RIDING REALITY

One of the reasons I write a blog is to "play" around with thoughts and ideas turning them into sermon illustrations, meditations and counseling stories. They do not always get "fleshed out" completely, but you get to see some of the raw material. Remember "LIFE IS A RODEO?" I told you a little about the time I rode a bare-back bronco in the rodeo. This is a continuation of that.

Everybody has to be a cowboy because we each have to ride "Reality," the bronco that cannot be broken. There are times when it seems to be a beautiful and gentle horse, but in a flash it can turn into a raging, kicking, twisting, turning, bucking beast that will put down the best of riders. I remember that first Frontier-Days rodeo, the cowboy that rode just ahead of me was a seasoned veteran rider. When the gate opened on the chute, the horse lunged out of the chute, bucked high in the air and twisted. That cowboy was down on the first buck. Naturally athletic, and humble, and having ridden many horses, I had been confident, but after seeing what that bronc did to the previous rider, I wondered how I would ride "Reality," the horse that I had drawn. For a moment I thought about backing out, but too-late, my name was called. I climbed over the top of the chute, gripping the rigging with my right hand, the left hand had to be in the air and I had to "spur" with my heels. The gate opened and Reality lunged out of the chute, bucking high and hard, hard enough to tear the skin out of the palm of my right hand. I spurred, holding my left-hand free. The buzzer sounded, the pick-up man yelled, "Tom, I'm here," but I could not see him because the horse was bucking so hard that my vision was just a blurr. So I just jumped off. My time on Reality was just about 8 seconds--in real reality, it is a life-time.

So what does this have to do with life? See you tomorrow.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

"Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward being . . ." (Psalms 51:6a).

Not everyone who comes to a counselor with a problem wants a solution. There is a payoff in having the problem and the counselee simply desires confirmation that the problem is unsolvable. A person like this is a victim and desires to retain their victim status. Many are the clients who come with a problem, and there is always a misfortune which prevents them from doing anything about it. "The car broke down so I couldn't make it to the job interview" kind of thing, or "I've sent out ten applications, but no one answers."

I have had a number of clients who seem to have a never ending run of bad luck which prevents them from accomplishment. They see themselves as victims of life's unlucky lottery. A person like this cannot be helped until they see the truth. The truth is that they do not want to accept responsibility nor do they want to take any risks. These kind of people see money as a solution to their problem, but one of the great truths of life is, MONEY WILL NOT SOLVE A NONMONEY PROBLEM!!!!

"therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart" (Psalms 51:6b). The real problem behind most of our external problems is spiritual. We do not trust God, we do not want to obey God, and we do not want to accept responsibility, we would rather be victims. Until a person is brought face to face with this, they cannot be helped.

There was one in the Bible who was an exception to this, Job. Now that would be a tough counseling job. But the Job's are rare. Almost all of our problems have their roots in a spiritual problem.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

I BELIEVE. . .

I'm going to the funeral today of an old friend. As I was doing my devotional reading this morning I read these words which allied forces found in an abandoned house in Germany following World War II; probably words of a holocaust victim. They were God's gift to me for the day and I wanted to share them with you. "I believe in the sun, even when it does not shine. I believe in love, even when it is not shown. I believe in God, even when He is silent."

Grace&Peace;
Tom

COUNTING THE COST

One of the truths of problem solving is, "there is no cost-free or painless way of dealing with the problem situation." Most of the time people expect the counselor to work find an easy-does-it cure, win-win solution, but that is an unrealistic expectation. The only pain-free cure is a miracle. I believe in miracles, but one of the characteristics of miracles is that they are rare. For the Christian, the Spirit will be along side and strengthen as problems are appropriately faced. The Spirit will help deal with the pain.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

CHOICES

"It is not your abilities, but your choices, that determine who you are." --professor Dumbledor to Harry Potter

Grace&Peace;
Tom

THE BAD AND THE GOOD HABITS OF RELATIONSHIPS

Everybody is into controlling the actions of someone else--we all do it! Evangelical Christians do it more than most, which is one of the reasons that the divorce rate for evangelical Christians is a tad higher than the general population. There are 8 deadly habits that can kill a relationship:
1. Criticizing,
2. Blaming,
3. Complaining,
4. Nagging,
5. Threatening,
6. Punishing,
7. Bribery,
8. Ignoring.

