A good friend of mine sent me the results of some Gallup research that I wanted to share with you. Republicans report much better mental health than those of other political persuasions--independents or democrats (http://wwwgallup.com/poll/102943/Republicans-Report-Much-Better-Mental-Health-Than-Others.aspx). It is a very significant difference too--check it out.
I know that independents and democrats have their own theories as to why republicans report much better mental health: republicans are deluded; they think they are exceptional--everyone is out of step but them; etc.
However, I happen to think that the Republicans are, for the most part, Christians. Independents and Democrats would have a much more secular world view. They have a low view of human kind and a high view of secular government and science as the solutions to the world's problems--the chief one being global warming. Liberals are in a constant state of fear and anxiety. Every issue becomes a crisis to them. A little faith can do a lot to increase mental health, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6,7).
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
PROPER GROWTH
"But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body's growth in building itself up in love" (Ephesians 4:15,16).
I receive a farm journal called FEEDSTUFFS. It deals with the availability of feedstuffs for agribusiness. As I was reading early this morning I read this blurb that was interesting and possibly could make for a good sermon illustration. This blurb is taken from an article written by Dr. M.W. Orth who is associate professor of skeletal biology with the department of animal science at Michigan State University.
"With the advances made in genetics, certain livestock species have attained some impressive growth rates. To try to give some perspective, if a week-old, 10 lb. baby boy grew at the rate of a market pig, he would weigh about 467 lb. at 24 weeks of age. If the same baby grew at the rate of a turkey, he could weigh as much as 1320 lb. at 22 weeks of age. That is more than four times the size of Shaquille O'Neal. In addition, his body composition would likely compare to that of a middle linebacker."
If our children grew that fast we would want to make sure they were properly disciplined early because they could get out of control very quickly!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
I receive a farm journal called FEEDSTUFFS. It deals with the availability of feedstuffs for agribusiness. As I was reading early this morning I read this blurb that was interesting and possibly could make for a good sermon illustration. This blurb is taken from an article written by Dr. M.W. Orth who is associate professor of skeletal biology with the department of animal science at Michigan State University.
"With the advances made in genetics, certain livestock species have attained some impressive growth rates. To try to give some perspective, if a week-old, 10 lb. baby boy grew at the rate of a market pig, he would weigh about 467 lb. at 24 weeks of age. If the same baby grew at the rate of a turkey, he could weigh as much as 1320 lb. at 22 weeks of age. That is more than four times the size of Shaquille O'Neal. In addition, his body composition would likely compare to that of a middle linebacker."
If our children grew that fast we would want to make sure they were properly disciplined early because they could get out of control very quickly!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Monday, October 22, 2007
REPLY TO BL
BL asked a question that reflects the popular psychology of our time, 'If the marriage is unhappy, isn't that harmful to the kids too?' There is just enough truth in that line of thinking to make it seem that a marriage must be a happy marriage or the children will be damaged. The research does not reflect this. Both boys and girls desperately need their dads for proper development. One huge dynamic of dysfunctional behavior in children and young adults is the lack of Dad's involvement in their lives--just having dad there is important.
Jesus said that Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts. Indeed, divorce does serve a remedial function. There are marriages that are dysfunctional enough that they put the children and one of the spouses in danger. Affairs, addictions and abuse, the triple A's, are adulterous, being violations of the vows and endangering the family! Even these things do not require divorce in the short term--separation works better for short-term unfaithfulness. But, if any of the triple A's persist over the longer term, then divorce is an acceptable remedy for the sake of the family. The triple A's are so dysfunctional that the children will be damaged if the marriage continues!
But, by far, most marriages end because one, or both, of the spouses is not happy. Children from homes where the marriages are simply "not happy" get along much better, as a whole, than children from divorced parents. It is the right thing to do to stay together for the sake of the children. Personal happiness is not the number one concern here--the children are. Raising the kids until they are 19 is not a life-sentence in "prison"--only a 19+ year one. Then, of course, grandchildren are quite likely on the way. It is right to stay together for the grandchildren too; they need grampa and gramma together. By that time grampa and gramma might have just learned how to be happy in their marriage.
If parents who are not happy in their marriages can, at the very least, learn to be polite to each other in the home, the children will be OK.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Jesus said that Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts. Indeed, divorce does serve a remedial function. There are marriages that are dysfunctional enough that they put the children and one of the spouses in danger. Affairs, addictions and abuse, the triple A's, are adulterous, being violations of the vows and endangering the family! Even these things do not require divorce in the short term--separation works better for short-term unfaithfulness. But, if any of the triple A's persist over the longer term, then divorce is an acceptable remedy for the sake of the family. The triple A's are so dysfunctional that the children will be damaged if the marriage continues!
But, by far, most marriages end because one, or both, of the spouses is not happy. Children from homes where the marriages are simply "not happy" get along much better, as a whole, than children from divorced parents. It is the right thing to do to stay together for the sake of the children. Personal happiness is not the number one concern here--the children are. Raising the kids until they are 19 is not a life-sentence in "prison"--only a 19+ year one. Then, of course, grandchildren are quite likely on the way. It is right to stay together for the grandchildren too; they need grampa and gramma together. By that time grampa and gramma might have just learned how to be happy in their marriage.
If parents who are not happy in their marriages can, at the very least, learn to be polite to each other in the home, the children will be OK.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Friday, October 19, 2007
DIVORCE DAMAGES KIDS
"He will turn the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children to their parents, so that I will not come and strike the land with a curse" (Malachi 4:6).
