Let there be no filthiness, nor silly talk, nor levity, which are not fitting; but instead let there be thanksgiving (Ephesians 5:4).
There is entropy in every relationship. If you remember your science, entropy is the inevitable movement from order to disorder that exists in every system, institution, relationship and communication. The effect of entropy in relationships is to make them grow stale and fall apart. How is it then that marriages and friendships can last a life time so they seem to be impervious to relationship entropy? Whether the people in these relationships realize it or not, there is on constant in these relationships that resists entropy, gratitude.
In truth, a good relationship is not easy to come by. Yes, in our culture and in our time, we go in and out of relationships all the time. We think that someone will always be there, but when the time inevitably comes when one needs absolute faithfulness, Semper Fi, is there anyone who will really care? Step 1 in building, strengthening and restoring relationships is to be thankful for the one you already have! Be grateful for the ones around you who care! Let them know that you are thankful for them--it will make a big difference in their feelings about you. So thank God for your spouse and your friends and express genuine, heart-felt thankyou's to them. This will generate a lot of positive emotion in your relationship that will last.
One of my rules in marriage counseling is that the negative talk stops! There will be no name calling, sarcastic humor, making a joke at the other person's expense or laughing about what has hurt the other. A marriage cannot survive this kind of negativity so this kind of behavior has to stop. What will heal it is a genuine gratitude felt for and expressed to the other.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
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