"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." --C.S. Lewis
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
NEED A FRIEND?
"There are friends who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24).
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy" (Proverbs 27:6).
"Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).
I'm taking the word of PSYCHOLOGY TODAY for this statistic, "Since 1985 the number of Americans who say they have no one to talk to has doubled." It is hard to believe with all the folks one sees jabbering on their phones while driving!! That statistic may not be as ominous as it sounds because there are more people living in America now. Still it does show an increase. The freedom we have to indulge our own personal preferences also tends to isolate us. For example, if I do not like what Helen is watching on TV, I can go to a different TV and watch.
So how can one make a friend?
1. Smile!!! Be approachable.
2. Do not isolate!!! Be approachable.
3. Be involved in a Bible study with others, or take a class.
4. Sign up for a tour and have an adventure with others.
5. Try a new perspective on people you already know.
Friends do not pop out of the thin air. Making a friend does require some effort, but it is definitely worth the effort. As the Proverb writer said, 'A friend who is near is better than a brother who is far away.'
Always remember, too, that Jesus is your best friend!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy" (Proverbs 27:6).
"Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).
I'm taking the word of PSYCHOLOGY TODAY for this statistic, "Since 1985 the number of Americans who say they have no one to talk to has doubled." It is hard to believe with all the folks one sees jabbering on their phones while driving!! That statistic may not be as ominous as it sounds because there are more people living in America now. Still it does show an increase. The freedom we have to indulge our own personal preferences also tends to isolate us. For example, if I do not like what Helen is watching on TV, I can go to a different TV and watch.
So how can one make a friend?
1. Smile!!! Be approachable.
2. Do not isolate!!! Be approachable.
3. Be involved in a Bible study with others, or take a class.
4. Sign up for a tour and have an adventure with others.
5. Try a new perspective on people you already know.
Friends do not pop out of the thin air. Making a friend does require some effort, but it is definitely worth the effort. As the Proverb writer said, 'A friend who is near is better than a brother who is far away.'
Always remember, too, that Jesus is your best friend!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Thursday, April 17, 2008
FINDING YOURSELF (your identity and personality)
"He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it" (Matthew 10:39).
Jesus repeated this teaching several times in the gospels; it must be important. Becoming a real self is a requirement to being a psychologically and emotionally healthy person. The key to becoming a real self is not to be so self-absorbed so that every pleasure has to be experienced, or to become introspective to the point of being self-possessed, but rather, to surrender to Jesus. Jesus is the one who gives a new dignity to "other people." Jesus is the one who gives us a new definition of love. Jesus is the one who leads us to look outward rather than inward to become a real self.
The first requirement for becoming a real self is to have a relationship with the Creator. The second requirement is to have a relationship with other people. If these relationships are kept in their proper order, then becoming a real self is a forgone conclusion.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Jesus repeated this teaching several times in the gospels; it must be important. Becoming a real self is a requirement to being a psychologically and emotionally healthy person. The key to becoming a real self is not to be so self-absorbed so that every pleasure has to be experienced, or to become introspective to the point of being self-possessed, but rather, to surrender to Jesus. Jesus is the one who gives a new dignity to "other people." Jesus is the one who gives us a new definition of love. Jesus is the one who leads us to look outward rather than inward to become a real self.
The first requirement for becoming a real self is to have a relationship with the Creator. The second requirement is to have a relationship with other people. If these relationships are kept in their proper order, then becoming a real self is a forgone conclusion.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Monday, April 14, 2008
THE POWER OF NEGATIVE THINKING
"Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Philippians 4:8).
We talk about the power of positive thinking. Making the decision to think positively about life, about the good things of life and even looking on the positive side of negative events can have a powerful effect on your moods. Indeed, any way we choose to think can have a powerful effect on our moods. In fact, some authorities believe that the negative thinking and pessimism that characterizes depression actually causes it.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
We talk about the power of positive thinking. Making the decision to think positively about life, about the good things of life and even looking on the positive side of negative events can have a powerful effect on your moods. Indeed, any way we choose to think can have a powerful effect on our moods. In fact, some authorities believe that the negative thinking and pessimism that characterizes depression actually causes it.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
INTIMACY
"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces" (Matthew 7:6).
What is intimate is what is inmost or private. An intimate relationship is when one can share what is most inmost or most private with another without fear. Safety is an essential requisite for intimacy. To become vulnerable and share one's inner most thoughts, feelings and dreams with another without them being trampled on and disrespected is essential to intimacy. The surrendering of one's self to a sexual relationship in love, only to have the other view it as a conquest or a business transaction is exactly one of the meanings of these words of Jesus.
Understanding is another requisite for intimacy. One of the killers of intimacy is criticism. Why should one of the spouses share his/her share inner most thoughts and feelings with the other who is constantly critical. As a result, the spouses grow apart, though they live in the same house and sleep in the same bed. Granted, one's inmost thoughts, feelings and dreams may be dysfunctional and unrealistic, but they must be understood. Doing this takes effort, making time to listen and understand. Most of the time, intimacy wanes in a marriage because there are too many things to do, making a living and living up to our responsibilities, we think we already understand. One of the biggest reasons for affairs is the search for intimacy.
Intimacy is a real need. It is the need to love and be loved for who we are. There are many who try to fill this need by throwing their inmost selves out there to be ravaged by "pigs" and "dogs" only to have their needs unmet and to become course and hard themselves. Be careful who you give yourself to.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
What is intimate is what is inmost or private. An intimate relationship is when one can share what is most inmost or most private with another without fear. Safety is an essential requisite for intimacy. To become vulnerable and share one's inner most thoughts, feelings and dreams with another without them being trampled on and disrespected is essential to intimacy. The surrendering of one's self to a sexual relationship in love, only to have the other view it as a conquest or a business transaction is exactly one of the meanings of these words of Jesus.