Did you know that only about a third of the kids whose parents are divorcing only get as much as a 10 minute explanation about what is happening and why it is happening. Some just get a single sentence, like "Daddy's gone." How confusing and terrifying that is to a child!! Kids end up paying the price financially, academically, socially, psychologically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. About 60% of kids apparently make it through their parent's divorce OK, but I remember having a 40 year old, and apparently successful, woman in my office who was still agonizing over her parents divorce 25 years ago. Then there are the 40% who require treatment.
The prophet Malachi implies that God will curse the land where parents put their own happiness ahead of the well being of their children and when the children are allowed to rule their parents. Are we there yet?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Did you know that only about a third of the kids whose parents are divorcing only get as much as a 10 minute explanation about what is happening and why it is happening. Some just get a single sentence, like "Daddy's gone." How confusing and terrifying that is to a child!! Kids end up paying the price financially, academically, socially, psychologically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. About 60% of kids apparently make it through their parent's divorce OK, but I remember having a 40 year old, and apparently successful, woman in my office who was still agonizing over her parents divorce 25 years ago. Then there are the 40% who require treatment.
The prophet Malachi implies that God will curse the land where parents put their own happiness ahead of the well being of their children and when the children are allowed to rule their parents. Are we there yet?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Are 29 Dimensions of Compatibility Sufficient?
I have written previously about eHarmony.com's 29 dimensions of compatibility. Being compatible is a good thing--Neil Clark Warren has done a good thing with eHarmony.com. Did you know that there are more than 30,000 marriages a year that result from eHarmony? In about 3 years there should be enough data to do some meaningful research on eHarmony marriages.
I said all that to reaffirm to my vast reading audience that I am not against eHarmony. However, I am going to share a blurb from Christian Counseling Today, by Joshua D. Straub, M.A..
"May I assert, however, this requires humility. . . an attitude of the heart. The famous love passage in 1 Corinthians 13 describes love as patient and kind. It is not envious, proud, rude, self-seeking, or easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, trusts, hopes perseveres, and rejoices with truth. This passage exemplifies the attitude of the heart necessary for the marital relationship to be healthy and satisfying.
"Although similarity may be a factor in marital success, it is only one of the many that must be understood and respected by researchers and clinicians alike. And for the eHarmony couple now living out that good marriage, they must be wary of assuming that compatibility alone will carry them through the troubled times inevitable in any marital relationship..
"We know that marital satisfaction is a function of at least two significant variables: compatibility and the attitude of the heart. Especially a man or woman after God's own heart."
Grace&Peace,
Tom
I said all that to reaffirm to my vast reading audience that I am not against eHarmony. However, I am going to share a blurb from Christian Counseling Today, by Joshua D. Straub, M.A..
"May I assert, however, this requires humility. . . an attitude of the heart. The famous love passage in 1 Corinthians 13 describes love as patient and kind. It is not envious, proud, rude, self-seeking, or easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, trusts, hopes perseveres, and rejoices with truth. This passage exemplifies the attitude of the heart necessary for the marital relationship to be healthy and satisfying.
"Although similarity may be a factor in marital success, it is only one of the many that must be understood and respected by researchers and clinicians alike. And for the eHarmony couple now living out that good marriage, they must be wary of assuming that compatibility alone will carry them through the troubled times inevitable in any marital relationship..
"We know that marital satisfaction is a function of at least two significant variables: compatibility and the attitude of the heart. Especially a man or woman after God's own heart."
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Thursday, September 13, 2007
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
I wrote a letter to the editor of the Sioux City Journal in response to a column written by Leonard Pitts Jr. titled by the Journal, "Looking for Some Answers From God." Pitts' column was in response to the revelation that for the last 50 years of her life, Mother Teresa felt spiritually abandoned and cut off from God. She felt no Presence. She felt alone. Pitts' column is a conversation with God. Pitts humorously asks God at one point, Do you have any idea how much easier you make it for atheists when you act like this?" It was a good column!
My response was this: I thoroughly enjoyed reading Leonard Pitts', Looking for Some Answers From God." The feeling of being abandoned by God that Mother Teresa felt is a common experience of being human. Those who work in tragic and difficult situations, as she did, almost uniformly have the same experience and those who are grieving experience it too. Several prominent Biblical figures, including Jesus Christ himself, experienced it, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" he said in his last moments. The Psalmist cried out, How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" Within the pages of scripture these honest expressions of anger toward God are allowed. This emotional honesty is one of the reasons I believe the Bible to be the "real deal."
Since what Mother Teresa experienced is pretty much the normal human experience, atheists are left with a couple of problems, why is there any faith in God at all? And, why would this God be thought of as being loving and caring?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
My response was this: I thoroughly enjoyed reading Leonard Pitts', Looking for Some Answers From God." The feeling of being abandoned by God that Mother Teresa felt is a common experience of being human. Those who work in tragic and difficult situations, as she did, almost uniformly have the same experience and those who are grieving experience it too. Several prominent Biblical figures, including Jesus Christ himself, experienced it, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" he said in his last moments. The Psalmist cried out, How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" Within the pages of scripture these honest expressions of anger toward God are allowed. This emotional honesty is one of the reasons I believe the Bible to be the "real deal."
