EMPATHY, COMPASSION, SYMPATHY, PITY*

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; pray therefore the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest" (Matthew 9:36-37).

Not all that is called empathy is empathy. Even professionals confuse empathy and sympathy, sometimes intentionally I think, politicians being the worst offenders. Confusing sympathy and empathy can have severe consequences so it is essential to be able to tell the difference. Sympathetic counsel almost always results in freezing the problem in place, if not making it worse. While empathy alone is not the "silver bullet" that heals all problems, it is foundational to problem solving and healing because in empathy one reaches an understanding of the person with the problem.

Sympathy seems to come to human beings fairly naturally, but empathy is a skill that needs to be learned and developed. Some people seem to be more naturally inclined towards empathy than others, but the skill can be developed in most people through the example of a role model, education and training.

A classic definition of sympathy is sameness of feeling--"I feel your pain." A classic definition of empathy is the power to enter into the feeling of another resulting in understanding. In other words, empathy is the decision to come into understanding distance of another by entering into their pain. Sympathy is completely an emotional experience while empathy is decision to enter into the world of another to gain understanding and with understanding one is more likely to bring about solutions and healing. (To be continued)

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post

FINANCIAL ADULTERY*

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also (Matthew 6:21).

A person's bank statements are a record of one's true values. Do you suppose God has a direct line to the local bank's records? In any case, Jesus taught that where a person's money is spent is where the heart is. If one spends his money on heaven, his heart will be there too.

Financial problems are the leading factor involved in divorce. In most cases it isn't that there isn't sufficient money, but it is that there isn't sufficient money to satisfy competing values. Of course, there is never enough money to satisfy our wants, but there is enough to satisfy our needs.

When couples marry, they promise faithfulness to one another, but if one of the partners spends money in disregard of the other, thinking only of personal desires, that is what I call, Financial Adultery. The way the money is being spent indicates where the heart is--it is not in the marriage, if fact, it undercuts the stability of the marriage. Financial infidelity is just as serious a breach of trust as an affair.

I have said all this to introduce a quote from Dr. Val Farmer, a psychotherapist and columnist in a weekly area farm paper I used to receive, Complete trust about money is about as basic to a relationship as is sexual and emotional loyalty. Financial unfaithfulness in a marriage is just as destructive to a marriage as any other kind of unfaithfulness. Of course, just as an affair doesn't have to mean the end of a marriage, financial infidelity doesn't have to end it either, but the recovering of trust can be just as difficult.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.
**I will be a dorm dad to about 35 boys for the next week, so be patient about receiving a new post.

THE NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE 5*

But when the time had fully come, God sent forth his Son, born of a woman . . . (Galatians 4:4).

God is the ultimate non-anxious presence. From the first promise of a Savior, as announced in Genesis 3:15, until the birth of Jesus was no less than four thousand years. Over those many years there were countless prayers for God's intervention to deal with the problems of his people. In some cases he did intervene in miraculous fashion, but always intervening according to his covenants. It is according to his purposes that God intervenes in the lives of humanity--he is not emotionally driven to do something because someone might not believe in him. The Bible very clearly says that God had a plan for us, before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). Before the creation, God had a plan for those whom he would create, so when the time was right, he sent forth his Son.

God does not use quick fixes to meet our whims and make us feel better. God takes the long view toward bringing about healing. God does not ordinarily "zap" us with a cure. He is willing to spend what ever it takes to bring about true healing for us. God will not give to us that which costs him nothing. The great salvation that we enjoy was bought and paid for by our Lord Jesus Christ. Oh how we have been blessed by God's non-anxious presence!!!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from a previous post and, thank God, the last in the series!

THE NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE 4*

For as the earth brings forth its shoots, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations (Isaiah 61:11).

One of the necessary characteristics of a leader is non-anxious presence. In the midst of conflict, chaos, tragedy and sorrow a leader will keep it together when everyone else has come apart. Does that mean that a good leader is emotionless? A thousand times, no! A leader weeps with those who weep! She rejoices with those who rejoice! He is shocked by immorality! Non-anxious presence is not emotionless, but it is the appropriate display of the emotions in a given situation. Those who do not display their emotions could be the most anxious of all because they are likely to be afraid of allowing someone else to see into their heart.

To be a non-anxious presence is to model God's presence. Do you know who you are? Do you know what you believe and act consistently with your beliefs in spite of opposing pressure? Does your presence inspire love, righteousness and praise to God? These are some of the qualities of a non-anxious presence.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.

NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE 3*

How long, O Lord? Wilt thou forget me for ever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all the day? (Psalms 13:1-2).*

By his wounds you have been healed (I Peter 2:2-4).

Is it our expectation of God to be to us a genie to grant our wishes? Should we be able to bring our requests to God, and to quote a great American philosopher, "boom"** we have what we want? If we do not get what we want, what is the use in trusting God? For what reason should we worship him? We tend to be pragmatic; if it works, do it. If it doesn't work, forgetaboutit!!

What is interesting to me is that God never worries that some one will not believe in him because he does not grant their request. God goes about his business according to his nature and according to his covenant, working out what is right and best for us. What is right and best for us may not square with what we think is right and best for us. We are frustrated when our pain is not relieved, when we feel like God isn't around.

What I want you to remember is that God is the great physician; he is not the great magician. It is not wrong to bring all our our requests to God! He who has the hairs on your head numbered is very interested in you and will give to you just as a responsible and loving earthly father gives to his children. He will not, however, be your "magic man" to satisfy your every whim, but he will grant to you what is best.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Our loving Heavenly Father does not feel threatened by our requests and emotions. One of the reasons I believe that the Bible is the word of God is because it is so true to life--it allows the full range of human emotion even if it is directed against him.

**John Madden.

THE NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE 2*

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy (Psalms 126:5).

Problems are not solved until we attack them as intelligent beings. We suffer in our attempt to escape this obvious fact. Wailing about diphtheria for centuries got us nowhere. Robert Koch began to grow bacteria on his wife's kitchen stove. The end was diphtheria antitoxin, and diphtheria has been practically wiped off the face of the earth. Perhaps this was the answer to centuries of prayer. My father, a very devout man, believed a striving to the limit in a worthy cause constituted the most eloquent form of prayer (Arthur E. Hertzler, MD).

I know a psychologist who understands non-anxious presence. His practice is to not speak until his client speaks to him. A client came for an appointment and didn't say anything. The client walked to the corner of the office, lay down on the carpeted floor in a fetal position and stayed that way for the fifty-minute session. No words were ever spoken, but just having someone understand and be accepting was powerful therapy. God is that way--he understands! The Messiah was described as the Wonderful Counselor. The Holy Spirit is another counselor, the Comforter, the One who walks along side. The Bible is clear, God is love and he loves each one.

We live in a world that is, in the words of Paul the apostle, "in bondage to decay." In this fallen world there is sickness, hate, death, greed, lust, unfaithfulness and weeds, to name a few. God has determined that it be so, but he has commanded us to deal with this fallen world in practical ways. That is why we have theology, civil law, science, medicine, engineering, biotechnology, etc..

Suppose God always dealt with our prayers by miracle or direct intervention of some sort. We would have never learned, progressed or achieved, except in learned helplessness. Think of the blessings we enjoy as a result of the pain and the sacrifices of those who have gone on before us! God's non-anxious presence has provided for the achievement of the comforts and blessings we enjoy today! Soren Kierkegaard is said to have said, Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays. God changes us in his non-anxious presence.

Have you ever considered that those who labor in their chosen field of work that benefits humanity are answers to prayer?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.

THE NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE*

Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me (John 14:1).

