But they who hope in the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31).
President's Day weekend, Helen and I flew to California to help celebrate daughter Rebecca's, son-in-law Kirk's and grandson Parker's February birthdays. Even though the California weather was on the gloomy side, we had a great time together! Flying is not one of my favorite things to do, but if we allow our fears and dislikes to dictate our lives we will never eat of the best fruit!
One of my dealing-with-anxiety strategies is to say the 23rd Psalm as the big jet engines begin to roar and the plane begins it ascent into the heavens. Knowing the one who cares for me and provides for me is very reassuring. Actually, the flying part of the trip was without a problem this year as compared with other years when we flew another airline--I do think that some are better than others! But, the driving part of the trip did have its perils. Helen and I had to be on the road at 2 in the morning to be ready for a 6:40 departure in Omaha. It was a foggy morning and I was driving a little faster than I should have been driving given the conditions. Suddenly a small herd of deer appeared on the road. I'm still not sure how we made it through them without damage, but we did, passing between the 2nd and 3rd ones with only a hard brush.
The other driving incident was in Stockton, CA when our son-in-law, absorbed in conversation, ran a red light. Wow! In California traffic, to not have a bad collision was something almost miraculous! Before I begin a trip, I always ask the Lord for traveling mercies and I am certainly glad I did on this trip!
Helen and I are glad to be at home, back in our routines, but we are certainly thankful for the wonderful weekend with which our Heavenly Father blessed us!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
AN UNEXPECTED BLESSING
The righteous man perishes, and no one lays it to heart; devout men are taken away, while no one understands. For the righteous man is taken away from calamity, he enters into peace; they rest in their beds who walk in their uprightness (Isaiah 57:1-2).
The building where my counseling office is located has been sold so I have to move my office. I have to be moved by March 1st. As a result I have been weeding through old files and books and am confronted by the age-old dilemma, "What should I keep and what should I throw away?" I found a devotional book by Max Lucado that a friend had given to me when I graduated from seminary. The book fell open to a devotional on Isaiah 57:1-2 from the Living Bible. The Living Bible says it this way: The good men perish; the godly die before their time and no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to realize that God is taking them away from the evil days ahead. For the godly who die shall rest in peace. This scripture helped me come to terms with my own personal questions and grief.
I've seen it happen several times in the course of my pastoral ministry where a family member will die and the "wheels" seem to come off the family. The family will fall into immorality, alcohol, substance abuse and estrangement, rejecting the very values by which the family apparently lived. It has often been my question to God, "If that person wouldn't have died, his family would still be functional. Why did you let him die?" In many cases, family unity on family values is only apparent. It wouldn't have made any difference if the family member lived or died, eventually the family would have come apart. The death of the righteous one spares him from the heart ache and sorrows of the evil days ahead. It might be that the grave is God's protection from a terrible future.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
The building where my counseling office is located has been sold so I have to move my office. I have to be moved by March 1st. As a result I have been weeding through old files and books and am confronted by the age-old dilemma, "What should I keep and what should I throw away?" I found a devotional book by Max Lucado that a friend had given to me when I graduated from seminary. The book fell open to a devotional on Isaiah 57:1-2 from the Living Bible. The Living Bible says it this way: The good men perish; the godly die before their time and no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to realize that God is taking them away from the evil days ahead. For the godly who die shall rest in peace. This scripture helped me come to terms with my own personal questions and grief.
I've seen it happen several times in the course of my pastoral ministry where a family member will die and the "wheels" seem to come off the family. The family will fall into immorality, alcohol, substance abuse and estrangement, rejecting the very values by which the family apparently lived. It has often been my question to God, "If that person wouldn't have died, his family would still be functional. Why did you let him die?" In many cases, family unity on family values is only apparent. It wouldn't have made any difference if the family member lived or died, eventually the family would have come apart. The death of the righteous one spares him from the heart ache and sorrows of the evil days ahead. It might be that the grave is God's protection from a terrible future.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Monday, February 14, 2011
A ROMANTIC THOUGHT FROM THE BIBLE
My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms in the vineyards of Engedi (Song of Solomon 1:14).
I thought that short verse might inspire some one to use the remaining hours of Valentine's Day in a romantic fashion. So get to it, the time is short!!!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
AN ADDENDUM: Seriously, there is nothing more romantic than a husband and wife working together to achieve the same goal and purpose. The reason so many marriages fail is that the couple has differing expectations that are often unspoken, and no unifying purpose as to what they want to accomplish in marriage. Real romance is not feeling in love, but is knowing why you are together and appreciating each other for it. Feeling in love is not enough.
I've been to the Engedi--it is an oasis in the desert. That may be a clue as to the meaning of the verse.
I thought that short verse might inspire some one to use the remaining hours of Valentine's Day in a romantic fashion. So get to it, the time is short!!!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
AN ADDENDUM: Seriously, there is nothing more romantic than a husband and wife working together to achieve the same goal and purpose. The reason so many marriages fail is that the couple has differing expectations that are often unspoken, and no unifying purpose as to what they want to accomplish in marriage. Real romance is not feeling in love, but is knowing why you are together and appreciating each other for it. Feeling in love is not enough.
I've been to the Engedi--it is an oasis in the desert. That may be a clue as to the meaning of the verse.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
YOUR PERSONAL APOCALYPTIC MOMENT
It is appointed for men to die once, and after that comes judgement (Hebrews 9:27).
If you are a prophecy enthusiast you are probably looking for signs of the coming apocalypse. Personally, I believe there are some general signs, but no specific signs indicating the decade, year, month, day or hour. That is why the apocalypse is spoken of by Jesus and the Apostles as coming as a "thief in the night." There are no prophecies yet to be fulfilled, the Lord could return at any moment. Though the Lord Jesus' return could be today or in a hundred years, we forget that our personal apocalypse could be at any moment as well; death could come calling today!
Russell Boatman, in his book What the Bible Says About the End Times, tells a story about a salesman's personal apocalypse. While sleeping a salesman dreamed that he had an encounter with death. The dream was so real that he thought it to be a Divine warning to change his ways. He could not bear the thought of dying so he thought he might outwit death. Instead of changing his ways he thought he would change his work routine. In his dream he had seen the time and place of his death, and so he thought, "If I get another salesman to take this route and I take his there should be no problem." It was not a problem to trade routes with another salesman because more money could be made on his route. As the day ended on the different sales route he decided to quit a little early to avoid the traffic rush and the risk that went with it--he didn't want to push his luck. When he parked his car in the hotel parking garage and stepped out the car door he felt a rush of cold air, just as he had felt in his dream just before an out-of-control car hit him and killed him. Just before the out-of-control vehicle rammed into him he found himself looking into the surprised face of death. "What are you doing here?" Death asked, "I had scheduled an appointment with you in Boston later this afternoon, and was wondering how I was going to keep it."
The whole story was a dream, but it was a dream with an important point--we cannot escape death! No matter how one connives, how good of a diet one has or how much exercise one does, unless the Lord comes first, Death will have his due and you will have your personal apocalyptic moment. Is Jesus Christ your Savior?
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
If you are a prophecy enthusiast you are probably looking for signs of the coming apocalypse. Personally, I believe there are some general signs, but no specific signs indicating the decade, year, month, day or hour. That is why the apocalypse is spoken of by Jesus and the Apostles as coming as a "thief in the night." There are no prophecies yet to be fulfilled, the Lord could return at any moment. Though the Lord Jesus' return could be today or in a hundred years, we forget that our personal apocalypse could be at any moment as well; death could come calling today!
Russell Boatman, in his book What the Bible Says About the End Times, tells a story about a salesman's personal apocalypse. While sleeping a salesman dreamed that he had an encounter with death. The dream was so real that he thought it to be a Divine warning to change his ways. He could not bear the thought of dying so he thought he might outwit death. Instead of changing his ways he thought he would change his work routine. In his dream he had seen the time and place of his death, and so he thought, "If I get another salesman to take this route and I take his there should be no problem." It was not a problem to trade routes with another salesman because more money could be made on his route. As the day ended on the different sales route he decided to quit a little early to avoid the traffic rush and the risk that went with it--he didn't want to push his luck. When he parked his car in the hotel parking garage and stepped out the car door he felt a rush of cold air, just as he had felt in his dream just before an out-of-control car hit him and killed him. Just before the out-of-control vehicle rammed into him he found himself looking into the surprised face of death. "What are you doing here?" Death asked, "I had scheduled an appointment with you in Boston later this afternoon, and was wondering how I was going to keep it."
