"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words" (Romans 8:26).
"In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart" (John Bunyon).
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
BLIND SPOTS
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23-24).
Blind spots; we all have them. Physically, there is a spot on the retina of each eye where the optic nerve is attached; there are no rods and cones on that spot so there is no sight in that place. Every person has a blind spot in each eye--that should make you want to look twice before you pull out into traffic.
Actually, a blind spot is any lack of self-awareness, it can be physical, psychological, social or spiritual. A blind spot can cause destruction, death and mayhem simply because one wasn't willing to look twice before pulling out into traffic; the psychological, social and spiritual consequences can be just as devastating if a blind spot is not acknowledged.
First, social and emotional blind spots can have a physical cause, for instance, a person with Aspberger's Syndrome lacks mirror neurons in his brain which enable him to read the emotions of another. It is, therefore, extremely difficult for him to have appropriate sensitivity in social situations because he cannot "see" and so life is much more difficult for him. A whole list of brain dysfunctions could be compiled that cause a lack of social and emotional awareness.
Unrecognized bias and prejudice also create blind spots. To make decisions simply on the basis of felt beliefs without examining them can be very dangerous and be the cause a lot of collateral pain.
Most people go around in a kind of hypnotic state open to the power of suggestion. When the conventional worldly wisdom makes a suggestion, we tend to hop on the bandwagon. When one refuses to consider that the conventional wisdom might be wrong then a huge blind spot is created. Just six months ago, who would have believed we would be dealing with such a bad economy as this? The conventional wisdom said otherwise! And, who would have thought that a guy running a ponzi scheme could cheat some very "smart" people out of fifty billion dollars? Anyone who questioned his "investment" scheme was thought to be stupid.
Now there are some people who will never admit to having a blind spot--narcissist and other self-absorbed people come to mind. But, for the rest of us, especially during this Festivus season (I couldn't resist), it is important to remember that we do have some places in our lives where there is a lack of awareness and need to ask for God's help to see them. The Lord may send a mean-spirited critic to help us see. Our worst critics can be our best friends if there is truth in their criticisms. The Lord has given us His Word, His Spirit, teachers, preachers, counselors and may be even a mean-spirited critic to help us see.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Blind spots; we all have them. Physically, there is a spot on the retina of each eye where the optic nerve is attached; there are no rods and cones on that spot so there is no sight in that place. Every person has a blind spot in each eye--that should make you want to look twice before you pull out into traffic.
Actually, a blind spot is any lack of self-awareness, it can be physical, psychological, social or spiritual. A blind spot can cause destruction, death and mayhem simply because one wasn't willing to look twice before pulling out into traffic; the psychological, social and spiritual consequences can be just as devastating if a blind spot is not acknowledged.
First, social and emotional blind spots can have a physical cause, for instance, a person with Aspberger's Syndrome lacks mirror neurons in his brain which enable him to read the emotions of another. It is, therefore, extremely difficult for him to have appropriate sensitivity in social situations because he cannot "see" and so life is much more difficult for him. A whole list of brain dysfunctions could be compiled that cause a lack of social and emotional awareness.
Unrecognized bias and prejudice also create blind spots. To make decisions simply on the basis of felt beliefs without examining them can be very dangerous and be the cause a lot of collateral pain.
Most people go around in a kind of hypnotic state open to the power of suggestion. When the conventional worldly wisdom makes a suggestion, we tend to hop on the bandwagon. When one refuses to consider that the conventional wisdom might be wrong then a huge blind spot is created. Just six months ago, who would have believed we would be dealing with such a bad economy as this? The conventional wisdom said otherwise! And, who would have thought that a guy running a ponzi scheme could cheat some very "smart" people out of fifty billion dollars? Anyone who questioned his "investment" scheme was thought to be stupid.