After more than sixty years I can still hear the eloquent prayers that filled the countryside when epidemics of diphtheria appeared. One tube of antitoxin will do more good than all of these (Arthur Hertzler, MD).

Doctor Hertzler practiced medicine in both the 19th and 20th centuries, building a clinic of some renown in Halstead, Kansas. My first ministry was in Abbyville, Kansas, some 40 miles from Halstead so when I read his book, Horse and Buggy Doctor, I connected with it. Dr. Hertzler's father was a Mennonite lay minister, but Dr. Hertzler, himself, was skeptical of prayer and of Christians as they practiced their Christianity, but he did believe in God.

If a person can keep his head on when everyone else is losing theirs, this is what is called, "non-anxious presence." If one can do that over an extended period of time then those who are around him, or her, will begin to regain their heads. This is more easily said than done because the only true "non-anxious presence" is God--to be human is to be anxious. Just as God has a plan for His creation and is working his plan, to be non-anxious ourselves is to trust in God, believe that he is working his plan, and as Christians, live out that plan. As a result, non-anxious people live by their faith and do not allow themselves to be drawn into anxious defensive behaviors like gossip, destructive criticism, outbursts of anger or addictive behaviors.

Non-anxious presence is emotional, but it is not emotionally driven. When one is emotionally driven, he or she ceases to think and only reacts. God, being the only true non-anxious presence, is not stampeded into action by our anxious prayers, rather he answers in the way that is right. One of the reasons Hertzler was skeptical of prayer was that God did not answer in the way he thought God should answer. Eventually, Hertzler did come to the understanding that the answer to prayer is the diligent pursuit of a worthy cause. In this way he saw diphtheria antitoxin as an answer to prayer. God did answer in the way that was best. How much poorer would we be if God "zapped" us with answers to prayer with no effort on our part?

One of the qualities of Godliness is being a non-anxious presence.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post

HERE I RAISE MY EBENEZER

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Jeshanah, and called its name Ebenezer, for he said, "Hitherto the Lord has helped us." So the Philistines were subdued and did not again enter the territory of Israel. And the hand of the Lord was against the Philistines all the days of Samuel (I Samuel 7:12-13).

The last Monday in May is Memorial Day, a holiday that was originally intended to honor the memory of those who have served in the United States military and have died. Though that is still the primary purpose of Memorial Day, it has become a holiday in which we honor the memory of all of our deceased loved ones.

This weekend I helped my elderly mother place flowers at the graves of about a dozen family members, one of them being Ebenezer Bunce, my great, great grand father. Ebenezer was a pastor in the United Brethren Church. Ebenezer's name brought home to me the significance of what we were doing--remembering, honoring and being thankful. Ebenezer means, stone of God's help. It was a monument intended to help the Israelites remember how God helped them! Every monument in the cemetery is an Ebenezer. Who would I be without Ebenezer Bunce? Who would I be without the influence of my Dad? What kind of a country would we have were it not for the ultimate sacrifice of those who have died for it in military service? What kind of country would we have were it not for those whose lives were salt and light as they served Jesus Christ? God used every one of them. Their grave stones are Ebenezers!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

BEWARE OF THE FACTOIDS*

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! (Isaiah 5:20).

Though it has always been true, in the age of the Internet it is even more true, beware of the factoids! I read in a column by Wesley Pruden that the term "factoid" was coined and defined by Norman Mailer, so if that is not a fact do not blame me. A "factoid" is something that , "looks like a fact, could be a fact, but in fact is not a fact."

Of course, politicians are the ones who make the most use of factoids, but so do scientists, sociologists, lawyers, teachers, preachers, counselors, etc.. Factoids are used to make the wrong look right and black look white. Facts are used to reveal and teach the truth. My dad often warned me, "Figures don't lie, but liars sure can figure." So it is always wise for a person to check the "facts" because they might be factoids!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.

THE SAFETY OF RISK TAKING*

Then Jesus said to Simon, "Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people" (Luke 5:10).

What is your top prayer request? Is it "God, keep us safe" or "Watch over us and protect us" or "Keep my life rolling smoothly"?

God is good, but He is also dangerous and He calls those who follow Him into danger. It is one of life's great paradoxes that following the Lord into great danger is the safest place you can be.

Perhaps one of our top prayer requests should be, "Father, help me to take risks for Jesus."

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from a previous post.

I BELIEVE . . . *

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).

The first time I remember hearing the song, I Believe, was on the Lawrence Welk television program way back in the 1950's. The lyrics go something like this:

I believe for every drop of rain that falls, A flower grows . . .

I believe that somewhere in the darkest night, A candle glows . . .

Though those are only the first two lines, it is an inspirational song to me and it still reminds me that when things appear to be hopeless, God is still there. Out of the floods and out of the darkness He will bring beauty and light!

Allied soldiers found in an abandoned house, shortly following World War II, similar words scrawled on a wall; probably written by a holocaust victim:

I believe in the sun, even when it does not shine. I believe in love, even when it is not shown. I believe in God, even when He is silent.

When it seems as if God is silent, He is still working--working for the good of those who love Him. When it seems that evil is unstoppable, do not give up the faith for with out faith in God all hope is lost!!!

And without faith it is impossible to please him. For whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him (Hebrews 11:6).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.

PROBLEM SOLVING 2

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward being . . . (Psalms 51:6a).

Not everyone who comes to a counselor with a problem wants a solution. There is a payoff in having the problem and the counselee simply desires confirmation that the problem does not have a solution. Actually, there are many problems that do not have a clear solution, but there are courses of action that are clearly better than others in managing the problem. Simply wallowing in the woe-is-me victim status is the payoff for those who do not want to change. They receive sympathy and pity from the well-meaning people-helper--that is the payoff. So they remain stuck in their problems.

Job, of the Bible, was a true victim. He suffered at the hand of satan quite a string of tragedies. There are relatively few Job's. There are many people who seem to have a never-ending run of bad luck which prevents them from accomplishment, "The car broke down so I couldn't make it to the job interview," or "I have sent out ten resumes, but no one answers" kind of thing. And so they see themselves as victims of life's unlucky lottery. Of course, the truth is that by taking responsibility one can develop his organizational and communication skills that would prevent these kinds of things from happening.

Many people see money as the solution to life's problems--even many churches do, what a shame. Certainly, money is power, but money cannot solve a non money problem. Money cannot solve a spiritual problem and money cannot solve a character problem. The real problem behind most of our external problems is spiritual. We do not trust God, We do not want to obey God, and we do not want to accept responsibility. We would rather be victims because victims are not responsible.

. . . therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart (Psalm 51:6b).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

PROBLEM SOLVING*

Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts (Zechariah 4:6).

One of the counselor's undeniable truths of life is: There is no pain-free or cost-free way of dealing with a problem. Much of the time people expect the counselor to find an easy-does-it cure or a win-win solution, but this is an unrealistic expectation of the counselor. The only pain-free cure is a miracle. I do believe in miracles, but one of the characteristics of miracles is that they are rare, so one should expect to deal with pain when doing problem solving!!!

The role of the Holy Spirit in the life of the Christian is not to make life pain-free, but it is to encourage fruit production (Galatians 5:22-24) and sometimes it takes a little cutting and pruning to accomplish that (John 15:2). So, the cost of problem solving is pain, but the growth that will result will be worth the pain. Your counselor, the Spirit of God, will walk along side of you, encouraging you and strengthening you as you deal appropriately with problems.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.

SWEAT EQUITY*

Train yourself in godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come (I Timothy 4:7b-8).

According to Iowa State University research, exercising elderly mice boosts their immunity systems so that they are more like young mice. For people it seems to be true as well. Many of the diseases that afflict those in old age are simply caused by weakening immune systems. Exercise enough to sweat every day; that will help keep you young.