The whole story was a dream, but it was a dream with an important point--we cannot escape death! No matter how one connives, how good of a diet one has or how much exercise one does, unless the Lord comes first, Death will have his due and you will have your personal apocalyptic moment. Is Jesus Christ your Savior?
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
DEFINING MENTAL ILLNESS
Then the people went out to see what had happened, and they came to Jesus, and found the man from whom the demons had gone, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind . . . (Luke 8:35).
In my copy of the American Psychological Association's DSM-IV there is no classification of a mental illness due to demon possession, but that is exactly what afflicted the Gerasene demoniac. He did suffer from mental illness because he was not in his right mind. Jesus healed him by casting out the legion of demons that inhabited this man. This case presented by Dr. Luke is not intended to suggest that every case of mental illness has a demonic cause, but one cannot escape reading the gospels and come to the understanding that whatever the cause of any illness, Jesus has power over it.
NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, defines mental illness this way: Mental illnesses are medical conditions that disrupt a person's thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others and daily functioning. Just as diabetes is a disorder of the pancreas, mental illnesses are medical conditions that often result in a diminished capacity for coping with the ordinary demands of life. True mental illness is a result of a bodily dysfunction, and some of those bodily dysfunctions we bring upon ourselves because of the mistaken and sinful choices that we make. For some mental illnesses we bear personal responsibility--addictions come most readily to mind in this regard.
Dr. David Bean, M.D. is a professor of psychiatry in the Sanford School of Medicine at the University of South Dakota. Dr. Bean presented some interesting statistics to our class on Ministering to the Mentally Ill at Sioux Falls Seminary: 1. 45 million Americans, age 12 or older, will experience mental illness over a year's time. 2. Only 38 % of them will receive mental health services. 3. The uunemployed have an elevated risk with 28% of them suffering with mental illness as compared to 17% of the employed. 4. In 2009, 11 million adults experienced mental illness serious enough to interfere with major life activities. 5. 8.4 million adults thought seriously about committing suicide, thinking of plans for it. 6. 26% of those with serious mental illnesses are also substance abusers.
These statistics help me make two points: 1. People can move in and out of mental illness like one catches a cold and gets over it. My mother tells a story about my grandmother. Grandma was having hallucinations of ants crawling up and down her arms. Mom took her to see Dr. Koser, our family doctor, and he said, "She's having a psychosis (this took place back in the 1950's) but she will get over it," and she did, without medication. That doesn't mean that every mentally ill person will get better, however. 2. YOU HAVE IN YOUR CHURCH SOMEONE WHO IS DEALING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS. Do you pray for them? Do you watch for them? Do you make your church a welcoming and safe place for them? Do you understand that just having a healthy relationship with them is one of the best treatments there is? Do you understand that they need to feel loved and respected? Oh, I think these are things we all need aren't they?!?
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
In my copy of the American Psychological Association's DSM-IV there is no classification of a mental illness due to demon possession, but that is exactly what afflicted the Gerasene demoniac. He did suffer from mental illness because he was not in his right mind. Jesus healed him by casting out the legion of demons that inhabited this man. This case presented by Dr. Luke is not intended to suggest that every case of mental illness has a demonic cause, but one cannot escape reading the gospels and come to the understanding that whatever the cause of any illness, Jesus has power over it.
NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, defines mental illness this way: Mental illnesses are medical conditions that disrupt a person's thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others and daily functioning. Just as diabetes is a disorder of the pancreas, mental illnesses are medical conditions that often result in a diminished capacity for coping with the ordinary demands of life. True mental illness is a result of a bodily dysfunction, and some of those bodily dysfunctions we bring upon ourselves because of the mistaken and sinful choices that we make. For some mental illnesses we bear personal responsibility--addictions come most readily to mind in this regard.
Dr. David Bean, M.D. is a professor of psychiatry in the Sanford School of Medicine at the University of South Dakota. Dr. Bean presented some interesting statistics to our class on Ministering to the Mentally Ill at Sioux Falls Seminary: 1. 45 million Americans, age 12 or older, will experience mental illness over a year's time. 2. Only 38 % of them will receive mental health services. 3. The uunemployed have an elevated risk with 28% of them suffering with mental illness as compared to 17% of the employed. 4. In 2009, 11 million adults experienced mental illness serious enough to interfere with major life activities. 5. 8.4 million adults thought seriously about committing suicide, thinking of plans for it. 6. 26% of those with serious mental illnesses are also substance abusers.
These statistics help me make two points: 1. People can move in and out of mental illness like one catches a cold and gets over it. My mother tells a story about my grandmother. Grandma was having hallucinations of ants crawling up and down her arms. Mom took her to see Dr. Koser, our family doctor, and he said, "She's having a psychosis (this took place back in the 1950's) but she will get over it," and she did, without medication. That doesn't mean that every mentally ill person will get better, however. 2. YOU HAVE IN YOUR CHURCH SOMEONE WHO IS DEALING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS. Do you pray for them? Do you watch for them? Do you make your church a welcoming and safe place for them? Do you understand that just having a healthy relationship with them is one of the best treatments there is? Do you understand that they need to feel loved and respected? Oh, I think these are things we all need aren't they?!?
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Monday, January 31, 2011
THE PROBLEM WITH ALCOHOL
For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love be servants of one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Galatians 5:13).
Christians are a free people, so free that we are subject to no one, but we are servants so we are subject to every one. Most of that first sentence is attributed to a statement that Martin Luther is alleged to have said. In any case, I believe it to be true. The law of the Spirit is love, the kind of love that seeks the best for everyone, just as we seek it for ourselves. In is in a spirit of love that I write, and in a spirit of love that each one should consider everything they do.
I was motivated to write this because I know that there is a pretty high percentage of Christians who drink and I wonder if they consider what they do in a spirit of love. It was a letter in a recent "Dear Abby" column that moved me to interrupt my series on mental illness to write this. Here is what the letter said: . . . "I am the president of a construction company, and it was standard practice for us to give alcohol at Christmas to a number of our customers. Then one day, I received a call from a tearful woman who asked if we had given alcohol to her husband. When I answered yes, she said that in the future, she would appreciate it if we wouldn't do that anymore. Her husband, an alcoholic, had consumed the entire bottle, gone home and beaten her up. We discontinued the practice immediately. I would not advise people to gift alcohol unless they know the recipient very well and know it will not cause harm to him or her, or those around them. --SAFER IN TENNESSEE."
How can one ever know that alcohol will not cause harm? Here are a few facts gleaned from a brief Internet search. For the year 2005, alcohol dependence cost the U.S. economy $220 billion. Half of U.S. adults have a relative who is presently or was an alcoholic. There are 14,000,000 alcoholics in the U.S.. More than half a million alcoholics are age 9 to 12. Four in ten of those who begin drinking before age 15 become alcoholics. Thirty seven percent of all traffic fatalities are alcohol related. The last one is really interesting: married drinkers have a 9% chance of becoming alcoholics, living-together drinkers have a 30% chance of becoming alcoholics.
In terms of marriage and family, I'm sure I could have come up with more alcohol related statistics with a more detailed search, but I think there is enough here to make one think about how alcohol use effects those whom we love. People do not drink alcohol because it tastes good, they drink it because it makes them feel good; it is a self medication. Alcohol is a depressant to the central nervous system so it deadens the pain of depression and anxiety. Every person who drinks, drinks for this reason--yes, even social drinkers.
Does this mean that I think every one who drinks alcohol is going to hell? No, but I do believe that if we would fulfill the law of love we must carefully weigh the consequences of its use. God gave the Rechabites (Jeremiah 35:14ff)* a special blessing because they did not use it; evidently, God appreciated their abstinence.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
*Wikipedia has an interesting entry about them.