There are also 8 healthy habits that can bless any relationship:
1. Supporting,
2. Encouraging,
3. LISTENING,
4. Accepting,
5. Trusting,
6. Respecting,
7. Negotiating differences,
8. Praying for each other.

This is simple "common-sense" stuff, but apparently, common sense isn't that common. If these positive skills can be made into habits, any relationship will be blessed.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

RELAX

When you are sick, relax. A lot of stress inhibits the function of the immune system. When you are sick you are already under a lot of stress, do not add to it with a lot of anxious or negative thinking. That will only prolong your illness. One of the ways to disarm negative stressors is to emphasize the positive and good. This is my paraphrase of Psalm 1:1-3:

Happy is the one whose way is not determined by the influence of the world nor the lies of satan. He delight is in the Word of God. It is in the Word that he meditates constantly, relating it to his life day and night. One who does this will always be able to bear fruit, even in times of great distress because God is his nourishment and his comfort.

Remember: Satan is the great discourager; the Spirit of Christ the great encourager. Meditation is the best relaxation.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

SWEAT EQUITY

According to some recent research at Iowa State, exercising elderly mice boosts their immunity systems so that they are more like young mice. For people it seems to be true too. Many of the diseases that afflict us in old age are simply caused by weakening immune systems. Exercise enough to sweat every day, that will help keep you young.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

LIFE IS A RODEO

This week I received a call from Abbyville, Kansas, the location of my first pastoral ministry. The church there has built a new building; it is being dedicated this Sunday. I sent the congregation a note of blessing on their new building to be read at their dedication service. Writing the note started memories flowing in my humble little brain.

Abbyville was my first ministry. Preaching and scholarship are not strong points of mine, but the church was blessed and Helen and I were blessed by them.

It was in Abbyville that I had my first pastoral counseling sessions. I knew a little psychology, a little counseling method, a little Bible and a little theology so I walked in where angels fear to tread.

It was in Abbyville that I did my first rodeo performance. The first weekend of May, Abbyville hosts the Frontier Days Rodeo. It was in 1973 that I rode a bare-back bronc in the rodeo before thousands of spectators. The horse was a good bucker, but I did the time, and I did score well--I should have made a career of it.

From all this I made the observation that preaching, counseling and bronc riding have some similarities. You have to pray hard, get a firm grip, use all your ability and skill, and trust God for the out-come. I could write a chapter about each of those similarities, but I want to quickly mention that the "firm grip" is having a firm grip on "Reality," the bronco we all ride. Having a firm grip in the gloved-hand of faith. When I rode that bronco I did it without a glove. It tore the skin out of the palm of my hand, so great was the power generated by that horse. Faith is a great protector(Ephesians 6:16). *

Grace&Peace;
Tom

*I'm watching my granddaughter so I haven't time to finish it as it should be. If you have any thoughts, let me know.

BEAUTY TIPS WRAP UP 2

"And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14).

I meant to include this in the first beauty wrap up and simply forgot it. But it is too important just to let it go. The writer of Esther describes her as being "beautiful and lovely" (2:7). Esther had a natural gift of physical beauty. During a time of crisis the future of a people rested on her beauty and grace. Beauty is not an unimportant gift. It is good to cultivate it and enhance it with charisma because beauty without grace doesn't get one very far either; check out queen Vashti in that same book of Esther.

The blessing of natural beauty is a gift. It is necessary for those who possess it to consider how God wants them to use it; it may be for such a time as this!