Since what Mother Teresa experienced is pretty much the normal human experience, atheists are left with a couple of problems, why is there any faith in God at all? And, why would this God be thought of as being loving and caring?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Friday, September 07, 2007
A HISTORY LESSON
"Now these things happened to them as a warning, but they were written down for our instruction, upon whom the end of the ages has come" (I Corinthians 10:11).
I was just reading an op-ed piece by Paul Greenburg in which he makes a great quote for all of us to remember.
"For there will always be those who think of the past as only something to out grow, not to learn from."
Grace&Peace,
Tom
I was just reading an op-ed piece by Paul Greenburg in which he makes a great quote for all of us to remember.
"For there will always be those who think of the past as only something to out grow, not to learn from."
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Monday, September 03, 2007
LABOR DAY 2007 GRATITUDE
Oh Lord!,
I thank you that you did not make me a Michigan fan! Amen!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
I thank you that you did not make me a Michigan fan! Amen!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
VOICES SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS
". . . his sheep follow him because they know his voice" (John 10:4).
What does the Good Shepherd's voice sound like?
You can tell a lot about a person simply by listening to the sound of their voice. From the quality of a person's voice a one can estimate height, weight and age as accurately as from viewing a photo--an have a very good estimation of physical attractiveness too.
Physically attractive people tend to have more attractive voices, so when you are working on your body image do not forget your voice image. To get an idea of what you sound like to others, audio record, better yet, video record yourself. Attractive voices are variable from dynamic to soft and even monotone if needed, depending on the situation at hand. Authoritative, assertive voices drop in pitch. The voices of intimidated people tend to rise in pitch.
The voice of the Good Shepherd is the voice of authority. The voice of the Good Shepherd is the voice of truth. The voice of the Good Shepherd is the voice of love and tenderness. His voice has the full range of expression. What is your voice like?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
What does the Good Shepherd's voice sound like?
You can tell a lot about a person simply by listening to the sound of their voice. From the quality of a person's voice a one can estimate height, weight and age as accurately as from viewing a photo--an have a very good estimation of physical attractiveness too.
Physically attractive people tend to have more attractive voices, so when you are working on your body image do not forget your voice image. To get an idea of what you sound like to others, audio record, better yet, video record yourself. Attractive voices are variable from dynamic to soft and even monotone if needed, depending on the situation at hand. Authoritative, assertive voices drop in pitch. The voices of intimidated people tend to rise in pitch.
The voice of the Good Shepherd is the voice of authority. The voice of the Good Shepherd is the voice of truth. The voice of the Good Shepherd is the voice of love and tenderness. His voice has the full range of expression. What is your voice like?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!
Today is the 37th anniversary of the marriage of Thomas E. Steele to Helen M. Steele. I posted this so that you could, in the words of my friend Zach, 'cheer us on.' I mumble and grumble a lot, but the truth be told, most of the best things in my life I owe to Helen--really the God who made provision that we should be together. Helen is probably the only woman in the world who could deal with me, the rest of them would have said, "I'm outta here" a long time ago.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Grace&Peace,
Tom
DISCIPLINE UNDER THE NEW COVENANT
"But if you are led by the Spirit you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are plain: immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing and the like. I warn you , as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires" (Galatians 5:18-24).
Probably the most salient reason why church folks want to be under the law is the fear of lawlessness if there is no law. But, are our people in the churches or the culture at large following the law any way? No! The reason they are not has nothing to do with the lack of10 commandment preaching. It has everything to do with bringing folks to Christ with unchanged hearts. They continue to be creatures of the culture at large first concerned with matters of the flesh rather than matters of the Spirit.
Living by the law of love seems to be too "loosy goosy" for a lot of folks; they want something with more structure. The problem is that they disregard the structure anyway. The new covenant is not with out law and structure. None of the old covenant is in force except what Jesus and the apostles brought into the new covenant. An this is the law that has always been in force, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all you soul and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, 'you shall love your neighbor as yourself'"(Matthew 22:36-39). Or, as Paul stated about love for neighbor, he said, "Bear one an other's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).
Living by the law of love is living by the Spirit. That is a little too subjective for a lot of folks since we can all make the claim that love had something to do with our actions. So when discipline under the new covenant has to be done--and it does even though discipline is seldom, if ever, done any more in the churches, Paul shows us what is of the flesh and what is of the Spirit. If there are personal problems or church problems, those who are mature need to ask, "Where is this problem coming from? The Spirit or the flesh?" Let those who are involved answer. After reading this text the answer should be self evident. Those who love the Lord will ask forgiveness. They may need some help with skill development, but they are teachable. Those who only have excuses and blame are unworkable. These are the ones who still live by the flesh and there is little hope for them.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Probably the most salient reason why church folks want to be under the law is the fear of lawlessness if there is no law. But, are our people in the churches or the culture at large following the law any way? No! The reason they are not has nothing to do with the lack of10 commandment preaching. It has everything to do with bringing folks to Christ with unchanged hearts. They continue to be creatures of the culture at large first concerned with matters of the flesh rather than matters of the Spirit.
Living by the law of love seems to be too "loosy goosy" for a lot of folks; they want something with more structure. The problem is that they disregard the structure anyway. The new covenant is not with out law and structure. None of the old covenant is in force except what Jesus and the apostles brought into the new covenant. An this is the law that has always been in force, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all you soul and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, 'you shall love your neighbor as yourself'"(Matthew 22:36-39). Or, as Paul stated about love for neighbor, he said, "Bear one an other's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).