Now there are some people who will never admit to having a blind spot--narcissist and other self-absorbed people come to mind. But, for the rest of us, especially during this Festivus season (I couldn't resist), it is important to remember that we do have some places in our lives where there is a lack of awareness and need to ask for God's help to see them. The Lord may send a mean-spirited critic to help us see. Our worst critics can be our best friends if there is truth in their criticisms. The Lord has given us His Word, His Spirit, teachers, preachers, counselors and may be even a mean-spirited critic to help us see.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
Thursday, December 11, 2008
WHAT TO KEEP & WHAT TO THROW AWAY 3
In an earlier post I related How Helen was going through all of the memorabilia stored in a bed room that we want to use when we have our family home for Christmas. One of the items Helen had sorted for the "Sacred Fire"* was a 1907 charcoal sketch of Abraham Lincoln with these words by Lincoln printed beneath the picture:
"I do the very best I know how--the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference." --Abraham Lincoln.
Lincoln had a way of putting life into perspective. George Bush would especially benefit from these words, as would we all.
The picture is in poor condition, but I thought with appropriate cropping and matting it could be a great antique wall hanging again. Should I keep it or should I give it a dignified end?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
*The "Sacred Fire" is a fire ring in our back yard dedicated to the burning of memorabilia not important enough to keep, but too dear just to be tossed in the dumpster. Also, worn-out flags, Bibles and Christian materials that are too far out of date to be useful find a dignified ending in the "Sacred Fire." We can then dispose of these things with a clear conscience.
"I do the very best I know how--the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference." --Abraham Lincoln.
Lincoln had a way of putting life into perspective. George Bush would especially benefit from these words, as would we all.
The picture is in poor condition, but I thought with appropriate cropping and matting it could be a great antique wall hanging again. Should I keep it or should I give it a dignified end?
Grace&Peace,
Tom
*The "Sacred Fire" is a fire ring in our back yard dedicated to the burning of memorabilia not important enough to keep, but too dear just to be tossed in the dumpster. Also, worn-out flags, Bibles and Christian materials that are too far out of date to be useful find a dignified ending in the "Sacred Fire." We can then dispose of these things with a clear conscience.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
MARRIAGE FOR GAYS AND LESBIANS?
"Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
When a lesbian couple was "married" by the authority of the state of Connecticut this fall, one of the partners said that being married felt different than a civil union.* This couple already had a civil union which officially legalized and recognized their relationship. It set me to questioning, "What is different about being married than having a civil union?" What are the practical differences? I can think of only one--faith. Marriage comes from the realm of faith. Marriage was established by God--not by the state. He established the boundaries for it. In the Bible there is never a provision for gay or lesbian marriage--unless, of course, a gay guy and a lesbian marry each other.
Marriage is a faith relationship. A civil union is not a faith relationship, rather it is a legal relationship established by the state. Though a civil union is legal it is not sanctioned by God. The push for same-sex marriage is a desperate attempt by gays and lesbians to receive God's blessing on their relationship.
Some gays and lesbians may argue that being "married" normalizes their relationship and that they would not be stigmatized if they were "married." In a civil union the state gives legal sanction to the relationship, what more is needed--the approval of God? If the state normalizes the relationship why should God's approval be necessary?
When the state "marries" same-sex couples it is becoming involved in God's business. The wall of separation of church and state has been violated by the state. Whatever the decree of the state, it will not change the Word of God. It will only be marriage in the sight of man, but not in the sight of God! The logical conclusion of the state becoming involved in matters of faith is to make criminals of those who believe the Bible.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
*from my memory of a newscast when Connecticut's same-sex marriage law when into effect.
When a lesbian couple was "married" by the authority of the state of Connecticut this fall, one of the partners said that being married felt different than a civil union.* This couple already had a civil union which officially legalized and recognized their relationship. It set me to questioning, "What is different about being married than having a civil union?" What are the practical differences? I can think of only one--faith. Marriage comes from the realm of faith. Marriage was established by God--not by the state. He established the boundaries for it. In the Bible there is never a provision for gay or lesbian marriage--unless, of course, a gay guy and a lesbian marry each other.
Marriage is a faith relationship. A civil union is not a faith relationship, rather it is a legal relationship established by the state. Though a civil union is legal it is not sanctioned by God. The push for same-sex marriage is a desperate attempt by gays and lesbians to receive God's blessing on their relationship.