I am sure that Paul the Apostle would agree that bodily training has value if it helps us to serve the Lord on this earth a little better for a little longer. That, I think, it does. Do not, however, let up on the godliness training to spend more time on the bodily training!!! Conditioning the "heart" is way more important than conditioning the body!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post in Silver Bullets.

GRIEF IS ALWAYS AN ISSUE*

He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows . . . (Isaiah 53:3-4).

At a workshop I attended on grief and loss, one of the points the presenting psychologist made was, "Loss is anytime life is different from how I wanted or expected it to be." If that is true then in every counseling situation the counselor has to deal with grief. With every problem comes the realization that life doesn't match the picture of life we have in our heads. Our "should-be" world has been lost.

It is a fallen world in which we live, so our dreams of a perfect world, on this earth, will never be realized. As a result, we will always struggle with grief in this life. Grief is not a bad thing--it is an emotional response to the loss of something important or someone who was dear and loved. A person who doesn't grieve is a person who does not care, a person who does not love. What kind of person is that? Nevertheless, even though grief does not ever really go away, it cannot dominate our lives because life does not stop. Grief must be managed because we still have a life to live! Because of Christ, we can find meaning and hope in our grief, . . . that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again . . . (I Thessalonians 4:13-14). It is in Jesus that grief finds its resolution because His resurrection gives us a legitimate hope for a reunion with loved ones; hope for a perfect world in which we will live and the perfect presence of the One who created all things.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Revised from an earlier post.

IT'S A GREAT DAY! IT'S TAX DAY!

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore he who resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgement. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad . . . (Romans 13:1-3).

God has ordained that there be civil government. Civil government is God's instrument to provide order in society. As a result, government officials are entitled to respect and obedience. It goes without saying that government cannot exist if it does not have money; salaries must be paid, office buildings must be built and maintained, equipment and weapons must be purchased, etc. to meet the needs of an orderly society. So, sadly, taxes must be paid; freedom is not free; every one should pay some tax.

Naturally, there is disagreement about what the government should do, how it should work and what the values should be that guide it. One value that has to guide government is that of goodness. If a government does evil and those who do good and stand for what is good are punished then government looses its legitimacy. Government that is a terror to good conduct has lost its legitimacy.

What are the light that guide our government as to what is good or evil? The Bible; Judeo-Christian principles provided the values from which our government has traditionally governed. The Declaration of Independence and, especially, the Constitution are the primary lights. In the case of every American citizen, the Constitution is the governing authority instituted by God. God has not instituted governing officials who took an oath to uphold and protect the Constitution and yet govern arbitrarily.

When Americans allow the lights that guide us to go out, what will become of America? Will we follow lesser lights to our destruction?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

MORE EVIDENCE FOR THE RESURRECTION OF CHRIST

If Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile, and you are still in your sins (I Corinthians 15:17).

Books have been written on the evidence for the resurrection of Jesus Christ. What I present here is not new, but is often over-looked evidence that adds weight to the testimony of the Bible.

1. The bodily resurrection of Christ from the grave is the foundation stone of the Christian faith; if Christ did not rise from the dead, none of it is true. Every time the gospel was preached to the Greeks, the resurrection was spoken of as evidence of the truth of the gospel. Yet, because of the religious and philosophical back-ground of the Greeks, resurrection of a body was not a good thing. To them, the body was not good, it was evil. The tendency of the Greeks would have been to disbelieve it or to change it to something more acceptable; there was no advantage to speak of resurrection to them.

2. It was the women who find the empty tomb and meet the risen Christ first. Given the preference of that culture, this is evidence of the truth of the story. If the story were a made-up one it would have been one of the male apostles, Peter or John, who first met the risen Christ to give more gravitas to the story. But, no, it was the lowly women, perhaps the most lowly one, Mary Magdalene, who had the honor of first seeing the risen Christ. When the resurrection story was told to the males, 'it seemed an idle tale to them.'

These bits of evidence simply add more weight to the already thoroughly documented resurrection event of Jesus Christ. It is because of this event that we have a legitimate hope of entering the eternal country whose builder and maker is God!

Grace&Peace,

Tom

The empty tomb in the garden about 100 meters from the place of crucifixion.

CRUCIFIXION DAY

It was now about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, while the sun's light failed, and the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Then Jesus, crying with a loud voice, said, "Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit!" And having said this he breathed his last (Luke 23:44-46).

Jesus was crucified at about noon on the 14th day of the Hebrew month of Nisan. There are those who argue that the day of Jesus' crucifixion was Wednesday. Others say, Thursday, but tradition says, "Friday." There will always be arguments about the day of the week because the Hebrew calendar is a lunar calendar. As a result, today there are even disagreements about how one calculates the dates for the Easter season. But, there is no disagreement that Jesus was crucified on the 14th day of Nisan, the beginning of the Passover celebration.

The 14th of Nisan was the day God prescribed for the Jews to reenact the events of the Passover. One can read about the institution of the Passover holiday in Exodus 12. Jesus is the real Passover Lamb! He died at about three in the afternoon, the time when it was allowed for the beginning of the sacrificing of the Passover lambs. What the day of the week was is not nearly so important as the fact that He went to the cross for you and for me. Love is the reason for this season because it was His love for God the Father, His love for you and me that held Him on that cross, He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed (I Peter 2:24).

In Jesus Christ is the healing of the relationship of God and man; the curtain of the temple was torn in two. The Passover Lamb was slain that we might have exodus from sin to a life of righteousness. All this because of Crucifixion Day! Have you applied the blood of the Passover Lamb to your life?

Grace&Peace,

Tom

The picture is of a likely place for the crucifixion near the garden tomb.

TRIUMPHAL ENTRY

And the crowds that went before him and that followed him shouted, "Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!" (Matthew21:9).

Save us, we beseech thee, O Lord! O Lord, we beseech thee, give us success! Blessed be he who enters in the name of the Lord (Psalms 118: 25-26).

Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! Lo, your king comes to you triumphant and victorious is he, humble and riding on an ass, on a colt the foal of an ass (Zechariah 9:9).

A book could be written about this one event in our Lord's life. There are so many events in the history of Israel that are at play in the minds of those who are meeting Jesus. The Davidic covenant in which God promised that Israel would always have a king of the line of David, was one of them. Another major event in the history of Israel that was influencing the people was the celebration of the liberation of the nation of Israel under the Maccabees. Then there were the miracles of Jesus himself. He fed the multitudes, healed the sick and raised the dead--especially Lazarus. Jesus had to be the one who fulfilled the prophets!

Prophecy its self is a major factor in what happened in the triumphal entry. One of the characteristics of the Jews that made them different from all others is that they had a linear view of history, not a circular view. They believed that history had direction because God was in control of it. They believe history had purpose, that it was not just never-ending cycles. Therefore, the prophets could prophesy because God was in control of the future. Because of the prophets, there was a great deal of expectation for the appearance of the promised Messiah immediately before Jesus' birth, during his life, and for a time after his life on this earth. Jesus' life on this earth fit the description of the prophet's Messiah and so he was welcomed in triumphal entry into Jerusalem.

In less than a week's time the Jews rejected Jesus as the Messiah because he did not fit their expectations of what a messiah should be. Knowing that it leads to this question, What are your expectations of the Messiah? How do they measure up against the truth of God's Word? Has Jesus had a triumphal entry into your life?

Grace&Peace,

Tom

The picture is of the Golden Gate where Jesus would have entered Jerusalem.

WORSHIP

I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship (Romans 12:1).

Not all we call worship is worship. There are instances when people seem to be worshipping but no worship is occurring at all. Arriving at true worship is a little like baking a cake; all the ingredients must be included if it is going to be good.