Living by the law of love is living by the Spirit. That is a little too subjective for a lot of folks since we can all make the claim that love had something to do with our actions. So when discipline under the new covenant has to be done--and it does even though discipline is seldom, if ever, done any more in the churches, Paul shows us what is of the flesh and what is of the Spirit. If there are personal problems or church problems, those who are mature need to ask, "Where is this problem coming from? The Spirit or the flesh?" Let those who are involved answer. After reading this text the answer should be self evident. Those who love the Lord will ask forgiveness. They may need some help with skill development, but they are teachable. Those who only have excuses and blame are unworkable. These are the ones who still live by the flesh and there is little hope for them.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Monday, August 20, 2007
LIVING UNDER THE NEW COVENANT
In the last few weeks I have managed to alienate most of the people around me. I thought I would write this and finish the job of alienating every one. A week ago I preached a sermon called, The Law of Moses and Salvation. Afterwards a couple of leaders from the congregation came to me disagreeing with what I said. They contended that the Law is still in force--it has not been done away. I again cited to them the words of Paul in Galatians 5:4 "....you who are seeking to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace." Anyone who trusts in his own good works for salvation has fallen from grace. We might live very good lives, but as James said, "For who ever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all" (James 2:10). That is why every one of us needs a savior! We all stand guilty before God! In Revelation 21:8 there are some frightening words, "But for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted, as for murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their lot shall be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death." With out Jesus, that is what we all are--we are guilty! Hell is our destination! Law keeping cannot save us! "For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did; sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh as an offering for sin. He condemned sin in the flesh so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit" (Romans 8:3-4).
Jesus did not come into the world to slap a new patch on an old system or to pour new wine into old containers--it just would not work! (Matthew 9:16-17). The problem with the Law was that it could not change hearts! As God said through Jeremiah about His people, "Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked each one in the stubbornness of his evil heart. . ." (11:8). God says about humanity in general, "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). So, a heart change is necessary! That could only happen with a new covenant--all new.
God is after our hearts and the way that He gets them is through the great expression of His love. He created us because He loves us. He redeemed us through the great sacrifice of Jesus Christ because He loves us. If His love does not draw us, nothing will. If His love does not motivate us to serve Him, nothing will, even the threat of hell. As Paul said, "For the love of Christ controls us...he died for all so that they who live might no longer liver for themselves but for Him who died on their behalf" (II Corinthians 5:14-15).
Christians serve God from their hearts. If they serve under threat of Divine punishment then their service is of law rather than grace and is of no credit to them. God wants willing service from our hearts. Jesus said to the woman at the well in John 4:23, "But an hour is coming, and now is, when true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshippers." Worshipping God in spirit has to do with our spirit--it is from our heart. True worship comes from the heart! Paul says something similar about giving our offerings, "Each must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver" (IICorinthians 9:7). We are not under the law to be held accountable for tithing--God wants us to give generously from the heart!
Living under the new covenant is wonderful--we have freedom and infinite pardon. We enter it because of God's love for us and we respond in faith to it. We enter it something like marriage, because we respond to God's love in Jesus and we love Him. We trust in Him. We make a commitment to Him in that our flesh no longer has the first claim on our lives, but God does. And both God and us sign the covenant agreement in the blood of Jesus in Christian baptism (I Peter 3:21).
Grace&Peace;
Tom
Jesus did not come into the world to slap a new patch on an old system or to pour new wine into old containers--it just would not work! (Matthew 9:16-17). The problem with the Law was that it could not change hearts! As God said through Jeremiah about His people, "Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked each one in the stubbornness of his evil heart. . ." (11:8). God says about humanity in general, "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). So, a heart change is necessary! That could only happen with a new covenant--all new.
God is after our hearts and the way that He gets them is through the great expression of His love. He created us because He loves us. He redeemed us through the great sacrifice of Jesus Christ because He loves us. If His love does not draw us, nothing will. If His love does not motivate us to serve Him, nothing will, even the threat of hell. As Paul said, "For the love of Christ controls us...he died for all so that they who live might no longer liver for themselves but for Him who died on their behalf" (II Corinthians 5:14-15).
Christians serve God from their hearts. If they serve under threat of Divine punishment then their service is of law rather than grace and is of no credit to them. God wants willing service from our hearts. Jesus said to the woman at the well in John 4:23, "But an hour is coming, and now is, when true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshippers." Worshipping God in spirit has to do with our spirit--it is from our heart. True worship comes from the heart! Paul says something similar about giving our offerings, "Each must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver" (IICorinthians 9:7). We are not under the law to be held accountable for tithing--God wants us to give generously from the heart!
Living under the new covenant is wonderful--we have freedom and infinite pardon. We enter it because of God's love for us and we respond in faith to it. We enter it something like marriage, because we respond to God's love in Jesus and we love Him. We trust in Him. We make a commitment to Him in that our flesh no longer has the first claim on our lives, but God does. And both God and us sign the covenant agreement in the blood of Jesus in Christian baptism (I Peter 3:21).
Grace&Peace;
Tom
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
GOD'S POLITICS
How quickly a month passes! I'm sorry it has been so long since my last post--I have had a lot on my plate that has occupied my mind. Even this post is short, but one that I found amusing and wanted to pass along to you.