Christians are a free people, so free that we are subject to no one, but we are servants so we are subject to every one. Most of that first sentence is attributed to a statement that Martin Luther is alleged to have said. In any case, I believe it to be true. The law of the Spirit is love, the kind of love that seeks the best for everyone, just as we seek it for ourselves. In is in a spirit of love that I write, and in a spirit of love that each one should consider everything they do.
I was motivated to write this because I know that there is a pretty high percentage of Christians who drink and I wonder if they consider what they do in a spirit of love. It was a letter in a recent "Dear Abby" column that moved me to interrupt my series on mental illness to write this. Here is what the letter said: . . . "I am the president of a construction company, and it was standard practice for us to give alcohol at Christmas to a number of our customers. Then one day, I received a call from a tearful woman who asked if we had given alcohol to her husband. When I answered yes, she said that in the future, she would appreciate it if we wouldn't do that anymore. Her husband, an alcoholic, had consumed the entire bottle, gone home and beaten her up. We discontinued the practice immediately. I would not advise people to gift alcohol unless they know the recipient very well and know it will not cause harm to him or her, or those around them. --SAFER IN TENNESSEE."
How can one ever know that alcohol will not cause harm? Here are a few facts gleaned from a brief Internet search. For the year 2005, alcohol dependence cost the U.S. economy $220 billion. Half of U.S. adults have a relative who is presently or was an alcoholic. There are 14,000,000 alcoholics in the U.S.. More than half a million alcoholics are age 9 to 12. Four in ten of those who begin drinking before age 15 become alcoholics. Thirty seven percent of all traffic fatalities are alcohol related. The last one is really interesting: married drinkers have a 9% chance of becoming alcoholics, living-together drinkers have a 30% chance of becoming alcoholics.
In terms of marriage and family, I'm sure I could have come up with more alcohol related statistics with a more detailed search, but I think there is enough here to make one think about how alcohol use effects those whom we love. People do not drink alcohol because it tastes good, they drink it because it makes them feel good; it is a self medication. Alcohol is a depressant to the central nervous system so it deadens the pain of depression and anxiety. Every person who drinks, drinks for this reason--yes, even social drinkers.
Does this mean that I think every one who drinks alcohol is going to hell? No, but I do believe that if we would fulfill the law of love we must carefully weigh the consequences of its use. God gave the Rechabites (Jeremiah 35:14ff)* a special blessing because they did not use it; evidently, God appreciated their abstinence.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
*Wikipedia has an interesting entry about them.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
MY SHORT THEOLOGY OF MENTAL ILLNESS
May the God of peace himself sanctify you wholly; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (I Thessalonians 5:23).
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27).
then the Lord formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being (soul) (Genesis 2:7 RSV).
If scientists are given only the raw chemistry of life, they cannot create life in a test tube. For scientists to "create" life there has to be material included that has life force in it, and that comes from God. Anything living, plant or animal, has life force in it and only God can provide that. But, of all living things, it is only said of human beings that they are created in the image of God; God has breathed spirit into every human being that is like himself.
Scientists have tirelessly researched the genome of the human body and have a pretty good understanding of the genetics that make it "tick." While there is a lot of genetic variability among human beings so that no two of us are exactly alike, we are more alike than we are different so that basic genetic principals apply to us all. When the God-created-in-his-own-image human spirit enters the body, the unification of body and spirit makes a soul. The human spirit impacts the body and the body impacts the spirit in such a way that both spirit and body will never be the same again--even after the body dies, the impact of the body on the spirit will always remain. The spirit of a dead person will remain a soul. Even though in our residence in Heaven we will have perfect bodies, living in the earthly body will have had a role in shaping our character. Through the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives and in our environment we are shaped little by little into the likeness of our Lord Jesus Christ (II Corinthians 3:18). Think of the sweet character of a downs syndrome person or one who has battled schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, or any other physical problem, God has worked in their lives, because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, shaping their character into the likeness of Christ.
In its self, the flesh is not evil. The flesh serves as a house for the human spirit (II Corinthians 5:1-5). The problem with the flesh is that it is very demanding so that it tends to want to dominate our lives! The flesh has needs; it tires easily, needs to be fed, it ages. Not only that, it has its desires too, so the flesh is very demanding, wanting its needs and desires met NOW! One very important principal that every child of God has to understand is that this body that we live in is to be our servant, not our master. We make our decisions by faith in God, not by the demands of the flesh. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace, says Romans 8:6. It is sin to allow the flesh to be the primary dynamic of decision making.
So what does this have to do with mental illness? There are times when our brains and glands fail. The body does not respond to the directives of the will of the spirit. Is the spirit accountable for something it can do nothing about? Only to the degree that there can be some control. As I wrote in Mental Illness and Personal Responsibility, there are those who are mentally ill who take personal responsibility for their behavior and perform very well. To have no expectations of responsibility for the mentally ill diminishes their person hood, and diminishes the possibility that they can ever function responsibly.
Mental illness is not a picnic for anyone--for the patient, his family and others to whom he is connected. Mental illness is a result of the body not working properly. Because the brain is so closely connected to the will, the will being the product of the human spirit's activity*, there is a stigma of the demonic or activity of the evil one attached to it. Also, because it is beyond our control, and not understood, it is stigmatized and shunned. The person afflicted with mental illness is still a person created in the image of God whom God loves. God alone can accurately judge the degree of responsibility of each mentally ill person, but it would be wrong for those who are treating the mentally ill not to have some expectations of responsible behavior because the ill will not progress without them!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
* A neurosurgeon can strategically place electrodes on a patients brain and move the patients arms, but the patients will is absent--something is being done to the patient, not something done by him.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27).
then the Lord formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being (soul) (Genesis 2:7 RSV).
If scientists are given only the raw chemistry of life, they cannot create life in a test tube. For scientists to "create" life there has to be material included that has life force in it, and that comes from God. Anything living, plant or animal, has life force in it and only God can provide that. But, of all living things, it is only said of human beings that they are created in the image of God; God has breathed spirit into every human being that is like himself.
Scientists have tirelessly researched the genome of the human body and have a pretty good understanding of the genetics that make it "tick." While there is a lot of genetic variability among human beings so that no two of us are exactly alike, we are more alike than we are different so that basic genetic principals apply to us all. When the God-created-in-his-own-image human spirit enters the body, the unification of body and spirit makes a soul. The human spirit impacts the body and the body impacts the spirit in such a way that both spirit and body will never be the same again--even after the body dies, the impact of the body on the spirit will always remain. The spirit of a dead person will remain a soul. Even though in our residence in Heaven we will have perfect bodies, living in the earthly body will have had a role in shaping our character. Through the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives and in our environment we are shaped little by little into the likeness of our Lord Jesus Christ (II Corinthians 3:18). Think of the sweet character of a downs syndrome person or one who has battled schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, or any other physical problem, God has worked in their lives, because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, shaping their character into the likeness of Christ.
In its self, the flesh is not evil. The flesh serves as a house for the human spirit (II Corinthians 5:1-5). The problem with the flesh is that it is very demanding so that it tends to want to dominate our lives! The flesh has needs; it tires easily, needs to be fed, it ages. Not only that, it has its desires too, so the flesh is very demanding, wanting its needs and desires met NOW! One very important principal that every child of God has to understand is that this body that we live in is to be our servant, not our master. We make our decisions by faith in God, not by the demands of the flesh. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace, says Romans 8:6. It is sin to allow the flesh to be the primary dynamic of decision making.
So what does this have to do with mental illness? There are times when our brains and glands fail. The body does not respond to the directives of the will of the spirit. Is the spirit accountable for something it can do nothing about? Only to the degree that there can be some control. As I wrote in Mental Illness and Personal Responsibility, there are those who are mentally ill who take personal responsibility for their behavior and perform very well. To have no expectations of responsibility for the mentally ill diminishes their person hood, and diminishes the possibility that they can ever function responsibly.