The most important ingredient in good worship is truth. Worship that is rooted in myth and superstition, even though it is given with great reverence, emotion and sincerity, is not pleasing to God.

Though sincerity cannot stand alone as the validating quality of worship, it must accompany truth if worship is to be pleasing to God. Worship that honors God with the lips while the heart is far from Him is hypocrisy.

A healthy amount of service must be stirred in with sincerity and truth to have genuine worship. Simply being obedient to God's will because of one's faith in Him is worship at its best.

Of course, love is the frosting on the cake, enhancing all the ingredients so that they "taste" better. Can there be any worshipping the God who is love without love?

Changing the baby's diapers is worship because God wants us to care for our children. Doing a good job on the job is worship because it is God's will that His people do good work, as well as to earn money to with which to support our families and the less fortunate. Worship is also gathering with God's people to praise Him and His Son, Jesus--this must not be neglected anymore than the other forms of worship.

Worship is not confined to one hour on one day a week, but it is a whole life lived in humble obedience to God.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THE SOURCE OF HOPE

For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that by steadfastness and by the encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope (Romans 15:4).

A little more than twenty years ago, the news media reported on a wellness study that researched the wellness of 16,936 Harvard alumni. At the time I wrote a devotional about it. One of the statistics resulting from the study was so astounding that I wanted to confirm it before I wrote about it again. So, I "gooogled" "16,936 Harvard alumni" and found the study in The New Wellness Encyclopedia, by the editors of the University of California, Berkeley, Wellness Letter. It confirmed what I had reported many years ago.

The wellness study of 16,936 Harvard alumni revealed that moderate exercise significantly lengthens the span of life. But this quote is the real shocker! Their mortality rates from every major cause were generally half that of most white males--except for suicides, where their rate was 50% higher. Wow! Does that shatter conventional wisdom or what! Health, wealth and a superior education should result in a life of satisfaction and contentment, right?!?

Education does play a significant role in helping a person to cope with the stresses of life, but a hopeless education isn't nearly as significant! A life without purpose is a life without hope. When a person is told that he is an accident, simply the result of time plus chance, then what is the purpose? A life without purpose is a life without hope. God is the source of purpose and hope. It is not an accident that one of the characteristics common to survivors is faith in God.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

A LESSON FROM MY LOADER

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together (Colossians 1:17).

When I was still in the cattle business, my loader tractor ran about four hours a day, three hundred sixty-five days a year. There were two little cap screws on the hydraulic controls that regularly worked themselves loose no matter how tight I tightened them. The cumulative effect of hours of vibration is what loosened those screws. When I would put my hand on the controls it didn't seem like the vibration was severe enough to loosen those cap screws, but it was. The shock of each vibration seemed to be minute, but enough of them can loosen, fatigue and break almost anything.

Life is like that. It is not the big shocks that do us in, it is the cumulative effect of all the little ones. Then when the big shockers come along, our lives fall apart because we haven't kept our "screws tight," so to speak. The unchristian philosophies and values that are promoted through the entertainment industry, the personality conflicts, the gossip, the inconveniences, etc., are vibrations that loosen the "nuts, bolts and screws" of our lives.

How do we keep our lives properly maintained so that they hold together? Have faith in Jesus Christ. Develop a circle of Christian brothers and sisters to support you in the faith. Pray and study the Bible on a regular basis. Worship with the body of Christ. Be involved in Christian service--helping others in the name of Jesus. All of these are indispensable to your life-maintenance schedule.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

. . . now he commands all men everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he as appointed, and of this he has given assurance to all men by raising him from the dead (Acts 17:30,31).

On May 19, 1780, night fell on New England at ten in the morning and continued for five hours. The birds went to roost, the noon meal had to be eaten by candlelight, and no reading or writing could be done except by candlelight. No, this was not an eclipse; the moon was in the wrong phase.

I think the most interesting part of the whole story is the human response to the "unnatural" phenomena. Church buildings became a gathering place for many to seek a last-minute pardon from God. Many others crowded into the taverns to escape reality. But the most healthy response was uttered by House member Abraham Davenport when the Connecticut Legislature came to the panicky conclusion that it was Judgment Day: The Day of Judgment is coming or it is not. If it is not, there is no occasion for alarm. If it is I wish to be found in the line of my duty . . .

How will it be for you when the promised judgment really does come?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

P.S. It is said that the explanation for this phenomena was massive forest fires in Canada that the smoke blotted out the sun. Perhaps so, but it seems very unlikely that would happen so early in the year in eastern Canada.

THE POWER OF ONE

How beautiful are the feet of those who preach good news! (Romans 10:15b).

Today is St. Patrick's day--I hope you have your green on!

The dates of Patrick's birth and death are not known with certainty, but they fall roughly between 385 and 461. Patrick was taken as a slave, while still a boy, to Ireland. He managed to escape and return to his home land, but he felt the call of God to return to Ireland with the gospel. He was about forty years old when he did actually return. Patrick was not particularly talented as a teacher or a preacher, but the impact of the good news on Ireland was not lost. Almost single-handedly, Patrick brought literacy and Faith to a nation. Hopefully, the Irish will not throw away their most important heritage!

See what one person can do?!?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

TRY A DIFFERENT ROAD

. . . ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls (Jeremiah 6:16).

It was in Mrs. Skinner's English class at Sutherland High School that I first remember being introduced to the works of Robert Frost. The message of The Road Not Taken has stayed with me these many years since I first read the poem; it has played a significant role in my decision-making. Of course, the message is that we should take the less-traveled ways during the course of our lives because we will have rewards that most people will not experience.

Less-traveled roads are not the quickest, easiest or safest roads to travel, but they do have the freshest air, the prettiest scenery, and a slower pace to enjoy it all. Naturally, less-traveled roads are probably the oldest roads. They were used less and less as corners were cut and easier ways were found to reach one's destination.

During this journey through life, we must pause occasionally to consider what we are missing by following the masses on the easy roads. What have we missed by taking the well-traveled, and consequently, smoggy road of self-indulgence rather than breathing the fresh air of true love? What beautiful view have we missed by traveling the well-worn road of materialism rather than the scenic road of faith? How much stress do we carry by traveling the crowded freeway of ambition rather than the serene route of service to God?

And I--I took the road less traveled by, and that made all the difference.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

IN HONOR OF MARCH MADDNESS: JOHN WOODEN'S PHILOSOPHY

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones (Proverbs 14:30).

I have a great deal of respect for coaches because the result of their philosophy of life is brought to life and tested in the public arena of competition in each game. One such coach, who is arguably the greatest coach in the history of the game of basketball, is John Wooden. He coached the UCLA Bruins to ten NCAA championships. I will never forget something he said in a television interview many years ago. His thought was basically this: One of the most common mistakes coaches make is emphasizing what they do not have in terms of talent, size and speed, rather than what they do have. Wooden pointed out that when a coach is wishful for what he doesn't have, and can't do anything about, he fails to develop fully what he does have.

Not only do coaches make this mistake, almost everybody else makes it too!! So many lament their lack of money, power, talent, good-looks, etc. that they fail to develop what they do have. As a result, they lose. One cannot do anything about what he doesn't have. Develop what you have! Play the hand you have been dealt!

The first thing that anyone can develop is a relationship to God. It has been offered to all in Jesus Christ! This not only will transform your life, it will give you possessions that can never be taken away!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

DILIGENCE

The hand of the diligent will rule . . . (Proverbs 12:24).

Hayden Fry, the winningest football coach in Hawkeye history, would use this expression to communicate diligence, "We're stickin' to our knittin'." My banker calls it, "scratchin'." Webster calls it "constant, careful effort." However you phrase it, diligence is necessary for a successful, meaningful existence.