"A wise man's heart inclines him toward the right, but a fool's heart toward the left" (Ecclesiastes 10:2).
Enough said.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
"A wise man's heart inclines him toward the right, but a fool's heart toward the left" (Ecclesiastes 10:2).
Enough said.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Friday, July 13, 2007
UNAPPRECIATED SATIRE
I have been thinking about the 29 dimensions of compatibility that eharmony.com uses to match up people into couples. If the NAA is not included, a potential couple does not stand a chance of making is. Anyone who is really familiar with personality testing knows that if the NAA is not factored in, the validity of the testing is open to serious question because, as the late, great Steve McQueen said, "Racing is life." According to Iowa State University psychological testing, the NASCAR ATTITUDES ASSESSMENT is not religious, nor in any way "spiritual" and therefore can be used as a personality inventory for the football program. All new recruits will be evaluated on the basis of their NAA score. That is how important and valid the NAA is in determining compatibility.
All NAA questions have four possible answers. Circle the one that best fits your feeling: 1. Strongly agree; 2. Agree; 3. Somewhat agree; 4. Will leave and go home to mother.
Sample questions:
1. I would love to spend my honeymoon at Bristol, Tennessee for a NASCAR race.
2. I wear a Matt Kenseth Dewalt-powertools jacket and tie for formal wear.
3. I think of down-field blocking as just another form of bump-drafting.
4. I think of marriage as a 500 mile race.
The NAA is to be administered by professionals only! Conclusions drawn by anyone else could cause a couple to crash and burn. Anyone in need of premarital counseling needs to take the NAA.
One's mind can wander while mowing the yard, especially when it is a large yard like the one at My Father's House. After listening to many radio ads for Eharmony.com about the 29 dimensions of compatibility I thought, "I wonder if they left one out--the NAA" It is true that relationships work better if there is personality compatibility, but 29 dimensions of compatibility does not a soul-mate make. This is sacred ground that cannot be fully understood by social science, but only by the Spirit. I wonder what the divorce rate is for the matches of Eharmony.com?
Then there is Iowa State University. The football coach there wants to have a chaplain for the football team. The University has been anti Christian lately, denying tenure to professor Gonzales, a highly respected professor in physics and astronomy because he wrote a book, The Privileged Plant. That book is a testimony to his belief in intelligent design. The same gang of professors out to deny tenure to professor Gonzales want to deny chaplaincy for the football program on the grounds of separation of church and state. The thing is, chaplaincy is a respected institution in our country from the very beginning. If the framers of the constitution believed that separation of church and state denied a chaplaincy, there would have been no chaplains from the very beginning--so was the reasoning of Justice Warren Burger in affirming the validity of chaplaincy.
Iowa State will never have a generally successful athletic program as long as a gang of professors circulating petitions is allowed to make decisions for the administration.
These were some of the thoughts that were behind that bit of mild satire--though I doubt that anyone was really interested.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
All NAA questions have four possible answers. Circle the one that best fits your feeling: 1. Strongly agree; 2. Agree; 3. Somewhat agree; 4. Will leave and go home to mother.
Sample questions:
1. I would love to spend my honeymoon at Bristol, Tennessee for a NASCAR race.
2. I wear a Matt Kenseth Dewalt-powertools jacket and tie for formal wear.
3. I think of down-field blocking as just another form of bump-drafting.
4. I think of marriage as a 500 mile race.
The NAA is to be administered by professionals only! Conclusions drawn by anyone else could cause a couple to crash and burn. Anyone in need of premarital counseling needs to take the NAA.
One's mind can wander while mowing the yard, especially when it is a large yard like the one at My Father's House. After listening to many radio ads for Eharmony.com about the 29 dimensions of compatibility I thought, "I wonder if they left one out--the NAA" It is true that relationships work better if there is personality compatibility, but 29 dimensions of compatibility does not a soul-mate make. This is sacred ground that cannot be fully understood by social science, but only by the Spirit. I wonder what the divorce rate is for the matches of Eharmony.com?
Then there is Iowa State University. The football coach there wants to have a chaplain for the football team. The University has been anti Christian lately, denying tenure to professor Gonzales, a highly respected professor in physics and astronomy because he wrote a book, The Privileged Plant. That book is a testimony to his belief in intelligent design. The same gang of professors out to deny tenure to professor Gonzales want to deny chaplaincy for the football program on the grounds of separation of church and state. The thing is, chaplaincy is a respected institution in our country from the very beginning. If the framers of the constitution believed that separation of church and state denied a chaplaincy, there would have been no chaplains from the very beginning--so was the reasoning of Justice Warren Burger in affirming the validity of chaplaincy.
Iowa State will never have a generally successful athletic program as long as a gang of professors circulating petitions is allowed to make decisions for the administration.
These were some of the thoughts that were behind that bit of mild satire--though I doubt that anyone was really interested.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
PORNOGRAPHY DESTROYS LOVE
"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. . ." (I Corinthians 13:4-8a).
"A ChristiaNet.com and Second Glance Ministries poll found 20% of Christian women (vs 50% of Christian men) are addicted to pornography. Sixty percent of women respondents admitted to significant struggles with lust, 40% admitted being involved in sexual sin in the past year, and 20% of church-going female participants struggled with viewing pornography." (Foster Report, Christian Counseling Connection).