Mental illness is not a picnic for anyone--for the patient, his family and others to whom he is connected. Mental illness is a result of the body not working properly. Because the brain is so closely connected to the will, the will being the product of the human spirit's activity*, there is a stigma of the demonic or activity of the evil one attached to it. Also, because it is beyond our control, and not understood, it is stigmatized and shunned. The person afflicted with mental illness is still a person created in the image of God whom God loves. God alone can accurately judge the degree of responsibility of each mentally ill person, but it would be wrong for those who are treating the mentally ill not to have some expectations of responsible behavior because the ill will not progress without them!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
* A neurosurgeon can strategically place electrodes on a patients brain and move the patients arms, but the patients will is absent--something is being done to the patient, not something done by him.
Friday, January 21, 2011
MENTAL ILLNESS AND PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
And on the morrow an evil spirit from God rushed upon Saul, and he raved within his house, while David was playing the lyre, as he did day by day. Saul had his spear in his hand; and Saul cast the spear, for he thought, "I will pin David to the wall." But David evaded him twice (I Samuel 18:10-11 RSV).
Note: 1. The "evil spirit from God" is an example of a Hebrew verticalism. Since God is all powerful, he could have prevented the "evil spirit" from dynamically influencing Saul, but he chose not to and thus God gets credit for the evil spirit. 2. Was it an evil spirit that assailed Saul or was this just a matter of religious language being used to diagnose king Saul's mental problem? My thinking is to take the Bible at its word, but in either case, personal responsibility is an important factor.
Often we think that those who suffer from illnesses are innocent victims, being unable to bear any responsibility while they are sick. But, anyone who is sick has to bear some responsibility for getting well. It might be nothing more than being quiet so that the body's natural immune system has a chance to defeat the infection. It might be just to follow doctors orders and take the medication as directed. In any case, there is an appropriate level of personal responsibility to which a person can be held accountable. When I was the director of a juvenile residential treatment facility, some of the women workers would insist that there were times when they couldn't help it if they were irritable. I told them that, regardless of how they were feeling, I expected them to act like professionals while they were on duty. It diminishes person hood to not hold others accountable for their performance--even one's self.
I've said all this to lead into a quote by a member of a panel that presented to my mental health ministry class. This lady was afflicted with a true mental illness, bipolar disorder. She was functioning at a very high level, though a psychologist once told her that she wouldn't be able to function at more than a minimal level. She was a woman of achievement, running her own business and being president of a service organization. She was asked, "How do you take care of yourself so that you can function so well?" She responded very emphatically, "Personal responsibility for how I live my life, for my goals and for what I am working on! You have to have them! When I take personal responsibility I find that I need to take less medication." This woman did not see herself as a victim. She understood that she had a disease, but she was not going to allow herself to be defined by it.
I will never forget what she said and I hope you don't either!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Note: 1. The "evil spirit from God" is an example of a Hebrew verticalism. Since God is all powerful, he could have prevented the "evil spirit" from dynamically influencing Saul, but he chose not to and thus God gets credit for the evil spirit. 2. Was it an evil spirit that assailed Saul or was this just a matter of religious language being used to diagnose king Saul's mental problem? My thinking is to take the Bible at its word, but in either case, personal responsibility is an important factor.
Often we think that those who suffer from illnesses are innocent victims, being unable to bear any responsibility while they are sick. But, anyone who is sick has to bear some responsibility for getting well. It might be nothing more than being quiet so that the body's natural immune system has a chance to defeat the infection. It might be just to follow doctors orders and take the medication as directed. In any case, there is an appropriate level of personal responsibility to which a person can be held accountable. When I was the director of a juvenile residential treatment facility, some of the women workers would insist that there were times when they couldn't help it if they were irritable. I told them that, regardless of how they were feeling, I expected them to act like professionals while they were on duty. It diminishes person hood to not hold others accountable for their performance--even one's self.
I've said all this to lead into a quote by a member of a panel that presented to my mental health ministry class. This lady was afflicted with a true mental illness, bipolar disorder. She was functioning at a very high level, though a psychologist once told her that she wouldn't be able to function at more than a minimal level. She was a woman of achievement, running her own business and being president of a service organization. She was asked, "How do you take care of yourself so that you can function so well?" She responded very emphatically, "Personal responsibility for how I live my life, for my goals and for what I am working on! You have to have them! When I take personal responsibility I find that I need to take less medication." This woman did not see herself as a victim. She understood that she had a disease, but she was not going to allow herself to be defined by it.
I will never forget what she said and I hope you don't either!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Saturday, January 15, 2011
THE CHURCH'S MINISTRY TO THE MENTALLY ILL
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:37-39).
Every winter I try to do something to continue my education. Last year I went to fire school to learn how to do prairie burns, next year, the Lord willing, I will either re tour the Holy Land or do the "seven churches in Asia" tour. This year I did a 220 mile round trip commute each day for five days to Sioux Falls Seminary to take a class on the Church's ministry to the mentally ill. I think this is an important subject because a lot of us are not comfortable in dealing with mental illness, yet 25% of us will deal with it in a years time. Some of us will move in and out of it like one deals with the flu, while others mental illness will be life-long. It is important for those who are dealing with mental illness to understand that God doesn't love them less than anyone else!
One of the things it means to live in a fallen world is that human beings have to deal with illness and body parts that get broken and do not work right. The brain is one of those body parts. The brain is one of the organs of the body, a very complex one, but an organ, nevertheless. Schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are a couple of examples of true mental illness that result from dysfunctional brains. It could be said that we all suffer from mental illness, and quite probably, we do, from time to time. For the Schizophrenic and those bipolar, though they have better days than others, they will always have to deal with their illness. Should they be loved less? No! They certainly are not valued less by God; the population of Heaven will reveal that!
The Church on earth, to be true to the ministry of Christ, has to be a source of hope to the mentally ill!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Every winter I try to do something to continue my education. Last year I went to fire school to learn how to do prairie burns, next year, the Lord willing, I will either re tour the Holy Land or do the "seven churches in Asia" tour. This year I did a 220 mile round trip commute each day for five days to Sioux Falls Seminary to take a class on the Church's ministry to the mentally ill. I think this is an important subject because a lot of us are not comfortable in dealing with mental illness, yet 25% of us will deal with it in a years time. Some of us will move in and out of it like one deals with the flu, while others mental illness will be life-long. It is important for those who are dealing with mental illness to understand that God doesn't love them less than anyone else!
One of the things it means to live in a fallen world is that human beings have to deal with illness and body parts that get broken and do not work right. The brain is one of those body parts. The brain is one of the organs of the body, a very complex one, but an organ, nevertheless. Schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are a couple of examples of true mental illness that result from dysfunctional brains. It could be said that we all suffer from mental illness, and quite probably, we do, from time to time. For the Schizophrenic and those bipolar, though they have better days than others, they will always have to deal with their illness. Should they be loved less? No! They certainly are not valued less by God; the population of Heaven will reveal that!
The Church on earth, to be true to the ministry of Christ, has to be a source of hope to the mentally ill!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Sunday, January 09, 2011
A GENOGRAM CAN HELP
. . . for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments (Exodus 20:5-6).
An indispensable piece of my counseling treatment modality is to do a genogram with my client, or in the case of marriage counseling, a genogram with each spouse. Some counselors might spend as much as four hours completing genograms for a married couple. I try not to spend that much time, but the time spent doing a genogram is time well spent for it can make invisible family dynamics visible and be an aid in helping the client understand the dysfunctional dynamics with which he or she is dealing.
A genogram is similar to doing a family tree. It is a family map of at least three generations, outlining births, deaths, miscarriages, abortions, personality types, marriages, divorces, addictions, conflicts, over involements, military service, occupations, education, disease and medical problems, etc. In other words, every aspect of a person's family life for three generations, that can be recalled, is discussed and diagrammed so that inter generational patterns come to light. It might very well be seen that the problems the client is dealing with are problems that are being repeated from previous generations. It is not uncommon for a client to reap the consequences of a grand parent's behavior.
At some point the client, when he or she recognizes the dysfunctional emotional and behavioral patterns of the preceding 2 generations, has to commit to breaking the dysfunctional cycle in the family. It is never easy to do and, I think, can really only be done with God's help because the dysfunction has become second nature, and once one of the family members begins to move toward health, another family member will, almost always, try to sabotage the attempt to become healthy because if one member of the family becomes healthy, every member will have to change.