Some gays and lesbians may argue that being "married" normalizes their relationship and that they would not be stigmatized if they were "married." In a civil union the state gives legal sanction to the relationship, what more is needed--the approval of God? If the state normalizes the relationship why should God's approval be necessary?
When the state "marries" same-sex couples it is becoming involved in God's business. The wall of separation of church and state has been violated by the state. Whatever the decree of the state, it will not change the Word of God. It will only be marriage in the sight of man, but not in the sight of God! The logical conclusion of the state becoming involved in matters of faith is to make criminals of those who believe the Bible.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
*from my memory of a newscast when Connecticut's same-sex marriage law when into effect.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
WHAT TO KEEP & WHAT TO THROW AWAY 2
". . . but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).
The psychological/emotional/spiritual house cleaning, which must be done periodically, is not an easy thing to do either. Not only are there old habits and addictions to be dealt with, but there are a lot of traumas to deal with too. How is it done?
Yesterday, I had some business that took me to Spirit Lake, Iowa. On the return trip I made a short excursion around to where my grandfather's cottage had been on west lake Okoboji. The cottage is gone now, replaced by a much larger house. A flood of memories came back to me as I looked out over the lake; almost all of them good. One memory of this lake is actually a dream. In the months following the deaths of my brother and my dad, I began to have a recurring dream of swimming out towards the middle of the bay--I was too far out to get back to our dock but too far away from the other shore to swim there either. I was drowning! I had that dream several times--enough times so that I talked to a psychologist professor friend of mine about it. He told me that I was having a normal grief experience. My psychologist friend, being a Christian, was affirming and assuring that, though we cannot get back to the familiar, happy and safe times of yesterday, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will take us to the far shore that is infinitely better. I haven't had that dream in a couple of years, but seeing the lake yesterday made me think of it.
Granted, there are issues that are not easy to let go of, so much so, in fact, that you might need some one to help you with them; do not be afraid to see a counselor. However, the rational hope we have in Christ helps us understand the relative value of all the other stuff we have in our psychological store room. Our hope helps us to sort them out and let all the junk go.
Grace&Peace;
Tom
I wanted to add this verse to the posting of yesterday because it is a verse that reinforces my argument that having hope in Christ helps us deal with the internal house keeping that we all need to do. "And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure" (I John 3:3).
The psychological/emotional/spiritual house cleaning, which must be done periodically, is not an easy thing to do either. Not only are there old habits and addictions to be dealt with, but there are a lot of traumas to deal with too. How is it done?
Yesterday, I had some business that took me to Spirit Lake, Iowa. On the return trip I made a short excursion around to where my grandfather's cottage had been on west lake Okoboji. The cottage is gone now, replaced by a much larger house. A flood of memories came back to me as I looked out over the lake; almost all of them good. One memory of this lake is actually a dream. In the months following the deaths of my brother and my dad, I began to have a recurring dream of swimming out towards the middle of the bay--I was too far out to get back to our dock but too far away from the other shore to swim there either. I was drowning! I had that dream several times--enough times so that I talked to a psychologist professor friend of mine about it. He told me that I was having a normal grief experience. My psychologist friend, being a Christian, was affirming and assuring that, though we cannot get back to the familiar, happy and safe times of yesterday, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will take us to the far shore that is infinitely better. I haven't had that dream in a couple of years, but seeing the lake yesterday made me think of it.
Granted, there are issues that are not easy to let go of, so much so, in fact, that you might need some one to help you with them; do not be afraid to see a counselor. However, the rational hope we have in Christ helps us understand the relative value of all the other stuff we have in our psychological store room. Our hope helps us to sort them out and let all the junk go.
Grace&Peace;
Tom
I wanted to add this verse to the posting of yesterday because it is a verse that reinforces my argument that having hope in Christ helps us deal with the internal house keeping that we all need to do. "And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure" (I John 3:3).
Monday, December 01, 2008
WHAT TO KEEP & WHAT TO THROW AWAY
"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways" (I Corinthians 13:11).