These are astounding numbers, even if the research is flawed, which I think it is, half those numbers are huge. How do they define addiction? How do they define lust? How large is the sample? These are some of the questions that need to be asked. There are those who do ask the question, what is the harm in pornography? It is harmful because it is addictive, needing more and greater stimulation to receive the same "high." Thus it leads to all kinds of perversity, physically abusive and even homicidal results.
The biggest problem with pornography is it teaches that another person has no value except what they can do for me, completely contradicting the teaching of the Scriptures. The Bible says that each person has value, not because of what they can produce, but because God created them and Jesus died for them.
God created us as sexual beings. Sex is good, but it is of the flesh. The flesh does not come first--the Spirit does! Keep it in that order and you will have the best sex--I promise!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
"A ChristiaNet.com and Second Glance Ministries poll found 20% of Christian women (vs 50% of Christian men) are addicted to pornography. Sixty percent of women respondents admitted to significant struggles with lust, 40% admitted being involved in sexual sin in the past year, and 20% of church-going female participants struggled with viewing pornography." (Foster Report, Christian Counseling Connection).
These are astounding numbers, even if the research is flawed, which I think it is, half those numbers are huge. How do they define addiction? How do they define lust? How large is the sample? These are some of the questions that need to be asked. There are those who do ask the question, what is the harm in pornography? It is harmful because it is addictive, needing more and greater stimulation to receive the same "high." Thus it leads to all kinds of perversity, physically abusive and even homicidal results.
The biggest problem with pornography is it teaches that another person has no value except what they can do for me, completely contradicting the teaching of the Scriptures. The Bible says that each person has value, not because of what they can produce, but because God created them and Jesus died for them.
God created us as sexual beings. Sex is good, but it is of the flesh. The flesh does not come first--the Spirit does! Keep it in that order and you will have the best sex--I promise!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Our Irrational Beliefs
"The word of the Lord came to me again:'What do you mean by repeating this proverb concerning the land of Israel, 'The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge'? As I live, says the Lord God, this proverb shall no more be used by you in Israel. Behold, all souls are mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sins shall die'" (Ezekiel 18:1-4).
I know, I have used that text many times. It is almost a proof text for me, but it is a very important text in the Scripture because it emphasizes our personal responsibility to God. We blame our sinfulness on "original sin," how our mothers treated us or because our fathers were not involved in our lives or because of some other trauma that we experienced. I know these kinds of things do have some power, but they are not determiners of our behavior!
The Scripture says that the just shall live by faith, meaning faith in Christ. In reality, everyone lives by faith, but most of the time our beliefs are irrational. The reason the past has power over our lives is because of how we think about it. The reason present problems cause depression and anxiety is because of what we believe about them.
I've said all this to lead up to this quote by Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational-Emotive-behavioral therapy, who, himself, suffers with the irrational belief in atheism, which I want to share with you: "The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny." I think he and God agree.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
I know, I have used that text many times. It is almost a proof text for me, but it is a very important text in the Scripture because it emphasizes our personal responsibility to God. We blame our sinfulness on "original sin," how our mothers treated us or because our fathers were not involved in our lives or because of some other trauma that we experienced. I know these kinds of things do have some power, but they are not determiners of our behavior!
The Scripture says that the just shall live by faith, meaning faith in Christ. In reality, everyone lives by faith, but most of the time our beliefs are irrational. The reason the past has power over our lives is because of how we think about it. The reason present problems cause depression and anxiety is because of what we believe about them.
I've said all this to lead up to this quote by Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational-Emotive-behavioral therapy, who, himself, suffers with the irrational belief in atheism, which I want to share with you: "The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny." I think he and God agree.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Monday, June 11, 2007
PRAYER
"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:11-13).
We have had quite a lot happening around our place lately, and it looks like it will be that way for much of the summer. Soooo, my postings will probably be a little more infrequent, and/or a little more borrowed. This posting is like that. I found the following quotes about prayer in Christian Counseling Today by Harold Koenig M.D. that I wanted to share with you all.
"I have seen prayer active in the lives of many patients in my clinical practice, so I don't need scientific proof of this. In the early days of my work as a family physician, I would often ask patients, 'What enables you to cope with the stress of your medical illness? What keeps you going, despite these difficult circumstances?' Patients would so often tell me that it was prayer."
"I have also had patients tell me how prayer for them or a loved one changed the course of an illness and doctors could not explain it. Even more often though, patients report to me that prayer changes how they view their illness or the situations they are in."
Grace&Peace,
Tom
We have had quite a lot happening around our place lately, and it looks like it will be that way for much of the summer. Soooo, my postings will probably be a little more infrequent, and/or a little more borrowed. This posting is like that. I found the following quotes about prayer in Christian Counseling Today by Harold Koenig M.D. that I wanted to share with you all.
"I have seen prayer active in the lives of many patients in my clinical practice, so I don't need scientific proof of this. In the early days of my work as a family physician, I would often ask patients, 'What enables you to cope with the stress of your medical illness? What keeps you going, despite these difficult circumstances?' Patients would so often tell me that it was prayer."
"I have also had patients tell me how prayer for them or a loved one changed the course of an illness and doctors could not explain it. Even more often though, patients report to me that prayer changes how they view their illness or the situations they are in."
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
THE FAMILY TABLE
"And when it was evening he came with the twelve. And as they were at the table eating, Jesus said. . . ." (Mark 14:17,18).