The best way to bless yourself and your children, and your children's children, is to humble yourself before the Lord Jesus Christ, seeking his pardon and forgiveness, and follow him in the obedience of faith.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
An indispensable piece of my counseling treatment modality is to do a genogram with my client, or in the case of marriage counseling, a genogram with each spouse. Some counselors might spend as much as four hours completing genograms for a married couple. I try not to spend that much time, but the time spent doing a genogram is time well spent for it can make invisible family dynamics visible and be an aid in helping the client understand the dysfunctional dynamics with which he or she is dealing.
A genogram is similar to doing a family tree. It is a family map of at least three generations, outlining births, deaths, miscarriages, abortions, personality types, marriages, divorces, addictions, conflicts, over involements, military service, occupations, education, disease and medical problems, etc. In other words, every aspect of a person's family life for three generations, that can be recalled, is discussed and diagrammed so that inter generational patterns come to light. It might very well be seen that the problems the client is dealing with are problems that are being repeated from previous generations. It is not uncommon for a client to reap the consequences of a grand parent's behavior.
At some point the client, when he or she recognizes the dysfunctional emotional and behavioral patterns of the preceding 2 generations, has to commit to breaking the dysfunctional cycle in the family. It is never easy to do and, I think, can really only be done with God's help because the dysfunction has become second nature, and once one of the family members begins to move toward health, another family member will, almost always, try to sabotage the attempt to become healthy because if one member of the family becomes healthy, every member will have to change.
The best way to bless yourself and your children, and your children's children, is to humble yourself before the Lord Jesus Christ, seeking his pardon and forgiveness, and follow him in the obedience of faith.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Saturday, January 01, 2011
THE GOOD CONFESSION
Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, "Who do men say that the Son of man is?" And they said to him, "Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah and others say Jeremiah or one of the prophets." He said to them, but who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter replied, "You are the Christ, the son of the living God." And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you Simon Bar-Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death shall not prevail against it" (Matthew 16:13-18).
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and whoever lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?" She said to him, "Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, he who is coming into the world" (John 11:25-27).
With this post I am merely sketching out a sermon, it will be a broad outline for my sermon. If you would like to add to it, dear reader, you are welcome.
Getting the identity of Jesus of Nazareth right is essential to the Christian faith. That is why the traditional prebaptismal confession, "I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the son of the living God" is necessary for a valid baptism. One isn't expected to have a mature faith at baptism, but one is expected to have a sufficient faith at baptism. The truth of this confession is the foundation stone of the faith of God's people.
Though each member of God's family must personally possess this faith, I am not sure that many could defend it, let alone treasure it. God has no grandchildren, only children. Under normal circumstances, no one will make it into God's kingdom on the faith of a relative or loved one. I know a family that is proud of the fact that a couple of its members are ministers of the gospel, but many of the family's members live like the devil; not like people who possess this faith.
One of the things that many orthodox Jews believe about Jesus is that he is a hoax, that he never really existed so their remarks about him and those who believe in Jesus are venomous. Some things never change. When Jesus asked his disciples, "Who do men say that I am?" they did not reply with all the venomous things that men had said about him, but only the more respectable things. Jesus did not intend to be a "respectable" person, he intended to be a polarizing person. Either his is who he says he is, or he is a liar, or something worse. Though the evidence for the historical existence of Jesus is abundant, there are those who fall into the same category as the Holocaust deniers and will never be convinced otherwise--they have a vested interest in keeping things the same.
The "Christ" is a rough Greek equivalent of the Hebrew term, "Messiah." They both mean, "anointed one." High Priests, Kings and Prophets were anointed in the Old Testament. Jesus is the king of God's kingdom (Ephesians 1:20-23). He is the perfect high priest (Hebrews 2:17-18). He is a prophet in the sense that he was one like Moses (Acts 3:22). Jesus was anointed with God's Spirit at his baptism in water (Matthew 3:13-17) similarly to a Christian's baptism.
Jesus is the Son of the living God. Hebrews 1:1-3 gives us a clue as to what that means: In many and various ways God spoke of old to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by a Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things through whom he also he created the world. He reflects the glory of God and bears the very stamp of his nature, upholding the universe by his word of power. There is only one living God--all other gods are dead or bring death! The living God is the only one who can bring life out of death!
We do not know what 2011 will bring, but whatever it brings, the confession is true. It will bring strength in time of hardship and sorrow. As Martha was grieving the loss of her brother, Lazarus, she confessed her faith in Christ. Whatever happens in 2011, always hold fast to the good confession.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and whoever lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?" She said to him, "Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, he who is coming into the world" (John 11:25-27).
With this post I am merely sketching out a sermon, it will be a broad outline for my sermon. If you would like to add to it, dear reader, you are welcome.
Getting the identity of Jesus of Nazareth right is essential to the Christian faith. That is why the traditional prebaptismal confession, "I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the son of the living God" is necessary for a valid baptism. One isn't expected to have a mature faith at baptism, but one is expected to have a sufficient faith at baptism. The truth of this confession is the foundation stone of the faith of God's people.
Though each member of God's family must personally possess this faith, I am not sure that many could defend it, let alone treasure it. God has no grandchildren, only children. Under normal circumstances, no one will make it into God's kingdom on the faith of a relative or loved one. I know a family that is proud of the fact that a couple of its members are ministers of the gospel, but many of the family's members live like the devil; not like people who possess this faith.
One of the things that many orthodox Jews believe about Jesus is that he is a hoax, that he never really existed so their remarks about him and those who believe in Jesus are venomous. Some things never change. When Jesus asked his disciples, "Who do men say that I am?" they did not reply with all the venomous things that men had said about him, but only the more respectable things. Jesus did not intend to be a "respectable" person, he intended to be a polarizing person. Either his is who he says he is, or he is a liar, or something worse. Though the evidence for the historical existence of Jesus is abundant, there are those who fall into the same category as the Holocaust deniers and will never be convinced otherwise--they have a vested interest in keeping things the same.
The "Christ" is a rough Greek equivalent of the Hebrew term, "Messiah." They both mean, "anointed one." High Priests, Kings and Prophets were anointed in the Old Testament. Jesus is the king of God's kingdom (Ephesians 1:20-23). He is the perfect high priest (Hebrews 2:17-18). He is a prophet in the sense that he was one like Moses (Acts 3:22). Jesus was anointed with God's Spirit at his baptism in water (Matthew 3:13-17) similarly to a Christian's baptism.
Jesus is the Son of the living God. Hebrews 1:1-3 gives us a clue as to what that means: In many and various ways God spoke of old to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by a Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things through whom he also he created the world. He reflects the glory of God and bears the very stamp of his nature, upholding the universe by his word of power. There is only one living God--all other gods are dead or bring death! The living God is the only one who can bring life out of death!
We do not know what 2011 will bring, but whatever it brings, the confession is true. It will bring strength in time of hardship and sorrow. As Martha was grieving the loss of her brother, Lazarus, she confessed her faith in Christ. Whatever happens in 2011, always hold fast to the good confession.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Friday, December 31, 2010
THE GOOD WIFE
A good wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels . . . Strength and dignity are her clothing . . . Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised ( Proverbs 31:10, 25 & 30).
It is New Year's Eve. The house is quiet and I have a little time to reflect. Our Iowa children were home for a few days for Christmas. The house was full and we just had a great time being together. I always feel a little empty inside after the celebration is over and everyone goes home--lonely might be a better word than empty to describe my feelings. Still, I have a great wife to keep me company, and I am grateful for that!
To prepare for our Christmas I pretty much cleaned the house, though Helen did a lot of cleaning, her job was stressing her out as she spent a lot of time at work. I scrubbed and waxed the floors by hand. I learned from a woman whom I respect as a cleaner that to clean floors right they must be done by hand. So, I donned a set of knee pads and went to work. Even with the knee pads, my knees hurt as I did the job, and my back hurt too. Though age has something to do with it, even if one is young, cleaning is a taxing job. Then I imagined myself as a young housewife with three children to care for, how hard it must be. Young wives and mothers have to be very disciplined in order to run an orderly household. I think many husbands simply do not appreciated what their women to. Men need to be involved in the cleaning too, so they can appreciate what their wives do.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
It is New Year's Eve. The house is quiet and I have a little time to reflect. Our Iowa children were home for a few days for Christmas. The house was full and we just had a great time being together. I always feel a little empty inside after the celebration is over and everyone goes home--lonely might be a better word than empty to describe my feelings. Still, I have a great wife to keep me company, and I am grateful for that!