Diligence implies a plan. Life can be very frustrating and depressing if one does not have a goal and a plan by which he can reach it. Taking God's will into account, make a goal and make a plan to reach it within a year's time. Planning is the first step to winning!

Diligence means working your plan carefully. Haphazard efforts rarely bring success or personal satisfaction into our lives.

Diligence also means perseverance. Any goal which is worthwhile will cost you something to achieve it. That's life; it even costs God something to achieve His plans. Don't give up too quickly; give your plan a chance to work!

It is noteworthy that this text does not promise success to the righteous or to those who are evil, but to the diligent. That is why those who are righteous must be ever vigilant and diligent or else evil will rule!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

ORIGINAL SIN OR ORIGINAL RIGHTEOUSNESS?

Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness . . ." (Genesis 1:26).

One of the most commonly accepted doctrines in Christendom is the doctrine of original sin, the belief that sin is in human nature. It is so embedded in human nature that even the remission of sin found in Jesus Christ cannot eradicate it, for it continues to be passed along to the children of Christian parents.

It seems to me that a doctrine that makes the sin of Adam a more powerful dynamic than the redemption and pardon found in Jesus Christ is suspect. If the doctrine of original sin is such an obvious teaching of Scripture, why is it that the earliest creeds of the church, the Apostle's Creed and the Nicene Creed, did not teach it? Because the earliest Christians still held an Apostolic view of the fall; they understood the difference between guilt and consequences. We do not bear the guilt of Adam's sin, but we share in the consequences, two of which are these:

1) When sin entered the world through Adam's disobedience, he passed from a state of innocence to a state of personal accountability. We share in that consequence.

2) When Adam and Eve were removed from the Garden, they no longer had access to the tree of life, thus their physical death was a forgone conclusion. We share in the consequence of physical death too, for the same reason.

If there is something in the make up of a human being that is passed from one generation to another, it is original righteousness--we are created in the image of God. Though all humanity has fallen into sin, following the desires of the flesh, the wisdom of the world and the seduction of satan, the image has not been blotted out! Beings created in the image of God have great nobility! Beings created in the image of God have a great responsibility! Beings created in the image of God have a great Savior!

The doctrine of Original Sin is a doctrine of death. The doctrine of Original Righteousness is a doctrine of hope!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THE REAL WASHINGTON

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves (James 1:22).

One of the disadvantages of being dead is that those who are living can make any kind of person out of you that they want. Evidence can be bent enough to make the dead person into the image that the historian chooses. So it has been with the life of our first President, George Washington*. There have been historians who contended that Washington was a deist and not a Christian because he did not speak of Christ very often. He did not speak of Christ often, that is true, but when he did it was powerful. Proclaiming the first Thanksgiving holiday, Washington said,

It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor.

In an address to his soldiers he said, To the distinguished character of patriot, it should be our highest glory to add the more distinguished character of Christian.

Powerful stuff!! His words represent the thinking of the great majority of our founding fathers!
Washington's personal motto was, Deeds not words. He was a doer who did not spend a lot of time talking. What our deeds say is the real truth about who we are. When Henry Lee, interestingly, the father of Robert E. Lee, gave Washington's funeral oration, he said about him,
First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen. To that we say, AMEN for he was our first and best president.

Remember, Washington's birthday is the 22nd.

Grace&Peace,
Tom


* Much of the information in this devotion I owe to the research of Peter A. Lillback, Ph. D. and the History News Network of George Mason University, 2-12-07.

ALEXANDER CHOSE SIDES ON VALENTINE'S DAY

. . . baptism that now saves you also--not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ. . .(I Peter 3:21 NIV).

When my grandson, Alexander, was baptized on Valentine's day I was thinking, "Now Alexander has officially chosen sides." In a sense, Alexander has been a Christian all of his ten years of life. He has Christian parents who have taught and modeled the teachings of Christ his whole life long. Ninety per cent of the time, when there is congruence between what the parents say they believe and their actual behavior, the children will adopt the parent's faith. That is the way it is with Alexander. But, on Valentine's Day, Alexander made it official. In baptism he made the pledge to serve our Lord Jesus Christ and to trust our savior, Jesus Christ, for salvation.

The term that is translated "pledge" is also translated "answer" in other versions of the Bible. Giving an answer or making a pledge are essential in making a vow or a covenant. In this case, in baptism, one swears by the blood of Jesus--the covenant is signed in the blood of Jesus and sealed in the Holy Spirit. Alexander now has all the blessings of the New Covenant available to him. He now has all of its responsibilities too, that of living a life of service to Jesus Christ.

Have you publicly pledged, on Christ's terms, not your own, your trust in and your service to Jesus Christ? Alexander has.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

Lincoln & Darwin, Their 200th Birthday

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth . . . Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth" (Genesis 1:1, 26 RSV).

The great emancipator, Abraham Lincoln, and best articulator of the theory of evolution, Charles Darwin, share the same birthday, February 12, 1809. A quote from each man is revealing. In them we see the implications of the logical consequences of their different faiths.

First, a quote from Lincoln's second inaugural address, spoken near the end of America's costliest war, the Civil War:

With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds . . .

Now a quote from Darwin found on Google's Brainy Quotes:

At some future period, not very distant as measured by centuries, the civilized races of man will almost certainly exterminate, and replace the savage races through out the world.

The legacy of Lincoln is that the preserved Union became best nation in the history of the world. Treating people, no matter who they are, as God's creation and worthy of love, had a great deal to do with America's strength and goodness.

The legacy of social Darwinism is grim. Sigmund Freud, Margaret Sanger, Hitler, Stalin, etc. followed the logical conclusions of social Darwinism and the result has been a story of pain, blood and death.

Oh yes, Darwin was a man of faith. Though his disavowed faith in the God of the Bible, he adopted faith in nature, about which knowledge is not absolute. I'm sure that when he met God, who has absolute knowledge, there was weeping and gnashing of teeth!

Which birthday do you want to celebrate?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

WHAT IS SELF-CONTROL? 2

Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable (I Corinthians 9:25).

John Tierny, New York Time columnist, wrote an article called, For Good Self-control, Try Getting Religious About It.* In it he cited research done by the Universities of Miami and Maryland which confirmed that religious people do tend to be more self-controlled than nonreligious people.

Why is that? Faith gives us purpose to live in a certain way so that we can live intentionally rather than simply being victims of our feelings, impulses and urges. Faith not only restrains us from negative behaviors, it motivates us to do right behaviors in spite of our feelings. Much of what is called "depression" is simply a lack of self-control. Faith gives us a reason and it gives us a resource to get up and get going. The dynamic of the Holy Spirit is essential to the formation of self-control in our lives--the fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control (Galatians 5:23)!!

Faith in Christ does not mean that self-control problems will vanish, but it is the necessary first-step to a life of real purpose and fulfillment.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

WHAT IS SELF-CONTROL?

Like a city breached, without walls, is one who lacks self-control (Proverbs 25:28).

A quote attributed to Rupert Brooke says, "The worst of slaves is he whom passion rules." After reading a little about his life on Wikipedia, I believe his wisdom resulted from his own personal battles for self-control.

One of the greatest expressions of love for God, humanity and self is simple self-control. Those who possess self-control are trustworthy and dependable. They can keep in check obsessive, compulsive and unacceptable behaviors. The one with self-control is one who is able to hold over-emotional responses in check as well. Fear, anger and selfishness always bring about destruction and sorrow and seldom work for the benefit of anyone, including one's self--it is hard to have enduring relationships and gainful employment without self-control.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

GRACE EVENTS

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all, training us to renounce impiety and worldly passions, and in the present age to live lives that are self-controlled, upright, and godly . . . (Titus 2:11-12).