In our house my wife, the lovely and gracious Helen, and I have a bedroom that has served as a storeroom for years. It has been filled with memorabilia and things we "might use some day." Well, with the Christmas holidays approaching and the prospect of adult children and grandchildren filling the house, we need the space in the bedroom for sleeping. So, Helen has been busy for the last several weeks sorting through what to keep and what to throw away. It is an activity that I dare not do because my disposition is to throw a lot away that my wife and my children might want to keep.
So how is it that we know how to differentiate what to keep and what to throw away? It is not an easy question to answer because one person's junk is another person's treasure. Also, life transitions are not easy for some--throwing away a card or a paper is almost like throwing away a memory. Even if they are never accessed we know that they are safely stored in the storeroom somewhere for us to access should the need arise. We lose control of the past if we throw these things away. Incidentally, Helen is an archivist--she is a Creative Memories consultant in case any of you readers are in need of archival products. An orderly archiving of pictures and papers is a wonderful asset to a family's story and it can settle some family disagreements too. Back to the point of the paragraph, there is only so much space in the house, how do you know what to keep and what to throw away?
1. Is it pertinent to current legal, medical, employment and business matters?
2. Is it something that has a possible immediate use? (If it hasn't been used in the last year, probably it will not be used.)
3. Does it give an important insight into the development and disposition of children? By that I mean that important pictures, papers and records need to be kept.
4. All love letters should be kept so that children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren can understand their ancestors. In this digital age, letters written on paper with ink are going to be hard to come by!
5. Does it have material value so that it can be immediately sold or given away with a clear conscience? If "we could sell it on ebay" but never get around to it--throw it away!!!
6. Is it an important part of your spiritual journey?
7. Collections are not important to me--they are dust collectors and take up space. If a collection cannot be displayed or used them let it go.
When I started this post I intended that it be a metaphor for doing the psychological/emotional/spiritual house cleaning that we need to do now and then too. What in our past and in our minds and our hearts needs to be kept and what needs to be thrown away? I will pick it up there tomorrow.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
In our house my wife, the lovely and gracious Helen, and I have a bedroom that has served as a storeroom for years. It has been filled with memorabilia and things we "might use some day." Well, with the Christmas holidays approaching and the prospect of adult children and grandchildren filling the house, we need the space in the bedroom for sleeping. So, Helen has been busy for the last several weeks sorting through what to keep and what to throw away. It is an activity that I dare not do because my disposition is to throw a lot away that my wife and my children might want to keep.
So how is it that we know how to differentiate what to keep and what to throw away? It is not an easy question to answer because one person's junk is another person's treasure. Also, life transitions are not easy for some--throwing away a card or a paper is almost like throwing away a memory. Even if they are never accessed we know that they are safely stored in the storeroom somewhere for us to access should the need arise. We lose control of the past if we throw these things away. Incidentally, Helen is an archivist--she is a Creative Memories consultant in case any of you readers are in need of archival products. An orderly archiving of pictures and papers is a wonderful asset to a family's story and it can settle some family disagreements too. Back to the point of the paragraph, there is only so much space in the house, how do you know what to keep and what to throw away?
1. Is it pertinent to current legal, medical, employment and business matters?
2. Is it something that has a possible immediate use? (If it hasn't been used in the last year, probably it will not be used.)
3. Does it give an important insight into the development and disposition of children? By that I mean that important pictures, papers and records need to be kept.
4. All love letters should be kept so that children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren can understand their ancestors. In this digital age, letters written on paper with ink are going to be hard to come by!
5. Does it have material value so that it can be immediately sold or given away with a clear conscience? If "we could sell it on ebay" but never get around to it--throw it away!!!
6. Is it an important part of your spiritual journey?
7. Collections are not important to me--they are dust collectors and take up space. If a collection cannot be displayed or used them let it go.
When I started this post I intended that it be a metaphor for doing the psychological/emotional/spiritual house cleaning that we need to do now and then too. What in our past and in our minds and our hearts needs to be kept and what needs to be thrown away? I will pick it up there tomorrow.
Grace&Peace,
Tom
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