To prepare for our Christmas I pretty much cleaned the house, though Helen did a lot of cleaning, her job was stressing her out as she spent a lot of time at work. I scrubbed and waxed the floors by hand. I learned from a woman whom I respect as a cleaner that to clean floors right they must be done by hand. So, I donned a set of knee pads and went to work. Even with the knee pads, my knees hurt as I did the job, and my back hurt too. Though age has something to do with it, even if one is young, cleaning is a taxing job. Then I imagined myself as a young housewife with three children to care for, how hard it must be. Young wives and mothers have to be very disciplined in order to run an orderly household. I think many husbands simply do not appreciated what their women to. Men need to be involved in the cleaning too, so they can appreciate what their wives do.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
JUDGMENT OR NOT?
. . . we make it our aim to pleas him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive good or evil, according to what he has done in the body (II Corinthians 5:9c-10).
This is one of the more sobering scriptures in the Bible because it was written to Christian people. From my theological perspective it does mean that Christians will stand before Christ in judgement, but because we have trusted in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on our behalf, repentance and baptism being our witness, then Jesus counts us as his and does not see our sins. My sins are as great as any man's so the only claim I have on salvation is on the basis of what Jesus has done for me.
One of the great enemies of the gospel is secularism because secularism suggests that when a person dies there is nothing of the person that lives on except for the children he/she has brought into the world and the family teachings and dynamics they live out. They, and those who commit suicide assume that death is the end of it all. Phenomenally, it might seem that they are right because after death the physical body is only so much dead meat, but God says otherwise. Imagine the surprise of those who die without Christ. First they go to sleep. Then, they go through the experience of a dying brain, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, seeing relatives and other loved ones embedded in the memories of their brains. Finally, being escorted by angels to their abode to await final judgment, though this temporary abode is a judgment in its self, being a foretaste of eternity.
The 5th chapter of II Corinthians is one of the great chapters of the Bible, I just finished reading it as a daily Bible reading. It begins with these words of hope with which it is good to close this Bullet: For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands eternal in the heavens. Here indeed we groan, and long to put on our heavenly dwelling, so that by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we sigh with anxiety; not that we be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee (II Corinthians 5:1-5).
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
This is one of the more sobering scriptures in the Bible because it was written to Christian people. From my theological perspective it does mean that Christians will stand before Christ in judgement, but because we have trusted in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on our behalf, repentance and baptism being our witness, then Jesus counts us as his and does not see our sins. My sins are as great as any man's so the only claim I have on salvation is on the basis of what Jesus has done for me.
One of the great enemies of the gospel is secularism because secularism suggests that when a person dies there is nothing of the person that lives on except for the children he/she has brought into the world and the family teachings and dynamics they live out. They, and those who commit suicide assume that death is the end of it all. Phenomenally, it might seem that they are right because after death the physical body is only so much dead meat, but God says otherwise. Imagine the surprise of those who die without Christ. First they go to sleep. Then, they go through the experience of a dying brain, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, seeing relatives and other loved ones embedded in the memories of their brains. Finally, being escorted by angels to their abode to await final judgment, though this temporary abode is a judgment in its self, being a foretaste of eternity.
The 5th chapter of II Corinthians is one of the great chapters of the Bible, I just finished reading it as a daily Bible reading. It begins with these words of hope with which it is good to close this Bullet: For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands eternal in the heavens. Here indeed we groan, and long to put on our heavenly dwelling, so that by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we sigh with anxiety; not that we be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee (II Corinthians 5:1-5).
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Friday, December 17, 2010
CHARACTER AND COMPETENCY, IS THERE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER?
A righteous man turns away from evil, but the way of the wicked leads them astray (Proverbs 12:26 RSV).
What precipitated this bullet was an interview in Christian Counseling Today of Dr. Tim Irwin. The interview simply set me to thinking about the role of character in counseling competency--or any competency for that matter. The subject of the interview was, "Character Trumps Competence." My thoughts are not intended to disagree with what was said in the interview, but merely add my perspective.
Rather than being two different categories, I believe that character is a necessary quality of competency so that one cannot be fully competent without it. A dictionary definition of competency is having the necessary qualities and skills. Is character a necessary quality for competency in any arena? Yes!
Skill development requires a degree of character. Some are so gifted that the development of skill requires little effort so the quality of their character is not revealed until significant stress sets in--it's a tragedy that this often happens when someone is desperately depending on him/her. Those not so gifted might cut corners or cheat in their skill development, and thus do their work with compromised competency.
In my Ethic and Legal Procedures class in seminary we talked of the ethics of sharing our faith in Christ with a client. There are times in counseling when that might be appropriate, but basically the truth is that the counselor's faith and value system cannot help but be revealed indirectly; it just is part of the counselors personality. Though the counselor might not speak of Christ directly, Christ is in the counselor, coming out in empathy, and how we respond and direct. However, a compromised character is revealed in the same way. A Counselor might very well be competent in the art and science of counseling, but if he/she is not a person of character, that will come out in their counseling too, thus short-term existential success can give way to long-term failure.
I hope my thoughts made sense. Though I applied this to counselors, I think it is applicable to all areas where competency and leadership is required--even on the football field. The beloved Iowa Hawkeyes found that out this season.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
What precipitated this bullet was an interview in Christian Counseling Today of Dr. Tim Irwin. The interview simply set me to thinking about the role of character in counseling competency--or any competency for that matter. The subject of the interview was, "Character Trumps Competence." My thoughts are not intended to disagree with what was said in the interview, but merely add my perspective.
Rather than being two different categories, I believe that character is a necessary quality of competency so that one cannot be fully competent without it. A dictionary definition of competency is having the necessary qualities and skills. Is character a necessary quality for competency in any arena? Yes!
Skill development requires a degree of character. Some are so gifted that the development of skill requires little effort so the quality of their character is not revealed until significant stress sets in--it's a tragedy that this often happens when someone is desperately depending on him/her. Those not so gifted might cut corners or cheat in their skill development, and thus do their work with compromised competency.
In my Ethic and Legal Procedures class in seminary we talked of the ethics of sharing our faith in Christ with a client. There are times in counseling when that might be appropriate, but basically the truth is that the counselor's faith and value system cannot help but be revealed indirectly; it just is part of the counselors personality. Though the counselor might not speak of Christ directly, Christ is in the counselor, coming out in empathy, and how we respond and direct. However, a compromised character is revealed in the same way. A Counselor might very well be competent in the art and science of counseling, but if he/she is not a person of character, that will come out in their counseling too, thus short-term existential success can give way to long-term failure.
I hope my thoughts made sense. Though I applied this to counselors, I think it is applicable to all areas where competency and leadership is required--even on the football field. The beloved Iowa Hawkeyes found that out this season.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Saturday, December 11, 2010
REFLECTIONS ON PARENTING 101 (part 2)
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him (Proverbs 13:24).
The scripture here is often used as a proof text for spanking. I do believe that spanking is an effective tool of discipline when used appropriately, but can be destructive when used inappropriately. The emphasis of the text is on discipline and spanking is only one of the tools in the effective parent's disciplinary tool box. Rosemond has more thoughts on effective discipline upon which I will reflect.
The parent must be at the center of the child's attention, not the other way around. As a general rule, the more attention you pay a child, the less attention the child will pay to you. It is much easier to discipline a child who is paying attention than one who is not. What has been said should not be interpreted to mean that the child is out of your awareness as a parent--but the child should believe that he/she is not the center of your attention.
Your child must have a meaningful role in your family. That means the child must have responsibilities known as chores. Rosemond says that by the time a child is 4 years old, he/she should be contributing significant time and effort on a daily basis to the maintenance of the household. This means keeping his/her own space clean and orderly as well as the common areas of the home--dusting and vacuuming. Helen and I did not do well at this, but our children have grown to be responsible adults in this regard. I think Helen would wish that her own husband would do much better himself about cleaning up around the house. Having said that, without chores, children are mere consumers who think they are entitled to having the parents serve them. Entitlements do not strengthen people or grow strong children.
