THE NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE

"After more than sixty years I can still hear the eloquent prayers that filled the countryside when epidemics of diphtheria appeared. One tube of antitoxin will do more good than all of these" (Arthur Hertzler M.D.).

"Let not your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me" (Jesus Christ, Jn. 14:1).

I'm sorry it has taken so long to make another contribution. I caught a cold during the holiday, and it has taken this long to feel like writing. Helen and I went to visit her parents for Thanksgiving. Since we were already in Kansas, we made a quick trip (150 miles west) to Abbyville, where we visited loved ones from our first pastoral ministry of 31 years ago. Our travel to Abbyville took us through the area where Dr. Hertzler practiced medicine a hundred years ago. It reminded me again of his book, HORSE AND BUGGY DOCTOR, which is one of my cherished posessions. Dr. Hertzler's father was a Mennonite lay minister, but the doctor was skeptical about prayer, Christians and how they practiced Christianity, though he did believe in God.

According to family systems theory, if a person can maintain a non-anxious presence in the presence of anxious family, church members or co-workes for a sustained period of time, then that non-anxious presence will change the family, church or workplace. It is easier said than done because none of us are non-anxious, only God is, though some are more non-anxious than others. A non-anxious person knows who he/she is. Non-anxious people live consistently by their values and faith and do not allow themselves to be drawn into gossip, destructive criticism, defensivness and emotional reactivity ("you've got to do something now!").

God, being the only non-anxious presence there is, is not stampeded into action by our anxious prayers. One of the things that made Hertzler skeptical about prayer was that God did not answer in the way he thought He should. His childhood experiences with prayer and shallow Sunday school teaching had a profound effect on his adult life. Hertzler did finally adopt his father's understanding of prayer as the diligent pursuit of a worthy cause. In this way he said diphtheria antitoxin was an answer to prayer.

While in Kansas we were able to watch BRUCE ALMIGHTY on cable. Bruce was given Divine power to answer prayer. He answered all the lottery players prayers with a "yes." The forty thousand winners received almost no money. How confusing the world would be if God answered every prayer with a "yes," though there are some prayers that God will always answer "yes" to. Care to guess what they are?

God brings change through His non-anxious presence.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

SALVATION: MORE THAN WE BARGINED FOR?

"For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved" (John 3:17).

We might think of salvation more in terms of climate control and safety; after all Heaven is going to be a much more pleasant place to spend eternity than hell. From a Biblical perspective, salvation refers to bringing wholness to the ENTIRE lives of those who believe. It is through faith that we have a relationship with God; we can't have one without it. It is in this faith relationship that we allow God to make us whole. Sometimes it isn't pleasant, but God is aiming for more than eternal safety; He is aiming for eternal wholeness as He changes us little by little, "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (II Cor. 3:18).

We are saved. We are being saved. We shall be saved.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

RIDING REALITY 5

"...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for His good pleasure" (Philippeans 2:12b-13).

Riding Reality requires all of one's ability and skill. Ability is a gift. Some are physically gifted with beauty and athleticism. Some are gifted with brain-power, articism or emotional toughness. Whatever one's natural gift, God expects one to sharpen them with education, discipline and self discipline of training. It is in this way that skill is developed. If one is not will to work at learning, accepting discipline and be willing to discipline herself, there is little hope that one will accept the ride on Reality, adopting unrealistic behaviors will mark the course of their lives.

As a boy, I had been around horses for years, developing some skill, feeding, grooming, training and ridding. That is why I had some confidence that my ride Reality had a chance of success.

The last thing that I want to emphasize is that a successful ride on Reality requires that one put their hand in the glove of Faith. I didn't use a glove; that wasn't smart. It took a couple of weeks for that hand to heal--the power generated by Reality was so great.

Faith absorbs much of the power of Reality. God works with us, and in us, as we trust Him for the outcome. What a blessing it is to know that God is forging something meaningful out of our lives when we trust Him. He uses our skills and abilities to bless those around us and help those who follow to ride Reality too. It is faith that turns the ride of Reality into an adventure to be enjoyed rather than an ordeal to be endured. Reality, what a ride!!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

RIDING REALITY 4

No one ever really controls "Reality," though some seem to have a greater degree of control than others. It is this lack of control that creates the stress that bucks us off and puts us down. How do we get a measure of control?

Yesterday the people of the United States voted, exercising their God-given right. This is a means of gaining some control. How we voted is a message to God about the kind of control we want. Themorningafter, it appears that we voted for less personal control--not more. It is reassuring that God is in control and that the time-line for history is on schedule, "From one ancestor, He made all nations to inhabit the whole earth and the allotted times of their existance and the boundaries of the places where they would live" (Acts 17:26).

