend to hop on the bandwagon. When one refuses to consider that the conventional wisdom might be wrong then a huge blind spot is created. Just six months ago, who would have believed we would be dealing with such a bad economy as this? The conventional wisdom said otherwise! And, who would have thought that a guy running a ponzi scheme could cheat some very "smart" people out of fifty billion dollars? Anyone who questioned his "investment" scheme was thought to be stupid.
Now there are some people who will never admit to having a blind spot--narcissist and other self-absorbed people come to mind. But, for the rest of us, especially during this Festivus season (I couldn't resist), it is important to remember that we do have some places in our lives where there is a lack of awareness and need to ask for God's help to see them. The Lord may send a mean-spirited critic to help us see. Our worst critics can be our best friends if there is truth in their criticisms. The Lord has given us His Word, His Spirit, teachers, preachers, counselors and may be even a mean-spirited critic to help us see.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Thursday, December 11, 2008
WHAT TO KEEP & WHAT TO THROW AWAY 3
In an earlier post I related How Helen was going through all of the memorabilia stored in a bed room that we want to use when we have our family home for Christmas. One of the items Helen had sorted for the "Sacred Fire"* was a 1907 charcoal sketch of Abraham Lincoln with these words by Lincoln printed beneath the picture:
"I do the very best I know how--the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference." --Abraham Lincoln.
Lincoln had a way of putting life into perspective. George Bush would especially benefit from these words, as would we all.
The picture is in poor condition, but I thought with appropriate cropping and matting it could be a great antique wall hanging again. Should I keep it or should I give it a dignified end?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
*The "Sacred Fire" is a fire ring in our back yard dedicated to the burning of memorabilia not important enough to keep, but too dear just to be tossed in the dumpster. Also, worn-out flags, Bibles and Christian materials that are too far out of date to be useful find a dignified ending in the "Sacred Fire." We can then dispose of these things with a clear conscience.
"I do the very best I know how--the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference." --Abraham Lincoln.
Lincoln had a way of putting life into perspective. George Bush would especially benefit from these words, as would we all.
The picture is in poor condition, but I thought with appropriate cropping and matting it could be a great antique wall hanging again. Should I keep it or should I give it a dignified end?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
*The "Sacred Fire" is a fire ring in our back yard dedicated to the burning of memorabilia not important enough to keep, but too dear just to be tossed in the dumpster. Also, worn-out flags, Bibles and Christian materials that are too far out of date to be useful find a dignified ending in the "Sacred Fire." We can then dispose of these things with a clear conscience.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
MARRIAGE FOR GAYS AND LESBIANS?
"Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
When a lesbian couple was "married" by the authority of the state of Connecticut this fall, one of the partners said that being married felt different than a civil union.* This couple already had a civil union which officially legalized and recognized their relationship. It set me to questioning, "What is different about being married than having a civil union?" What are the practical differences? I can think of only one--faith. Marriage comes from the realm of faith. Marriage was established by God--not by the state. He established the boundaries for it. In the Bible there is never a provision for gay or lesbian marriage--unless, of course, a gay guy and a lesbian marry each other.
Marriage is a faith relationship. A civil union is not a faith relationship, rather it is a legal relationship established by the state. Though a civil union is legal it is not sanctioned by God. The push for same-sex marriage is a desperate attempt by gays and lesbians to receive God's blessing on their relationship.
Some gays and lesbians may argue that being "married" normalizes their relationship and that they would not be stigmatized if they were "married." In a civil union the state gives legal sanction to the relationship, what more is needed--the approval of God? If the state normalizes the relationship why should God's approval be necessary?
When the state "marries" same-sex couples it is becoming involved in God's business. The wall of separation of church and state has been violated by the state. Whatever the decree of the state, it will not change the Word of God. It will only be marriage in the sight of man, but not in the sight of God! The logical conclusion of the state becoming involved in matters of faith is to make criminals of those who believe the Bible.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
*from my memory of a newscast when Connecticut's same-sex marriage law when into effect.
When a lesbian couple was "married" by the authority of the state of Connecticut this fall, one of the partners said that being married felt different than a civil union.* This couple already had a civil union which officially legalized and recognized their relationship. It set me to questioning, "What is different about being married than having a civil union?" What are the practical differences? I can think of only one--faith. Marriage comes from the realm of faith. Marriage was established by God--not by the state. He established the boundaries for it. In the Bible there is never a provision for gay or lesbian marriage--unless, of course, a gay guy and a lesbian marry each other.