Understanding is another requisite for intimacy. One of the killers of intimacy is criticism. Why should one of the spouses share his/her share inner most thoughts and feelings with the other who is constantly critical. As a result, the spouses grow apart, though they live in the same house and sleep in the same bed. Granted, one's inmost thoughts, feelings and dreams may be dysfunctional and unrealistic, but they must be understood. Doing this takes effort, making time to listen and understand. Most of the time, intimacy wanes in a marriage because there are too many things to do, making a living and living up to our responsibilities, we think we already understand. One of the biggest reasons for affairs is the search for intimacy.
Intimacy is a real need. It is the need to love and be loved for who we are. There are many who try to fill this need by throwing their inmost selves out there to be ravaged by "pigs" and "dogs" only to have their needs unmet and to become course and hard themselves. Be careful who you give yourself to.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Saturday, April 05, 2008
FIRST THINGS FIRST FOR GREAT SEX
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be yours as well" (Matthew 6:33).
C.S. Lewis said that when 'first things are put first, second things will increase as well.' It is interesting that Sigmund Freud believed that the sex drive was the primary drive of humanity. He is the father of modern sexual promiscuity yet his own sex life was very impoverished. Really, that is the case with the majority of sexual libertines. Not only do they have to deal with the physical diseases that accompany promiscuity, but they come to the place where they are unable to be emotionally intimate. They become lonely, seeing others as sex objects rather than as people. But, when first things are first and God's boundaries are honored, then sex becomes something really good. Rather than having impoverished sex lives, the sex resulting from a truly intimate marriage is rich. Admittedly, the are married couples who lack intimacy and thus their sex lives are impoverished too, but the truth is that when a couple respects God's boundaries and makes emotional intimacy primary in their relationship then their sexual relationship will be rich too.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
C.S. Lewis said that when 'first things are put first, second things will increase as well.' It is interesting that Sigmund Freud believed that the sex drive was the primary drive of humanity. He is the father of modern sexual promiscuity yet his own sex life was very impoverished. Really, that is the case with the majority of sexual libertines. Not only do they have to deal with the physical diseases that accompany promiscuity, but they come to the place where they are unable to be emotionally intimate. They become lonely, seeing others as sex objects rather than as people. But, when first things are first and God's boundaries are honored, then sex becomes something really good. Rather than having impoverished sex lives, the sex resulting from a truly intimate marriage is rich. Admittedly, the are married couples who lack intimacy and thus their sex lives are impoverished too, but the truth is that when a couple respects God's boundaries and makes emotional intimacy primary in their relationship then their sexual relationship will be rich too.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
WORSHIPPING THE SEX GOD
"Put to death, therefore, what is earthly in you: sexual immorality. . .which is idolatry" (Colossians 3:5).
Watching an ad about a drug that treats genital herpes prompted me to write this. The drug inhibits the transmission of the herpes virus to a partner, but does not prohibit it. The same can be said of the use of condoms and vaccinations to deterr the HPV and the development of cirvical cancer. Those who are dealing with HIV gulp dozens of expensive pill to deter the advancement of a disease that will eventually claim their lives years before their otherwise normal life-expectancy. The ads imply, like the cigarette ads of old, that if you use these things life will be even more blissful because one "can have his cake and eat it too." One can engage in promiscuous sex and not suffer the consequences. Of course the reality is that it is no fun to have to deal with sexually transmitted disease. And condoms and vaccinations only deter, but do not prevent, the diseases a problems that accompany sexual promiscuity. The sex god is a demanding god! He will get his offerings!
The sex-drive is a powerful thing. It is a wonderful gift from God! However, when it is given a priority that is higher than the boundaries that God intended to contain it, sex becomes a god, an idol. It is a free country. I am proposing no new laws. You can choose the god whom you will worship, but you will not worship the sex god without giving him his offering--which will be your life. We only need to enforce the pornography laws we already have, the reason being that pornography predisposes boys to sex addiction. What a load our society imposes on our boys!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Watching an ad about a drug that treats genital herpes prompted me to write this. The drug inhibits the transmission of the herpes virus to a partner, but does not prohibit it. The same can be said of the use of condoms and vaccinations to deterr the HPV and the development of cirvical cancer. Those who are dealing with HIV gulp dozens of expensive pill to deter the advancement of a disease that will eventually claim their lives years before their otherwise normal life-expectancy. The ads imply, like the cigarette ads of old, that if you use these things life will be even more blissful because one "can have his cake and eat it too." One can engage in promiscuous sex and not suffer the consequences. Of course the reality is that it is no fun to have to deal with sexually transmitted disease. And condoms and vaccinations only deter, but do not prevent, the diseases a problems that accompany sexual promiscuity. The sex god is a demanding god! He will get his offerings!
The sex-drive is a powerful thing. It is a wonderful gift from God! However, when it is given a priority that is higher than the boundaries that God intended to contain it, sex becomes a god, an idol. It is a free country. I am proposing no new laws. You can choose the god whom you will worship, but you will not worship the sex god without giving him his offering--which will be your life. We only need to enforce the pornography laws we already have, the reason being that pornography predisposes boys to sex addiction. What a load our society imposes on our boys!
Grace&Peace,
Tom
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