As a Christian counselor, one of the assumptions I make when a person, a couple or a family comes with a problem is that God is already at work in their lives. God has created us. Jesus has died for us all. God has not abandoned those whom He loves. The problem itself can be a grace event that prods a person to change and to grow. We think of grace in the terms of being made safe from God's wrath, but salvation is much more than that! Salvation also means becoming spiritually complete, whole and healthy servants of God. Grace is the environment in which we live. It is how God brings about healthy and good change into our lives. Therefore, when we have problems we should think of them as grace events. Problems are grace events not because God caused them, but because He alone is the One who can bring good out of our worst problems. That "good" being the change, growth and maturation of those He loves.

Thinking about our problems in this way helps us recognize the solutions that God opens up to us.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

WHO IS PRECIOUS IN HIS SIGHT?

Do not begin to say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our ancestor'; for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children to Abraham (Luke 3:8).

I do not know very much about Clare Herbert Woolston except that he has the same name as a shirt-tail relative of mine and that he was a preacher in Chicago during the late 19th century and the early 20th century. Also he authored the words to a little children's song that we used to sing in Sunday school when I was a little boy, Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and Yellow, Black and White, all are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world. I imagine that serving the Lord in a city like Chicago proved to be the source of inspiration for this little song.

How is it that anyone who trusts in the God of Bible could have ever thought that God loves one race more than another? I am familiar with some of the reasons given, but they all ring hollow. God is concerned about what is in a person's heart and character. Least of all is he concerned with the color of their skin; it is not an issue with Him!

Genocide is evil, yet there is a slow genocide that is against the unborn, and particularly, the Black unborn. Blacks make up a little less than 15 percent of the American population, but Black babies account for 36 percent of the abortion total. God weeps just as much for an unborn black baby who was denied the gift of life as an aborted white baby. Which one of them might have been a future President?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

THIS IS THE DAY

This is the day which the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it (Psalms 118:24).

If 1 is awful and 10 is fantastic, on a scale of 1 to 10, how are you feeling today?

It is at least an implication, if not a direct command, of this text to find something in each day to rejoice about. Learning to rejoice in difficult circumstances is a skill not taught in public schools, or any other school* for that matter, yet it is a basic skill for success in life. Check out the biographies of successful people and see if that is not the case. It should be taught across the curriculum. I can see it now, a unit of "Rejoicing in Physics."

Our prayer request for each day should be, "Help me to see the good in this day."

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Once in a while Sunday schools touch on it.

A WORD TO A FRIEND

I received word from a friend today that death over took her brother very unexpectedly. These words are for her and for all and for all who are dealing with grief:

The Lord is near to the broken hearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the Lord delivers him out of them all (Psalms 34:18-19).

Our Father's Blessings,
Tom

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO SINK IN THE SEA OF GOD'S LOVE

"Thou hast made us like sheep for slaughter, and hast scattered us among the nations, Thou hast sold thy people for a trifle, demanding no high price for them. Thou hast made us the taunt of our neighbors; the derision and scorn of those about us, Thou hast made us a byword among the nations, a laughingstock among the peoples . . ." (Psalm 44:11-14).

I had the honor of officiating my uncle Harry's funeral on Monday. He would have been 101 years of age in April. Harry Warren was my uncle by marriage, having been married to my mother's sister, Joyce, who passed away 16 years ago.

The Scripture text I used for the funeral sermon was from Romans 8:31-39. The text is very comforting, speaking about nothing being able to separate us from the love of God, except that in the middle of the text Paul uses this quote from Psalm 44, ". . .we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." That has always been a difficult text for me. How could the apostle Paul ruin such a beautiful thought about God's love by adding such a negative thought?

One of the reasons I believe that the Bible is truly the word of God is that it truly reveals and recognizes the pain of humanity. People are not condemned for expressing their hurt and anger to God. How could God allow such talk to be expressed to Him as it is in Psalm 44? He does because He understands our pain and grief! And do you know what? HE STILL LOVES US!!!

"No! In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us. For I am sure that neither death nor life; angels or principalities; things present or things to come; nor powers; nor height nor depth; nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, our Lord" (Romans 8:27-29).

So,what I thought was negative is really a positive. Even when we are angry with God, that cannot separate us from His love. Almost exactly a year ago, January 19th, I was swimming on the Dead Sea. It is impossible to sink in the Dead Sea. I do not swim very well, so for me it was very comforting to swim in waters that I could trust to hold me up. It the same way, it is impossible to sink in the sea of God's love.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

TO BE WITH 4

"'Behold, the Virgin shall be with child and shall bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,' which translated means, 'God with us'" (Matthew 1:23).

"I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you" (John 14:16-17).

"Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest . . . For since He himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted" (Hebrews 2:17-18).

The testimony of Scripture is clear. God wants to be with us, not just in a theoretical theology, but in a tangible reality! God became flesh, like you and me--He knows what it is like to be human! He is on your side! His Spirit walks along side you, making provision for your life. Not only that, He desires to live in you and strengthen you with might in your inner self IF you surrender to His will.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

I'm not sure if "To Be With" was a random thought or one that the Lord placed in my mind for me to write about. However, if anything I have written about "To Be With" has helped you, I am sure it was the latter!

TO BE WITH 3

"Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).

A great many marriages fail; some as a result of addictions, some as a result of abuse and some as a result of affairs. When I see clients who see themselves as victims of a spouse's failures, at some point in the counseling process I always ask them, "What did you contribute to your spouse's failure?" Every apparently "Innocent victim" needs to do some honest self-examination to consider the possibility that he or she contributed something to the failures of the spouse.

Could it have been the lack of real presence? How can you make love to a spouse whose mind is a million miles away at work? How can you really be with some one who is a constant critic? These defile the marriage bed too because they prevent two people from really being with each other.

While there is no sufficient cause for sexual marital infidelity, abuse and addictions, yet the infidelities of workaholism, negative criticism or other-people pleasing can surely be contributing factors.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

TO BE WITH 2

"Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?" (Amos 3:3).

Taking a journey with another person requires a certain level of agreement, depending on the kind of journey that is about to be traveled. Going on a tour of the Holy Land with a group does not require the same level of agreement and commitment as going on a life journey of marriage.
On the issue of defining marriage as a faith relationship between a man and a woman, I would gladly stand with a Mormon. On the sanctity of life issue I would gladly stand shoulder to shoulder with a Roman Catholic even though with both Mormons and Roman Catholics I have some serious theological differences and could not travel the whole faith journey with them. Just because I cannot travel the whole faith journey with them does not mean that I cannot be thankful for the positive faith influences that they bring to our culture.

"Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (II Corinthians 6:14).

When it comes to life journeys, like marriage, business partnerships or even intimate friendships, there, of necessity, has to be common values, a common faith, a common way of looking at life. Often these days, a common religious faith is discounted, believing that love conquers all. But, in all too many of these marriages there is a great deal of unhappiness because of the differences of faith and values.

There is an old adage that says, "opposites attract." Actually it is true, and for a while it does seem exciting, but what is also true is that a relationship with another has a much greater chance of success over the long term if the people in the relationship are more alike rather than different! Relationships in which the partners are very much alike still have enough differences to make things exciting!

To really be with another in a relationship, find someone who is more alike who is more alike rather than different!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

TO BE WITH

How to Be Fun to Be With - wikiHow

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law" (Galatians 5:22-23).

Expressing myself, either in writing or orally, is not easy for me and yet this skill is essential to what I do as a pastor and counselor. Often, what I write here is the rough draft of what will follow for a devotional or a sermon--it is part of a creative process for me. Such is what follows. If it seems not to make sense, or be disconnected, that is why. If you follow me all the way through this, perhaps you will get a clue as to how my mind works.