At the outset, I said that one thing needed to ride "Reality" was to pray hard! Books have been written about prayer; many of them filled with cliches, half-truths and easy answers. I realize that there are times when prayer seems like nothing more than talking to your self--that they go no higher than the ceiling. If you have ever felt that way you are in good company. Abraham, Job, David and Jesus had unanswered prayers. Tell God how you are feeling and what you are thinking from your heart. It is this kind of honest, intimate sharing that enables fellowship with the One who is in control.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

RIDING REALITY 3

"Reality" is good, but it is also difficult. It is not easy to live the life that we have been given. Faced with the task of riding "Reality," we all, at some time or another, choose behaviors that are unrealistic, to avoid the ride. Many of those behaviors are easy to see: We lie because the truth can be unpleasant; We cheat and steal because work is hard; We have affairs because really intimate relationships require risk, self-sacrifice and positive communication for a life-time.

Some of the behavior we use to avoid the "ride" are not as easy to spot: depressing, back-aching, addicting or stomach aching. While the illnesses are real, they become real as a means of a person subconsciously, creatively, trying to meet their needs by avoiding "Reality." It is a dysfunctional means, because the avoidance of "Reality" is not possible.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

RIDING REALITY 2

I apologize for taking so long to write a sequal to "Riding Reality." What does riding a bronco called "Reality" have to do with life?

I have often told my kids, grand kids and other kids that I work with, "Life is good and it is gonna get gooder." That is not an original statement with me; it is the product of some motivational speaker whose name I have long forgotten. Nevertheless, life is good, it is a gift and it gives us great oportunities to become ourselves and express ourselves and to leave our mark on this world. That is good. The gift of life allows us to enjoy the graces that are gifted to us each day, and that is good. Because of our faith in God who is gracious and good, we have a reasonable hope that life will get gooder and gooder! Our faith does not deny Reality, however, but it is a realistic means of coping with it.

The Reality is that we live in a fallen world, "In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; you are dust, and to dust you shall return" (Genesis 3:19). There are weeds, rot, sickness, pain, atrophy, death, etc.. The reality is that these are an inescapable part of life. Faced with the difficulties of riding Reality, many adopt behaviors that are unrealistic. I'll write about those tomorrow.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

RIDING REALITY

One of the reasons I write a blog is to "play" around with thoughts and ideas turning them into sermon illustrations, meditations and counseling stories. They do not always get "fleshed out" completely, but you get to see some of the raw material. Remember "LIFE IS A RODEO?" I told you a little about the time I rode a bare-back bronco in the rodeo. This is a continuation of that.

Everybody has to be a cowboy because we each have to ride "Reality," the bronco that cannot be broken. There are times when it seems to be a beautiful and gentle horse, but in a flash it can turn into a raging, kicking, twisting, turning, bucking beast that will put down the best of riders. I remember that first Frontier-Days rodeo, the cowboy that rode just ahead of me was a seasoned veteran rider. When the gate opened on the chute, the horse lunged out of the chute, bucked high in the air and twisted. That cowboy was down on the first buck. Naturally athletic, and humble, and having ridden many horses, I had been confident, but after seeing what that bronc did to the previous rider, I wondered how I would ride "Reality," the horse that I had drawn. For a moment I thought about backing out, but too-late, my name was called. I climbed over the top of the chute, gripping the rigging with my right hand, the left hand had to be in the air and I had to "spur" with my heels. The gate opened and Reality lunged out of the chute, bucking high and hard, hard enough to tear the skin out of the palm of my right hand. I spurred, holding my left-hand free. The buzzer sounded, the pick-up man yelled, "Tom, I'm here," but I could not see him because the horse was bucking so hard that my vision was just a blurr. So I just jumped off. My time on Reality was just about 8 seconds--in real reality, it is a life-time.

So what does this have to do with life? See you tomorrow.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

"Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward being . . ." (Psalms 51:6a).

Not everyone who comes to a counselor with a problem wants a solution. There is a payoff in having the problem and the counselee simply desires confirmation that the problem is unsolvable. A person like this is a victim and desires to retain their victim status. Many are the clients who come with a problem, and there is always a misfortune which prevents them from doing anything about it. "The car broke down so I couldn't make it to the job interview" kind of thing, or "I've sent out ten applications, but no one answers."

I have had a number of clients who seem to have a never ending run of bad luck which prevents them from accomplishment. They see themselves as victims of life's unlucky lottery. A person like this cannot be helped until they see the truth. The truth is that they do not want to accept responsibility nor do they want to take any risks. These kind of people see money as a solution to their problem, but one of the great truths of life is, MONEY WILL NOT SOLVE A NONMONEY PROBLEM!!!!

"therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart" (Psalms 51:6b). The real problem behind most of our external problems is spiritual. We do not trust God, we do not want to obey God, and we do not want to accept responsibility, we would rather be victims. Until a person is brought face to face with this, they cannot be helped.

There was one in the Bible who was an exception to this, Job. Now that would be a tough counseling job. But the Job's are rare. Almost all of our problems have their roots in a spiritual problem.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

I BELIEVE. . .

I'm going to the funeral today of an old friend. As I was doing my devotional reading this morning I read these words which allied forces found in an abandoned house in Germany following World War II; probably words of a holocaust victim. They were God's gift to me for the day and I wanted to share them with you. "I believe in the sun, even when it does not shine. I believe in love, even when it is not shown. I believe in God, even when He is silent."

Grace&Peace;
Tom

COUNTING THE COST

One of the truths of problem solving is, "there is no cost-free or painless way of dealing with the problem situation." Most of the time people expect the counselor to work find an easy-does-it cure, win-win solution, but that is an unrealistic expectation. The only pain-free cure is a miracle. I believe in miracles, but one of the characteristics of miracles is that they are rare. For the Christian, the Spirit will be along side and strengthen as problems are appropriately faced. The Spirit will help deal with the pain.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

CHOICES

"It is not your abilities, but your choices, that determine who you are." --professor Dumbledor to Harry Potter

Grace&Peace;
Tom

THE BAD AND THE GOOD HABITS OF RELATIONSHIPS

Everybody is into controlling the actions of someone else--we all do it! Evangelical Christians do it more than most, which is one of the reasons that the divorce rate for evangelical Christians is a tad higher than the general population. There are 8 deadly habits that can kill a relationship:
1. Criticizing,
2. Blaming,
3. Complaining,
4. Nagging,
5. Threatening,
6. Punishing,
7. Bribery,
8. Ignoring.

There are also 8 healthy habits that can bless any relationship:
1. Supporting,
2. Encouraging,
3. LISTENING,
4. Accepting,
5. Trusting,
6. Respecting,
7. Negotiating differences,
8. Praying for each other.

This is simple "common-sense" stuff, but apparently, common sense isn't that common. If these positive skills can be made into habits, any relationship will be blessed.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

RELAX

When you are sick, relax. A lot of stress inhibits the function of the immune system. When you are sick you are already under a lot of stress, do not add to it with a lot of anxious or negative thinking. That will only prolong your illness. One of the ways to disarm negative stressors is to emphasize the positive and good. This is my paraphrase of Psalm 1:1-3:

Happy is the one whose way is not determined by the influence of the world nor the lies of satan. He delight is in the Word of God. It is in the Word that he meditates constantly, relating it to his life day and night. One who does this will always be able to bear fruit, even in times of great distress because God is his nourishment and his comfort.

Remember: Satan is the great discourager; the Spirit of Christ the great encourager. Meditation is the best relaxation.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

SWEAT EQUITY

According to some recent research at Iowa State, exercising elderly mice boosts their immunity systems so that they are more like young mice. For people it seems to be true too. Many of the diseases that afflict us in old age are simply caused by weakening immune systems. Exercise enough to sweat every day, that will help keep you young.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

LIFE IS A RODEO

This week I received a call from Abbyville, Kansas, the location of my first pastoral ministry. The church there has built a new building; it is being dedicated this Sunday. I sent the congregation a note of blessing on their new building to be read at their dedication service. Writing the note started memories flowing in my humble little brain.

Abbyville was my first ministry. Preaching and scholarship are not strong points of mine, but the church was blessed and Helen and I were blessed by them.

It was in Abbyville that I had my first pastoral counseling sessions. I knew a little psychology, a little counseling method, a little Bible and a little theology so I walked in where angels fear to tread.

It was in Abbyville that I did my first rodeo performance. The first weekend of May, Abbyville hosts the Frontier Days Rodeo. It was in 1973 that I rode a bare-back bronc in the rodeo before thousands of spectators. The horse was a good bucker, but I did the time, and I did score well--I should have made a career of it.

From all this I made the observation that preaching, counseling and bronc riding have some similarities. You have to pray hard, get a firm grip, use all your ability and skill, and trust God for the out-come. I could write a chapter about each of those similarities, but I want to quickly mention that the "firm grip" is having a firm grip on "Reality," the bronco we all ride. Having a firm grip in the gloved-hand of faith. When I rode that bronco I did it without a glove. It tore the skin out of the palm of my hand, so great was the power generated by that horse. Faith is a great protector(Ephesians 6:16). *

Grace&Peace;
Tom

*I'm watching my granddaughter so I haven't time to finish it as it should be. If you have any thoughts, let me know.

BEAUTY TIPS WRAP UP 2

"And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14).

