MOVING ON

'Teach people to live with loss as opposed to forget and move on' (A paraphrased statement from grief workshop).

In our culture, dealing with grief has become a neat five-step process that, when it is finished, enables one to "move on" with their life. "Move on" has always been a troublesome phrase for me because of the implication that what is past should be left behind and that there should be no pain.

Moving on is necessary because life moves on; one is sick when they live in the past. Nevertheless, our very identity is linked to the past. The people, places and situations of our past all have something to do with who we are now. To leave them behind, try to forget and act as they never existed is sick too. Even heaven will not be a healthy place if there is no memory, no connection to the past because without that there is no personal identity.

Even though a person needs to learn to adjust to a new life and learn to function acceptably, does not mean that pain will end. There will be songs, smells, sights, and sounds, touches and tastes that will suddenly bring back memories of the one lost; at some unguarded moment feelings of grief will return. It must be understood that moving on means that some pain comes along in the baggage.

"...that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope" (I Thessalonians 4:13). The great dynamic that helps us to move on is the hope that we have ahead of us when we will live for eternity with our loved ones in Christ!

Grace&Peace;
Tom