"Keep television and other electronic media out of your child's life until your child as learned to read well and is self-entertaining. The research is clear that electronic media shortens attention span, interferes with the development of certain critical thinking skills and develops a dependency that leads to frequent complaints of boredom." This is one thing we did do well during our children's growing up years--we didn't have a television. We read to the kids and the kids did a lot of reading--may be that's why they do so well now.
"From day 1, keep clutter out of your child's life by keeping toys and other 'stuff' at a minimum. Paradoxically, children who entertain themselves well (low-maintenance children) tend to have few toys. These children also are more grateful for and take better care of what they have." Even among poor families, children tend to have too many toys--as did our children. Too many toys make for too much clutter. If children can learn to make their own entertainment, they will not require a lot of toys as adults. They will tend to become more givers than takers.
"Emphasize manners, not skills. Sixty years ago, most children came to overcrowded first grads not knowing their ABCs; yet, at the end of the year were reading at a higher level than today's kids, most of whom already are reading in kindergarten. That happened because parents of 60 years ago taught proper behavior, not skills; therefore, teachers taught skills, not proper behavior. Grow a polite child." My wife is a teacher--I know she, and all of her colleagues, would agree. They have to spend so much time teaching proper behavior that there is little quality time left for teaching skills. Academic scores in the US have declined in direct correlation to the disintegration of the home.
"Love your child enough to grow a happy child." This is the most important--it is in direct agreement with the cited scripture text.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
The scripture here is often used as a proof text for spanking. I do believe that spanking is an effective tool of discipline when used appropriately, but can be destructive when used inappropriately. The emphasis of the text is on discipline and spanking is only one of the tools in the effective parent's disciplinary tool box. Rosemond has more thoughts on effective discipline upon which I will reflect.
The parent must be at the center of the child's attention, not the other way around. As a general rule, the more attention you pay a child, the less attention the child will pay to you. It is much easier to discipline a child who is paying attention than one who is not. What has been said should not be interpreted to mean that the child is out of your awareness as a parent--but the child should believe that he/she is not the center of your attention.
Your child must have a meaningful role in your family. That means the child must have responsibilities known as chores. Rosemond says that by the time a child is 4 years old, he/she should be contributing significant time and effort on a daily basis to the maintenance of the household. This means keeping his/her own space clean and orderly as well as the common areas of the home--dusting and vacuuming. Helen and I did not do well at this, but our children have grown to be responsible adults in this regard. I think Helen would wish that her own husband would do much better himself about cleaning up around the house. Having said that, without chores, children are mere consumers who think they are entitled to having the parents serve them. Entitlements do not strengthen people or grow strong children.
"Keep television and other electronic media out of your child's life until your child as learned to read well and is self-entertaining. The research is clear that electronic media shortens attention span, interferes with the development of certain critical thinking skills and develops a dependency that leads to frequent complaints of boredom." This is one thing we did do well during our children's growing up years--we didn't have a television. We read to the kids and the kids did a lot of reading--may be that's why they do so well now.
"From day 1, keep clutter out of your child's life by keeping toys and other 'stuff' at a minimum. Paradoxically, children who entertain themselves well (low-maintenance children) tend to have few toys. These children also are more grateful for and take better care of what they have." Even among poor families, children tend to have too many toys--as did our children. Too many toys make for too much clutter. If children can learn to make their own entertainment, they will not require a lot of toys as adults. They will tend to become more givers than takers.
"Emphasize manners, not skills. Sixty years ago, most children came to overcrowded first grads not knowing their ABCs; yet, at the end of the year were reading at a higher level than today's kids, most of whom already are reading in kindergarten. That happened because parents of 60 years ago taught proper behavior, not skills; therefore, teachers taught skills, not proper behavior. Grow a polite child." My wife is a teacher--I know she, and all of her colleagues, would agree. They have to spend so much time teaching proper behavior that there is little quality time left for teaching skills. Academic scores in the US have declined in direct correlation to the disintegration of the home.
"Love your child enough to grow a happy child." This is the most important--it is in direct agreement with the cited scripture text.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Thursday, December 09, 2010
REFLECTIONS ON PARENTING 101
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).
In the area of child psychology, John Rosemond is a hero of mine. He does not worship at the alter of contemporary thought, but he does respect the tried and true wisdom the was reflected in the parenting of those who made our country great. Rosemond recently wrote a two-part series called, "Parenting 101." My reflections are in two parts as well.
If you are married with children, put your marriage first. Dr. James Dobson always said the same thing. Helen and I grew our family up on Dobson--he came into prominence just at the time we were growing our family. Though we believed this, we did not do well at it. Money was a big issue. Small-church ministers, it seems like, live on the edge of poverty so the needs of the children come first. Date nights with the spouse were hard to come by. In any case, single parent or married parents, the children have to know that they are not the center of your universe, rather, you are the center of theirs. Your children have a much greater feeling of security when they know that mom and dad are taking care of their marriage and other necessary business first. It must be remembered that workaholism and the romantic flings of a single parent are destructive.
By the time your children are three years old, you should build a boundary between yourself and them, one that limits their access to you. Children need to understand that they are not at your beck and call. I believe that it is impossible to spoil a child under two. If he/she cries they should be picked up, but that third year is critical, they need to begin understanding that you have a life beyond them. One shouldn't pick a child up every time he cries. Differentiation is necessary!
Say "No" more than you say "Yes." Rosemond says that the proportion of No's to Yes's should be about five to one. Helen and I weren't aware of the ratio of no's to yes's, but we tried to say "Yes" as often as we could because we had to say "No" so often. Children who will not take "No" for an answer have parents who do not say "No" often enough and with conviction!
"Put the horse of leadership in front of the cart of relationship." This was probably my greatest failing. During my years as a youth worker at a residential treatment facility I tried to build relationship with the residents first. It is impossible to build a meaningful and therapeutic relationship if the child does not have a clear understanding of who is in charge. If the leader is easily manipulated so that a relationship can continue, then the child becomes the leader. As a result, there is relationship sickness rather than health. The children must understand who makes the decisions and who is in charge.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
In the area of child psychology, John Rosemond is a hero of mine. He does not worship at the alter of contemporary thought, but he does respect the tried and true wisdom the was reflected in the parenting of those who made our country great. Rosemond recently wrote a two-part series called, "Parenting 101." My reflections are in two parts as well.
If you are married with children, put your marriage first. Dr. James Dobson always said the same thing. Helen and I grew our family up on Dobson--he came into prominence just at the time we were growing our family. Though we believed this, we did not do well at it. Money was a big issue. Small-church ministers, it seems like, live on the edge of poverty so the needs of the children come first. Date nights with the spouse were hard to come by. In any case, single parent or married parents, the children have to know that they are not the center of your universe, rather, you are the center of theirs. Your children have a much greater feeling of security when they know that mom and dad are taking care of their marriage and other necessary business first. It must be remembered that workaholism and the romantic flings of a single parent are destructive.
By the time your children are three years old, you should build a boundary between yourself and them, one that limits their access to you. Children need to understand that they are not at your beck and call. I believe that it is impossible to spoil a child under two. If he/she cries they should be picked up, but that third year is critical, they need to begin understanding that you have a life beyond them. One shouldn't pick a child up every time he cries. Differentiation is necessary!
Say "No" more than you say "Yes." Rosemond says that the proportion of No's to Yes's should be about five to one. Helen and I weren't aware of the ratio of no's to yes's, but we tried to say "Yes" as often as we could because we had to say "No" so often. Children who will not take "No" for an answer have parents who do not say "No" often enough and with conviction!
"Put the horse of leadership in front of the cart of relationship." This was probably my greatest failing. During my years as a youth worker at a residential treatment facility I tried to build relationship with the residents first. It is impossible to build a meaningful and therapeutic relationship if the child does not have a clear understanding of who is in charge. If the leader is easily manipulated so that a relationship can continue, then the child becomes the leader. As a result, there is relationship sickness rather than health. The children must understand who makes the decisions and who is in charge.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
VICTORY IN JESUS
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ . . . (II Corinthians 2:14).