I meant to include this in the first beauty wrap up and simply forgot it. But it is too important just to let it go. The writer of Esther describes her as being "beautiful and lovely" (2:7). Esther had a natural gift of physical beauty. During a time of crisis the future of a people rested on her beauty and grace. Beauty is not an unimportant gift. It is good to cultivate it and enhance it with charisma because beauty without grace doesn't get one very far either; check out queen Vashti in that same book of Esther.

The blessing of natural beauty is a gift. It is necessary for those who possess it to consider how God wants them to use it; it may be for such a time as this!

Grace&Peace;
Tom

BEAUTY TIPS WRAP UP

Did you know that babies as young as eight months will stare at an attractive female face, of any race and culture, longer than an average or less attractive face. This early recognition of beauty may be one indication of what it means to be created in the image of God. God loves beauty. He creates it. He lives in it, "...strength and beauty are in His sanctuary" (Psalms 96:6b). "He has made everything beautiful in its time. . ."(Ecclesiates 3:11). I'm not a Hebrew scholar, but I do know that the word which is translated "beautiful" in this verse is the same one used to describe the countinance of David in I Sam. 16:12. It is only God who can take what is ugly and turn it into something beautiful!

The best makeup is a makeover for the soul, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, and the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit" (I Peter 3:3-4). It is not that good hair styles, jewelry and clothes are wrong. They can enhance your physical appearance. However if one depends on those things for beauty, it is wasted money! I have seen plenty of people who had all these things that literally looked miserable. Joyless lives were written into their faces.

Of Jesus it was prophesied that, "...he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him" (Isa. 53:2b). I doubt that Jesus was a handsome person. I see him as being Lincolnesque. Lincoln, the second great emancipator, was ridiculed because of his looks, but was made handsome by what he did. I have never thought of him as being anything other than handsome. So I think it was with Jesus. He was probably not a physically handsome individual, but was made beautiful by what he accomplished for you and me. So it can be with you. Great people wind up being gorgeous, but gorgeous people seldom wind up being great!

Grace&Peace;
Tom

BEAUTY TIPS 4

7. You get better with age. If we can keep a smiles on our faces so that we have smile wrinkles in our faces and work out with some degree of regularity, we will tend to look better and feel more attractive as we age. It amazes me at the amount of young people who already have frowns etched in their faces and flab stretched in their figuares. Just smiling and working out makes one feel more attractive, even more so as one ages.

8. Beauty isn't the "silver bullet" that will transform your life. Naturally beautiful people are no happier than the rest of us. I asked my wife once if I was handsome. She said, "Weeeeeell, yooou areeee ruggedly handsome." Even us "ruggedly handsome" folks have to deal with life like everyone else. Sure, there are times when we receive preferential treatment because of our looks, but our loved-ones die, we suffer from accidents, disease and hardship too. There has to be something more substantive that helps us through these things. Life can't be successfully lived on looks alone.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

*The eight BEAUTY TIPS were adapted from an article in "Psychology Today"(June 2006).

BEAUTY TIPS 3

Have you considered that God wants His people to be attractive people? When one thinks of John the Baptizer, well may be not. A guy that didn't shave, dressed in camel's hair, ate locusts and wild honey doesn't sound like an attractive dude. However, he was a great speaker, was blunt and to-the-point. His style makes Dr. Laura sound soft and sweet, but just like callers call Dr. Laura, many came to the desert to have their toes stomped on by John. There is something about confident commitment to God that is attractive.

5. Become aware of your self-talk. I doubt that John ever said to himself, "You loser. What are you doing wandering around in the desert in this itchey camel's hair sweater. Why don't you get a real job?!?" Stop the negative self talk. God created you. Jesus died for you. You are of greater worth than anything in all the world. It is because of this truth that you are desirable to other people. When you understand this you become warm and interesting to other people.

6. Dress in a way that says, "I'm approachable." I'm sure John's camel's hair sweater said, "come and talk to me." It is not how beautiful you are but how approachable you are.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

BEAUTY TIPS 2

I apologize for keeping you all waiting on "Beauty Tips 2." With soy harvesting in full swing I have been busy. You might ask, "What does an old geezer like you know about beauty anyway?" I'm starting to get up there in years, but I'm not dead yet! Any one who knows the Lord knows something about beauty because God is the author of beauty. He is surrounded by it, and He is the one who knows what it takes to be truly beautiful.

3. It's not about you. Do not focus on your self. When you do that you become more critical of yourself. Rather, make yourself approach others and make them feel wanted. Then your own insecurities will diminish. It is this kind of socialization that will make you appear to be more attractive to others.

4. Do not think of your body as an object to be gazed upon, but as a performing object. If it is a performing object it can be trained and transformed. This change in thinking changes one from being helpless and passive to being more proactive and powerful and that is attractive.

Grace&Peace;
Tom