Grace&Peace;
Tom

BEAUTY TIPS WRAP UP

Did you know that babies as young as eight months will stare at an attractive female face, of any race and culture, longer than an average or less attractive face. This early recognition of beauty may be one indication of what it means to be created in the image of God. God loves beauty. He creates it. He lives in it, "...strength and beauty are in His sanctuary" (Psalms 96:6b). "He has made everything beautiful in its time. . ."(Ecclesiates 3:11). I'm not a Hebrew scholar, but I do know that the word which is translated "beautiful" in this verse is the same one used to describe the countinance of David in I Sam. 16:12. It is only God who can take what is ugly and turn it into something beautiful!

The best makeup is a makeover for the soul, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, and the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit" (I Peter 3:3-4). It is not that good hair styles, jewelry and clothes are wrong. They can enhance your physical appearance. However if one depends on those things for beauty, it is wasted money! I have seen plenty of people who had all these things that literally looked miserable. Joyless lives were written into their faces.

Of Jesus it was prophesied that, "...he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him" (Isa. 53:2b). I doubt that Jesus was a handsome person. I see him as being Lincolnesque. Lincoln, the second great emancipator, was ridiculed because of his looks, but was made handsome by what he did. I have never thought of him as being anything other than handsome. So I think it was with Jesus. He was probably not a physically handsome individual, but was made beautiful by what he accomplished for you and me. So it can be with you. Great people wind up being gorgeous, but gorgeous people seldom wind up being great!

Grace&Peace;
Tom

BEAUTY TIPS 4

7. You get better with age. If we can keep a smiles on our faces so that we have smile wrinkles in our faces and work out with some degree of regularity, we will tend to look better and feel more attractive as we age. It amazes me at the amount of young people who already have frowns etched in their faces and flab stretched in their figuares. Just smiling and working out makes one feel more attractive, even more so as one ages.

8. Beauty isn't the "silver bullet" that will transform your life. Naturally beautiful people are no happier than the rest of us. I asked my wife once if I was handsome. She said, "Weeeeeell, yooou areeee ruggedly handsome." Even us "ruggedly handsome" folks have to deal with life like everyone else. Sure, there are times when we receive preferential treatment because of our looks, but our loved-ones die, we suffer from accidents, disease and hardship too. There has to be something more substantive that helps us through these things. Life can't be successfully lived on looks alone.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

*The eight BEAUTY TIPS were adapted from an article in "Psychology Today"(June 2006).

BEAUTY TIPS 3

Have you considered that God wants His people to be attractive people? When one thinks of John the Baptizer, well may be not. A guy that didn't shave, dressed in camel's hair, ate locusts and wild honey doesn't sound like an attractive dude. However, he was a great speaker, was blunt and to-the-point. His style makes Dr. Laura sound soft and sweet, but just like callers call Dr. Laura, many came to the desert to have their toes stomped on by John. There is something about confident commitment to God that is attractive.

5. Become aware of your self-talk. I doubt that John ever said to himself, "You loser. What are you doing wandering around in the desert in this itchey camel's hair sweater. Why don't you get a real job?!?" Stop the negative self talk. God created you. Jesus died for you. You are of greater worth than anything in all the world. It is because of this truth that you are desirable to other people. When you understand this you become warm and interesting to other people.

6. Dress in a way that says, "I'm approachable." I'm sure John's camel's hair sweater said, "come and talk to me." It is not how beautiful you are but how approachable you are.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

BEAUTY TIPS 2

I apologize for keeping you all waiting on "Beauty Tips 2." With soy harvesting in full swing I have been busy. You might ask, "What does an old geezer like you know about beauty anyway?" I'm starting to get up there in years, but I'm not dead yet! Any one who knows the Lord knows something about beauty because God is the author of beauty. He is surrounded by it, and He is the one who knows what it takes to be truly beautiful.

3. It's not about you. Do not focus on your self. When you do that you become more critical of yourself. Rather, make yourself approach others and make them feel wanted. Then your own insecurities will diminish. It is this kind of socialization that will make you appear to be more attractive to others.

4. Do not think of your body as an object to be gazed upon, but as a performing object. If it is a performing object it can be trained and transformed. This change in thinking changes one from being helpless and passive to being more proactive and powerful and that is attractive.

Grace&Peace;
Tom