If a "hit man" was trying to discover my routine so that he could "take me out," he wouldn't have to work very hard. Twice a day I walk my dog, Obie, for a mile, most usually early in the morning and late in the evening--I would be an easy target. It was during one of those walks with Obie that I was thinking about possible topics to write about that this phrase came to mind completely "out of the blue," "To be with." I do like the challenge of making something meaningful come from a random thought, and yet, was it a random thought? I will be sharing some of my thoughts about what it means "to be with" in the next couple of posts.


The first part of "being with" has to do with being the kind of person one wants to be with. I "googled" the phrase "to be with" and one of the things I came up with was the article from wiki posted above. I thought it was good enough to share. However, if a person is a Christian, with the fruit of the Spirit growing in his life, there should be a winsomeness that makes him or her good to be with.


Grace&Peace,

Tom

PRAYER THOUGHT FOR 2009

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words" (Romans 8:26).

"In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart" (John Bunyon).

Grace&Peace,
Tom

BLIND SPOTS

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23-24).

Blind spots; we all have them. Physically, there is a spot on the retina of each eye where the optic nerve is attached; there are no rods and cones on that spot so there is no sight in that place. Every person has a blind spot in each eye--that should make you want to look twice before you pull out into traffic.

Actually, a blind spot is any lack of self-awareness, it can be physical, psychological, social or spiritual. A blind spot can cause destruction, death and mayhem simply because one wasn't willing to look twice before pulling out into traffic; the psychological, social and spiritual consequences can be just as devastating if a blind spot is not acknowledged.

First, social and emotional blind spots can have a physical cause, for instance, a person with Aspberger's Syndrome lacks mirror neurons in his brain which enable him to read the emotions of another. It is, therefore, extremely difficult for him to have appropriate sensitivity in social situations because he cannot "see" and so life is much more difficult for him. A whole list of brain dysfunctions could be compiled that cause a lack of social and emotional awareness.

Unrecognized bias and prejudice also create blind spots. To make decisions simply on the basis of felt beliefs without examining them can be very dangerous and be the cause a lot of collateral pain.

Most people go around in a kind of hypnotic state open to the power of suggestion. When the conventional worldly wisdom makes a suggestion, we tend to hop on the bandwagon. When one refuses to consider that the conventional wisdom might be wrong then a huge blind spot is created. Just six months ago, who would have believed we would be dealing with such a bad economy as this? The conventional wisdom said otherwise! And, who would have thought that a guy running a ponzi scheme could cheat some very "smart" people out of fifty billion dollars? Anyone who questioned his "investment" scheme was thought to be stupid.

Now there are some people who will never admit to having a blind spot--narcissist and other self-absorbed people come to mind. But, for the rest of us, especially during this Festivus season (I couldn't resist), it is important to remember that we do have some places in our lives where there is a lack of awareness and need to ask for God's help to see them. The Lord may send a mean-spirited critic to help us see. Our worst critics can be our best friends if there is truth in their criticisms. The Lord has given us His Word, His Spirit, teachers, preachers, counselors and may be even a mean-spirited critic to help us see.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

WHAT TO KEEP & WHAT TO THROW AWAY 3

In an earlier post I related How Helen was going through all of the memorabilia stored in a bed room that we want to use when we have our family home for Christmas. One of the items Helen had sorted for the "Sacred Fire"* was a 1907 charcoal sketch of Abraham Lincoln with these words by Lincoln printed beneath the picture:

"I do the very best I know how--the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference." --Abraham Lincoln.

Lincoln had a way of putting life into perspective. George Bush would especially benefit from these words, as would we all.

The picture is in poor condition, but I thought with appropriate cropping and matting it could be a great antique wall hanging again. Should I keep it or should I give it a dignified end?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*The "Sacred Fire" is a fire ring in our back yard dedicated to the burning of memorabilia not important enough to keep, but too dear just to be tossed in the dumpster. Also, worn-out flags, Bibles and Christian materials that are too far out of date to be useful find a dignified ending in the "Sacred Fire." We can then dispose of these things with a clear conscience.

MARRIAGE FOR GAYS AND LESBIANS?

"Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

When a lesbian couple was "married" by the authority of the state of Connecticut this fall, one of the partners said that being married felt different than a civil union.* This couple already had a civil union which officially legalized and recognized their relationship. It set me to questioning, "What is different about being married than having a civil union?" What are the practical differences? I can think of only one--faith. Marriage comes from the realm of faith. Marriage was established by God--not by the state. He established the boundaries for it. In the Bible there is never a provision for gay or lesbian marriage--unless, of course, a gay guy and a lesbian marry each other.

Marriage is a faith relationship. A civil union is not a faith relationship, rather it is a legal relationship established by the state. Though a civil union is legal it is not sanctioned by God. The push for same-sex marriage is a desperate attempt by gays and lesbians to receive God's blessing on their relationship.

Some gays and lesbians may argue that being "married" normalizes their relationship and that they would not be stigmatized if they were "married." In a civil union the state gives legal sanction to the relationship, what more is needed--the approval of God? If the state normalizes the relationship why should God's approval be necessary?

When the state "marries" same-sex couples it is becoming involved in God's business. The wall of separation of church and state has been violated by the state. Whatever the decree of the state, it will not change the Word of God. It will only be marriage in the sight of man, but not in the sight of God! The logical conclusion of the state becoming involved in matters of faith is to make criminals of those who believe the Bible.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*from my memory of a newscast when Connecticut's same-sex marriage law when into effect.

WHAT TO KEEP & WHAT TO THROW AWAY 2

". . . but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).



The psychological/emotional/spiritual house cleaning, which must be done periodically, is not an easy thing to do either. Not only are there old habits and addictions to be dealt with, but there are a lot of traumas to deal with too. How is it done?



Yesterday, I had some business that took me to Spirit Lake, Iowa. On the return trip I made a short excursion around to where my grandfather's cottage had been on west lake Okoboji. The cottage is gone now, replaced by a much larger house. A flood of memories came back to me as I looked out over the lake; almost all of them good. One memory of this lake is actually a dream. In the months following the deaths of my brother and my dad, I began to have a recurring dream of swimming out towards the middle of the bay--I was too far out to get back to our dock but too far away from the other shore to swim there either. I was drowning! I had that dream several times--enough times so that I talked to a psychologist professor friend of mine about it. He told me that I was having a normal grief experience. My psychologist friend, being a Christian, was affirming and assuring that, though we cannot get back to the familiar, happy and safe times of yesterday, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will take us to the far shore that is infinitely better. I haven't had that dream in a couple of years, but seeing the lake yesterday made me think of it.

Granted, there are issues that are not easy to let go of, so much so, in fact, that you might need some one to help you with them; do not be afraid to see a counselor. However, the rational hope we have in Christ helps us understand the relative value of all the other stuff we have in our psychological store room. Our hope helps us to sort them out and let all the junk go.

Grace&Peace;
Tom

I wanted to add this verse to the posting of yesterday because it is a verse that reinforces my argument that having hope in Christ helps us deal with the internal house keeping that we all need to do. "And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure" (I John 3:3).

WHAT TO KEEP & WHAT TO THROW AWAY

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways" (I Corinthians 13:11).

In our house my wife, the lovely and gracious Helen, and I have a bedroom that has served as a storeroom for years. It has been filled with memorabilia and things we "might use some day." Well, with the Christmas holidays approaching and the prospect of adult children and grandchildren filling the house, we need the space in the bedroom for sleeping. So, Helen has been busy for the last several weeks sorting through what to keep and what to throw away. It is an activity that I dare not do because my disposition is to throw a lot away that my wife and my children might want to keep.