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us (Romans 8:37).
When read in context, these words of Scripture do not mean that Christians will not face adversity, but they do mean that when we are facing adversity we can take courage and hope because of our relationship to Christ. In Christ we have already won! We are in his victory parade! Bring it on! The final celebration is yet to come--be there!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us (Romans 8:37).
When read in context, these words of Scripture do not mean that Christians will not face adversity, but they do mean that when we are facing adversity we can take courage and hope because of our relationship to Christ. In Christ we have already won! We are in his victory parade! Bring it on! The final celebration is yet to come--be there!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
DEALING WITH DIFFICULTY
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed (I Peter 1:3-7).
Presently, the lovely and gracious Helen and I are in Kansas celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday with her parents. During the time since we have arrived we have received word of two families who are dear to us who are presently facing crises. Helen's parents are elderly and because of the changing state of health care are dealing in the confusing world of bureaucracy. Helen and I are getting an education as we have spent the last 2 days helping with that.
I'm sharing all this, not because I have any profound insights, theological or otherwise, but just to remind you all that while we live in the flesh we will suffer--we will not get through this life without it! But, we have a reasonable hope because of the death, burial and resurrection of Christ. Our best days are yet ahead of us!
In Christ we are family so let us rally to the support of each other, being the Holy Spirit with skin on as we support each other in this life so that we can be together in the life to come!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Presently, the lovely and gracious Helen and I are in Kansas celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday with her parents. During the time since we have arrived we have received word of two families who are dear to us who are presently facing crises. Helen's parents are elderly and because of the changing state of health care are dealing in the confusing world of bureaucracy. Helen and I are getting an education as we have spent the last 2 days helping with that.
I'm sharing all this, not because I have any profound insights, theological or otherwise, but just to remind you all that while we live in the flesh we will suffer--we will not get through this life without it! But, we have a reasonable hope because of the death, burial and resurrection of Christ. Our best days are yet ahead of us!
In Christ we are family so let us rally to the support of each other, being the Holy Spirit with skin on as we support each other in this life so that we can be together in the life to come!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Friday, November 19, 2010
FOR YOUR COMFORT
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too (II Corinthians 1:3-5).
And I will pray the Father, and he will give you another Counselor (Comforter in KJV) to be with you for ever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor know him; you know him, for he dwells with you, and will be in you (John 14:16-17).
In my daily Bible reading I just started the book of second Corinthians today. I had underlined verses 3-5 of chapter one from previous readings so they drew my attention again. I stopped and thought of the times when it seemed as if I was all alone--that no one cared enough to even make an attempt to understand. There have been several times in my life when that was the case, BUT, this experience is not unique to me. Further reading in second Corinthians one Paul says that he and his companions were "unbearably crushed that we despaired of life itself" (vs 8).
God has sent the Holy Spirit to be the comforter of Christians, the one who walks along side of us. How does he bring us comfort? Sometimes it is just the feeling of reassurance of grace and peace in the middle of trials and tumult. Sometimes it is through the words of hope in the Scripture when all evidence seems to be to the contrary--hope truly is an audacious thing! Sometimes it is the arm of another believer around your shoulder, the Holy Spirit with skin on, one who isn't afraid to come into understanding distance and share his/her faith and life experience. As you receive comfort, share it with someone else.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
And I will pray the Father, and he will give you another Counselor (Comforter in KJV) to be with you for ever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor know him; you know him, for he dwells with you, and will be in you (John 14:16-17).
In my daily Bible reading I just started the book of second Corinthians today. I had underlined verses 3-5 of chapter one from previous readings so they drew my attention again. I stopped and thought of the times when it seemed as if I was all alone--that no one cared enough to even make an attempt to understand. There have been several times in my life when that was the case, BUT, this experience is not unique to me. Further reading in second Corinthians one Paul says that he and his companions were "unbearably crushed that we despaired of life itself" (vs 8).
God has sent the Holy Spirit to be the comforter of Christians, the one who walks along side of us. How does he bring us comfort? Sometimes it is just the feeling of reassurance of grace and peace in the middle of trials and tumult. Sometimes it is through the words of hope in the Scripture when all evidence seems to be to the contrary--hope truly is an audacious thing! Sometimes it is the arm of another believer around your shoulder, the Holy Spirit with skin on, one who isn't afraid to come into understanding distance and share his/her faith and life experience. As you receive comfort, share it with someone else.
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
WHAT DO YOU TREASURE?
For the love of money is the root of all evils; it is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced their hearts with many pangs (I Timothy 6:10).
Do not love the world or the things of the world (I John 2:15).
Set your minds on things above, not on things that are on the earth (Colossians 3:2).
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also (Matthew 6:21).
All quotations are from the Revised Standard Version.
My daughter posted her offering meditation on her blog, Sleepy Thoughts . . . It shows that the apple does not fall too far from the tree. Though I have expressed similar thoughts I would like to expand/expound on the subject.
Traditional interpretation of Matthew 6:19-21 has assumed that money is the treasure, and if one gives his money, the heart will follow it. As an intervention for those who love money, it is not a bad thing to tell them to give their money away and follow Jesus (Matthew 19:21); sometimes behavioral therapy on adults does work, changing them from the outside in rather than the inside out. But, even in 19:21 the emphasis is on following Jesus; notice what the rich young ruler could not do--be obedient to Jesus. His possessions were his treasure, not Jesus.
God doesn't need our money. God will not go out of business if we stop giving; He owns the cattle on a thousand hills; He owns the world and everything in it. Often our preaching conveys the idea that God needs our money; He doesn't!!! What God desires is our hearts! What one treasures is where his heart is. Ask any young man who is madly in love; he will gladly spend all his money on the love of his life.
Often the message of the church is: "We will go out of business if you do not give," or "If you would just give more we could do . . ." That message is a message of materialism, that the Church of Christ is more dependent on money that the power of the Spirit for its existence. Preachers have yet to learn the meaning of Zechariah 4:6, Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts. The church can be just as guilty about loving money and coveting it as any person. I have known several people who have quit a church because the church was all about trusting money rather than the Spirit of God.
If money is our treasure, then almost every time, money will be given with a begrudging heart, not a cheerful heart. A whole lot more money will be given when Jesus is our treasure because it will be given with a cheerful heart and not a begrudging one. The Lord loves a cheerful giver!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
Do not love the world or the things of the world (I John 2:15).
Set your minds on things above, not on things that are on the earth (Colossians 3:2).
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also (Matthew 6:21).
All quotations are from the Revised Standard Version.
My daughter posted her offering meditation on her blog, Sleepy Thoughts . . . It shows that the apple does not fall too far from the tree. Though I have expressed similar thoughts I would like to expand/expound on the subject.
Traditional interpretation of Matthew 6:19-21 has assumed that money is the treasure, and if one gives his money, the heart will follow it. As an intervention for those who love money, it is not a bad thing to tell them to give their money away and follow Jesus (Matthew 19:21); sometimes behavioral therapy on adults does work, changing them from the outside in rather than the inside out. But, even in 19:21 the emphasis is on following Jesus; notice what the rich young ruler could not do--be obedient to Jesus. His possessions were his treasure, not Jesus.
God doesn't need our money. God will not go out of business if we stop giving; He owns the cattle on a thousand hills; He owns the world and everything in it. Often our preaching conveys the idea that God needs our money; He doesn't!!! What God desires is our hearts! What one treasures is where his heart is. Ask any young man who is madly in love; he will gladly spend all his money on the love of his life.
Often the message of the church is: "We will go out of business if you do not give," or "If you would just give more we could do . . ." That message is a message of materialism, that the Church of Christ is more dependent on money that the power of the Spirit for its existence. Preachers have yet to learn the meaning of Zechariah 4:6, Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts. The church can be just as guilty about loving money and coveting it as any person. I have known several people who have quit a church because the church was all about trusting money rather than the Spirit of God.
If money is our treasure, then almost every time, money will be given with a begrudging heart, not a cheerful heart. A whole lot more money will be given when Jesus is our treasure because it will be given with a cheerful heart and not a begrudging one. The Lord loves a cheerful giver!
Our Father's Blessings,
Tom
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