The some of the greatest memories are those surrounding the family table. I was cleaning the house, preparing for the arrival of a former minister and his wife. [Our church is celebrating its 125th anniversary. As part of the celebration, former ministers and "Timothy's" have been invited to speak the first Sunday of each month during the year. Helen and I are hosting this month, June.] As I changed the table cloth I remembered that this table is one that our guests would have gathered around, and eaten from, many years ago because this is the only table I remember being in my childhood home during their ministry with us. Returning to the farm in 1980, Helen and I inherited the table and raised our own children around it.
I suppose if this table were sold at an auction that it would bring very little. The legs have an ornate design, but the top is somewhat of an embarrassment to look at, and that is why it stays covered with a table cloth. Yet, that table tells the story of the Steele family history in a way no written word can tell. So, it will live on in our home until the day of my passing comes. Perhaps it will find its way to an auction where it will be sold for a "song." Who would want a table with a linoleum top? The top is a testimony to my mother's thrifty practicality--it is great for cutting up meat or processing vegetables. There is a burn mark in that linoleum table top from the time in 1953 during a terrible storm and the electricity was out that my sisters tried to make some light by starting a fire in a pan, my parents being occupied by livestock.
It is around this table that we started every meal with prayer, asking God's blessing on what we were about to eat. Food is always more filling and nourishing when it is eaten with gratitude and God's blessing, and with six hungry children, food needed all the blessing it could get. Dad always ended his prayers at that table with, "Bless this food to its intenda juice." I pondered for a long time what intenda juice was until I came home from college one time and heard, "intended use." The lessons about prayer that I learned from dad around that table I have tried to teach and model for my own children and grandchildren around that same old table.
I remember a lot of good times, important discussions, fellowship with dear friends and ministers. I bought my first life insurance policy at that old table. There were has been anger shown there, tears shed there, belly laughs laughed there, games played there and a lot of food and drinks spilled there. This is all normal stuff for raising a family and having friends. The rungs show the wear of all the big and little feet that have been there.
Helen has never complained about keeping that old dining-room table around. I suppose that is partly because she has a lot of history with that table too, and because she is like my mom, a practical woman who can use a sturdy table with a linoleum top, as well as being able to put up with my "quirkiness." Someday that table will probably sell at an auction for very little, but the memories, of which it bears the marks, are priceless!
Go now. Find a good sturdy dining-room table that you can make some good family memories around and make them. A good family table will always remind you of the really important things.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
The some of the greatest memories are those surrounding the family table. I was cleaning the house, preparing for the arrival of a former minister and his wife. [Our church is celebrating its 125th anniversary. As part of the celebration, former ministers and "Timothy's" have been invited to speak the first Sunday of each month during the year. Helen and I are hosting this month, June.] As I changed the table cloth I remembered that this table is one that our guests would have gathered around, and eaten from, many years ago because this is the only table I remember being in my childhood home during their ministry with us. Returning to the farm in 1980, Helen and I inherited the table and raised our own children around it.
I suppose if this table were sold at an auction that it would bring very little. The legs have an ornate design, but the top is somewhat of an embarrassment to look at, and that is why it stays covered with a table cloth. Yet, that table tells the story of the Steele family history in a way no written word can tell. So, it will live on in our home until the day of my passing comes. Perhaps it will find its way to an auction where it will be sold for a "song." Who would want a table with a linoleum top? The top is a testimony to my mother's thrifty practicality--it is great for cutting up meat or processing vegetables. There is a burn mark in that linoleum table top from the time in 1953 during a terrible storm and the electricity was out that my sisters tried to make some light by starting a fire in a pan, my parents being occupied by livestock.
It is around this table that we started every meal with prayer, asking God's blessing on what we were about to eat. Food is always more filling and nourishing when it is eaten with gratitude and God's blessing, and with six hungry children, food needed all the blessing it could get. Dad always ended his prayers at that table with, "Bless this food to its intenda juice." I pondered for a long time what intenda juice was until I came home from college one time and heard, "intended use." The lessons about prayer that I learned from dad around that table I have tried to teach and model for my own children and grandchildren around that same old table.
I remember a lot of good times, important discussions, fellowship with dear friends and ministers. I bought my first life insurance policy at that old table. There were has been anger shown there, tears shed there, belly laughs laughed there, games played there and a lot of food and drinks spilled there. This is all normal stuff for raising a family and having friends. The rungs show the wear of all the big and little feet that have been there.
Helen has never complained about keeping that old dining-room table around. I suppose that is partly because she has a lot of history with that table too, and because she is like my mom, a practical woman who can use a sturdy table with a linoleum top, as well as being able to put up with my "quirkiness." Someday that table will probably sell at an auction for very little, but the memories, of which it bears the marks, are priceless!
Go now. Find a good sturdy dining-room table that you can make some good family memories around and make them. A good family table will always remind you of the really important things.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Monday, May 21, 2007
COMMUNICATION PATTERNS IN MARRIAGE
"A continual dripping on a rainy day and a contentious woman are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in his right hand" (Proverbs 27:15-16).
The most complimentary writing about a woman is found in Proverbs 31--she definitely was not a contentious woman. Scattered throughout Proverbs are references to the contentious woman. This proves that in whatever culture in whatever period of time human nature has not changed very much.