So how is it that we know how to differentiate what to keep and what to throw away? It is not an easy question to answer because one person's junk is another person's treasure. Also, life transitions are not easy for some--throwing away a card or a paper is almost like throwing away a memory. Even if they are never accessed we know that they are safely stored in the storeroom somewhere for us to access should the need arise. We lose control of the past if we throw these things away. Incidentally, Helen is an archivist--she is a Creative Memories consultant in case any of you readers are in need of archival products. An orderly archiving of pictures and papers is a wonderful asset to a family's story and it can settle some family disagreements too. Back to the point of the paragraph, there is only so much space in the house, how do you know what to keep and what to throw away?

1. Is it pertinent to current legal, medical, employment and business matters?

2. Is it something that has a possible immediate use? (If it hasn't been used in the last year, probably it will not be used.)

3. Does it give an important insight into the development and disposition of children? By that I mean that important pictures, papers and records need to be kept.

4. All love letters should be kept so that children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren can understand their ancestors. In this digital age, letters written on paper with ink are going to be hard to come by!

5. Does it have material value so that it can be immediately sold or given away with a clear conscience? If "we could sell it on ebay" but never get around to it--throw it away!!!

6. Is it an important part of your spiritual journey?

7. Collections are not important to me--they are dust collectors and take up space. If a collection cannot be displayed or used them let it go.

When I started this post I intended that it be a metaphor for doing the psychological/emotional/spiritual house cleaning that we need to do now and then too. What in our past and in our minds and our hearts needs to be kept and what needs to be thrown away? I will pick it up there tomorrow.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

ONE WAY FAITH MAKES A DIFFERENCE

"What does it profit, my brethren, if a man says he has faith but has not works? Can his faith save him? If a brother or sister is ill-clad and in lack of daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what does it profit? So faith itself, if it has no works, is dead" (James 2:14-17).

As I was reading an Israeli news service this morning, Arutz-Sheva, a column by Jeff Jacoby* caught my eye. I want to share a blurb from that column because it demonstrates how faith in God is a blessing to the world.

"The Los Angeles Times reported last year on research showing that people without faith were less likely to help a poor or homeless person than religious believers. While both were equally likely to describe themselves as 'good citizens,' their charitable practices were strikingly different. Americans of no faith donated an annual average of two hundred dollars to charity; active-faith adults typically contributed fifteen hundred dollars. Even when church-based giving was subtracted from the mix, religious Americans donated twice as much to charity as the nonreligious."

The political liberals believe that taxes are a form of giving, and while legislating them for everyone else, will enact special privileges for themselves to avoid paying their fair share. While people of faith, after being over-taxed, will dig down and give more to those in need. See how faith and love make a difference?

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*Jacoby is a columnist for the Boston Globe.

THE NEW BIRTH

"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, 'You must be born anew'''(John 3:5-7).

I'm reading a book, for the second time, called, Encounters with Christ, by Mark Moore. It is in Nicodemus' encounter with Jesus that Dr. Moore makes the comment, "The reason we enter as new-borns is because nothing of our old life is relevant to the new . . . The truth is, unless we come humbled and barren, with empty hands and open hearts, then access to the kingdom is denied. There are no shortcuts, no alternate routes. All must pass the way of the cross."

Moore's comment is a great comment, but it set me to thinking, "Are you sure that nothing of the old is relevant to the new? It is true that nothing of the old life is relevant to the attainment of the new life, but in terms of performance, there is much in the old life that is relevant to the new life." Think about it: We are still saddled with the same genetic code; we still have to deal with the negative dynamics of traumatic life experiences; and we are still immersed in a flood of the world's influences. How are we to survive the new birth in view of all this?

We have a new identity--we are God's children now. "Therefore, if any one is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, behold, the new is come" (II Corinthians 5:17). In Christ, we have a new standing, with new privileges and promises that were not available to us before.

In the new birth there is a new dynamic that is unleashed in our lives that is more powerful than the world, the flesh and the devil; the Spirit of God. "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being changed into his likeness from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit" (II Corinthians 3:18). If you are looking to our Heavenly Father for guidance and sustenance then you will survive the new birth and grow into a fine child of God. I can't wait for the great family reunion!

Grace&Peace,
Tom

FINDING THE TRUTH

"See to it that no one makes a prey of you by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition . . . and not according to Christ" (Colossians 2:8).

The average U.S. girl has the opportunity to see 77,546 commercials by the time she is 12 years old.*

One hundred twenty seven million Americans visit WalMart each week, while only 68 million watch the networks evening news.** The one who reported that statistic makes it sound like a bad thing that so few watch the network evening news. However, I see it as a good thing because the main-stream media is so slanted toward liberalism. Any attempt at objectivity has been lost. This election cycle, the main-stream media was in bed with Obama. It is tough to find objective reporting these days, but it certainly does not come from the network's evening news. One probably gets a better perspective about reality at WalMart.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

*The Foster Report.
** TFR

A TABLE GRACE

"God, when we don't have food to suit our taste, then please give us the taste to suit our food" (Eugene Morse, author of Exodus to a Hidden Valley). One of the Morse families main sources of food was atu pith. It required processing and didn't taste good but it was nutritious. This was the Morse family prayer for it.

The Morse family were missionaries in north Burma when the Communists took over the government. They were given expulsion orders. The family and about 2,000 Lisu tribal people made a westward trek to the Indian border, but were not allowed in, so, they made their home in a valley in the unsurveyed border area between India and Burma. It is an inspiring story that was published by Readers Digest in 1974. It is a story about God's provision, the value of freedom and simple Christian faith. If you can find the book, give it a read! It will increase your faith! I just finished it.

Grace&Peace,
Tom

ELECTION THOUGHTS

"Then the angel said to me, 'The waters you saw, where the prostitute sits, are peoples, multitudes, nations and languages" (Revelation 17:15).

Have you ever sat on the beach and watched the waves come into shore? Have you ever watched the tide come in or go out? A preacher friend of mine was wading in waist-deep water on a Florida beach. Who would have thought he could have been swept out into the ocean nearly a mile? Even though the waters look calm, the waters are alive with currents.

So it is with people. The most quiet people can have the strongest emotions within them. With people groups there are certainly ebbs and flows of emotions, values. There is never stasis!

We witnessed the ebb and flow of the American people in the election on Tuesday. To me it was personally disheartening to see the expansion of liberalism. In my view, it will destroy America, but if that is the change the American people want, so be it. The positive results of the election were: A black man was elected as president, and homosexual marriage was blocked in California. The courts will probably over-rule the will of the people on that issue, however.

Obama is my President. Conservatives will certainly treat him with much more respect than liberals treated President Bush. The liberals publicly called for Bush's assassination, and hurled every insult imaginable at him. Yet, in twenty years it will be recognized that Bush was one of our better presidents. In this financial crisis, brought on by Democrat congressional leadership in both houses, we are finding out that the economy of the United States is still the strongest in the world! (Note the strength of the dollar.) We have not had a terrorist attack on America since 911. Bush could have done much better, but if Obama does as well, we will be blessed.

As Christian people, our citizenship is in heaven; there is our hope. Utopia will not be found on earth! There will always be ebbs, flows and even stormy seas when it seems that all is lost, but the Christian's hope is in the one who cannot be shaken, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I think one of the lessons that Christians should learn from this election is the futility of pushing Christian values on the non Christian through political power. Christian values are accepted by hearts that have surrendered to Jesus Christ. Not everyone who calls himself a Christian is one if they only have accepted Jesus as Savior, but never surrendered to Him as Lord.

Grace&Peace,
Tom