Marriage is a faith relationship. A civil union is not a faith relationship, rather it is a legal relationship established by the state. Though a civil union is legal it is not sanctioned by God. The push for same-sex marriage is a desperate attempt by gays and lesbians to receive God's blessing on their relationship.
Some gays and lesbians may argue that being "married" normalizes their relationship and that they would not be stigmatized if they were "married." In a civil union the state gives legal sanction to the relationship, what more is needed--the approval of God? If the state normalizes the relationship why should God's approval be necessary?
When the state "marries" same-sex couples it is becoming involved in God's business. The wall of separation of church and state has been violated by the state. Whatever the decree of the state, it will not change the Word of God. It will only be marriage in the sight of man, but not in the sight of God! The logical conclusion of the state becoming involved in matters of faith is to make criminals of those who believe the Bible.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
*from my memory of a newscast when Connecticut's same-sex marriage law when into effect.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
WHAT TO KEEP & WHAT TO THROW AWAY 2
". . . but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).
The psychological/emotional/spiritual house cleaning, which must be done periodically, is not an easy thing to do either. Not only are there old habits and addictions to be dealt with, but there are a lot of traumas to deal with too. How is it done?
Yesterday, I had some business that took me to Spirit Lake, Iowa. On the return trip I made a short excursion around to where my grandfather's cottage had been on west lake Okoboji. The cottage is gone now, replaced by a much larger house. A flood of memories came back to me as I looked out over the lake; almost all of them good. One memory of this lake is actually a dream. In the months following the deaths of my brother and my dad, I began to have a recurring dream of swimming out towards the middle of the bay--I was too far out to get back to our dock but too far away from the other shore to swim there either. I was drowning! I had that dream several times--enough times so that I talked to a psychologist professor friend of mine about it. He told me that I was having a normal grief experience. My psychologist friend, being a Christian, was affirming and assuring that, though we cannot get back to the familiar, happy and safe times of yesterday, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will take us to the far shore that is infinitely better. I haven't had that dream in a couple of years, but seeing the lake yesterday made me think of it.
Granted, there are issues that are not easy to let go of, so much so, in fact, that you might need some one to help you with them; do not be afraid to see a counselor. However, the rational hope we have in Christ helps us understand the relative value of all the other stuff we have in our psychological store room. Our hope helps us to sort them out and let all the junk go.
Grace&Peace;
Tom
I wanted to add this verse to the posting of yesterday because it is a verse that reinforces my argument that having hope in Christ helps us deal with the internal house keeping that we all need to do. "And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure" (I John 3:3).
The psychological/emotional/spiritual house cleaning, which must be done periodically, is not an easy thing to do either. Not only are there old habits and addictions to be dealt with, but there are a lot of traumas to deal with too. How is it done?
Yesterday, I had some business that took me to Spirit Lake, Iowa. On the return trip I made a short excursion around to where my grandfather's cottage had been on west lake Okoboji. The cottage is gone now, replaced by a much larger house. A flood of memories came back to me as I looked out over the lake; almost all of them good. One memory of this lake is actually a dream. In the months following the deaths of my brother and my dad, I began to have a recurring dream of swimming out towards the middle of the bay--I was too far out to get back to our dock but too far away from the other shore to swim there either. I was drowning! I had that dream several times--enough times so that I talked to a psychologist professor friend of mine about it. He told me that I was having a normal grief experience. My psychologist friend, being a Christian, was affirming and assuring that, though we cannot get back to the familiar, happy and safe times of yesterday, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will take us to the far shore that is infinitely better. I haven't had that dream in a couple of years, but seeing the lake yesterday made me think of it.
Granted, there are issues that are not easy to let go of, so much so, in fact, that you might need some one to help you with them; do not be afraid to see a counselor. However, the rational hope we have in Christ helps us understand the relative value of all the other stuff we have in our psychological store room. Our hope helps us to sort them out and let all the junk go.
Grace&Peace;
Tom
I wanted to add this verse to the posting of yesterday because it is a verse that reinforces my argument that having hope in Christ helps us deal with the internal house keeping that we all need to do. "And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure" (I John 3:3).
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