Communication patterns are at the center of the success of a marriage. One of the things premarital counselors should evaluate are the communication patterns of the engaged couple because it is communication patterns that are pretty reliable predictors of the success of the marriage. Negative patterns are far more predictive than positive ones. It takes 5 to 20 positive comments to equal the power of 1 negative comment. Sometimes with a nagging and critical spouse in marriage counseling it is hard to find a positive comment. It is hard for a marriage to survive a contentious woman----or man. Predicting the success of a marriage is almost as simple as doing the math. If there are at least 5 positives to 1 negative comment in their communication, they will probably do OK. If there is less than that, there will be trouble.
Here are some negative communication patterns that are extremely destructive to a marriage:
1) Withdrawal--men are most guilty of this. Working late, hobbies and activities which become excuses for not being with spouse. All of this busyness says something, thus it is communication.
2) Escalation--raising of voice or anything that raises the temperature--slamming a door.
3) Invalidation--name calling, rolling eyeballs, heavy breathing, the silent treatment(this could be the worst).
4) Negative interpretation--when even a spouse's positives become a negative if the motive is believed to be negative. The spouse can do nothing right. When communication is in this mode the marriage will not turn around unless there is a miraculous change in perspective!
Check out your communication patterns! Are you a contentious woman----or man?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
The most complimentary writing about a woman is found in Proverbs 31--she definitely was not a contentious woman. Scattered throughout Proverbs are references to the contentious woman. This proves that in whatever culture in whatever period of time human nature has not changed very much.
Communication patterns are at the center of the success of a marriage. One of the things premarital counselors should evaluate are the communication patterns of the engaged couple because it is communication patterns that are pretty reliable predictors of the success of the marriage. Negative patterns are far more predictive than positive ones. It takes 5 to 20 positive comments to equal the power of 1 negative comment. Sometimes with a nagging and critical spouse in marriage counseling it is hard to find a positive comment. It is hard for a marriage to survive a contentious woman----or man. Predicting the success of a marriage is almost as simple as doing the math. If there are at least 5 positives to 1 negative comment in their communication, they will probably do OK. If there is less than that, there will be trouble.
Here are some negative communication patterns that are extremely destructive to a marriage:
1) Withdrawal--men are most guilty of this. Working late, hobbies and activities which become excuses for not being with spouse. All of this busyness says something, thus it is communication.
2) Escalation--raising of voice or anything that raises the temperature--slamming a door.
3) Invalidation--name calling, rolling eyeballs, heavy breathing, the silent treatment(this could be the worst).
4) Negative interpretation--when even a spouse's positives become a negative if the motive is believed to be negative. The spouse can do nothing right. When communication is in this mode the marriage will not turn around unless there is a miraculous change in perspective!
Check out your communication patterns! Are you a contentious woman----or man?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Monday, May 14, 2007
INVITING MORE TROUBLE
"When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, he passes through waterless places seeking rest; and finding none he says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' And when he comes he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first" (Luke 11:24-30).
Problem solving is complex. Apparent solutions can simply lead to more problems. It has long been my belief that changes can be made in a person's life, in a business, in a church or an institution, but unless the necessary changes are made, all other changes are meaningless. According to the cited Scripture text, they can be worse than meaningless, they can actually invite more trouble. One can change addresses, jobs, bosses and spouses, but if the personal changes are not made that need to be made, it is opening up the door to something worse. It isn't enough to rid one's life of a demon. One has to fill his life with something to take the demon's place. The something that takes the demon's place has to be the right stuff. The Greek word translated, "put in order" literally means to decorate, adorn." That decoration was done from the set of values that got the man in trouble the first time; what needed to be changed was not changed. As a result the demon returned with seven other demons. And the man was worse off than before.
When the values of the world (kosmeo, to decorate or adorn) are the values that order our lives, then we invite more trouble into our lives. It is such a sad thing that Christians and churches look to the world for their standards of success and worth. Actually, it is hard not to do since we are surrounded by the world. Nevertheless, it is by faith that we look at God's standards of morality, success, achievement, value and personal worth and use them to order our lives.
In focusing on solutions for our problems it is absolutely necessary that we understand the road that led us to the problems we have and change directions. That is repentance. The failing to do this is inviting more trouble into our lives.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Problem solving is complex. Apparent solutions can simply lead to more problems. It has long been my belief that changes can be made in a person's life, in a business, in a church or an institution, but unless the necessary changes are made, all other changes are meaningless. According to the cited Scripture text, they can be worse than meaningless, they can actually invite more trouble. One can change addresses, jobs, bosses and spouses, but if the personal changes are not made that need to be made, it is opening up the door to something worse. It isn't enough to rid one's life of a demon. One has to fill his life with something to take the demon's place. The something that takes the demon's place has to be the right stuff. The Greek word translated, "put in order" literally means to decorate, adorn." That decoration was done from the set of values that got the man in trouble the first time; what needed to be changed was not changed. As a result the demon returned with seven other demons. And the man was worse off than before.
When the values of the world (kosmeo, to decorate or adorn) are the values that order our lives, then we invite more trouble into our lives. It is such a sad thing that Christians and churches look to the world for their standards of success and worth. Actually, it is hard not to do since we are surrounded by the world. Nevertheless, it is by faith that we look at God's standards of morality, success, achievement, value and personal worth and use them to order our lives.
In focusing on solutions for our problems it is absolutely necessary that we understand the road that led us to the problems we have and change directions. That is repentance. The failing to do this is inviting more trouble into our lives.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
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